THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[figmentations]

Day 35

 

Still sick but no longer thinking obsessively about my ex. Not as mad or hurt that she hasn't talked to me at all during these 35 days. It bugs me but not as much as before. I've been hanging out a lot with friends, small reunions and the such and everyone tells me not to get back if she tries. It's all pretty confusing.

[TheaJames]

Day 28

 

Today four weeks ago is the last time we spoke. This week has been particularly tough, though I don’t know why. I miss him so much. I cried a lot. I’m trying to keep busy and I’m grateful that my job requires me to do a lot of work at home. Unfortunately, this doesn’t keep me from obsessing. I still want him back, although realistically I figure it’s not going to happen, although I know with everything that has happened it would be better if I just forgot about him and moved on. But that last spark of hope refuses to die.

I just hope it won’t be too long until it finally does.

[todayisrough]

Day 32

 

I miss you and I don't think I will say happy Birthday to you but right now I am busy so who knows if i will crack tonight I keep asking myself is it worth the pain. I don't think I am ready ..

[El3216]

It's been 2 weeks since you moved out. It's been very empowering living alone.

 

It's been 10 days since full blown NC I don't know how long I will expect a text or a call from you? I still get disappointed when I check my phone and see nothing. I know it will fade with time. I've committed to positive thinking because I know this is a storm that will pass. Either outcome will prove to be okay. a/ we get back together as better versions of ourselves or i take these hard learned lessons and make my next relationship a success.

[Alone Now]

26

 

after 30 will I stop counting,?

 

Unfortunately ITIC, counting is just numbering your attachment to him. Yes, you will probably count for months to come. It is only human. This is your outlet and you are surrounded by people who are going through the same thing. Saying "Day 30" is similiar to an alcoholic getting a 30 day chip. You still need to avoid the bar; or in your case B.

 

Counting is healthier than contacting, no matter how much you want to. You know you are one strong cookie. Be strong!

[IAmFCA]

I am in sort of a nc re everybody, and it feels like the result will be no men contact me.

 

in high school, ss tried to, or did, teach me this lesson. I guess I am learning it all over again.

 

I am so accustomed to getting attention. it's a little weird now. not sure what I think. feels a little gamey. but maybe the outcome will change. if I want different results, then I gotta put in different inputs, right?

[Alone Now]

I am in sort of a nc re everybody, and it feels like the result will be no men contact me.

 

in high school, ss tried to, or did, teach me this lesson. I guess I am learning it all over again.

 

I am so accustomed to getting attention. it's a little weird now. not sure what I think. feels a little gamey. but maybe the outcome will change. if I want different results, then I gotta put in different inputs, right?

 

Maybe this is the time we have discussed about being with your daughter! You have wonderful qualities and a giving heart obviously! Jeez, people wrote songs about you! That has to do your ego a world of good. If the author of that song (I'll refrain from using his name) is fun to hang out with, then go bowling or play chess or watch a movie together whenever he is in town.

 

From what you have written about him, you feel safe with him around you and he acts like a protector. What girl wouldn't love to have a friend like that? I know, I know, the whole rock star thing, but does he act like he is the rock star, which he is, when he is with just you? Or does he act like a stand up guy and a gentleman? That observation would make the decision easy right?

 

Input your headphones and listen to those songs. Feel them and let them talk to you ITIC!

[diesel85]

Day 7- I can't believe it's only been one week. I still look back and cringe at the 50 or so texts i sent her in the few days after. I've always been the type of person to really look back at past mistakes very critically, feeling shame and regret more than most people. This part of my personality is not particularly helpful right now. It's time to put that to rest. I just need to remind myself that nothing can be done about what has already happened. I may have lost a bit of dignity then, but I'm regaining it for myself with every single day I choose not to contact her. I can't control what she thinks of me now and it shouldn't matter. She made it clear that I am not all that important to her...so what. she's gone. Only what I think of myself is important. I need to work on myself by staying busy, staying healthy,and accomplishing my own personal goals....little by little

[TheaJames]

Day 29

 

Last night was bad. I haven't cried like this in weeks and I wonder why I am now. I miss him terribly. So many things I do or see remind me of him and I want to tell him, but I can't, and that hurts. I'm so angry at myself for not being stronger than this, for being unable to let go and move on. For waiting for a call, a text, an email that I know won't come. And yet I'm hoping for just that. It's stupid and pathetic.

I hope next week will be easier. This weekend has been a bit of a set-back.

[todayisrough]

Back to Day 1

 

Just broke NC to message him a Happy Birthday.. Feelings are raw now..

[IAmFCA]

day 27' and the letting go of you is made more substantive because I also am letting go of MM who I wanted to like. but you know, to tell the truth, I didn't screen as hard as I screened b and tbh the sex was, um, effective. effective. really? gotta keep moving.

[Alone Now]

day 27' and the letting go of you is made more substantive because I also am letting go of MM who I wanted to like. but you know, to tell the truth, I didn't screen as hard as I screened b and tbh the sex was, um, effective. effective. really? gotta keep moving.

 

SO PROUD OF YOU ITIC! You are made of all the right stuff! Find a companion, not a "partner". Find a friend, not a just someone to share a bed! You are an amazing person ITIC! You listened to the songs again didn't you?

 

I hate to say I told you so, but I will!

[marshmallito]

Day 13

I have started looking out for him on the street... looking for his car on the road. Its hard to accept he hasn't tried calling me.

[Alone Now]

Day 13

I have started looking out for him on the street... looking for his car on the road. Its hard to accept he hasn't tried calling me.

 

It takes a while to get him out of your system. Months perhaps. I found distractions like an ipod or taking different routes helped for a while. But even now I still get a twinge of hopefulness when I see a car similiar to his. It's all very frustrating.

[marshmallito]

It takes a while to get him out of your system. Months perhaps. I found distractions like an ipod or taking different routes helped for a while. But even now I still get a twinge of hopefulness when I see a car similiar to his. It's all very frustrating.

Yeah, I wish the hope could just get buried in my subconscious somewhere. It just creates unnecessary disappointments.

[Alone Now]

Yeah, I wish the hope could just get buried in my subconscious somewhere. It just creates unnecessary disappointments.

 

That is really quite understandable. But when I do run into MW occasionally it turns into something even greater than disappointment. It turns into blind hope, that something will change and develop and it never has and I return to square one, just like today because I ran into him at a concert. Find a friend to hang out with, someone who is true to you and will provide honest comfort. Luckily I have one of those!

[Alone Now]

Day 29

 

Last night was bad. I haven't cried like this in weeks and I wonder why I am now. I miss him terribly. So many things I do or see remind me of him and I want to tell him, but I can't, and that hurts. I'm so angry at myself for not being stronger than this, for being unable to let go and move on. For waiting for a call, a text, an email that I know won't come. And yet I'm hoping for just that. It's stupid and pathetic.

I hope next week will be easier. This weekend has been a bit of a set-back.

 

So sorry! It gets easier over time, I promise!

[Jimbly]

Day 40. Why has it got harder, not easier the past 10 days? I think it's the gorgeous weather bringing back memories of all the fun times we had camping and hiking, walking her dogs, and hanging out on the swings at the local playground. Hopefully a small bump as I move to the future without her.

[El3216]

Went out last night for cinco de mayo. Was terrified id see her out. Really glad I didn't. Day 11 I think was today.

[IAmFCA]

day 28.

 

still processing. which is a waste of time. after day 30, I will limit my screen time. only permit it if I have worked out first. there is nothing to process, only to accept. in acceptance is beauty and peace.

[Alone Now]

I am in sort of a nc re everybody, and it feels like the result will be no men contact me.

 

 

I am so accustomed to getting attention. it's a little weird now. not sure what I think. feels a little gamey. but maybe the outcome will change. if I want different results, then I gotta put in different inputs, right?

 

I'm sure that either R or BB will be in contact with you. Maybe both! And I refuse to believe you could be "gamey" as you put it. If either do contact you, remember that they are doing so because they like you! You have qualities that make them both want to reach out to you. What a wonderful choice to have to make between the two, but hey, why pick one? Right now is your time to have FUN!

[Alone Now]

day 28.

 

still processing. which is a waste of time. after day 30, I will limit my screen time. only permit it if I have worked out first. there is nothing to process, only to accept. in acceptance is beauty and peace.

 

Beautifully said ITIC. You are a beautiful person and you will find peace from within, from your daughter and from your friends!

[IAmFCA]

Day 40. Why has it got harder, not easier the past 10 days? I think it's the gorgeous weather bringing back memories of all the fun times we had camping and hiking, walking her dogs, and hanging out on the swings at the local playground. Hopefully a small bump as I move to the future without her.

 

I think we let go in layers, so as we find deeper levels of acceptance, we also unlock deeper levels of letting go. Its one thing to let go on a superficial level -- there always are some traits we are glad to be free of. But then, something happens and we don't have their help or their company or something, and after a time we realize that it may take a while to replace it. That is a deeper layer, where we are letting go not only of the person, but also of the experience with anyone. We are coming to the place where we have to embrace being without, but we haven't come to the place where we find out how wonderful we are.

[Amandacast57]

I'm not really sure what day of NC I'm on. I started NC on March 29, counted EACH AND EVERY DAY, until the 1 month mark where I broke NC. He responded but it really confirmed how much of a GREAT decision NC is and how he is just an awful person. Since then, I haven't even stopped to think what day I'm on or even care, at that. I feel SO much better, so happy and excited for what the future holds.

 

Of course, the "happy" memories with him drift in and out but that is about it.

[mdavidohoh]

Bring it on! I broke no contact today and I feel horrible and weak! Never again.

I just have to remind myself that he is a loser and my life will be better without him. I know it doesn't feel like that right now, but it will get better. I can do this!