THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[bitebenot]

Day 1, Round 3

 

While I was on my last two NCs of around 45 days each, he already "moved on" and got a new girlfriend. How confusing that is!

 

From now on, I'm on another 30 days of NC. Would be good just to get him out of my head for a while

 

Part time NC will never work ! He already knows that you will show up soon or later,Hes a lucky man !

[syxx87]

Make her crawl ! Otherwise it wont work at all ! For her you are her tool !

She will keep you on a tight leash,enjoy your ride.

 

So do you feel I should for sure go back to NC unannounced? My roommate broke it down in a way I agree with.

 

A) I can chase after her now and basically compete with her boss for her affection, and I will likely get back with her, but I will basically be her * * * * * and she will probably do it again in the future.

 

B) Not talk to her and she wont come back as long as she still has feelings for her boss and until she for sure wants to be back but with "B" I keep my manhood.

[star111]

Its the only way to regain control of ourselves and our lives. !

 

yes- I feel this too, once we get past the toughest days. you get a sense of control again, of how you truly want your life to be. sort of liberating seeing yourself head down a new road. not stuck in the negativity of the relationship you know isn't right to be in anymore.

[dezember]

So do you feel I should for sure go back to NC unannounced? My roommate broke it down in a way I agree with.

 

A) I can chase after her now and basically compete with her boss for her affection, and I will likely get back with her, but I will basically be her * * * * * and she will probably do it again in the future.

 

B) Not talk to her and she wont come back as long as she still has feelings for her boss and until she for sure wants to be back but with "B" I keep my manhood.

 

syxx87 - I'd do B if I were you. Just think how much energy you are going to spend on winning her back by competing? Talking her back into it, being nice, showing you've changed. Counting days till you next meet... Yuk! And you still wouldn't even be sure if it lasts!

[dezember]

Part time NC will never work ! He already knows that you will show up soon or later,Hes a lucky man !

 

You're right on that. 30 days are just for me to keep my thoughts off him, some time after I'm moving abroad to take up my new job No more showing up there!

[kvb10]

Day 10 of NC Day 17 of NIC (no initiated contact)

 

trucking along... feeling better today... no major news to report.

[anon12]

day 7, would have been 3 weeks if i hadnt responded to that email..

 

feeling alright, one of my friends was telling me how she tried speaking to my ex before her about 2months ago, why? havnt got a clue, she was almost 4 years ago now And that she had an argument after commenting on a facebook group she joined. Something about being a fan of "being faithful to your bf/gf"

 

Talk about irony.

 

gonna be a hard week or 2. Not a fan of the valentines idea of doing something romantic just for that day. But i did always do something.

 

This time last year was such a major turning point. This year feels like a step back

[syxx87]

syxx87 - I'd do B if I were you. Just think how much energy you are going to spend on winning her back by competing? Talking her back into it, being nice, showing you've changed. Counting days till you next meet... Yuk! And you still wouldn't even be sure if it lasts!

 

Yeah I'm for sure going with B. I'm trying to debate if I'm gonna do it unannounced or tell her we arent talking again until she has figured out what it is that she wants. I told her that I needed a few days/time to think so for now, I dont have to worry about any contact with her but my family invited her to go to church with us this Sunday so if she does want to go and calls at some point this weekend, I dont know if I should just ignore her or do the civil thing and let her come then afterward tell her that we need space again.

[bitebenot]

So do you feel I should for sure go back to NC unannounced? My roommate broke it down in a way I agree with.

 

A) I can chase after her now and basically compete with her boss for her affection, and I will likely get back with her, but I will basically be her * * * * * and she will probably do it again in the future.

 

B) Not talk to her and she wont come back as long as she still has feelings for her boss and until she for sure wants to be back but with "B" I keep my manhood.

 

The only way it can work its for her to ASK and work hard for it ! To go for the gold against the novelty is a waste of time.If you try to compete you will lose and have only yourself to blame for losing her for good.Right now she knows she can have you anytime she wants,why would she stress ? How can she miss you ? Shes got 2 choices,and your second ! If she doesnt come back on her own and with sincerity she wont stay around for long,she will dump you a second time and for good.Its up to you to decide.I propose that you go NC and dont tell her anything.If she wants you badly she will find you.

[matt_t586]

Almost completed 3 days! Longest Ive managed so far! She dummped me Sat Jan 30th 11days! In a lot of pain!!!!

[bitebenot]

Almost completed 3 days! Longest Ive managed so far! She dummped me Sat Jan 30th 11days! In a lot of pain!!!!

 

Take it one day at the time,stay very busy and DONT stay alone ! Go out and take a look at other girls around you.If you dont want to date,talk to them !

Stay with friends and go away on weekends,that helps a lot.Having interaction with other women will shift your mind to a more positive outlook for the future.Soon you will see that she wasnt the center of the galaxy ! Just like most of us here,you will make it dude !

[klafeoj]

Day 35. She called again last night (about 3 weeks since last attempt) Said that she figured if i banshed her and her family she may as well call and see how im doing make sure im doing all right. Asked her to call her back ... please. Ugh... just felt like reporting

[bitebenot]

Day 35. She called again last night (about 3 weeks since last attempt) Said that she figured if i banshed her and her family she may as well call and see how im doing make sure im doing all right. Asked her to call her back ... please. Ugh... just felt like reporting

 

It shows she still think of you.Keep ignoring her.She will try again.Unless its about reconciliation,you dont answer any phone calls or emails.Your worked very hard to be where you are.Resist at all cost or go back to square one !

Right now its about her needs and NOT yours ! Only listen to the messages when she calls you,DONT answer !

[deecbee]

Day 6

 

Deleted him off of Facebook yesterday, and deleted my email account. He noticed and within hours sent me an angry text, an angry facebook message, AND emailed my SISTER of all people to ask her to pass on a sappy "final goodbye" letter to me. I have not responded, and will not. If he had anything nice to say, he should've said it directly to me, and not tried to get my sister involved. What a moron this guy is. Right now I am angry and embarassed for falling for such a loser.

[bitebenot]

Day 6

 

Deleted him off of Facebook yesterday, and deleted my email account. He noticed and within hours sent me an angry text, an angry facebook message, AND emailed my SISTER of all people to ask her to pass on a sappy "final goodbye" letter to me. I have not responded, and will not. If he had anything nice to say, he should've said it directly to me, and not tried to get my sister involved. What a moron this guy is. Right now I am angry and embarassed for falling for such a loser.

 

lol..he is a flunkee...ignore him,i agree..not answering back is the way to go !

He just dropped his mask,now you see the real man behind it.Im sure hes trying to make you crawl to him.You called him a moron..that did make me laugh !

[kvb10]

Attention people getting over break ups - do not see the movie "up in the air"

 

god what a mistake.. i was having a good day then i saw that and had to cry during the movie - not about the movie - but about the reminder of my failed relationship. plus the movie isn't even that good...

 

so anyways... day 10 continued... feeling down but also mad... for the moment i have decided that i never want to speak to her again. she was adamant about being friends one day... but she can't get everything that she wants.

[Brenda222]

I accept the challenge. I want to get over him. We do have a child involved, a son, he has to pick up. But I think by doing this it will help me.

 

Day 1

He is with someone else, his ex, the person he cheated on me for and then sleeps in our bedroom with, even when our son is visiting him in our home, the one he wanted me to move from. I go thru good and bad days. I think it hurts me more thinking that he could be with someone else other than his ex. When I hear things that he is doing, like having her in our home, for some reason it bothers me less than to think about him being out with someone else. I guess cause I know what she looks like and she is not very attractive at all, and the thought of him having sex with her makes me sick and she is so unintelligent, unlike me, so it just doesnt feel so bad. I think it would not bother me as much either if I had not been so depressed over all this and left my job. I miss my job so much and now I wish I was there. So I am dealing with it but depression hits me so much because I still am in love with him.

[minou]

To my sweetie. I've been really successful at not letting my brain go back to the past the last couple of weeks. Of course it does go there, but I don't let it dwell. It just hurts too much. so I keep the memories on the periphery. Lately when I get an image of you I put lavender all around it and try to focus on the color instead of on you. I miss you so much. I hope you are happy. This is not usually true because I've often wished things are not working out for you with this new woman and you come running back to us. I feel a little guilty for that. Today I hope you are happy and I am going to write it down to amplify that feeling while it lasts. It's absolutely hard for me to imagine that you're in love with someone else. I wish she hadn't called and told me. She must not be feeling very secure if she is reading your emails and text messages. She also said, he may not want to admit it but he's moved on. That gave me hope, that you don't want to admit it. I don't believe, in my heart, this will last with her. I bet she won't call me when it ends. I hope you do. There I go again, hoping it doesn't work out between the two of you, hoping you often compare her to me and find her lacking, hoping you think of me with love, tenderness and longing more and more over time. These are my real feelings. I can't deny them. I don't care if anyone tells me it's unhealthy after all this time. I'm lucky I've had such a powerful love in my life. Anything else pales by comparison. That's why I'm surprised you could go there. I know you had a couple of relationships before me that were more like party friends than romantic love and I wonder if that's what you have now. Truth be told, I hope so. It comforts me you've not asked for a divorce. I love still being your legal wife. Like wildflowers, my feelings are what they are. My heart has its own garden these days. I'm a very physical person and I always thought I would miss sex in my life, but oddly enough I really don't. If it's not you, I don't want anyone. First I tried a guy who actually kind of looked like you. It was great. He was a really nice person. It was also great he was still in love with his estranged wife. We spent time talking about how much we love our exes. It was sweet. We had a nice interval. I was SO happy for them when they got back together. It gave me hope. I did have sex once with another guy after that, because his guitar playing reminded me of you. Your image merged with his body and I felt so sad. I can't even pleasure myself these days, when I think of you sexually (and you are imbued in my cells) I get too sad. Where does the energy of all this emotion go, this longing for you, and constant love of you? I wonder if it is a total waste. I feel a little weird typing all this on here, some people are doing their best to go for losing hope and moving on. I tried that and it just isn't happening for me. So I've realized, for now, I'm simply more peaceful living in acceptance, with gentle hope. I have more windows of joy day to day in this acceptance, and am better able to shift out of agony when it pops in. It's as though I've learned how to apply my own inner medication, blurring the edges of the pain, making it through to the moment it's gone, remembering when it's at the very worst, this too shall pass. Hoping you come back to me one day. My phone is always open to you, along with my heart & soul. Good-bye for now, sweetie. I'm glad I'm not mailing this to you. I am respecting your space. I wonder how you would feel if you read it. I think, honestly, it would make you sad because I know in my heart you still love me. That's the last thing you told me, the second to last phone conversation. I don't believe you'll ever stop. I think you went NC because your brain told you it was for the best and you shut down your heart. I admire your ability to do that. you've always been so strong. A quality I love so much in you turns out to hurt me so much. I hope one day you find yourself weak in the face of thoughts of us and give in.

[vertigoxo]

Day 161

 

Sigh... Last night was hard. 19 days till I complete 6 months of NC. Wish me luck.

[minou]

Wow. Good for you. Good luck.

[anon12]

urgh i broke it again!

 

she sent me an email about how she was going to go to counciling, and sort herself out like i did, and how she wanted the old her back. She said how her dad was speaking to her again, saying he wishes she hadnt been born, and * * * * like that. and then said, that she just wanted to let me know, but not that i care.

 

I not caring bit was obviously aimed at getting me to respond, but i just said that i was pleased she was making a positive step with the counciling.

 

She responded with some random crap about how her mums friend recons shes gonna split up soon, because there not meant to be, and some other random psychic rubbish.

 

I just said i couldnt speak to her, and left it at that.

 

 

I was coming on heaps and bounds, but when i got the message, i felt sick to the stomach.

 

urgh.

[deecbee]

lol..he is a flunkee...ignore him,i agree..not answering back is the way to go !

He just dropped his mask,now you see the real man behind it.Im sure hes trying to make you crawl to him.You called him a moron..that did make me laugh !

 

Flunkee... hehehe, good one

[deecbee]

Day 161

 

Sigh... Last night was hard. 19 days till I complete 6 months of NC. Wish me luck.

 

You are my hero! I can only hope to make it that far! It has gotten easier, hasn't it? Even just a little bit?

[deecbee]

Welcome.

 

Your story breaks my heart... and makes me angry at the same time. What a cold, callous pig for having done something like that to you. It is the weirdest, most unsettling feeling having such strong feelings for someone who treated you like dirt. I've been there. Hopefully this will help you gain back some dignity and love for yourself, and you won't even give this pig another thought.

[bitebenot]

Welcome.

 

Your story breaks my heart... and makes me angry at the same time. What a cold, callous pig for having done something like that to you. It is the weirdest, most unsettling feeling having such strong feelings for someone who treated you like dirt. I've been there. Hopefully this will help you gain back some dignity and love for yourself, and you won't even give this pig another thought.

Ya,he is a hog indeed...i guess he was always in touch with his ex and never got over her.Maybe he went from one relationship to another too quickly. Seems like they deserve each other.One day he will realize what he lost and wont be able to get it back.I agree,never take him back,hes bad news.