THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[brownage]

**FORGOT TO POST THIS YESTERDAY

 

Rotxsen! You can't leave! I love reading your posts. But if you really think leaving ENA for a while is going to help you in your situation -- I can't stop you. I wish you the best of luck my friend.

[brownage]

Writing about it does make you feel better! I'm glad ENA is here too. My ex also left me for someone else, pretty much depressed me out -- the most I've been depressed in my life.

 

But trust me, it DOES get better. I'm still down in the slums some days but most days I'm great

 

When I initiated NC on my ex, 2 days later she tries to text and call me because she "really needed help". So the next day I find out she just wanted help with a computer virus problem. What a joke. Of all times to call me, she calls me at 3:30 in the morning, after I initiated NC and said my goodbye to her.

 

Going to the gym is good and I'm really liking it

[Rotxsen]

**FORGOT TO POST THIS YESTERDAY

 

Rotxsen! You can't leave! I love reading your posts. But if you really think leaving ENA for a while is going to help you in your situation -- I can't stop you. I wish you the best of luck my friend.

 

Well me and poetry guy here have that thinking of if we keep participating on this thread will make things harder or the website itself every sad story I read ad try to help It gets me thinking about my ex and my past indifferences so I'm thinking maybe I learned the neccesary to become a wonderful man but I feel as if I keep being here the longer will take me to move on

[Poetry Guy]

Well me and poetry guy here have that thinking of if we keep participating on this thread will make things harder or the website itself every sad story I read ad try to help It gets me thinking about my ex and my past indifferences so I'm thinking maybe I learned the neccesary to become a wonderful man but I feel as if I keep being here the longer will take me to move on

 

Amen to that. Like I said before: it's an interesting Catch-22 in my situation because on the one hand, I feel that bringing it up on a daily basis is counterproductive to my moving on process, yet at the same time I wouldn't be coming here if I didn't still have strong feelings for my ex. Perhaps the difference resides in the fact that I was the dumper, not the dumpee, and I'm not too thrilled with the hostile and hateful way she has handled this breakup. It's not in my character to burn bridges or to carry any animosity towards someone whom you love/loved.

 

In fact, I don't grasp the concept of hatred at all. If nothing else, I would like the opportunity for the two of us to end things on a more amicable note particularly as we do have many mutual friends & acquaintances involved in the picture and I don't want any disharmony among our peers. As the dumper, I'm the bad guy right now and she's the poor little innocent victim who never did anything wrong.

 

Newsflash sweetheart: it takes two to tango.

 

Day #12

 

Eh...I've summed it up pretty well with the words above. I'm meeting with a counselor/therapist today to address some of my own issues that developed as a result of the cumulative effect of extremely unlucky circumstances that my ex and I both found each other in as well as her own "deficiencies" that I've mentioned previously. I'm also tired as hell today - didn't sleep well last night because of the "chess match" going on right now between the two of us. She said in her text message that the decision to break up was mine, not hers...then went on to tell me to leave her alone so that she could get over it and move on. That kind of mixed message has left me with some uncertainty as to when to contact her, but I will at some point because as the dumper, it is my obligation to initiate that...particularly given my desire to resolve any animosity that she might currently hold towards me in relation to the things mentioned above.

 

I'll see what the therapist says, sit on it for another couple of days, and then if I initiate contact and she doesn't respond? C'est la vie.

[hater13]

ahh yes the song quotes. My ex played enough games like that with me immediately after the break up..

 

remember the song "knock you down" by keri hilson? apparently I should hear it (I've heard the song one year prior)

 

.....

[hater13]

day whatever - more then a month since break up..almost a month since NC

 

So far today's been good. I'm having really unusual dreams about my ex..nothing important or anything about reconciliation just odd dreams. I haven't dreamt about him in weeks WHY NOW

 

Anyway other then that I don't have much planned today...thinking or possibly reactivating my facebook ( i can only run from my ex for so long)

 

It seems to be break up season..a few of my friends have been broken up with and one of my ex's friends as well (that I know of)

 

Some days I want my ex back and some days I don't..I really don't know why this is. Today would be a day that I want him back

 

 

I still keep getting this weird feeling that something is going to happen ughh i hate this

 

I'm gonna go to a friends place and chill for a bit

[Rotxsen]

It seems like you going on a good way poet but like I said for me it's been half of year sometimes even within me I feel like blah it's old news or this happened a long time ago already, there's no point on bringing it up or my infamous one that made me realize I should take a break from all of this when I posted a thread about me trying to break NC and see how that will lead me and I realize I didn't do much progress so I can face her without my body shaking then again you are the dumper poet and I'm a dumpee me and you were considered the bad guys and like you I would have love to have her as a friend in the future but knowing that I think it will harm her when she's single and I'm back on the LTR with another girl I know her too well and will try to steal me away not cause of love but jealousy.

[Animelover6764]

Day 6

 

feeling good

[sighh]

Writing about it does make you feel better! I'm glad ENA is here too. My ex also left me for someone else, pretty much depressed me out -- the most I've been depressed in my life.

 

But trust me, it DOES get better. I'm still down in the slums some days but most days I'm great

 

When I initiated NC on my ex, 2 days later she tries to text and call me because she "really needed help". So the next day I find out she just wanted help with a computer virus problem. What a joke. Of all times to call me, she calls me at 3:30 in the morning, after I initiated NC and said my goodbye to her.

 

Going to the gym is good and I'm really liking it

 

Yea, working out is awesome, it helps you to take your mind off of her and think of yourself, in a very positive way. I've started working out 2 months ago aswell. I've gained about 3 kg of muscles, i'm a really skinny guy so it's very noticeable! It pleases me that i'm keeping up with my schedule and such. As far back as i can remember i never had the willpower to do so.

 

Seems like she just used an excuse to string you along a little longer.

Today i replied to the ex's sms. I kept it short. She asked me sunday how i was doing. I've only replied today. "Good." was all that i responded, she chose to not be a part of my life so she has to deal with it that i'm not giving her any attention anymore. I made the mistake of "begging" her to take me back, and i'm not going to lower myself to that point again. (I didn't really beg, i just stayed friends in the hope we could be together again. But i couldn't handle that, and i don't want to be just friends.)

 

Hehe, i'm starting to feel bad for the guy who she is dating now. He'll have a * * * * sex life, but i was able to cope with it. Because i always was thinking about the better days to come. It's funny how you try to work things out even when they can make you sad, and after the break-up you're like... * * * was i thinking?

 

I wish everyone else good luck!

[Poetry Guy]

This is my final entry in this thread...and I'm happy about that.

 

Details are here:

 

So, I broke NC and the rules of this thread stipulated that we were supposed to say how we felt afterwards...and that's what I just did up above.

 

Good luck to everyone else in their own relationship situations.

[TheJerseyKid]

stay strong, I'm at a close point to you as well. just over 4 weeks since we last saw each other, and tomorrow will be 4 weeks since the break. Basically NC the whole time with a small text convo (5 min) originally initiated by her around day 15. I too have had some weird dreams, not about getting back together, more about being broken up, lol. I won't go into specifics but I've had more pleasant dreams in my life, I just try not too make too much of them.

[Igelchen]

DAY 1: Four weeks since the breakup. I've actually been in No Contact for nearly a week, now, but time has passed and I've found myself thinking about trying to write to her again - despite the fact she made it clear this will not make her happy. I can see why it's a terrible idea from my perspective as well. It's only made me feel awful to talk to her - even though during the contact, even if she's shouting at me or insulting me, I feel better for seeing her.

 

I'm still remembering too much of what it was like to be together - and how happy she was with me until right before she left me. And the confusion between our mutual happiness right before and her determination since then that it was a huge mistake and can never work again just keeps giving me false hope. She's still the first thing I think about in the morning. Her music still goes round in my head though I've banished it from my collections. I have to accept this and move on, and I stilll haven't.

 

So now in the hope of somehow committing to this idea for longer - I swear not to write to her or contact her at all until at least June 5th.

[sighh]

No Contact will really help you out man. You'll learn how to be happy with just yourself. It's hard, especially in the beginning. But trust me. Things will get better!

 

Good luck!

[Animelover6764]

Day 7

 

meh

[BackToYou]

Day 1 accomplished.

 

I returned her sweater on sunday and yesterday she texted and thanked me for doing that. I responded politely and that was it. I don`t know if she was fishing or not but from now on she has no reason to contact me. Even though I would want get back together with her, I wish she wont try to contact me in a next few months. It`s nearly 5 months after break up and I`m still in hurt. I definitely need time to heal right now.

[Theron]

I guess it's day 14 now. We're in the same class, so it's really hard to not maintain any contact. Visual still is, sometimes I catch her staring at me. We just greet each other sometimes. Sometimes someone comes to me and tells me that she has some jealousy-like commentary to me.

 

I feel a lot better. Me and my two best friends are now making a security analysis for competition made by NATO, I've got a new job, started to go to dramatic art circle, started to push at my school marks.

 

What is most important to me, that I realized that I am the better person. I didn't do anything wrong and I deserve better. Since I realised that, my interest in her dropped like 50%. Yes, I still love her and stuff, but it isn't that I'd cry for her again.

 

At least for now I thinks this.

[Webb26]

Break up since Apr 2. I feel like crap, sent her letters, gave her her things back, had some mean texts. I sent her one last e-mail trying to be civil about it telling her i'm sorry for what happened and take care of herself(which was may2). So i guess i'm on my 3rd day of NC. I've deleted her pics on my phone from my hard drive, i deleted her from my fb. I've just been trying to hang out with friends and what not. Been trying to date, but its really been hard.

[Igelchen]

Dun dun duh... two hours into day 2 and, after lying awake miserable thinking of how little time ago we lay there together talking all night, I only just stopped myself from sending an email. I wrote for an hour, then wavered between the send button and a copy and paste into my diary. The latter won out. That's about the twelfth message I've drafted to her in three days. It's a good thing I know the things I'm trying to say to her wouldn't have any effect:

[dont know]

Day 23... Starting to get back to my awesome self again!

Leaving for home tomorrow, exams are finally done! Really beginning to look at how my life will be without her and seeing all the bright sides instead of dark. Its kind of weird that she isn't in my mind nearly as much as before. I still think about her a lot, but I've become really good at thinking about a good moment we had and just telling myself that she broke up with me. If she really did love ME she wouldn't have done that. I'm so excited to finally get home and just hang out with the family! Healing process has really helped with this NC challenge. I only post in here every couple of days, and its starting to be less and less it seems, so thats a good thing?

[marshmallito]

Day 26

 

I have so much to do at the moment. Its really stressful but I am revelling in my minor victories and despairing at obstacles.

 

My ex is still in my mind. It is impossible to imagine myself with other men, even men more suitable for me. I hope that changes. He was the silent type, not much of a communicator, not sure whether that is in my favour with NC or not.

 

Reading the posts, we are such a mixed bag.

 

Well I have a busy weekend ahead, will see you guys again at my Day 30.

[Webb26]

day 4: I still miss her, tempted to go on her fb but wont. i'm just so indifferent about life now a days that i don't care about anything.

[Igelchen]

Back to square one. * * * * . I emailed her.

 

EDIT: and she replied. She has a boyfriend now. Three weeks after the break up. And she's already had him stay the night. So much for "I want to stay single for a while". She couldn't do it if she tried... this is so bloody awful even the general election couldn't distract me from the misery.

[BobbyC]

She's so predictable. Like clockwork, a little over 2 weeks N/C and she reaches out with another meaningless text. I'm not responding.

[Animelover6764]

Day 8

 

i feel neutral

[whadyousay]

She's so predictable. Like clockwork, a little over 2 weeks N/C and she reaches out with another meaningless text. I'm not responding.

 

happened to me too, she said she would pay me to change her oil for her. I ignored it and after a day i got a "I guess thats a no" she chose some guy over me after a year and im suppost to be friends with her and have her rub him in my face and hurt me, no way. Keep going man she'll want you back one day but it might be too late for her. stay strong, I know I am. im hurting right now but im going to be an azz to her behind her back so I dont talk to her. Im not sure what day im on but it feels like forever.