Redtide
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Getting back together really does happen!
Redtide replied to wishingonastar's topic in Getting Back Together
It's been 2 months since I posted in this part of the forums (read my past posts if you want.. way too much to explain here) but I just wanted to say that H and I are going strong. He's still seeing his therapist about his addiction and continues to tell me how sorry he was to hurt me the month of our breakup. Relationships can get back together... -
Day 1 (technically) Did not talk to him, but mailed him a letter goodbye saying I didn't want to see him again right now but my door is open. I am NOT contacting him, at all. This is done. So really day 2 but let's restart, shall we?
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Day 1 After finding out that he is seeing someone else and is telling people I need to change if I ever want him again, which I don't completely agree with, NC is back on. Let's do this.
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Day 9 My sister insisted I go to a crisis center last night to find out if I can get emergency medication for what I'm going thorough. Unfortunately, they can't do that. I need some kind of anti depression or anxiety medication cause all I can do is think about him and freak out internally. I know it's wrong, I know I need to stop but I can't believe he went from marriage talk a few days ago into this! H, I remember when you tried to kill yourself some seven years ago and how I was by your side as quickly as I could be... before any of our friends. I stayed with you when a lot of friends got creeped out and ran from you. And I had to do the same thing tonight and not only could I not tell you, I doubt you would have come or come easily. You're a bastard.
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Day 8 Extremely depressed still. Passed by you in my car at an intersection and didn't realize it was you stopped there til last second, when I did, you were turned away with everything in your power not to look at me. I'm hearing from friends all you want to talk about is your career and your workouts, the moment the idea of me is brought up you change the subject. You are apparently sad and quiet at work, but I can't believe that you miss me, even after 10 years of love and friendship. I still have feelings for you and I still wish you'd reach out and just tell me your day and nothing else, but if you are really going to push me away after that long of time? You're a sick bastard underneath it all.
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Give her time. She loves you and that is obvious, but whatever happened she needs to think about it. Be happy she's thinking about it. H is giving me SUCh mixed messages I don't know what to do.
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Also, what can you say about my situation? We aren't talking but people say he misses and loves me, he is liking my artwork and his twitter still has the draw of the two of us together (he tweets a lot)... am I hoping too much?
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I'm a woman, and I can't think of anything that says "forgive me, please give me another chance" more than actually saying it. She misses you. If you miss her, approach the subject and ask her for coffee or something. Best case scenario you two get back together, or you get closure and move on. You seem to be more or less beyond the initial shock so I don't see how seeing her would be a huge setback emotionally.
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Wow that really does make it more complicated. When my ex dumped me, I said "how lucky I am to have known someone that is so hard to say goodbye to," to which he smiles and says "then let's not say goodbye." We hug and talk like we use to for a half an hour, and then drive off into the night and wave goodbye. We've texted limited and friendly since then but it's been a week. I could not imagine getting back together after such an explosion but you know what? People lose their temper and make mistakes. If you want to contact her that's up to you...
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I've never heard the term "breadcrumbs" til this site, lol. She misses you, that's obvious. I suppose just look at visual and vocal cues to see what she really wants. Does she speak to you like a friend, or giggle a lot, or get really excited about talking about mundane things?
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Day 7 One week has gone by and I'm clawing at the walls. I can almost guarantee he misses me given what friends are saying and that he also loves me from what I'm hearing, but he also has that dating profile and hasn't spoken to me. I'm getting mixed messages all around. He liked two of my new pieces of work on facebook, and he apparently has the drawing I have of the two of us as his twitter profile picture still. H I miss you so much, I don't get why you left me after 10 years of love and dedication. I'm respecting your need for distance with everything I have. I can't wait to see you again.
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You ask me the whole blocking you, freaking out that you didn't respond to blocking you, and then UNblocking you to give YOU the chance to contact HER is her way of saying "I want to reconcile, but I want YOU to do it." That's me, I'm no expert, but that's the look of things.
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Of course I want him back. He made his mistakes and I made mine. If he tells people he may want to try again, why am I not allowed to think for a moment that may not be true?
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Day 6 Technically had contact yeasterday. I tagged him in a photo on facebook... a piece of artwork he expressed wanting to see done even after the break up. He "liked" it, but we didn't talk any further than that. Feel like **** he didn't comment any further, and someone said on his twitter page a few days ago he was feeling "depressed, scared and lonely." This might explain his sudden need for an okcupid profile. Oh, H. What are you doing and why. You say you may want to date down the line, and then you do this, and then you don't talk to me. I'm giving you your space and it's killing me in turn.
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It is not, Adyghost. For H and I, we texted eachother at least once an hour... for years. I know for a fact he also feels paranoid, lonely and depressed. The line has been cut and we are both suffering for it. Only difference is HE initiated it so the power is really HIS to stop it. Try to do it for a few days, it DOES get better.