THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[JoshHimself]

Day 9

 

Well it was somewhat better, I slept alot it could be the pain killers, or it could be I was just numb to everything today. I mean I have so much on my mind. It seems like everything is out of my control, even the simpliest things, it seems like I cant trust anyone. And anyone I've called a friend isnt really a friend unless your up. And right now Im pretty down. I wish I could be more active, more up beat but its rough when you keep getting smacked and thrown around inside. I hate the fact that Im so naive to things, and blind. But maybe its because I truly loved her, and would see past any flaws to see the good. I hate the fact I would walk to the end of the earth just to have her in my arms again. I hate the fact that I would give up everything just to have her lips against mine.I hate the fact that I'd swallow every bit of my pride for her to be the 1st thing I see when I wake. I hate the fact that I would give my last breath to her, just so you could tell me I love you. I wish I could tell you these things, but I know right now isnt the time. I just hope you know I love you.

 

Emotional day again sorry. It gets worst at night, just like being sick. So in closing to my venting tonight I'm going to leave some lyrics that mean something to me.

 

What if I wanted to break

Laugh it all off in your face

What would you do?

 

What if I fell to the floor

Couldn't take all this anymore

What would you do, do, do?

 

Come break me down

Marry me, bury me

I am finished with you

 

What if I wanted to fight

Beg for the rest of my life

What would you do?

 

You say you wanted more

What are you waiting for?

I'm not running from you

 

Come break me down

Marry me, bury me

I am finished with you

 

Look in my eyes

You're killing me, killing me

All I wanted was you

 

I tried to be someone else

But nothing seemed to change

I know now, this is who I really am inside

 

Finally found myself

Fighting for a chance

I know now, this is who I really am

 

Come break me down

Marry me, bury me

I am finished with you, you, you

 

Look in my eyes

You're killing me, killing me

All I wanted was you

 

Come, break me down

Break me down

Break me down

 

What if I wanted to break?

What if I, what if I, what if I

Bury me, bury me

[Flint_Wood]

Day 16

 

Seriously relapsing, last week I was so optimistic and barely thought about her (you know, every ten minutes instead of every second). This morning I was doing my interval training and pretty much just collapsed... all my drive just left me and in that moment, I just wanted to give up on everything... It's been a long time since I've ever felt like that, and it terrifies me.

 

I still finished all my excercises, I'm still putting on a happy face, I'll always push through. I have no plans scheduled for tonight, which is rare. I got a couple new phone numbers, I'll give one of them a call and see if either is free to go for a walk tonight.

[brazilgirl21]

Day 10. Relapsing as well.

 

I was seeing this other guy but these days I completely lost interest. I think he noticed because he hasn't been contacting me as often. I just really don't want to date other people.

 

Work is horrible. I just can't concentrate and the hours seem to pass SO slowly.

 

I might see him on Saturday, which is making me very anxious. One of our friend's going away party.

 

I have to admit that the possibility of seeing him on the weekend is giving me strenght, but, also making me terrified.

[yogi]

Day 10. Relapsing as well.

 

I was seeing this other guy but these days I completely lost interest. I think he noticed because he hasn't been contacting me as often. I just really don't want to date other people.

 

Work is horrible. I just can't concentrate and the hours seem to pass SO slowly.

 

I might see him on Saturday, which is making me very anxious. One of our friend's going away party.

 

I have to admit that the possibility of seeing him on the weekend is giving me strenght, but, also making me terrified.

 

Just start seeing people when you're ready. Sometimes you can kinda force a start by easing into online (link removed is good) dating. Then you can set up a few dinner meetings a week, where it's just dinner and meeting someone new. It'll get you back in practice. But only when you're ready.

 

Maybe you should hold off on seeing him until you're less terrified? Then you'll be more whole. I mean, unless you think he's going to announce his big mistake and get on bended knee.

 

I'm not ready either. 14 days of no contact and I don't feel he'll ever contact me again either. But I'm getting more and more used to the idea. I kinda wished I hadn't completely closed the door on him but I think he was glad he did. After I contacted him after I told him to not contact me, he began to ignore me. Then my phone broke and lost all possible messages. Yay.

[wildestkabs]

Officially day 1 of NC today.

[honeyspur]

30 seconds to Mars - nice one

 

Day 9

 

I hate the fact that Im so naive to things, and blind. But maybe its because I truly loved her, and would see past any flaws to see the good. I hate the fact I would walk to the end of the earth just to have her in my arms again. I hate the fact that I would give up everything just to have her lips against mine.I hate the fact that I'd swallow every bit of my pride for her to be the 1st thing I see when I wake.

 

 

Beautifully said - I know where you are coming from. The gut wrenching nights I spent - the realization I would probably never see him again - the knowledge that if I found someone new, yes I may love them, it may be rewarding - but it would be different. That difference is painful.

And yes - the nights are UGLY.

 

For me it helped that he didn't really have all the electronic pleasantries that are so common now. He was a poor boy - so no computer, no cell phone. No car and he left my circle of friends. I was cut off bigtime. So I was forced to get through it and got through that first month flawlessly. It really helped having not one single trigger.

 

Keep somewhere in the back of your mind, pride in yourself for this ability to love and trust so deeply. Allow yourself the right to love again when that time comes. Be torn up - be angry - be frustrated. You deserve to Josh. You paid some dues in this relationship.

 

I know it's hard to believe - but she may be going through the same thing. She really could. I don't know her but the girl side to her I know - and we do feel guilt for the fights we are in. We have pride too and can be a victim to our pride.

 

I must tell you again how well you put this whole experience into words - you have a way with them. I'm glad you're here.

 

And yes, I'm a radio DJ at my local FM station - for the last 14 years.

[Flint_Wood]

Still day 16, got a drunken text from my ex. Refreshing to know I'm still on her mind... Makes me wonder how to react though... Stick to NC.

 

I only have the upcoming Sunday where I don't have any plans scheduled. Need to resist the urge to try and make plans with my ex. the rest of the 30 days are booked solid.

[DeenasRhino]

Day 11.

Thought of you a lot today, more than I should have and more than I wanted to.

 

I laid in my bed and tried to take a nap but bam you popped into my head right before I fell asleep so I had to get up and go back downstairs.

 

It's fine, I'm glad we broke up and it's only going to get better with time.

[abigheart]

I don't remember what the full-on NC day I'm on is, but I've reached something like Day 52 now of almost full NC (facebook checking was a weakness in the first month, but I've been good and have not checked in the last 1.5-2 weeks!

 

I am so proud of myself, and I find myself feeling better. I think it's because there are good things happening for me. I graduated college, I just got hired for my first real job 2 days ago (phew! the bad economy didn't prevent me from finding one) and I have a feeling if I just keep up NC and focus on what's important, I'll be in a good place.

 

Now and then, it's hard. It's hard knowing he has no desire to contact me EVEN though I announced NC. That and wondering how he's feeling. I'm sure he's doing a lot better than I am.

 

So I guess right now, dealing with NC has been pretty easy - I have no urges to contact him. The hardest part is missing him.

[JoshHimself]

Day 10

 

Well, I got a text from her, I didnt message her back. It took me alot not to. I mean I miss her more then I've ever missed anything in my life. It made me sick, I dont know why, its like a whirlwind of emotions, that I cant explain. It made me happy for a slight second, then it pissed me off even more. Like why go all this time, like why not try and love me back? I dont understand her anymore. And I guess It'll have to be that way. I think she still loves me, but I'm not sure. I mean was she just mad, did she want to vent on me? Im nothing but her punching bag anymore, did she just want to tell me she loved me? Who knows because I sure dont. I get so sad sitting here thinking about her. I miss my lover, but more importantly I miss my friend, my best friend. The person I can share everything in the world with. The person I want to give the world to. I just wish she would make this pain go away, send it somewhere else. I remember the times I was happy, but anymore it seemed like she just wanted to dwell on the bad things. The things I've done to make her mad, sad, and not stand me anymore. What about all of the good things I've done? When no one else was by your side, when you had a scare with cancer, who was there with tears in his eyes too? Why forget about the great guy I am to focus on my flaws. Why am I crazy about you? When your nothing but crazy to me? Why can't I forget about you? I'm broken because of you, I dont want to know what love is without you. I want to be there hold your hand, make you happy when you are sad, I wanna grow old with you(Thanks Sandler). I guess I'm easy, its not hard to figure me out when my heart is on my sleave. Maybe one day you'll know what you've gave up on, the one person who see's you in the angelic light. The one who will forgive anything. The one who will break his back to make you the happiest person in the world. Maybe one day you will. Will it be too late then? I love you, goodnight. I'll pray that your fine.

 

Im done venting, thank you Faith No More for my soundtrack tonight!

[SocialStigma]

Day 4 of NC, day 6 since the breakup

 

Yesterday was really, really hard. I came so close to contacting you after the earthquake. But I didn't, and I'm glad I didn't. I know you went out clubbing last night. I wonder if you really had fun and you're happy or if you're just trying to distract yourself.

 

You asked my best friend how I was doing yesterday. I don't know how to take that. You must know that she was going to tell me. Does that mean you want to know how I'm doing so badly that you would resort to asking my best friend, or that you want her to let me know so that I'll think you care?

[brazilgirl21]

Day 11!!

 

Yogi - Thanks so much for your advice! I am really not into online dating. I live in Brazil and people are still reluctant about it here. I am very social and live in a city as huge as New York so luckily I meet people very often. I'm just NOT ready to give up on the ex yet. BUT, I am still talking to the other guy and he is still being adorable. So I am trying to maintain contact... who knows right? My ex might never come back. I have to try to move on.

 

I am going to the party because I really care about my friend who is leaving the country. And also, my break-up was very amicable, mellow... I don't think the encounter will be dramatic. We had an on/off relationship for 1 year but we never got TOO close for things to become dramatic. That's why I feel like there is still so much hope for us. It's a weird feeling.

 

I'm very anxious about Saturday. My best friend might not be able to make it so I'll have to go alone. I dunno, maybe I will decide to not go or just drop by to say hi and leave.

[brandnewday47]

Back to day 7... Had an interesting week, turns out she got a job elsewhere and is leaving the company, which should work miracles for me ( I hope ). Apparently also thinking about moving out with her daughter to live with this guy who she started dating LD a month or so after we broke up. I sent a closure type of email after I heard she was leaving last week, then cut off all avenues of contact - except email as she still does work here. I felt that I had to do it for my own sanity. Feeling kind of empowered now.. I'm sure she won't be happy that I did this as she always found ways to "check in" on me, but too bad. She made her bed and time to sleep in it. I just wish I had the guts to do this earlier instead of deal with this slow pain process.

[wildestkabs]

Day 2 NC.

 

You know I miss you a lot. It's funny that the long distance that created a problem for us, is no longer going to be a problem anymore, since within a few months, I would be less than 10 miles from where you live.

 

But you go enjoy your new relationship with that clown. I don't care for him but as long as you are happy, I am happy.

 

NC long and strong baby, long and strong!!

[MalibuOne]

3 weeks of no contact. I wish I could say have a great time on your trip with her and actually mean it but the fact is that I hope you have a terrible time. I hope it rains all over you, followed by sweltering heat. I hope the bugs suck the life out of you, that your food spoils and you get a flat on your way home.

 

Damn! That felt good!

[DeenasRhino]

Day 12,

 

I was on the train today and a song came up and I remember why I hated you. I was pretty angry but yeah. I'm better without you.

[JoshHimself]

Day 11

 

Not much to say today. Wasnt that bad, slept alot. Thought alot of things through.

[1guygirl]

Ok day 1 NC

 

sign me up...ive done this challenge before and got through nearly 8 weeks before reconciling...now we having break as few obstacles came up, so he wants a break, hes got it. I let him know and i said after that if he doesnt wanna talk to me about relationship then im calling it a day.

 

so now the withdrawal begins....first week...argh....this is gunna be tough

[Flint_Wood]

Day 18

 

Meh.

[Kaylee2]

I'll join in!

 

Day 1

 

This feels like the hardest thing I ever done!

[mrshuma]

Went 22 days NC then broke it

 

Went another 3 days and broke it again..

 

Now on day 4 and I am not looking back, have a trip to Greece in 8 days so when I get back it will be over 75 days NC!!

 

I relapsed a couple of times but no more!! The only way I break NC now is if she comes back begging lol and even if that happens I may not take her back. I have realized what I need to do.

[erroriam]

There's no point in breaking the silence for me. I found out she likely has someone else. And her little status updates point to a happy her. I just hope she doesn't attribute her "new happy" life to getting rid of me...but it doesn't matter anymore.

[brandnewday47]

Yeah, no point in worrying about them anymore - especially if they have someone else.

 

Day 8 for me... would have been over three weeks if I didn't send a "best wishes" type of email last week. But hey.. at least I don't have to work in the same environment anymore

[curteese]

DAY 1

 

AGAIN I am starting Day 1. I contacted her last night because I happened to look at her Twitter and she posted pics of her and her new boy toy that is "just a friend". I haven't been able to go past two full days of NC. I got upset and blew up at her yesterday for her posting those pics even though it's NONE OF MY BUSINESS and I need to move on. It is Day 30 of our breakup, and I haven't been able to go NC at all. The times where I have gone 2 days without contacting her I felt GREAT and completely relieved. But, curiosity keeps getting the better of me. It is time to move on. TIME TO MOVE ON!!!

 

There is another girl that I have been talking to who is a long time friend that has been there for me throughout this breakup whom I shouldn't brush off, and is sooo much better than my ex. But my head is wrapped around my EX. TIME TO MOVE ON!!

 

Here is my thread:

 

I like this challenge, but honestly I have NO INTENTIONS of getting back together with her. Not at this point.

[Kia-Kaha]

Day 6 is almost halfway done.

 

I feel like the NC is giving me more clarity regarding our situation, but I still know that I want her to break NC and tell me that she misses me and wants to try and work things out. I doubt that call is coming any time soon though.

 

I wonder what she is doing and whether she is ok. Part of me really hopes that she is struggling with the NC, but part of me also hopes that this time apart will lead her back to me (which I am not sure it will).

 

I keep expecting my phone to ring, or an email to appear. This is the longest we have ever been without communicating since I first met her

 

This is the hardest thing I have ever done. I want to break the NC and tell her that I still love her and want her, but I have done that already and it changed nothing.

 

She has to realise what I mean to her (if anything) and want to come back and talk to me. I can';t be just friends right now, and I think that's all she needs.

 

Feel like I have become a bit addicted to this site, and talking to some of the people on here, and wonder if I am using these communications to replace talking with her and whether that means I will ever be able to move on at this rate.