THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Scattered]

DAY 30!!!

 

Can't imagine it's been this long already! 30 days of NC really tells something! Well we broke up since beginning of February, and if it wasn't her birthday in middle of March, I would of have my NC even longer!

 

I feel a lot more stronger now. I still dream her, think of her everyday in my heart, but I realized that life needs to move on. Maybe someday if there's ever a chance to reconnect each other, we both will know that day. But as for now, it's time to move on!

 

For now.. it doesn't really matter of whether 31 days or 100 or 6 months. I have so many goals to accomplish, and let the future decide me!!

 

Congratulations! You are a source of inspiration for us all!

[BobbyC]

Day 1

 

It all starts today. After being strung along for months, playing the sucker, I’ve had enough. No more friendly or menial contact. I won’t respond to anything from her anymore. I won’t give her any more advice or show sympathy in anyway. I asked if she would like to meet up next month and she said it wasn’t a good idea. Fair enough. I won’t play her games anymore. It’s time to play on my field. I deleted all the old text messages I had from her last night. I also deleted her phone number from my contacts, although I have it memorized. I think I’m ready for this, but it’s going to be hard.

[dont know]

So... I figured I'd feel better after 10 days NC, but it still kinda hurts. This morning was the best morning I've ever had since the breakup, but I have my mind on a few other things this morning. Still miss EVERYTHING about her... she was the girl I was planning on marrying. Loved her to death, but oh well. If she didn't want me then I really don't know what she wants. I have a feeling she will contact me some time, but not really expecting it. Well, gotta go study for an exam. Wish me luck!

[sigmond freud]

lol I will do it...but I cant give up the 29 days...they are well earned..

[Live-N-Learn]

Feeling a little better today. Day 10 of NC. I am slowly accepting it is over. Not easy cuz she gave me just enough to keep me around for the past 3 months post breakup.

[sigmond freud]

hey there scott...i saw yesterday a posting with a guy that came upon a thought altering techinique..link removed is being of some benefit to me...and its really quite easy...give it a shot..

[hellodoe]

feeling fine, i have so much drama in my circle of friends to even think about my ex

 

i had a short fling with a girl that quickly got messy as her feelings were more intense than mine.

so she's gone, planning on apologizing to her though once the hurt dies a little i feel terrible for her.

 

but other than that i'm getting a mani/pedi today, going to the gym, cutting my afternoon classes to go to the beach w my friends tmrw and working all weekend (i love my job!).

 

not really missing her since she was the last one to contact me, i can respond or not respond any time i want .

but i won't haha.

[Loxxt]

feeling fine, i have so much drama in my circle of friends to even think about my ex

 

i had a short fling with a girl that quickly got messy as her feelings were more intense than mine.

so she's gone, planning on apologizing to her though once the hurt dies a little i feel terrible for her.

 

but other than that i'm getting a mani/pedi today, going to the gym, cutting my afternoon classes to go to the beach w my friends tmrw and working all weekend (i love my job!).

 

not really missing her since she was the last one to contact me, i can respond or not respond any time i want .

but i won't haha.

 

Funny how when we leave them hanging or turn them down it helps us move on... Glad to see things are looking up for you!

[sigmond freud]

well right now...for me ..its not even a question of turning them down...she isnt contacting me either,,,but eventually we will have to talk...all my * * * * is still in the house..for me its about getting past, moving on....healing ..whatever you want to call this...and it just makes it easier

[Loxxt]

It's been about three weeks NC. Doing good, yet no matter how many times I read this email, I can't help but feel a little sad. This was the original email sent to my friend from the ex just over a month ago, and a week before the ex emailed me. This is the email that made me break NC and write my last email to him. Both replies are posted on this thread somewhere way back. My ex frustrates me to no end. The dealbreakers: he cheated, no trust left, he's still with her, honestly no respect for him, can't fathom a relationship with him. Then WHY does this email bother me so much? I do have to say that today is the worst day in a few weeks. Feeling a little sad, but that's about it. I'm happy my really bad days don't exist anymore.

 

I changed the names in the email... Here's the who's who:

 

Dave: the friend he wrote

Angie: the friend's wife

Matt: the ex

Lauren: the ex's new gf

Sam: me

 

 

 

Hey dave, *

I'm so lost for words, I don't know where to start. *

I finally see clear enough to talk to you guys, and now that i am, i wish I could have known how to approach you earlier. I suppose we all have a weakness in us. *

I'll begin by saying I am very sorry for not trusting in you and angie as friends. I should have confronted my issues with those closest to me right from the beginning. *

However, nothing prepares us for what is scary in life. And leaving sam was one of the scariest things I've done in a long time. *

 

I hope I can make some sense by the end of this message and hopefully continue conversations in the future. *

 

It's been three months since I've left sam. Every day i see her standing there in my mind. Alone and cold. I don't know if im ready or if i can make amends. But everyday, i feel like I can't move on without her. *

In the past few years, we had had so many fights, that it became such a part of our days, we forgot we were even fighting. Then I met a friend who showed me a partnership without that. And I felt that that was what I had been missing. Only to find out that a relationship is only as strong and seamless when you can find the will to overcome those obstacles. Something I'm quickly realizing isn't here with me now. I always stood by my word to fight differences, And go figure when i see something else that doesn't need fighting for, i jumped ship. *

 

From your perspective, do I deserve a second chance with sam, are we even the same people anymore. I'd like to think that while being away, I've learnt how to be happy and be myself again. I wonder whether sam would see the old me, the me that she started with. *

 

I'm currently awaiting results of my application to the Canadian forces for the LCIS program. (land communication and information systems) While I'm away, I can't honestly say that I'll remain happy with my friend Lauren. Not with all my memories of sam. What i do know is Sam had made coming home so much warmer then I've felt since i left.

 

I suppose what I'm getting at is, if you can honestly see sam considering a friendship again with me while I'm away. I want her, but i want this career, would she accept me for that?

would she be happy in knowing that I've found possibly the small part I've been missing. Perhaps what had been the problem was my job life and not her all along. *

 

I'm sorry to sound like I'm venting, but I've had 3 months of cooped up emotions without knowing how to disclose them. *

If you have no desire to be a part of this, I'll understand, however, If there is a part of you that you think could mitigate our differences, I'm asking you as a friend. If I get accepted to the army, and sam doesn't mind that career choice, please help bring us back together. I believe that her being next to me in a fulfilling career is a life i can be proud of. *

 

The only starting advice for this I have, is maybe some simple questions that we both can answer and share. ( between sam and I, using you guys to help us understand the answers. I'm comfortable in saying you knew us pretty well, and saw us at our best and worst.

 

On a completely side note. I read in some comments, your having a baby, congratulations. If I don't hear back from you, I wish you the best, and know that I'll be here from now on as your friend. Ready to make amends any way i can. *

 

Good luck, *

Matt

[Animelover6764]

Day 7

 

I feel really confused

 

I don't know why

 

crap

[brownage]

Day 12:

 

I'm feeling better than yesterday after I discovered they're already exchanging "I love yous". But I believe that in one of the posts in this thread, the sooner they exchange "I love yous" the sooner the relationship is deemed to end.

 

Yes I know, I have to focus on myself. I'm trying, it's just really hard trying not to think about her and her relationship. I gotta stay out the news or else I'm going to find out more hurtful things.

 

My last exam is tomorrow morning! Wish me luck. Then a 4 month summer

[TryingVeryHard]

Loxxt, he is STILL with her? It seems like if he EVER wanted a chance with you again then priority #1 should be leaving her...

 

It is nice to see a little inside the mind of a dumper with a rebound, though there is probably a big difference between our situations because my ex is a female and there was no cheating...

[Loxxt]

Loxxt, he is STILL with her? It seems like if he EVER wanted a chance with you again then priority #1 should be leaving her...

 

It is nice to see a little inside the mind of a dumper with a rebound, though there is probably a big difference between our situations because my ex is a female and there was no cheating...

 

It wasn't an ongoing cheating thing, though it was cheating. We met her on a Wednesday, cheated on me on Saturday and then broke up with me right after.

 

He's so weak though... I agree with you about the #1 priority but this email was like, "hey, can you help me fix my mistakes cuz I'm not man enough to do it myself". Everyone says she's the one pushing it and it's true. On facebook she's posting on his wall constantly, uploadig pics of them and even answering posts to him from his friends whom she's never met (we're from the same town accross the country, she's from even further out west then where we are now). I think my ex wrote one thing towards her yet she's writing I love you's since a few days after he left me for her. I know facebook is fabricated but I know what's going on and it's just like icing on the cake. I find it kind of amusing to watch actually. She's trying desperately to keep a hold on him, he's obviously not as into the relationship and her and I'm well past this, jus doing me and enjoying it. I don't want all this drama floating around. It's their problem now. I half expect him to just let their relationship go on and he's hoping she'll leave him so he can come back and so it won't look like he's just leaving her to come back to me.

 

Anywho, I don't really think about it much. I've met a few guys who I know are into me. I'm well past the "will I ever meet anyone again!?" phase. At this point it's his mess, his loss and his job to fix "us"... And I'm not even sure I want to welcome him back into my life. Oh well!

[Scattered]

Day 12:

 

I'm feeling better than yesterday after I discovered they're already exchanging "I love yous". But I believe that in one of the posts in this thread, the sooner they exchange "I love yous" the sooner the relationship is deemed to end.

 

Yes I know, I have to focus on myself. I'm trying, it's just really hard trying not to think about her and her relationship. I gotta stay out the news or else I'm going to find out more hurtful things.

 

My last exam is tomorrow morning! Wish me luck. Then a 4 month summer

 

I believe in you man, and I think exactly the same way when it comes to my ex exchanging I love you's with her new love interest.

 

It took us a month and a half to start saying it after spending every waking moment together and they're already at that stage? I don't buy that she means it, although I wouldn't put it past him rushing the relationship. I believe she's just enjoying herself right now and will wake up to reality after the shiny coat on her brand spankin' new relationship fades, and realizes that I'm nowhere to be seen!

[dazedconfused1607308164]

Day 10

 

I've actually been feeling quite a bit better these last few days. I'm trying to keep myself as busy as possible so he's not on my mind so much even though he still is.. I feel like I'm making progress as this the longest we've ever went without talking.

[Rotxsen]

Day 80+

 

I can't do this anymore, my work my family I'm slowly dying my soul it's being eaten away again I need comfort and she was the only one that could do this god damn it I won't break it It's not the answer it's not worth it but I need some help.

[dazedconfused1607308164]

Day 80+

 

I can't do this anymore, my work my family I'm slowly dying my soul it's being eaten away again I need comfort and she was the only one that could do this god damn it I won't break it It's not the answer it's not worth it but I need some help.

 

Day 80?? You've made great progress. I hope it works that way for me as well. I know it's hard but hang in there. There are a lot of people in your situation and there are plenty of people here to talk to when you need to vent. Good luck.

[tintin_K]

Day 3 : Feeling just fine. I wish I didn't have to see him. But we work together so I do have to see him. After work, saw him at the gym too. He said 'hi', I just nodded. He was with a girl there. Well, who cares!

[Rotxsen]

Day 80?? You've made great progress. I hope it works that way for me as well. I know it's hard but hang in there. There are a lot of people in your situation and there are plenty of people here to talk to when you need to vent. Good luck.

 

It's like day 83

 

but venting won't work I need to take actions before it's too late.

[dont know]

end of day 10. feeling a hell of a lot better. Dont know if thats due to my 4 mile run around campus today or not? anyways I dont really care, I'm just happy that I'm not devastated right now. congrats everyone else for the progress.

[miss meh]

Day 3, kinda...

 

Since I made the decision to go true NC, I keep freaking running into my ex, so I have no idea how to count my days--it's like the universe is making some sort of ironic joke at my expense. BUT!... I'm suddenly and fabulously unfreaking unflappable. Something happened in the last two days, and I'm suddenly just like 'whatever'. I've somehow finally mastered friendly but distant--like I care about what he thinks about me about as much as I did when we first met and were just social acquaintances. I feel like... awesome and nearly invincible again. Kinda worried about a setback at some point in the future, but I feel like I've turned a corner, and no matter what happens I really AM going to be ok.

 

Ex seems a little confused by this development. Like, he's not sure how to treat me. Unsure if he's just not used to seeing me in person or if it's because he hasn't seen me react to absolutely anything he's thrown my way lately, lol [i melted down in private once, thankyouverymuch ]. Either way, WHO CARES?

 

I'm planning on going into hiding this weekend-- ok maybe not, I'm going to party it up but avoid mutual hotspots, just because I don't really feel like being a constant presence atm (after encountering the ex 4 times this week O.o).

[TSandullo]

It's like day 83

 

but venting won't work I need to take actions before it's too late.

 

Rotxen friend,

 

you, Loxxt, getbii and myself started this journey together here on ENA.

 

As you have looked out for us, now we are here for you.

 

Though we started off with pain when we began NC, we had great moments as well as times when we felt in the pits. Even after X number of days, when we think the storm has passed, we still feel the ache at times.

 

I believe what you are feeling right now is one of those moments.

 

You have inspired others, myself included, in the past with your progressive posts on these threads.

 

Read over them and see your progress. It was never a smooth ride.

 

I don't know what you meant by taking action before it is too late, but I have to ask, too late for what?

 

I hope you brave this storm again and if there are any inspirational words I can direct you to...it is to your sig.

 

TS

[TSandullo]

end of day 10. feeling a hell of a lot better. Dont know if thats due to my 4 mile run around campus today or not? anyways I dont really care, I'm just happy that I'm not devastated right now. congrats everyone else for the progress.

 

And congrats to you for your progress.

 

Every day is another step, and yours happened to be a good 4 miles.

 

Every days brings that little progress. And even though at times you will still feel in the pits, that is all part of your healing and progression.

 

Hell, even I get the odd stab of yearning for my ex at times.

 

Keep up the great work.

 

We're in this together.

 

TS

[TSandullo]

Day 3 : Feeling just fine. I wish I didn't have to see him. But we work together so I do have to see him. After work, saw him at the gym too. He said 'hi', I just nodded. He was with a girl there. Well, who cares!

 

well obviously you care, otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it here.

 

Kudos to you though, enduring his constant presence in these early NC stages.

 

It takes considerable effort and emotional fortitude to get on normally when your ex is in your face constantly. Trust me, I know...

 

It is great that you are getting on with your life though without him and that he hasn't debilitated you.

 

You have a long way to go still but you have made a great start.

 

TS