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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


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Day 2 update...

 

well, our mutual friend has not emailed me or texted me back. Shortly after i posted in this thread, i contacted another mutual friend looking for support... and she's hasn't emailed me back either. i'm hoping it's because its the weekend and everyone is busy and they are not ignoring me.

 

im kinda surprised that he hasnt tried to call me today. i figured he would but i should have known better. i almost gave into the urge to call him but came on here instead.

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Day 17. Been doing pretty well lately. I used to think the only reason I was doing well in school last semester was because she kept me motivated. Midterms were this week, and I was expecting the worst.

 

I got the grades to my first one back on friday... Highest grade out of 44 students in the class THAT felt pretty darn good I must say.

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Day 20

 

Not calling her though.

I think shes still seeing someone.

Not sure, not going to check her facebook status, which she made sure I'd see before.

 

When i feel better, I'll call her to see how she is. After all she was like a best friend. I really miss that.

 

I need to get to the point that I don't really care if shes available or not. Cause if she was single now, I know we could reconnect. She was calling me, and missing me, and being needy (and she left me) until she met this guy to boost her ego again.

 

It was games for a couple of weeks. And she wanted to still communicate. I said no if shes seeing someone.

 

I'll get better, and maybe we'll be friends, or more. For now still NC. Its hard, but its the only way.

 

Keep on keepin on people.

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Day 8

 

I can't stand this constant thinking about you when I'm probably not even entering your thoughts. I want to check your FB profile sooooo bad just to see pics of you again, but i know this will just set me back. Why can't you just see how great a guy I am. There was something between us, what happened to that?

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Day 3.... very early in day 3, but day 3 none the less.

 

after 2 days of not crying i just completely broke down again. I feel sick to my stomach. I feel like I can't breathe. I just wish it was a week ago, before he broke up with me. last monday was the last day we spent together.... and i didnt see anything coming.

 

before this i just wanted to call him and beg him to take me back.... but right now i just want to yell at him for hurting me so badly.

 

i hate myself right now.

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This is Day 1. Again another attempt. This time I hope it is easier. My last letter to her explained everything I have thought about. I know now that there is nothing else I can do but move forward with my life. Still miss her and want her to comeback. But I have accepted that she may never comeback, I have no control over it, and all I can do now is live MY life.

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been 3 weeks NC. was doing ok. starting to get over it. not even really think about it all that much.

 

today, like an idiot I decided to google her name at work.

 

First thing that came up was a promo photo of her and her new boyfriend who are in the same string quartet. Turns out they have been touring together for the past 2 weeks. made me feel sick and dizzy.

 

awesome.....

 

that set me back.

 

kick.

 

in.

 

the.

 

guts.

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Day 1 -

 

Starting my NC today.. i am sick of feeling this way I have never been so low and this depressed in my whole life. I am hiding my phone from myself, changing my MSN password, changing my Facebook password so I can't see any of her updates or have any contact. And not going back for 2 weeks. I am SO over this waiting to hear from my ex.. looking for reconciliation.. playing games and going NC to try and make her miss me.. it's all ****ed up.. i am done. Life is way too short to be like this.

 

I have to see my ex 100% in 2 weeks time she is coming up here for my bestfriends (her cousins) 21st birthday she already has booked tickets (we were long distance for 3 years- broke up 3 weeks ago), she is planning to stay at my house and she made it out as if we were on a "break" until she comes up to talk face to face about it because she needed space and was confused, because I was so needy and dependent on her. I can't wait that long but theres nothing I can do but push her away until then.

 

I cant be just friends with her it's impossible, it's too hard. I am doing this because I keep on stuffing up and calling her and being needy and pushing her away, I'm not doing this for a way to get back with her, but to give it One last chance and keep sane until I get to see her face to face when she is up here and talk things through and from there get my DEFINATE answer. either move on 100% or reconcile.

 

This is it.. wish me luck this feels like the hardest thing I've ever done : (

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uggg, i want to call him sooo badly right now. must. not. call. i should just try to go to bed... last night i was up til 4 am the and night before i was up til 6:30. even though im super tired, i cant sleep. my thoughts just go crazy and swirl around in my head and keep me awake.

 

You guys have GOT to try and sleep!!! No even kidding, you will literally drive yourself psychotic if your body does not have time to rest. Take some nyquil, workout, go for a run, whatever you have to do to get yourself tired enough to sleep.

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im feeling a little better as the day goes on... i feel like im doing the right thing because he asked for some space. As much as i want to break NC i feel like i HAVE to do it at this point. When we first broke up he said that he would probably want to talk in about a week. Of course I kept bothering him and pushing him away for about 3 days but i do believe that he will contact me at some point. When he does, i'm really not sure what im gonna do.

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