THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Sparkleeyes]

Day 10

 

Finding it really difficult today. I really want to know how he is getting on and whether I am in his thoughts at all. I would love to receive some kind of indication that he is at least thinking of me. The type of person he is, I know he can easily put things out of his mind, and for all the hours and days I've spent thinking of nothing but him, the reality is he probably has other things occupying him.

 

10 days is nothing, but it feels like a lifetime to me. The tears have come back as well so trying to pull myself together.

[Sparkleeyes]

Day 10

 

Going strong, no contact... funny thing is, she's respecting it, hasn't said a peep. Which makes it harder because I'm a selfish bastard and need to know she still cares and wonders about me.

 

Ditto! Same length of NC; same feeling.

[adyghost]

Hang in there! I'm trying new things that require focus and concentration, like doing needlepoint. That's right, it does say male on my profile and I did say needlepoint

[Sparkleeyes]

Hang in there! I'm trying new things that require focus and concentration, like doing needlepoint. That's right, it does say male on my profile and I did say needlepoint

 

That's really funny! I went back to check if you were male before I read the last sentence

[Loveandlost]

this is my second NC phase since the breakup the first lasted 13 days, now I'm on day 9. I miss my friend more then anything.. weekends are the worst during breakups need to find more things to do to pass the time.

[DoctorCartune]

were you the dumper or the dumpee?

[Loveandlost]

I was the dumpee

[Maroon]

3 weeks 3 days NC. Should have been longer but my ex (the dumper) broke it, and I carelessly replied to her text. So I was back to square one. No contact, no Twitter, no Facebook, no messages, no calls, nothing. Feeling the urge to break NC but nothing good will come out of it. NC continues. Good luck to all of us!

[Sparkleeyes]

DAY 11

 

Today is a good day! After 11 days of NC, my ex sent me a text asking how I had been and asking me to change my work day at his premises from Wednesday to Tuesday so that he can see me this week as he is travelling Wednesday

 

I haven't replied yet and may or may not tomorrow. However a meeting tomorrow is not possible as I have other plans.

 

I'm smiling because this is our first contact since the break up and it was initiated by him

[Levia]

Day 4 after realizing that she is with someone else, and is acting happy all over the internet about it. She did it after I told her for the last time I couldn't be her "friend", she soon rubbed it in my face saying that she fell for someone else because I wasn't around. Two weeks earlier she called me to tell me she was still in love with me, and that she was trying to find her way back to me.

 

Now she stalks my blogs multiple times a day to keep tabs. Definitely staying NC. I wish I knew why she was still thinking about me.

[Redtide]

Day 1

 

After finding out that he is seeing someone else and is telling people I need to change if I ever want him again, which I don't completely agree with, NC is back on. Let's do this.

[Nolia]

Here's a little background into my situation We have been broken up for 5 months. She left out of the blue saying it wasn't mTe it was her and the pressure from her parents. Her parents didn't like me much since we have a 7 year age difference. When we first started seeing each other she new her parents wouldn't approve of our age difference but she decided to date me anyways, figuring she could change their mind along the way.

 

After about a year into our relationship her parents found out we were dating and they told her they didn't want her talk to me anymore. She has always been respectful of her parents so it was a very tough decision for her. I knew how much we loved each other at that point and that the bond was too strong to be broken so we kept on dating behind their backs because it was our decision and not their's. Another 2 years go by and we had to keep our relationship private to keep it from her parents.

 

Why did I let this happen? I guess because I loved her so much and would do anything to have been with her. All of a sudden she drops the bomb on me and says she can't hide it anymore and that the pressure and guilt is becoming too much because each day she falls farther and farther in love with me. So she breaks up with me and says its best if we don't talk. I know she feels horrible and still thinks the world of me. It has been so hard to accept because I know this isn't what she wants, and I know how much she loves me and wishes we could be together.

 

The first month after the breakup I was a mess, couldn't even get out of bed for awhile. Kept emailing and texting her trying to save our relationship, but it wasn't gonna happen. Finally I decided to go no contact. Each month I felt better and stronger, got all the way up to over 100 days of no contact when I decided to check my old email that we used to use together and there was an email from her from 3 weeks earlier. I had written her off, figured she was over me and has moved on and wanted nothing to do with me. She writes me and says hey wanted to see how your doing, I've been thinking about you recently, hope everything is well for you. After I read this my heart just melts, i was like what does this mean? I had written her off. She told me she was moving on and wanted to not talk anymore because it would be too hard for her.

 

So I caved in and texted her the next day. She was really nice and asked me a lot of questions. I kept the answers short and simple and didn't want to show her any signs of how much I still love her because she broke my heart. After about 10 minutes of idle time, she texts me are you dating anyone? I pause and think of what to say... Do I lie and say yes, do I say I've gone on a few dates like I have, or do I just say no? I decided to say no so I didn't have to discuss it further. I could tell she wanted me too ask her because why else would she care? But I knew she wasn't, or else why would she tell me she's been thinking about me and want to know if I'm dating anyone? I don't know what this means, but I don't put a lot into it.

 

That was 3 weeks ago, haven't heard from her since. I feel like I took a few steps back in my recovery because it's still fresh and I still love her, it brought back a lot of feelings instantly. I still care about her and would do anything for her, so I'm struggling again. I have a friend telling me that she was reaching out the olive branch to see how I respond to her, another friend says she's trying to have her cake and eat it too. Others have said these are just breadcrumbs. All I know is that I love her, but she broke my heart, I don't think I will ever forgive her for that. I still wish I was with her, but at the same time I don't because of how she treated me.

 

Anyone have any insight or can explain to me what this means and what I'm feeling and if I should wish her a happy bday? It's on Tuesday.

 

By the way, my birthday happened during our no contact period and I didn't hear anything from her.

[Lightning87]

Day 33

 

It does get easier after all.

[Sparkleeyes]

DAY 12

 

I thought long and hard as to whether I should reply to his text yesterday. After waiting more than 24 hours and checking the rules of the challenge I decided to do so. The challenge says if you are in a work situation you can make contact ONLY if it is work related. He asked me yesterday how I was doing, but also if I could change my work day from Wednesday to Tuesday. As I am self employed and have no employees, it would be unprofessional and rude not to reply. So I simply replied that I wasn't able to change my day because I already had plans. I didn't ask any questions so that I wouldn't be expecting a reply, therefore putting myself forward for rejection.

 

BUT, he did reply within 10 minutes. He said that he hoped we could meet up next week as he was sure we would have lots to gossip about by then.

 

I have not answered this message and have no intention to do so. Also I don't want to be friends, I want us back in a relationship. So meeting up for a "gossip" is out of the question. I won't be put into the friendzone.

 

Today I am feeling empowered and in control which is a complete turn of the tables from 3 weeks ago.

[GrowingUp85]

Sparkle,

 

Have you asked him what he wants? Does he want to reconcile and just can't say it?

[Sparkleeyes]

Sparkle,

 

Have you asked him what he wants? Does he want to reconcile and just can't say it?

 

Hi GrowingUp!

 

It's far too soon. We only broke up 12 days ago. Because of the events leading up to the break up, I want us both to have at least a couple of months of space. He wants to still be friends because I give him a lot of positive energy, but I don't want it to be like this. I want him to hold me tightly in his arms again.

 

If he does want to reconcile, he needs to pursue me and have the thrill of the chase, like how it was at the beginning. If I mention reconciliation, all I am doing is pursuing him and making myself too available.

 

I have worked out in my own mind what I want from our space apart and to achieve my goal, I need to have will power and learn the skill of being patient. That in itself will be a great lesson regardless of the outcome.

[GrowingUp85]

That's awesome. Good for you. Stay strong.

[C_Unknown2005]

26 days of no contact.... Kept it up since the break up, it has finally caught up with me. My emotions are all over the place because of this and I am feeling very weak...

[Redtide]

Day 1 (technically)

 

Did not talk to him, but mailed him a letter goodbye saying I didn't want to see him again right now but my door is open. I am NOT contacting him, at all. This is done. So really day 2 but let's restart, shall we?

[mojopin11]

End of day 4 (almost day 5). It's gone surprisingly quickly. We've decided not to talk until next year. This is my first post ever on ENA, maybe I'll post the accompanying story soon... you guys are giving me motivation to keep NC and not give in and call!

[Sparkleeyes]

DAY 13

 

Having a bit of a set back today. I don't have the urge to contact him which is good, BUT I'm missing him like crazy and feeling totally abandoned. I've just had a photo rammed down my throat on facebook by someboy (not him) trying to make me jealous. Trying my hardest to rise above it.

[leftme]

7 weeks. 7 weeks NIC. 7 weeks of acceptance. 7 weeks of getting my life together. 7 weeks of self improvement and realisation.

 

This break up will make me stronger.

[GrowingUp85]

Day 45. Still the first thing I think of when I wake up. 5 months since I last saw you.

[Keykey]

DAy 3. last night I posted something on facebook wonder if he read them

[CupidMissedMe]

day 2..now realizing for every break in NC, I step back 3 steps..not doing it again.