peanutbutterandjelly Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 day 4 update.... i want to call him so badly right now. im barely holding on. i just want to give in so i can hear his voice. Link to comment
Nappyloxs Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Day 2. Doing good. still love her and thinking of her. But its gotten a little, again, little easier. Link to comment
Mustachio Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Day 28! its almost unbelievable. I still think about her every day, but my thoughts are less specific things, and just sort of missing the relationship in general. Been depressed a bit lately and today was still a bit more of the same, but ups and downs, and overall, things are still going quite ok. Link to comment
coolchick64 Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Day 28! its almost unbelievable. I still think about her every day, but my thoughts are less specific things, and just sort of missing the relationship in general. Been depressed a bit lately and today was still a bit more of the same, but ups and downs, and overall, things are still going quite ok. Ooo, Mustachio . . . you're inching right up on 30 days. How'd that happen?! Good for you!!!! Link to comment
moyno85 Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 day 21 broke contact sent a text saying thank you for the birthday message, sorry for late reply. hope you are well. no reply feel like absolute sh** Link to comment
reminisce Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 day 1.. trying to stay sane. Link to comment
Hobbes Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 day 1 all her mail is going straight into the bin. Link to comment
SadAndDepresse Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Day 2 - Read that interesting post about "being nonchalant".. It inspired me. Let's see how long that lasts. I havn't called or checked facebook/msn or anything, I did check my phone only to see that there was no missed call or message, however but did not make any call or text to her. Still thinking about her tonnes and hoping maybe we can sort this out. Just wondering why I just feel like she doesn't care anymore... I havn't done anything wrong and even after the breakup she seemed to come chasing after me. Now it's like shes disappeared for good. Maybe theres someone else? Other than that.. I am alive and breathing. So everything is good! Link to comment
peanutbutterandjelly Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Day 5.... went to bed too early i guess, and woke up 2 hours earlier than i had to. i just want to go back to bed and never get up again. Link to comment
Mustachio Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Ooo, Mustachio . . . you're inching right up on 30 days. How'd that happen?! Good for you!!!! Honestly, I have no idea how that happened... It feels like its been practically no time at all... but it also feels like its been the longest stretch of time in my life. So, I hit 30 days tomorrow, what am I supposed to do then? heh Link to comment
Nappyloxs Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Starting day 3. of course, I woke up this morning thinking of her. I just want to call her and tell her I love her. But I have already tried that route. It didn't work. Link to comment
feelingitnow Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Day 5 of no contact here. Last saw him one week ago. Last texted/emailed 5 days ago. Sent a birthday card 3 days ago. His birthday is today. Checked his Facebook page, all his friends are wishing happy birthday on it (we agreed to stay Facebook friends during the NC period). Not supposed to talk until mid-December. I am feeling the urge to text/call him today for his birthday but trying to resist. It's his first birthday since we've met. I had gotten him a birthday present, but he'd told me to wait until December because then it would be around the holidays so I could give it to him then. He is using this time to think about if we can reconcile, if he can start something new, if he can move on from the problems we had in the past. He did say he had gone on a few dates with someone too, so I have been worried that he may get serious with the person by the time we talk in December - although he said it had nothing to do with the other person, that time apart is the only way he can consider starting something new with me. Trying, trying not to break NC but I want to so bad just to hear his voice and to wish him Happy Birthday. But what if he doesn't respond or call me back, then I'll feel even worse. And I did already send the card. I just feel left out that all his friends are getting to say Happy B-day and I am forced to be left out. I know checking his Facebook was a bad idea but it helps me to feel connected to him... Trying to be strong...I want to call him but know I shouldn't... Link to comment
jonboi Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 30 weeks of her gone out of sight 25 weeks of NC Been a long long time, seems like 2 years Think about her all the time, but if she wants to speak with me, she knows the ways to do so. Link to comment
peanutbutterandjelly Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 broke my nc on day 5. im pretty surprised i lasted this long. right now i dont feel that bad. i got answers to some questions and got some closure.. im gonna try to go nc for a few more days and take it from there. i am worried talking to him him will make him get over me faster, but i feel like there is no hope for a quick reconcilation after our conversation... he's not gonna change his mind in a couple of weeks. its gonna take months, if he ever does. he will have to get over me and fall in love with me again if its ever meant to be. Link to comment
feelingitnow Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 milkandhoney: do you regret talking to him and breaking the NC? Did you guys have a set timeline before or was it just all open-ended? I have some questions floating in my head seeking clarification and am also on a Day 5 NC. Am considering breaking it -- but did you guys have an open-ended thing and do you feel better in general? Like do you regret doing it? I am just trying to decide what to do. The fact that today is his B-day makes it even harder. My situation, he needs more than a month to think about reconciling which is why we agreed on December, so I guess that it could be worse. It could be 6 months. Or a year. Link to comment
peanutbutterandjelly Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 i dont regret doing it. im happy i did it, i got some closure/understanding on things. We never talked about going NC, I just decided to do it after he told me that he needed some space. He didn't even know i was purposely doing it. When i was talking to him, he honestly thought that we hadnt talked in 2 days. he didn't realize it was 5. I honestly think it would have been worse if i had waited a month to talk to him because in that time i would have been wondering whether or not he was thinking about coming back anytime soon... but now i know that he's not gonna change his mind in a couple days, in a week, in a month... if we ever get to reconsiling, it's going to take a long long long time. i understand that now after this conversation, and im glad i didnt wait 30 days to find that out... now i guess its just time to figure out my next step. he told me he would talk to me tomorrow...and im not sure how im going to handle that yet. Link to comment
Nappyloxs Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Day 3 of attempt 3. I am doing pretty well today. Starting to realize that I am only on day 3. She is probably on day 50. I am realizing that she just isn't coming back and its just on me to improve as a person and to start moving forward in my life without her. Link to comment
feelingitnow Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 milkandhoney: it's good you got some closure for the questions you had in mind. Maybe telling him that you need to not talk for a set period of time will make things easier so that you can both think about what you want without the fear of never seeing each other again. That may put some pressure on him too, because he will miss you and wonder what you are doing. It will also help to put the ball in your court somewhat, unless you think that he won't even care. I'm not sure about why he broke up, etc, but despite that, a timeline may work. Nappyloss: What's your story? Did she tell you it was over for good and forever? And did she impose the NC request or is this a choice you are making to try and get over her. As for me, so far I ended up not contacting him -- his birthday will be over in 5 hours anyway. I figure that I did send the card with the gift card in it a few days ago so he knows I was thinking about him -- so am trying to just sleep the day away, which I did... 47 days to go (we agreed on 55 total days of NC)... I am starting to see him in a different way than I did at the point we stopped talking, I was distrustful, etc, now I am seeing him in a softer light. So maybe this is a good thing...I've started imagining scenarios of when I do get to see him again -- what will we say or do? Imagining like that helps me to make it feel more immediate and closer, instead of 47 days away. And I have to stop checking his damn facebook page!!! I have a feeling that he's missing me too, I have really never given him his space before... Link to comment
eikal Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Day... 19? 20? somewhere in there. for all of you on day 1-7 those are the worst days, trust me it all gets better as time passes. You'll still think about her on day 20 but you won't have the urge to contact them. I'm happy and moving on with a new relationship. Have faith in yourself to go NC, and for you FACEBOOKERS!! Delete them!!!!!!! I deleted mine and her friends even, i don't have a problem with it at all anymore. Link to comment
feelingitnow Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 eikal: that's encouraging. my relationship future is still open-ended so I'm not really ready to move on; he told me not to wait for him but that being apart is the only way he can think about being together again. He didn't say it's done for good, just that he needs time because of the bad way things ended between us. Facebook just has given me a way to still feel connected, I am not ready to let go yet and he isn't either because we still have feelings, it's not dead. But that's AMAZING you are at Day 20...CONGRATS!! I have 47 days of NC to go til we can meet and talk about things again...so I guess it's sort of a different situation. I am not ready to move on, and I don't think he is either. That's why we are taking the time apart to evaluate and assess the situation and our long term compatibility. If we do meet in December and he says he's met someone else and is serious about them, etc etc, then I think I will be ready to move on but still have hope that some good things will come from this, and I am trying to learn a lesson in patience. I never gave him space before, even though he always asked for it. Someone on his facebook said they hope he feels better, so maybe he is missing me too now -- who knows. But I should at least stop checking it regularly, that's true LOL. Link to comment
Singler Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 27 days NC....gets easier each day. starting to feel numb for him but miss the intimacy with him.... Link to comment
jcapulet2007 Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I guess i need to join this challenge..if only so that I dont feel so alone in this. Im not really sure when to start my NC from. Its been 31 days since I spent time with him..and he told me that he loved me. Then he completely ignored my texts and phone calls for 3 weeks. As a last resort I tried to send an offline messsage on msn (which we no longer communicated on) to find pics on there of him with a new woman.(She is beaming..he looks out of it to be honest) He did answer my concern for his welfare immediately with the response " I'm good..been busy..chillin with my missus" Sooo..I insticated NC..9 days ago from that day. I bumped into him and her 6 days ago and he smiled, we said hi... Does my 30 days NC start from the msn convo or the hello that we exchanged? I guess I dont really need to count days, its over. :sad: Link to comment
feelingitnow Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I would say it starts from the last time you had ANY contact with him, including the coincidental contact that happened 6 days ago; you didn't just ignore him or pretend you didn't see him -- you made contact and said hello. So I would say that you are at Day 6 now. You didn't mention the backstory of why you broke up, etc, but did he ever mention the possibility of getting back together at all, or is that not even in the cards at all? It seems like he is definitely making you jealous by flaunting this new person around, or it could be a rebound -- do you suspect he was with her while you two were at the tail end of your relationship as well? Maybe that was a factor that led to the breakup... Link to comment
feelingitnow Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Singler: at 27 days, do you have any timeline for talking again at all or is it all open-ended and up in the air? Just curious. You say you miss him, and maybe he misses you, too. Do you think there is any hope for reconciliation? Link to comment
Mustachio Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Holy crap, end of day 29... still dont believe its been this long, and yet its been no time at all. I miss her, and am a bit sad, only because all the moving on I have done means leaving that part of my life in the past. Tomorrow is day 30, I know its just a number, so as of now, I have no plans to call her or get in touch with her. The ball is in her court for that, and ill make a decision whether to respond if or when she does. My therapist still thinks she is an addiction, and says the only way to break it is complete abstinence from the addiction, which is her. Link to comment
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