Karianne Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Break up: September 10th Will start day 1 tomorrow... Dear Ex, Why do I torture myself like this? Today I went to see a counselor for the first time, to help me cope with this. This is a great idea, I should've done this earlier when I was falling into depression in the summer. If only you knew that you were the reason you sent me over the edge, the person who helped me see that I need to be happy for myself. Unfortunately, you had to break up with me in order for me to see this. I don't know who you are to me anymore. It hurts so much because you are a stranger now. You have changed a lot, even though it seems like only I can see it. You don't talk to me the same way. You still give subtle affections, but I know if you really loved me they'd be full blown. I can't be your doormat any longer. I refuse to be on your hook. I love you, but I need to heal. The old you would've been okay with that. The old you would've even encouraged it. I don't think you even care anymore. Maybe in your eyes, you are throwing me a bone. No more. Link to comment
Ac0rn Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Well, replied to repeated calls and texts today with a single text message. Guess I'm starting NC over tomorrow. Went on two separate 5 day NC runs but I need to just keep going without any response now. BU: September 30th Link to comment
brandnewday47 Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Day two.. should be fun! Link to comment
unkown1921 Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 nc day 15 nothing new to post really i just keep my mind occupied pretty much, and everytime i do think of her i keep telling myself that she isnt the same person she used to be. dont really have too many friends now (mutual friends took her side) you guys are now my new friends you guys have helped me with this breakup more than my other friends have anyways Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Day 7 I know I shouldn't have you on skype but I can't help but notice that you always come online when I do....I sooooooooooo want to talk to you...I can't delete you because I'm still hoping you'll talk to me....I will not give in Link to comment
Melting Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Day 2 again. BU 1st Sept. It is getting better, of course I have my sad days, but I am not sad cos I don't have him. I am sad cos I let myself get hurt again and I feel alone in the world. As time passes I realise that I just mean't nothing to him, when we first broke up those thoughts killed me, now I can think of them and almost blow them off. Life is getting better, I just fall down a hole now and then. Link to comment
AJ2118 Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 BU: September 3rd NC: Day 17 I went out with girlfriends last night to the bar that K and I used to frequent. I was very nervous and anxious to go, but I had made the promise to my girlfriend to be there. I know that I shouldn't have, but I messaged a mutual friend and asked him to find out where K was that night. He wasn't coming to the bar so I loosened up and actually had a really fun time. Laying in bed last night, I was tempted to break NC, but I didn't. I told myself that if he wanted me, he would have to come get me. I'm sticking to NC!! Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 day 8 Why can't I stop thinking about you? It doesn't help that I'm feeling really ill right now eugh Link to comment
Melting Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Day 3 again BU 1st Sept. Had a positive day yesterday, falling in a little rut today. Hopefully as the day progresses I will feel better. Wondering if you will ever actually be removed from my life, every where I go there are memories, we have the same friends. I still see you walking through my office door everyday...... I see you in my kitchen. I hope they fade soon. Link to comment
somethngwrng Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Broke up Oct 7. Had first meaningful contact since break up last night. She led me on, told me she loves me. Today she took it back claiming she only said it out of habit. Didn't respond, received a garbage message about a broken attachment 5 hours later. I blocked her from Facebook/Skype/Gmail and am doing HARD NC. I am not responding to anything anymore. Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 day 9 would really really like the cuddles right now.... Link to comment
Melting Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Day 4 BU 1st Sept. I know that I should have done NC from the beginning, now it is almost 2mths on and I only feel a little better. I set myself back and need to learn from this. Link to comment
Tomuch2hope Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Day 30 Day 30???? How the hell am I still hanging on without calling her I don't know. Maybe I'm stronger than I thought! Seen a few of her extended family... Waved 'hello' to them and the returned the greeting. The thing is, I'm not sure they would have if I hadn't first... Missing her is one thing, but been treated like an outcast by people I've know for more then 10yrs is a bit much. Why do I feel like they think I'm somehow gulty of something awful Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 day 10 going to go to the gym and listen to some songs and work through this....pretty sure that will make me feel better plus starting my new healthy regime Link to comment
Aleina2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 BU 14 Oct Felt urge to call him yesterday but had deleted his number and (luckily) I never learnt it by heart. I chatted him on FB instead (now disabled). He was firm in his decision and said he's said he's sorry to hurt me. Made him promise to call me in a weeks time. Pathetic I know, knowing myself it's the only way I can stop contacting him for a week. I hate myself. Link to comment
Tomuch2hope Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 I'm sure there is already lots written about this on here, but whats the dumpers view on NC............... Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Hmm good question maybe try posting it as a separate thread to get more answers Link to comment
loulou37 Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 BU beginning sept...LC, 3 times initiated by me, so we could meet to talk...we met Tuesday 18th but he didn't want to reconcile...so i guess this it for me Day 4 no contact...it's been the easiest day this week!! Link to comment
madine Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Day 37. Like I've told so many times before I'm a member of a political association. This is relevant because it is the only connection I still have with my ex and to me it is a means of establishing new social contacts. Anyway, I hate seeing my ex, so I am relieved every time she's not present at any of our meetings or activities. However, I also do hate her being there whenever I can't because I don't want her to have the opportunity to win people over and leave me alienated. The male/female ratio at local departement is off and she is kind of the only girl, which already gives her the edge amongst all these young - mostly single - guys. Today was exciting as a national celebrity and successful entrepreneur contacted our local department to set up a HUGE event. If we pull this of it's going to be something our whole country will be watching. Because of these developments two meetings have been scheduled next week... and I'll miss both of 'em because of exams and a trip abroad The week after we have another meeting planned and people from the national organisation will be coming over for a visit. Amongst them is a really cute girl I'd love to get to know better. Again, my ex will probably be present. And to make matters worst sleeping arrangements will have to be made to accommodate these people and I am sure my ex will volunteer. You see where this is leading? Any thoughts? Link to comment
jeepman41 Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I'm sure there is already lots written about this on here, but whats the dumpers view on NC............... If you are the dumpee and you initiate NC at the end of the breakup you are basically turning the tables on the person who dumped you. NC is implemented to heal but it puts things in perspective. It allows the person who broke up with you to realize what life is like without you. Link to comment
Melting Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I can no longer post here, as I will not be able to do NC. My ex will be starting work with me shortly and I can't do NC at work, therefore all the rules are broken. It saddens me as I had hope to move on slowly with NC and also for the fact that now I have no where to post! Link to comment
madine Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Nothing new today, but I've reached 38 days of NC, that's a new personal record. Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Ok so I broke nc last night...but that's because something really funny happened and I couldn't help but tell him about it...but I'm moving back to nc AGAIN! but doing the 90 step program going to try and not go on facebook at all too I'm scared if I deactivate it though I won't be able to get it back...so I'm just going to block the page on my computer I may still have him on skype...but he doesn't go on it anymore anyway so it's no big deal plus....not going to lie am hoping if we can't get back together in the future the very least we might be able to have a friendly chat every now and again...I'm a lot better than I was now that it has been 4 months, it's still hard and gets me sometimes but it's not all consuming and I know that I am responsible for my happiness and all the things I do and that is very empowering, I know that he's the one who lost here not me Link to comment
Tomuch2hope Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 How I made it through yesterday without breaking NC is anyones guess........ Link to comment
Aleina2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 BU 17 October his team won today, sent him an email congratulating him on the win. 5 words in totaly. guess not doing NC at the mo. still hoping he'll call next week. if he does, as he promised he would, ill be ok. maybe be the last time we speak on the phone as i will not do any pleading. am hoping ill be strong enough and not pick up the phone, but since i asked him to call, he'll prob thim am crazy. or more likely he won't call at all, problem solved. ill be devasted but how would that be different to this? Link to comment
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