THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[GrowingUp85]

Beginning of Day 12. It seems so much longer than that.

[xmen777]

Wasn't sure which day I'm at. I checked, I'm at

Day 5. Umpteenth attempt.

This day I'm not feeling that smitten with her. Feels better. Also I know I'm going on date, that helps too.

I still think I want her though. Tough. Got to ignore her. She had wanted me to email our photos. Why would she want them?

Should I Send them?

[Chinafish]

There's no hurry X, if she wants them she'll ask again. Your doing great x

[xmen777]

There's no hurry X, if she wants them she'll ask again. Your doing great x

 

thanks China

[NjoyStick]

Yea x777, just like China said, if she really wants them she'll contact you, so don't be her little doggy =P

 

Be strong, be a super saiyan... Or something like that xD

[xmen777]

Yea x777, just like China said, if she really wants them she'll contact you, so don't be her little doggy =P

 

Be strong, be a super saiyan... Or something like that xD

Had to google that lol... thanks

[Neil123]

So up and down. My brother told me she text him last night saying that she's angry at life in general right now so I was hoping she was missing me. Then today i've been feeling like I want her back all day and been thinking either I'm calling her soon, or I ride out the next few weeks and call her. But I was def leaning towards calling her at some point.

 

Anyways so i took my bro's phone and read the texts (ridic i know) and a bit earlier than the angry text she had said that she could no longer go to a big music festival in 2 weeks as she found out I was going. So now i've realised that's she angry at life because i'm going to the festival and probably not because she misses me (although wishful thinking means it could be both). Sigh, now I just feel guilty and like it's just really angered her that i'm going.

 

Not feeling great. This breakup sucks.

[Neil123]

Oh dear god, I just found out that her best friend (my friend as well) is convincing her to go and she's considering it. Seriously what the hell? I'm not ready for the this...how the hell can she be? This is just insensitive and selfish of her. Seriously angry now.

 

Anybody know how to approach this? How can I stop her going without looking too weak?

[GrowingUp85]

Oh dear god, I just found out that her best friend (my friend as well) is convincing her to go and she's considering it. Seriously what the hell? I'm not ready for the this...how the hell can she be? This is just insensitive and selfish of her. Seriously angry now.

 

Anybody know how to approach this? How can I stop her going without looking too weak?

 

But she's doing what's best for her. By definition, it is insensitive and selfish. She's not in a relationship with you anymore, and if she wants to go, she shouldn't have to worry about how that affects you. Look, I know how you feel, but you need to stop contact. Checking your brother's phone, etc, etc. Block yourself if you have to. Ask him to change passwords. Block her friends.

 

The only way to approach it is to do what you want to do. If you want to go, then go. But don't go with the intent to see her. That won't hep you.

[xmen777]

A friend (who isn't very good sightwise) said she saw my ex with 2 guys at a restaurant.. not sure if it's really her, as this friend is not very good at recognising people...

Was thinking, could my ex have been a borderline?

[Neil123]

But she's doing what's best for her. By definition, it is insensitive and selfish. She's not in a relationship with you anymore, and if she wants to go, she shouldn't have to worry about how that affects you. Look, I know how you feel, but you need to stop contact. Checking your brother's phone, etc, etc. Block yourself if you have to. Ask him to change passwords. Block her friends.

 

The only way to approach it is to do what you want to do. If you want to go, then go. But don't go with the intent to see her. That won't hep you.

 

In this case it's not fair. I have every right to go to the retail shop she works at or even her birthday night which is at a local club, but I'm respecting her space. I don't know why it's seen that people who end a relationship need to be completely out for themselves. What happened to mutual respect? We ended it with a mutual respect of each others right to get over this, but this is just breaking that.

 

So i'm not going anymore. I'm not gonna contact her or argue with her. I don't have the energy for this drama, I know human nature and if I tell her not to go, she'll only go more and i'll look more pathetic when it all blows up. I'm just gonna be the bigger man.

 

On the plus side, I'm really starting to hate her. Only a good thing.

[Chinafish]

Neil, I'm beginning to hate her too! I say skip the festival, and do something amazing instead that weekend. Even though you'll be alone. (You're never alone, you have us in your pocket) grab your tent and go climb a hill, go to London, go to Paris, go to NY,

 

If their going to Reading, go to Notting Hill instead. Or come down here to Southsea, we've got great line up that weekend. There's also The Highgate jazz festival. The world's your oyster.

 

Honestly, I don't know how you manage while your brother keeps in contact with her. Does he know how you feel? he seems quite insensitive.

[crazyoflove]

Day 5

 

Been really busy and having lots of fun over last few days. I feel that I am moving on. Still, it feels as if something is missing for picture to be complete. However, I have no need to contact her.

[NjoyStick]

Well, been in NC for about 2.5 months now and i don't miss her anymore, she is starting to disgust me more and more for what she has done, but it's ok, i forgive her cause she's only human, as far as i know... XD

 

Today was great, hung out with my family at the beach, and tonight some more =D

I'm close to handling my teleporting powers at it's fullest, it's funny to do all of the time xD

 

But anyway, life is sweet if you are almost fully healed, you find out what a **** of a person your ex can really be...

And i don't care if i ever see her again!

My healing is at approx. 92,76%...

Where did i get these numbers you ask? No idea but it feels that way xD

 

I guess in a few weeks i'm fully over it and can live my life easy again, haven't had a cry over her for weeks, i forgot alot of things about her, forgot what her voice sounds like and stuff like that so she probaly wasn't really that important for me =P

 

Keep breathing, look forward and never ever look back!

[Chinafish]

Well, I'm just back from a brilliant night out. I'm nearly 2 days NC (lol big deal for me) I know mr Ex is flying to Menorca tomorrow with Ms fat arse rebound. Feel weird. I meet someone this evening who I really like. He's not available so I'm not looking for anything there, it's just the fact that I've meet someone I fancy is a bit of a milestone. There's life in the old girl yet

[crazyoflove]

Day 6

 

Been to concert last night and couldn't stop thinking of her. Then I had a dream of her. I keep asking myself how could months of building a relationship, all promises that we made to each other disappear in couple of hours of fight. I kinda wish her to contact me and say she's sorry egen though deep down I know I could not forgive her.

[xmen777]

Day 6

 

Been to concert last night and couldn't stop thinking of her. Then I had a dream of her. I keep asking myself how could months of building a relationship, all promises that we made to each other disappear in couple of hours of fight. I kinda wish her to contact me and say she's sorry egen though deep down I know I could not forgive her.

 

Day 7 of ultimate retry. Couldn't stop thinking of her again yesterday. In my case it's worse, crazyoflove, we didn't even have a fight just everything disappeared into nothing. I wish she would contact me saying she's sorry, but when I met her again it was clear she wasn't sorry. How could I misjudge her so much. How can I still want her? I can't understand myself.

 

I've met someone too, like Chinafish, & will be meeting her this week... will see how it goes.

[Neil123]

Neil, I'm beginning to hate her too! I say skip the festival, and do something amazing instead that weekend. Even though you'll be alone. (You're never alone, you have us in your pocket) grab your tent and go climb a hill, go to London, go to Paris, go to NY,

 

If their going to Reading, go to Notting Hill instead. Or come down here to Southsea, we've got great line up that weekend. There's also The Highgate jazz festival. The world's your oyster.

 

Honestly, I don't know how you manage while your brother keeps in contact with her. Does he know how you feel? he seems quite insensitive.

 

Day 1 Attempt 2

 

I haven't contacted her directly but there has been so much indirect contact that it's ridiculous. I don't feel like i'm on day 22, it feels like day 1.

 

Thanks! I haven't spoken to her directly but she found out i'm not going and she started calling me overdramatic etc. Sigh, if i'm not ready, i'm not ready. Sometimes their ego just won't let you win.

 

Anyways my brother was actually really good this time around. He actually ended up in an argument with her and her friend but now I encouraged him to sort it out.

 

So do I message her on her birthday tomorrow? I'm thinking hellll NO. We ended things on pretty good terms, but this whole bestival stunt has really ruined that. I just don't want to look bitter, but I also don't want to look weak. DILEMMA.

[Chinafish]

I think yes, wish her a happy birthday. Don't expect a reply. Do it early so your not contemplating it all day, then get your arse back to NC x easy

[xmen777]

I really felt like messaging her but I'm trying not to.. it's difficult.

[GrowingUp85]

In this case it's not fair. I have every right to go to the retail shop she works at or even her birthday night which is at a local club, but I'm respecting her space. I don't know why it's seen that people who end a relationship need to be completely out for themselves. What happened to mutual respect? We ended it with a mutual respect of each others right to get over this, but this is just breaking that.

 

So i'm not going anymore. I'm not gonna contact her or argue with her. I don't have the energy for this drama, I know human nature and if I tell her not to go, she'll only go more and i'll look more pathetic when it all blows up. I'm just gonna be the bigger man.

 

On the plus side, I'm really starting to hate her. Only a good thing.

 

I see your point, but In my opinion, there's a difference between going to her retail shop or birthday party as opposed to going to a giant festival. You might not even see each other. She seems to be pretty dramatic, but it doesn't seem that you're helping. Just ignore her, be indifferent, and go about your ways.

[Neil123]

I see your point, but In my opinion, there's a difference between going to her retail shop or birthday party as opposed to going to a giant festival. You might not even see each other. She seems to be pretty dramatic, but it doesn't seem that you're helping. Just ignore her, be indifferent, and go about your ways.

 

She's in my friendship group. She'd be hanging with the same people. I just can't risk bumping into her, it'd be a disaster.

[Neil123]

I think yes, wish her a happy birthday. Don't expect a reply. Do it early so your not contemplating it all day, then get your arse back to NC x easy

 

Won't I look like a right idiot? After all this fuss two days before and then I'm wishing her a happy bday, it just seems so....weak? no?

[Chinafish]

Maybe. I can't gauge the level of fuss. I think it looks weak to ignore an ex's birthday. You CAN turn this around

 

"inspite of the problems of the last few days, I do hope you have a very happy birthday today"

 

I think that shows great maturity, status and fortitude. Of course I don't know either of you, and only youll know what's appropriate

[Chinafish]

Day 3, gazillionth attempt

 

Feeling good at the moment, I know the fact that he's on holiday with MFAR means he isn't contacting me, so I've nothing to restrain from. However, I've not done any cyber stalking either which is down to my own will power.