THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[j.love]

Day 5: 11:23pm

 

Today was Bar Crawl (an event for graduating seniors to get ridiculously drunk down town where my college is located). I was so certain that I would be so depressed and upset today without him, but I wasn't. I had fun and actually forgot sometimes that we aren't together anymore. This makes me actually believe that I will get over him, our relationship will just be something that happened to us while in college.

 

This also makes me realize that I have choices when it comes to this situation. I can choose to be happy or choose to be upset, I wanna choose happy and being emotionally okay.

 

So love and strength to every one, we will get through it and we WILL be okay.

 

MUAH!!!!! *BIG HUG*

[brownage]

Day 32:

 

I'm feeling a downer tonight. I miss her and yet, I don't. I think I just really miss the whole companionship of it. Like having someone there for you. It's such a great feeling and it really sucks when it's gone.

 

I have to keep myself motivated, if I give up now I won't get anywhere. I've already made it past 30 days, I just gotta keep going. She's not the one I want, the one I want was the way she was several months ago. Not the way she is now.

 

But that sweet girl from several months ago is gone, and she won't come back. She's become someone totally different and I've come to accept that. I will find someone better than her who will appreciate me for who I am.

 

Gotta keep moving.

[sighh]

Day 5: 11:23pm

 

Today was Bar Crawl (an event for graduating seniors to get ridiculously drunk down town where my college is located). I was so certain that I would be so depressed and upset today without him, but I wasn't. I had fun and actually forgot sometimes that we aren't together anymore. This makes me actually believe that I will get over him, our relationship will just be something that happened to us while in college.

 

This also makes me realize that I have choices when it comes to this situation. I can choose to be happy or choose to be upset, I wanna choose happy and being emotionally okay.

 

So love and strength to every one, we will get through it and we WILL be okay.

 

MUAH!!!!! *BIG HUG*

 

Indeed, happyness is a choice! I'm glad you realise. It took me a few weeks to realise that after my break-up, but i'm very happy these days.

 

I can almost say that i'm over her. Not 100% but i would say 80%. I can hang out with my friends again, even when she is around. It doesn't hurt me anymore. I just don't care anymore how things will be going between us.

 

And thanks to the break-up i realised that this girl isn't actually what I want.

 

Good luck my friends, I know it's hard. But you can do it! Believe in yourselves!

[Igelchen]

Day 6. OH GOD. She just called. And I ignored it. Succesfully. I feel so much better for doing that!!

 

[13:14:37] *** Missed call from [ex]. ***

[13:15:47] [ex]: i was just wondering what you're doing and how you are, there're a couple of things i wanted to tell you...i'll call you later again.

 

I won’t pick up. What is there she can possibly have to tell me? If she needs to tell me anything that important she'll have to email me. Besides. I’m a wreck. I can’t let her see me like this. I’m shaking. I’m not fit to talk to her face to face again until it stops making my heart beat fifty miles an hour. My skin is white. My hands are shaking so much I spilled my tea.

[j.love]

Day 6. OH GOD. She just called. And I ignored it. Succesfully. I feel so much better for doing that!!

 

[13:14:37] *** Missed call from [ex]. ***

[13:15:47] [ex]: i was just wondering what you're doing and how you are, there're a couple of things i wanted to tell you...i'll call you later again.

 

I won’t pick up. What is there she can possibly have to tell me? If she needs to tell me anything that important she'll have to email me. Besides. I’m a wreck. I can’t let her see me like this. I’m shaking. I’m not fit to talk to her face to face again until it stops making my heart beat fifty miles an hour. My skin is white. My hands are shaking so much I spilled my tea.

 

I am very proud of you Igelchen, you are not playing into her crap anymore. Be strong and hold onto the fact that you are strong enough to not pick up the phone and respond.

 

Be Strong!

[Chris Knows]

Day 6. OH GOD. She just called. And I ignored it. Succesfully. I feel so much better for doing that!!

 

[13:14:37] *** Missed call from [ex]. ***

[13:15:47] [ex]: i was just wondering what you're doing and how you are, there're a couple of things i wanted to tell you...i'll call you later again.

 

I won’t pick up. What is there she can possibly have to tell me? If she needs to tell me anything that important she'll have to email me. Besides. I’m a wreck. I can’t let her see me like this. I’m shaking. I’m not fit to talk to her face to face again until it stops making my heart beat fifty miles an hour. My skin is white. My hands are shaking so much I spilled my tea.

 

Good for you man!!!! Way to go.

 

Most of the time ex's just put out feelers to see why you haven't been stuck up their rear begging them back. They go from one high {who doesn't love attention?} to getting nothing. So they often wonder what has happened. 9 times out of 10 she simply just wanted to touch base and see how you were. Nothing more, Nothing less.

 

Stay strong. Your doing the right thing.

[j.love]

Day 5: 4:19pm

 

I really really really miss him. Tomorrow is graduation and its killing me doing this without him.

 

Should I send him a text saying "I miss him" cause I really really do. Parts of me says no, but my heart won't let him go.

[Igelchen]

Day 5: 4:19pm

 

I really really really miss him. Tomorrow is graduation and its killing me doing this without him.

 

Should I send him a text saying "I miss him" cause I really really do. Parts of me says no, but my heart won't let him go.

 

Best not, eh?

[anu1560]

Day: Who cares

 

I am angry. And depressed. I feel like screaming now. I feel like drinking and drinking till I cannot feel anything. I don't even miss him. I just feel angry at him. Angry for making me go through this. Wish I had the ball in my court. I would reject him even if he comes back. I don't want him back. He has hurt me too much. I don't even want to be part of this getting back together forum. Because I don't want to get back with him. I hate him for making me go through this. I just want to scream. He better stay away me. I just wanted to be happy and peaceful. And now I am a wreck. What right he has? Men suck. I am tired of being unhappy and depressed. I just want to be happy. How long do I have to suffer more? Its just endless questions I have for which I know I will never get answers.

[j.love]

I know I shouldn't, but I saw him today and the lack of communication is killing me. How can he be okay, how can he be fine? I'm dying on the inside. This our graduation we had talked about being together, he doesn't miss me?

[anu1560]

I am not going to miss him. I am not. And why should I wait for him to take me back. I don't want to be taken back by him. I reject him. I reject him from today. He cannot have all the power, can he? He is not at all affected and I am dying here. Then, why should I want myself to be taken back. I hate this word 'taking back'. I deserve better. I am not going to loose my self respect. Someday he will regret. And I am not going to be there that day for him. I promise he will regret taking this decision. I don't want to cry anymore. I don't want to be sad anymore. I need to see a doc now. I am too depressed to do everyday work right now.

[j.love]

what kind of person lies for six months? how do u manipulate another human being for 6 months, knowing all the while how it was going to end, how can someone do that?

[Igelchen]

Day 5 (end of): obviously whatever she wanted to tell me can't be that important, 'cos she didn't try calling me again this evening. Perhaps tomorrow. Maybe she unblocked me, actually, and can see that I'm not appearing online! Who knows? It's all to play for at this point.

 

what kind of person lies for six months? how do u manipulate another human being for 6 months, knowing all the while how it was going to end, how can someone do that?

 

A * * * * . Don't call him.

 

I don't want to cry anymore. I don't want to be sad anymore. I need to see a doc now. I am too depressed to do everyday work right now.

 

Good for you. Do see a doc. I put it off a long time, but getting help was the best thing I've done so far.

[Animelover6764]

Day idk

 

Feeling ok

[whadyousay]

Im feeling a little better, I got a rebound and im hoping it will work out as she likes very many of the same things as me. I still miss the ex for the little things she did that made me smile. I've been writing a journal and try to keep it up to date, I feel like if something were to happen to me I want her to read about the things i've said about her both good and bad. Some days I think moving on is the best thing but others I feel really down and barley keep myself from driving to see her. I do believe she didn't want to hurt me as shes said many times, I still keep thinking what went wrong? What can I do to better myself that someone will stay with me? I really want to see her but I know my feelings will come out and ill break down, I still cant be her friend right now. At one point I thought drugs was the answer, they helped pass time and I was soo messed up I didn't feel the pain BUT they aren't, dont fool yourself into thinking that they are.

 

In the long run I know ill be stronger for next time this happens, i'll be ready. Every since she got her man I've been going to the gym a LOT im getting pumped which I never had before. I keep thinking that i'll run into her one day and she'll think omg you're soo hott im sorry i left you, and she'll still be the same 300lb girl she has always been. im still confused.

 

MESSAGE TO THE PEOPLE HURTING: It will get better, I thought it wouldn't but it will get better. I know it will and will continue down the road to healing from her.

[sighh]

Day ??

 

Feeling ok, not super, but i'm fine.

 

Yesterday i went to hang out at the local youth house where all my friends gather. She's a bartender there. I haven't really talked to her, except to order drinks, nothing more, nothing less.

 

Like monday she was trying to make eye-contact with me. I'm not giving myself false hope. But whenever i looked at her, she was looking at me. I just smiled and looked away if that happened.

 

Some people say that she still loves me and blabla... But really i couldn't care less because her actions speak otherwise. She's got a new guy now. And she'll find out sooner or later, that he's nothing like me.

 

Remember people; its their loss, not yours.

 

Kudos

[j.love]

Day 6: 6:05am

 

Today's my graduation and birthday, its sucks. gonna see him and his hate mongering family. wish me luck

[doejan]

Day 6 of NC with him. I feel blah. I want my baby back. Although, yesterday I opened a page from a past chapter with someone else. I'm not sure what the hell I'm doing...I'll start another thread about it..

[sighh]

Day 6: 6:05am

 

Today's my graduation and birthday, its sucks. gonna see him and his hate mongering family. wish me luck

 

Good luck! and Happy Birthday to you!

[Igelchen]

Day 7. My feelings of relief were slightly tempered yesterday, after she didn't try to call me again in the evening as I'd expected. This morning I was up bright and early, my computer on, to give her every opportunity. OF course the speakers are muted and there's no way I'm picking up yet if she does... but I'm curious to see how persistently and for how long she keeps trying - and what her reaction to my sudden unavailability is.

 

Will she get worried and contact me another way to see if I'm ok, and why I'm ignoring her? Will she just say "F you" and not try any more? We shall see.

 

In the meantime, my parents say they're worried I seem to be thinking about little else ("obsessed" is a very loaded term... I know where lie the boundaries of acceptable, non crazy behaviour) and indeed, I'm trying to analyse her words

i was just wondering what you're doing and how you are, there're a couple of things i wanted to tell you...i'll call you later again.

and fathom precisely what kinds of things she could want to tell me. I don't buy into the idea that she has nothing to tell me.

 

"I was seeing this guy before I dumped you"?

"I actually cheated on you several times when we were together"?

"I'm pregnant."?

"I have herpes"?

The first two aren't really the kind of things I can see her thinking she 'ought' to tell me (how would they help?), the latter two just unlikely.

 

"I miss you"?

"I have regrets"?

"I want you back"?

No way. Way too early for these three - and she'd have tried a bit harder to get in touch if it was them.

 

I'm looking for more realistic suggestions.

[anu1560]

Day 7:

 

Its more than a week I talked to him. I was still hoping at some point that he will call. But it didn't happen. Is it so easy for dumpers to forget things. Is it so easy to forget the beautiful moments a couple shared. How do they do it? I want to learn. Saw a movie once. Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind. The girl goes through a procedure which erased her memory of the time spent with the guy. I want to o through that procedure and start over again. I don't want to go through this breakup drama that is going on in my life. Are the dumpers heartless? What material they are made up off that its not hurting them but us?

[Igelchen]

Sucks, doesn't it. I keep asking myself this question. ](*,)

[j.love]

So do I. Molly, smh

 

So today at graduation I talked to him and said that I want to friends and I genuinely mean it. I'm still not over him and I am setting up boundaries because I have to think about me first. But its my birthday and I always enjoyed his friendship and would like to spend the day with him and my friends ( if he comes). So I would appreciate the help navigating the world of ex's as friends.

[Animelover6764]

Feeling great

[Belts]

Day -5

 

My ex broke up with me one week and four days ago. She wanted to stay friends, and I told her it would be too hard, but then I realized I couldn't keep myself away. I begged and pleaded with her, and we came to the agreement four days ago that we would be friends and save ourselves for each other until we can each get our lives back on track.

 

I ruined this agreement by asking her about someone she slept with and why she never told me, when we told each other about all our past experiences. She went irate and deflected the question by bringing up all the reasons she broke up with me again, and telling me to never talk to her.

 

I called her, and messaged her, begging and pleading to let us go back to being friends and working on it, but she is ignoring me.

 

I haven't contacted her in two days, but on Tuesday I am going to send her one last hand written letter saying, "I've been acting a little crazy trying to contact you. I want you to know that I agree with the break up now, and see that it's the best thing for both of us. In fact, I could see it coming for a while." I'm sending it on Tuesday so it will arrive at her house on Wednesday, because that is the closest business day from now that I know she will be home for.

 

I figure if I write her that, she will take it as that is the true last thing I wanted to tell her. Hopefully she will wonder why I could see it coming, and start to see that she has done the exact things that she broke up with me for.

 

After I send out the letter, I am going NC, and will keep it posted here. Wednesday will be the true Day 1. Even though all I am doing between now and then is writing her one letter, I'm not going to allow myself to cheat.