THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[SHINK]

Heck I am back in the challenge. They say third time's the charm?

 

Day 1!!

 

What happened to cause you to reset, ma'am?

[ceallach]

Day 4

 

Yep mornings are the worst. It really feels like the hardest thing to do to drag yourself out of bed and get ready to face the world, when you're consumed with so much pain. I am thankful i have work to go to though, it does help make my day easier. Dreading next week, got no work until September and have to start looking for somewhere else to live. Oh well, one day at a time.

 

Really had to resist the urge to email him today. Miss him so so much.

[Irishguy1125]

Got on facebook today, saw she changed her relationship status to single, that was exciting to see...I guess i was the one who said we should slow things down and just focus on being friends, which would mean we were out of a relationship right now. My heart still sank seeing it, day 6 tomorrow.

[lostnscared]

Day 20.

 

I wrote a fake letter to you and it made me feel better. I've decided that everyday I'm going to write you fake pretend letters--acting as if I will eventually send them out, even though I won't. It was very theraputic and thinking about your response made me happy.

 

Woke up this morning with panic attacks again. Ugh. Mornings and nights are the worse.

[wildestkabs]

Woke up this morning with panic attacks again. Ugh. Mornings and nights are the worse.

 

Wow! I thought I was the only one, though with me, those panic attacks are more around the middle of the night and I wake up completely uneasy and restless and so want to call her but I can't.

[lostnscared]

Wow! I thought I was the only one, though with me, those panic attacks are more around the middle of the night and I wake up completely uneasy and restless and so want to call her but I can't.

 

 

Me too. They've happened religiously every night around 4:00 AM or 6:00 AM I begin panicking, remembering the break up, feeling desperate, shaky, racing thoughts.

 

I can't wait until it ends.

[wildestkabs]

Me too. They've happened religiously every night around 4:00 AM or 6:00 AM I begin panicking, remembering the break up, feeling desperate, shaky, racing thoughts.

 

I can't wait until it ends.

 

Mine usually wake me up around 1 am - 2 am. I don't have them every night though, but when I do, they are really nasty. Heart is racing like crazy, chest feels incredibly stuffy, I feel like I need to call 911 (though I haven't) coz I feel like I am having a heart attack or something, breathless, the crazy stuff. Though I don't have any specific thoughts crossing my head, I do have a very very strong urge to call her because I know the moment I hear her voice, everything is going to be normal. But I can't.

 

End it already!

[kennyc90]

Day 4

 

I didn't really think of her a lot today because I purposely tried to keep myself busy. When I got home from work, I took a 4 hour nap because I had to work really late last night. After my nap, I went to the movies with my friends. I won't lie, during the movie, I was thinking about the times when I went to the movies with her and pictured myself cuddling and holding her hand. That was the only hard part, other than that, it wasn't too bad. When I got home, I went to do my favorite hobby which is hip hop dancing. It's really the only way I can keep my mind off of her when I'm alone and also working out

[kennyc90]

I usually think of my ex A LOT when I wake up. It's really painful and I don't know why my emotions are at it's highest when I wake up.. weird.

[kennyc90]

Day 4

 

Yep mornings are the worst. It really feels like the hardest thing to do to drag yourself out of bed and get ready to face the world, when you're consumed with so much pain. I am thankful i have work to go to though, it does help make my day easier. Dreading next week, got no work until September and have to start looking for somewhere else to live. Oh well, one day at a time.

 

Really had to resist the urge to email him today. Miss him so so much.

Hey! Day 4 like me!! Hehe we should stick together Everyday I also get this temptation that I want to send my ex an email or text message or even see her facebook, even though she deleted me off he friends list. I just want to say sorry to her every single day, but I know that one time should be enough and I also told her that I will never write her another email again. I hope I get to see her someday again...

[TSandullo]

Day 196 I guess.

 

So, yesterday I graduated. Ex sent me a message at night congratulating me.

I replied politely.

 

And then I removed her as a friend from facebook.

Should have done that months ago.

 

As my presumptions on her being in a relationship with the other guy materializes further, I have no intention in being part of her life, period.

 

After out 'scouting' lunch next month and then a group dinner in sept, I plan of leaving her life for good.

 

I entered university meeting my first love.

And now as I leave, I leave behind my first love.

 

TC all and happy healing, growing, having fun!

 

TS

[brandnewday47]

5 weeks today! Might have to have a few drinks tonight

[Irishguy1125]

Day 6 here, morning was really tough, felt really depressed, probably wasn't a good idea to be up until 2 am talking to a friend about her and what to do to get her back when i had to get up for work at 8. hmm, hopefully it gets better. FYI Brandnewday47, love your seinfeld quote, funny it was one of the first things I thought about when we broke up, "oh, seinfeld says it takes a few times to break up so maybe this isn't all that bad" haha

[brandnewday47]

... love your seinfeld quote, funny it was one of the first things I thought about when we broke up, "oh, seinfeld says it takes a few times to break up so maybe this isn't all that bad" haha

 

Ha, yeah I set that just to inject a bit of humor and maybe a smile when needed. Thanks!

 

Oh and yeah, I've done the staying up late at night till the early hours in the morning and still having to get to work. Funny (or not so funny) thing is most of those days I still had no problem waking up as my anxiety alarm clock took care of that with ease.

[Animelover6764]

Day 6 or 7

 

Feeling ok

[Eddie37]

Day 28. Has not been a great day. I cried. I miss her. This sucks because logically I know that she was a disaster, a horrible gf and a horrible fiance. She offered me very little other than a pretty face and lots of sex. Emotionally she offered nothing to me. In terms of love, she simply didn't know how...even though she would say she loved me numerous times a day. We didn't communicate, not because we both weren't willing but because she was simply on a different level than me, emotionally and maturity-wise. She simply was unable to relate to me...that wasn't her fault or mine. I hate the fact that I'm still holding onto some hope that she will call and want to get back together. I hate holding onto her like this!!! I need to let her go...but I can't.

[ceallach]

Hey! Day 4 like me!! Hehe we should stick together Everyday I also get this temptation that I want to send my ex an email or text message or even see her facebook, even though she deleted me off he friends list. I just want to say sorry to her every single day, but I know that one time should be enough and I also told her that I will never write her another email again. I hope I get to see her someday again...

 

I know how you feel...it's taken every ounce of my willpower not to email him. It really is a battle between my head and my heart. My heart is screaming "Just do it! If you don't try you'll never know. You've got nothing more to lose" but my head is saying " Yes you have - your dignity. You have to let him go". I'm completely torn, even though i know for both our sakes just letting go is probably for the best. But it's the 'probably' that bothers me. The what ifs. I've always told myself that it's better to regret something you have done rather than something you haven't. I don't want to look back on this and regret not having tried my best to fix us. But i also don't want to look back and blame myself for pushing him away.

 

Anyway, Day 5 for me. I don't know if i have broken NC, think i have, maybe someone could clarify - received an email from him and read it. It was quite polite, basically asking me if i had decided what i was going to do about our living situation. We live in his mum's house. She lives abroad and we pay rent to her. He has moved to his brother's house and originally said he'd give me two weeks to move out. I told him that i wasn't going to be rushed out of the house. I don't start my new job till september so can't afford to move out. Haven't replied to the email and not going to. Have i broke NC? Do i have to start again?

[FrostPanther425]

I am starting with Day 1 all over again. This past day has been terrible. She basically told me she wasn't sure if I was mature or old enough to be in a serious relationship. I replied saying that her heart would know who to turn to and to contact me when she was sure. Ended the email as Love, ____ and that was a day ago. I want to send her an email proving I am mature, even though it is a stupid idea since there is no way to prove that.

 

I realize why we kept getting into fights before about big purchases I had made or bad decisions I had made. It was because she saw me as a guy who was bad with money and didn't take things seriously. I have always known that to a certain extent, but this is the first time I have ever felt it affect me really. For the next month I am going to work on being a mature individual, maybe something will change.

 

Every cell in my body wants to email or talk with her, but I have to wait since I can't convince her to be my girl again.

[wildestkabs]

I usually think of my ex A LOT when I wake up. It's really painful and I don't know why my emotions are at it's highest when I wake up.. weird.

 

Same here. When I get up is usually when I miss her the most and when it is most depressing. And for some reason, it is more depressing when I get up from like an afternoon nap, vs regular sleep during the night.

[SHINK]

A week ago I contacted her, so I guess this would be day 6.

 

I've been dreaming about her, which is weird--for years, I almost never dreamed. I don't know if it has to do with the fact that I'm going to bed/waking up earlier like daywalkers do or what. I wake up with the same sort of things on my mind some of you folks seem to. I would love to wake up and go through a day with no thought of her, but at very least, it's going more smoothly now. I think about her, feel loss, but don't really cry or anything. I randomly smile from time to time if a memory pops into my head. I cried just a little bit ago as I wrote a 'note' on Facebook. It was a letter 'to her' that she won't end up seeing. Someone here mentioned that as an idea, something to heal with, so I did. I let out my thoughts and feelings, and the intensity, the complete focus on those memories made me cry for the first time in nearly two weeks.

 

I really badly want to break no contact. I want to just talk happily with her. I want to know how she is, how's she's feeling, and let her know the same. I'm getting to a point where I don't see the harm in maybe breaking this no contact, but since I'm unsure, I guess I'll stick with it for now.

[wildestkabs]

So today is day 30 NC for me Wow! It's been a month since I spoke with her last. Wonder if she even thinks about me? Wonder if she is still with that guy?

 

Clearly, I haven't moved on..not yet..

[Eddie37]

Congrats on day 30, wildestkabs. You may not be over her yet but you're sure on your way there. Good job...stay strong! Day 30 is on Saturday for me.

[brandnewday47]

So today is day 30 NC for me Wow! It's been a month since I spoke with her last.

 

Congrats on 30!

[wildestkabs]

Thanks Eddie and brandnewday47 I do sometimes feel though, that keeping track of each and every day of NC hurts rather than helps the process of healing. It's almost like you are consciously reminding yourself of one more day without the ex and therefore, in the process, remembering her again.

[Eddie37]

You're going to remember her whether you keep track of your days or not. There will come a time when you won't remember her so much and you'll stop counting the days. We're not there yet...but we will be.