HoliPoli Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Day 12; Pretty bitter, short fustrated today. I really don't feel in the holiday spirit one bit. i have not decorated one bit and I feel i have to because i have a small child. God help me through this. Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Ditto I have no desire to put up decorations I got all my presents today but only because I have too. I'm so not excited about it. More stressed and I have no idea who to be with on christmas I just wish I was five again and had no worries but whether I would be getting a belville set for christmas I hate boyssssssssssssssss I mean the ones who have hurt me...I'm sure there are lots of lovely other ones..........................I guess Link to comment
HoliPoli Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Ditto I have no desire to put up decorations I got all my presents today but only because I have too. I'm so not excited about it. More stressed and I have no idea who to be with on christmas I just wish I was five again and had no worries but whether I would be getting a belville set for christmas I hate boyssssssssssssssss I mean the ones who have hurt me...I'm sure there are lots of lovely other ones..........................I guess I love to give holiday gifts. I think i give so many because I love to wrap them and make 'em all pretty. Hope nobody minds the tear stains on them this year. I'm so not kidding. Link to comment
HoliPoli Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Tomorrow will start day 1 all over again. Things are so weird for me right now as I did briefly talk to my ex tonight and it went well, but oddly. He said to "take the time I need to take and know he will be here." Meaning he would be there as my friend when I get back. I actually think he saw all the damage that the BU talk was putting me through. I feel calm after my purely torturous near 30 hour emotional breakdown- hey I'm not proud of it, but it happened. How he handled it was so much better than telling me to F off and or never talk to him again. I definitely need time away from the situation. given the choice, I probably would have gladly chosen death over feeling like a pathetic crazy woman one more night. Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Damn, hang in there HoliPoli. On that note... Day 2 of NIC for me. She poked me on Facebook, I poked back. We gifted each other in a mutual Facebook game. No biggie so far. And then I just "liked" her status update. GAH. I don't know if that counts. Link to comment
jeepman41 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Tomorrow will start day 1 all over again. Things are so weird for me right now as I did briefly talk to my ex tonight and it went well, but oddly. He said to "take the time I need to take and know he will be here." Meaning he would be there as my friend when I get back. I actually think he saw all the damage that the BU talk was putting me through. I feel calm after my purely torturous near 30 hour emotional breakdown- hey I'm not proud of it, but it happened. How he handled it was so much better than telling me to F off and or never talk to him again. I definitely need time away from the situation. given the choice, I probably would have gladly chosen death over feeling like a pathetic crazy woman one more night. Now....you may be feeling down but I don't think you would choose death over living one more day even though you are experiencing your own personal demons about this relationship. You NEED to get those thoughts out of your head. Life is worth living. Once you use NC to heal and move on you will look back at this period of time as one of life's many lessons you have learned. Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Four years is a long time. How long did you guys stay together, after your first break-up? It may be salvagable, if you both are willing to make changes. No-contact doesn't seem to be working too well for you. Maybe get couples counseling? Link to comment
jeepman41 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Ditto I have no desire to put up decorations I got all my presents today but only because I have too. I'm so not excited about it. More stressed and I have no idea who to be with on christmas I just wish I was five again and had no worries but whether I would be getting a belville set for christmas I hate boyssssssssssssssss I mean the ones who have hurt me...I'm sure there are lots of lovely other ones..........................I guess There are lots of lovely boys out there that you haven't met yet. Just have faith...or maybe you are just too sexy like your avatar says. Link to comment
HoliPoli Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Now....you may be feeling down but I don't think you would choose death over living one more day even though you are experiencing your own personal demons about this relationship. You NEED to get those thoughts out of your head. Life is worth living. Once you use NC to heal and move on you will look back at this period of time as one of life's many lessons you have learned. Your right, it was just so dark. you think that after almost 7 weeks it wouldn't be like this. Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Then a couple days later, I asked if she would be open for a brief chat. She agreed, we went for a walk after work, and she told me a mutual friend knew where we were (she had terrible experiences with exes in the past). That pretty much set the tone. We talked about what went wrong, about a future as friends, so on and so forth. At the end, I asked for a hug. She refused. GAH. I'm responding to myself, because it is therapeutic to get this out there. But during our chat, I even explained why I went NC, to work on myself and get strong! I told her what I was up to! And that there would be the possibility of going NC again in the future! CRUD I AM SUCH AN IDIOT! I'm also putting this out there because it may help others to NOT say such things. Whyyyyyyyyyyy.... Link to comment
HoliPoli Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 I'm responding to myself, because it is therapeutic to get this out there. But during our chat, I even explained why I went NC, to work on myself and get strong! I told her what I was up to! And that there would be the possibility of going NC again in the future! CRUD I AM SUCH AN IDIOT! I'm also putting this out there because it may help others to NOT say such things. Whyyyyyyyyyyy.... Why do you feel you are an idiot? Because you told her your NC plans? Link to comment
HoliPoli Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 I'm responding to myself, because it is therapeutic to get this out there. But during our chat, I even explained why I went NC, to work on myself and get strong! I told her what I was up to! And that there would be the possibility of going NC again in the future! CRUD I AM SUCH AN IDIOT! I'm also putting this out there because it may help others to NOT say such things. Whyyyyyyyyyyy.... My ex and I just did sort of the same thing today. He is encouraging me to take the time I need so I can come back stronger and mentally healthier. It's the first supportive thing he's done for me in a long time. Nobody he ever dates will be like we are with each other. They wont fight as hard as i do. Anyway I don't mind him knowing why I'm NC. Isn't communication healthy as long as it's not abusive? I think it's good you made it clear you are working on yourself. Link to comment
dobbin Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 almost 3 weeks. feeling alright today. just got that weird instinct feeling that he's thinking of me ALOT now that he just got back after 3 weeks away for work. oh well. working on myself am starting to really like this NC thing. it does work wonders after a while and it only makes me feel better about myself and happy to be away from a bad relationship/situation. Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 My ex and I just did sort of the same thing today. He is encouraging me to take the time I need so I can come back stronger and mentally healthier. It's the first supportive thing he's done for me in a long time. Nobody he ever dates will be like we are with each other. They wont fight as hard as i do. Anyway I don't mind him knowing why I'm NC. Isn't communication healthy as long as it's not abusive? I think it's good you made it clear you are working on yourself. Thanks That actually makes me feel a bit better, because I can see it in the positive light that it is. It has made her slightly more distant from me now. And also from time to time I go back to the "No Contact Instructions" here, and feel like a fool, because I think that if only I didn't blow my cover, I might have gotten baaaaaaack with herrrrrrrrr. lol! Gah.... I wish my ex was as openly supportive as yours. Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 almost 3 weeks. feeling alright today. just got that weird instinct feeling that he's thinking of me ALOT now that he just got back after 3 weeks away for work. oh well. working on myself am starting to really like this NC thing. it does work wonders after a while and it only makes me feel better about myself and happy to be away from a bad relationship/situation. Yes!!! Keep it up, Dobbin!!! Link to comment
Dibbs Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 DAY 7 of NC 4 months since BU I think that's the longest we've been without contact. I'm wondering if she's forgetting about me or thinking of me and of us... Still have the gut feeling she will contact me sooner or later Link to comment
HoliPoli Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Day 1 For my situation, I've learned that as long as both parties are willing, in time contact can be OK as long as there is no talk about the BU. I'm going to take as much time as I need to calm down then I'd like to go a solid week without crying and extra time of simply being calm before I even think about contact again. Today is 7 weeks since BU. I'm sure that if I had gone NC cold turkey I wouldn't be going through this pain this far into the BU, but also we wouldn't have this sort of friendship truce with him. Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 There are lots of lovely boys out there that you haven't met yet. Just have faith...or maybe you are just too sexy like your avatar says. hahahh thanks jeepman41 I felt lot better today, I have no idea why maybe it's my hormones playing up,or the brownie I had this morning...or maybe...just maybe this nc lark really is working!!! I just can't shake the feeling though that when good things happen to me I can't tell him about it. I still miss laughing with him but things are getting better. For the first time I felt a little christmasy today! Maybe it's because I'm excited about wrapping my presents....I have also been eating a lot better which is definitely helping things! I had an incentive as I am giving blood for the first time in a month and want to be healthy for that Link to comment
HoliPoli Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 hahahh thanks jeepman41 I felt lot better today, I have no idea why maybe it's my hormones playing up,or the brownie I had this morning...or maybe...just maybe this nc lark really is working!!! I just can't shake the feeling though that when good things happen to me I can't tell him about it. I still miss laughing with him but things are getting better. For the first time I felt a little christmasy today! Maybe it's because I'm excited about wrapping my presents....I have also been eating a lot better which is definitely helping things! I had an incentive as I am giving blood for the first time in a month and want to be healthy for that congrats! you seem to be typing much happier also. =) Link to comment
jeepman41 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 congrats! you seem to be typing much happier also. =) Hang in there HoilPoli, things are going to get better. I went 230 days of complete NC and messed it up by accident. Obviously I still had her number in my phone but apparently she still had mine. And she was quick to reply. I remember when we were going together I would get a text from her and it would set my heart to racing. That didn't happen the other day when I realized it was her. Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 She's live on FB! I want to chat at her so bad right now! Gahhhhhh! Time off, time off, time off, time off, time off.... Link to comment
HoliPoli Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 She's live on FB! I want to chat at her so bad right now! Gahhhhhh! Time off, time off, time off, time off, time off.... No don't look! Log off! (Is that what "time off" means?) It's killing me to not look where I know I'll find him, but I promised myself. I must regain power. Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 No don't look! Log off! (Is that what "time off" means?) It's killing me to not look where I know I'll find him, but I promised myself. I must regain power. Heh, I meant "I must take time off from her." But yeah, I shoulda logged off long ago, and should definitely not be on chat at all for the rest of the day! Link to comment
carrie8484 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 DAY 30 NC I just nearly broke NC after seeing he had deleted our holiday photos from FB god im burning with anger right now Im pretty sure he's done it because of a new girl i hate him Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Well done carrie for making it to 30 days!!!! Don't break nc when you've got so far! Thanks holipoli for the congrats, I hope that you are doing ok on your journey of healing We are all here for you Link to comment
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