THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Hovak]

Day 1 again, looked at her facebook page, started crying, not goint too well.

[figmentations]

Day 56 (8 weeks)

 

I didn't remember how many days had passed so I had to count backwards so maybe my counting is off. I'm actually have more problems and dramas with my friends which is kinda welcome from suffering about my ex. I feel crappy but not because of ex but because of the friends situation and people giving their opinion all the time.

[marshmallito]

Day 17

It's been over a month... why am I still waiting to hear from him?

[diesel85]

Day 6

 

It's been about a month since it came to an end. I don't know if she will ever want to see me again and that hurts....It does not help that she is only a mile away from where I live. I feel empty even during my happpy moments because I know I can't share them with her anymore. I need to accept that healing and growing will take much longer than I imagined. I've just barely scratched the surface.

[diesel85]

whoops....double posted by mistake

[Watergirl777]

2 weeks no contact! Sad!

[marshmallito]

Day 19

Had an awful nights sleep... kept waking up with vivid dreams of him and I think I am grinding my teeth. That hasn't happened for weeks now

My anticipating hearing from him is increasing rather than fading. Wish someone would put me out of this misery.

[beaton]

Day 25

I still feel sad sometime. I know that we will never be together again, and may not ever even talk again. It's more a sadness for that whole portion of my life being so abruptly ended. I loved him.

[Sleepless15]

I am ready for NC. I do sometimes feel like screaming and there is this emptiness, and I can't call him or email him. This is brutal. I will try to never contact him again.

[Nightm4re]

Day 6

 

I saw some pictures of her on instagram (accidently) where it looked that she was having an amazing time on a festival..

Still wondering if she thinks of me, cause I think of her a lot still.

I've made a list with all the things I don't like of her and put it into my phone.

Everytime I miss her, I grab the list and read it over and over again, this helps me somehow

Unfortenatly, healing is slow process and it will get better over time..

Stick to the NC!!

[marshmallito]

Day 20

I cried today... despairing if I will find someone in time to have a family. I never used to worry about that.

[marshmallito]

Day 21

I am more depressed than ever. My jaw hurts from grinding my teeth. My apartment is slovenly, I am overeating, everything feels overwhelming. The comfort of my sofa is all I want. For the first time I want to invite my ex over for comfort, he would probably drop everything for the night, but tomorrow where would I be.

 

How long will it take for my withdrawals to pass?

[figmentations]

62 days/ 2 months of NC

 

I read the posts here and it makes me sad to see so many of you struggling. It's been 2 months exactly today since my BU and NC and it does get better. Am I 100% healed and moved on? Nope. But I found the means to think of other things, do stuff, reflect on my former relationship and ex and things that weren't good between us. I look forward to love again and to celebrate my two months of being a single lady, I'm going out for drinks with my friends. It really does get better, I still have a long way to go and things to fix but I am confident I will be okay and I know all of you struggling right now will also be okay.

 

I was there, too. The first month is the crappiest but you will be fine.

[Nightm4re]

NC 13, BU since the 5th May

 

It's one of those days again pfff, can't simply get her out of my head.

But why would I let her influence my life negatively? I shouldn't!

I should try to live again and make the best of life.

A friend of my just lost a close friend in a car accident.. Life could be over any second if you think of it.

Make the best of it and try to stay positive everyone xoxo

[Enn]

Day 7. He sent me a 'Hope you are alright, I've been thinking about you a lot but I don't want to say the wrong thing' non-message on day 4. I don't have any problems not being in touch (I absolutely know I will NEVER break NC) but this terrible sadness feels insurmountable. I've got a date set up for next week and I'm scared I'll ruin them by seeming sad, or comparing them with my ex. Who was actually not great for me.

[kitkat77]

i've gone out on two dates in the last week. two very different people. different from each other, and different from my ex. i enjoyed getting out and meeting a couple of new people, but i'm not interested. my thoughts kept wandering to him, and wishing he was there instead. so, no more dates for a while. i thought i was ready, but i guess i'm not. i'm tired of this.

 

i've been so angry at him for the last week. he's already replaced me, and he's taking her to the places we used to go. here i am, 6 weeks later, still hurting. i've been grieving way too long. first a miscarriage back in march, and just when i was starting to feel better from that, BAM. he drops the bomb that he's met someone else, and started sleeping with her prior to us ending for good. i can't understand how this kind of stuff happens. i'm just furious, every day. and then i get furious for allowing him to make me angry. things went so bad, so fast. up until january, i thought we were indestructible.

 

i WILL NOT call him to tell him what a jerk i think he is. no way.

[marshmallito]

Day 23

I think I got some wallowing out of my system this week. Feeling better today, but still overeating, and my jaw still hurts so I had better get to the dentist. I have been on a date, and we talked for hours. I feel hopeful today that I will move on. I still miss my ex, miss teasing him, miss him rubbing my back.

[WinterGreen]

Last time I saw her: 30 Days

BU: 28 Days

NC: 28 Days

 

I've been doing ok. I get bummed out at times. It was a short relationship, 3.5 months, but those always seem to get me more - alas failed potential. I thought we had a great romantic friendship budding. We had everything in common, the same ideals, passions, desires. She was shy and had some anxieties, but in the time that I knew her, I saw someone who was genuine, beautiful, kind, warm...and ohmygod...so funny. We had each other in tears laughing and making up zany conversations. I kissed her for the first time on our first date, it lasted 10 mins. We'd make out for hours at times, until our lips became chapped. She loved to fall asleep in my arms. It was great. While it lasted.

 

Tonight I've been reflective. 30 days ago was the last time we saw each other. At this moment, on that night we were together in bed, cuddling and enjoying a movie. 2 days later she broke up with me saying she didn't think it was working any more. I didn't plead, beg, or try to win her over. I simply said that I think we could work this out, that it's still early and you don't have to have all the answers just yet, told her how I felt about her, wished her all the best in life, said no hard feelings and then good bye. I've been NC since the very moment I hung up the phone. 28 days NC. Today was the first time I actually really counted or noticed.

[Nightm4re]

@kitkat77

 

First of all i'm sorry for your miscarriage.. That's horrible!

As for your ex; you deserve better. I know you've already heared this over and over again, but time will heal your wounds.

Just make sure you don't allow yourself to become crazy by visiting his social-media pages or looking whether he's online on whatsapp or not.

NC means NC, so don't punish yourself by looking at those pages and see him and his rebound being 'happy'. In fact I'm sure he's still thinking of you, especially if you stick to NC. He will also think things like; is she already over me? Didn't I mean anything for her?

The book NLP really helped me to become more positive and see things from a different perspective, I think it will also help you to heal from your miscarriage.

Healing starts with yourself getting back on track. It's very important to do fun things in the upcomming weeks. Just tell your closest friend(s); hey, I need you to carry me through the next 3-4 weeks and do fun things together. Also what really helped me is to do 5 minutes of mindfulness a day. It really only takes 5 minutes of your time, but you HAVE to do it. Visualize were you want to be and see yourself happy. This will also help you to become more positive and will also give it forth to others.

The last thing is to make sure you capture your fun moments with a camera and post it them on your social-media pages. Not for the purpose of showing your ex you moved on (it will help tho but to show others you are positive and fun to hang out with.

 

Hope it helps and take care!!

Cheers

[killthecat]

Broke NC after 24 by sending her a closure letter.

 

A day earlier she said that we should meet, but I just can't do it while she is with a man she left me for.

The e-mail boiled down to this: After all we've been through I just can't be "another male friend" of hers. I still love her and trying to hide it constantly would be both painful for me and dishonest to her. I wished her to be happy with her life and ask her to let me keep my distance from her.

 

I don't expect her to respond and even if she did - it won't be anything I'd like to read, probably.

But I got my closure and can move on with healing. It's the first time I feel some peace since we broke up - and it feels great.

[Nightm4re]

@killthecat

 

Tbh i wouldn't have sent the letter. I did in once and I still regret it; after a few days more questions pop-up about the relationship and you will punish yourself for all the things that you think you did wrong; negative reflection. Also you wonder how they really think about the letter and think of them even more.

I know that you think that it gave you closure and it did for the moment, but instead you should have written the letter for your self and for yourself only.

Just by writing your feelings down for yourself and accept the fact is that it is over, would have been better for you and given you even more closure.

The letter gave her an ego boost and and pushed her futher away form you (in her perspective, not yours).

Mistakes can be made and overcome remember itfor the next time.

Read my post above and hopefully see yourself healed. Take care!!

[kitkat77]

thank you for this. i appreciate it.

 

thankfully, i've already blocked him on FB, but he has never had much of a social media presence, anyway. so, there aren't many opportunities for me to see what he's up to. he rarely ever gets on FB, so he probably doesn't even know he's been blocked! lol.

 

i'm sorry, i'm not familiar with the book you mentioned. could you elaborate?

 

i'm getting out of town for the weekend, and i think that will be good. i need a change of scenery!

[Nightm4re]

Okay, the social media problem is solved then haha!

The book is about a new way of psychology and motivating yourself in a positive way.

link removed

The book really helped me.

Yeah going away for the weekend will do you good!

[figmentations]

64 days

 

I'm getting to that stage where I have to calculate exactly how many days have passed. It's weird. I used to write here every day but after 2 months, I don't have the same need for it. I guess I just want to show that it is possible to reach 60 days of NC. I'm happier than I was a month ago, still have a long way to go but I know I'm on the right track.

[marshmallito]

Thanks for writing after 60 days Figmentations. Sometimes I feel a break from the boards would do me good, but I think I still need to be here, to remind myself not to reach out to him.

 

Day 24

My girlfriend just fallen for a man that isn't her equal by superficial standards (intelligence, looks, career etc). He has such a kind generous nature, and you can see she is very precious to him. I hope I can find that. My ex was kind and generous, but I wasn't precious to him.