RitaTrue Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Day 55 (same day) Dear Ex, I listened to your voicemail, again. And for some reason the sound of your voice comforted me like a hot shower on an icy morning. When I heard your voice, it gave me a flashback of when we used to cuddle in the cold, and you'd speak to me in a special way. Too bad you're not the One. Too bad you're going away. Too bad you'll never love me just the way I am. We actually could've had something together, but I realize that as long as you think I can improve and be "better", it'll never work out in the long-run. Link to comment
Lostlove26 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I know there will be good days ad bad however I hope i start to have more good than bad. Today was a good day I thought about you as little as I could. Now I lay in my bed and I think to myself why do I still think about how you are and why I still want to at least get a txt hello or how are you. It seems those 2 and a half years meant very little to you. I know you have someone to I guess take your mind off of me a it's easier for you to forget right now i just hope there comes a time where you find my cards to you and pictures of us in that box that i put them in because I would always put away things and just maybe realize how much i cared for you. For now I hope I can stay strong and keep my faith or else I don't think this wound will mend. I hate that you've prolly forgotten me... Link to comment
mecastillo1987 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 BU: Sept 8 LIC: Oct 4 NC: 2nd day I finally sent you a Goodbye letter, to try and help myself move on... But why am I still worrying if I just screwed my chances with you in the future? I know I'm not supposed to think this, but I keep wondering how you feel... how you are... and what you're thinking. Link to comment
mecastillo1987 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 It's been a long month. I know I hurt you beyond measure. I've been truly remorseful. I can't help but think: Have you moved on, finally? If not, have you decided to keep TRYING to move on even when it hurts? I know true love is in setting you free, but it hurts too much. Link to comment
Melting Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Day 10 BU 1st Sept. As long as I don't come accross any memories of him, I am doing ok. He is still randomly contacting me with his sweet words, but actions speak louder then words and I know he doesn't want me back.... maybe he is just lonely. Link to comment
madine Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 3 weeks Had a meeting with fellow board members of my local political organisation. I've accepted a position on the board two weeks back. Tonight we were making a list of members who were willing to become more active and one of the guys on the board said my ex had told him she wanted to do so. ARGH! The two of us were members of two organisations, this political one and a student association. I terminated my membership of the latter so we wouldn't have to be around each other anymore. So it annoys me that's not enough for her. I know she has enough stuff going on without this, so why does she suddenly want to become an active member? It's only to force me out of the other one too by making me feel uncomfortable. I am sure of it. Well, next activity for our members is planned for the 17th, so I've got another end to my NC streak to look forward to Link to comment
unkown1921 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 BU:sep 14 NC:sep 24 well today was going to be the 11th day of nc but she called me yesterday to pick up some stuff, then she asked if she could borrow something from me and i told her yes that i would have a mutual friend bring it by but she said i could bring it over. so i guess today will have to be day 1 again. besides that its already a bit easier getting over her, now i understand while people go nc i will keep it up. Link to comment
In the Midst Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Day 23 of NC It has been rough the past couple of days. Depression has definitely set in. It makes it worse because I really did not do right by her and she still wanted me but I couldn't commit. I know it will pass, God willing. But I definitely can see the pathology that set off these chain of events. I am alot more humble and definitely have grown over the past few months. After all that she still wanted to befriend me on FB, I painfully had to ignore it. I can tell I have grown because although I would like her to be happy with me, I don't want her experiencing a painful break just to get her back. We both acknowledge that we were the most compatible with each other. Sometimes timing is everything in fact it is the only thing. Well have a trip planned this weekend that I will use to help in the healing process. I miss her....... Link to comment
mecastillo1987 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Day 3 of NC BU Sept 8 One more day, and it's already a month since we've broken up... And here I am starting all over again with the 3 months! I hope you remember the good times, despite the hurt. I miss you so much. Link to comment
madine Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Day 22 Had to park in our old street, had to walk past our old house. Hurts like heck. Link to comment
AJ2118 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Day 4 So I've been following this forum for a while, and I've been trying so hard to stick to NC but all I want to do is talk to him. We lived together for 2 years and he moved out a month ago. Left everything. Only took his clothes and bathroom stuff. So I know that he will come back at some point, but I'm terrified it will be to collect the rest of his things. We went to lunch on Monday (I sent him a text inviting him and expected him to say no, but he said, "sounds good".) Lunch was good, but I felt like I was being held at arms length. He gave me a hug goodbye (awkward as well) and that was that. Now, I haven't heard from him since. One of his friends is trying very hard to get him and I to hang out and all my guy says is, "maybe" but then I haven't received any contact. His birthday is next week and I know where he plans to be on Saturday to celebrate. Part of me wants to just "show up" but part of me knows that I may not get the reaction I'm hoping for. I haven't decided what I want to do, but I know for now, I AM NOT CONTACTING HIM. He will need to contact me. Link to comment
Melting Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 BU 1st Sept I have been trying to convince myself that NC wasn't broken when you contacted me, but it was. So, I am back to Day 5 again. I really need to focus on me and my family, you are no longer part of my life. I went out last night and got extremely drunk, almost sent a txt........... Sooooooooooooooo glad when I woke this morn that I hadn't sent anything. Its a nice day outside, I will do something nice with my children. Link to comment
unkown1921 Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 BU:sep 14 NC day 2 its getting a lot easier to not think about her, when i saw her the other day she seemed like a completely different person.idk if shes trying to make excuses to see me but now i dont care anymore. shes not the same person i fell in love with. Link to comment
Lostlove26 Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Thinking if i should go out and get wasted again or not... weekends are the worst because i remember waking up next to you on the morning weekends, and just cuddle.... I really want to unblock you on fb but i know ill c photos if u and her and as much as i want to know what your doing it prolly would hurt like hell so it's better not to know. Link to comment
mecastillo1987 Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Day 4 of NC BU Sept 8 Haven't slept a wink since yesterday, and it was my Banking Laws exam today. I couldn't study at all, and had to cheat off my friend most of the time. The pain has been too excruciating these past few days. I was able to put myself in your shoes since last night the moment you left me, and I could tell you truly don't deserve the person I was back then... I know I screwed up, but I will love you forever. Link to comment
In the Midst Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 DAY 25 I am experiencing this tightness and weird feeling around my heart. I have heard grief and heartache can manifest physically. Can anyone else bear witness to this? Sometimes, I am good, but it just seems that I can't get her out of my mind. I so want to communicate with her but know it would set off a chain of events that would not be good. I am just going to ride it out until my relief comes. I have learned a valuable lesson about your head and heart being one when you make a decision. Damn, I miss her. Link to comment
RitaTrue Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Day 4 His birthday is next week and I know where he plans to be on Saturday to celebrate. Part of me wants to just "show up" but part of me knows that I may not get the reaction I'm hoping for. I haven't decided what I want to do, but I know for now, I AM NOT CONTACTING HIM. He will need to contact me. Hi AJ, You are right. He will need to come to you. If you show up at his party, not only can that kill his party (if he's not ready to meet you), but you could also make him more distant from you, whether or not he was planning to come back. The best thing you can do is give him space. The more you chase after him, the more he'll run away. Link to comment
RitaTrue Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 --Day 58-- I feel like an ass. There's a guy that wants to go out on a date. But is it bad to not go out with someone--even on a date--just because you're not attracted? I've been talking to some other guys. It helps me to focus on ME, instead of Mr. Ex. Also, I'm re-learning how to show guys I'm interested, as sad as that is to say, hahaha. Im learning that shyness does have perks in dating. For instance, at least with me, shyness helps me strive for a deep conversation with someone that I'm actually interested in, and keeps people at bay that I'm NOT. I doubt I'll talk to most of these guys again. They're moreso for fun, and a few, for interesting friendship. Link to comment
Melting Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Back to Day 1 again BU 1st Sept... He sent me a mean txt last night, because I didn't invite him to a mutual friends going away. I was that stupid I replied.. So, the only person I have failed is ME! Link to comment
mecastillo1987 Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Day 5 of NC BU Sept 8 Trying REALLY HARD to strike the balance between hoping for a reconciliation in the future, and letting you go completely. I don't want to be selfish, but at the same time... I know I can give back so much more. I hope one of these days, you let me in your heart again... and let the good memories come flooding through. Link to comment
unkown1921 Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 BU:sep 14 NC day 4 i have mixed feeling about her, i keep thinking im over her then out of nowhere miss her and wish i was still with her. i know theres no chance of reconciliation (she left me for someone else) and she acts like a different person but i cant stop loving her. Link to comment
jolbell69 Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 BU 3rd July 9 weeks NIC and LC 1 day NC Confession time.... I broke NC last night on my 28th day and sent him a very simple text saying: "I miss you!!". I wasn't drunk, but I was out with a friend and feeling sentimental. I have received no response, nor did I expect one. I feel ok about it - I don't regret sending it. Our BU was very dignified and we both still love eachother, so I had nothing to lose. Start NC again today. Another confession... I kissed someone last night and it is the first contact I have had with another guy since me and my ex split up. I actually felt guilty like I was being unfaithful. I really enjoyed the attention from this person, and the kissing was sensational. He wants to see me again, but I don't know. I'm not ready for anything and he's much younger than me. Link to comment
Hastyhand Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 It`s been 1 month of NC today. It`s her birthday in 4 days and I`m not going to wish her anything that day. Feelsgoodman.jpg Link to comment
Lostlove26 Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Its been 3 months and I have the urge to txt you that I miss you again. The last time I txt you I got no response and I ended up pretending that I didn't miss you and txted you that You hurt me so much and you never deserved me in the first place. I just wonder what you thought when I txted you that. I have to fight my urge this will be the first month that I won't txt you I have to do this even though sometimes it tears me up inside. Link to comment
Melting Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Day 1 again BU 1st Sept. You have been making contact and want to cook me dinner. The sad part is my feelings will never be the same again. Very confused right now. Link to comment
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