THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[frangimond]

i broke NC. back to day 1. but I am more determined than ever. in fact I broke NC to call and say goodbye.

 

so thats it.

 

and I know this is for the best. Time to rebuild me. where had i gone? And why was i playing the victim? I played a huge role in our break up and so now i must be honest with myself and face all of this. and that means facing myself. this break up has been a huge mirror to myself. and i dont like what i see!

 

time for a change.

 

if i ever want to get back with my ex i will have to be much stronger than i am now. time to move on. time to stop worrying if they are thinking about me. i know they are. they are still in love with me but we just cannot be together right now. and if i want to change that cannot into can i have to stop wallowing. i have to get a grip.

 

If anyone needs some inspiration try: link removed

 

good luck everyone!

[frangimond]

so much for being strong....my stomach is aching, my heart is pounding, my palms are sweaty....i am in withdrawal! yikes! i wish i smoked or something as at least then i could replace it with another drug! but then i'd have to quit that one s well......wowzer.....

 

also my ex and i used to always write letters to each other when we were apart. am i allowed to do that? does that count as contact? dumb question aye?..........i wish this was simpler! i wish this was easier!

 

its gonna get easier, it has too, it cant get harder!

[coolchick64]

Day 16 bleh

 

just feeling very angry today. I was lied to, manipulated, and tossed aside. I didn't deserve any of this . . .

[JonasWaingaro]

so much for being strong....my stomach is aching, my heart is pounding, my palms are sweaty....i am in withdrawal! yikes! i wish i smoked or something as at least then i could replace it with another drug! but then i'd have to quit that one s well......wowzer.....

 

also my ex and i used to always write letters to each other when we were apart. am i allowed to do that? does that count as contact? dumb question aye?..........i wish this was simpler! i wish this was easier!

 

its gonna get easier, it has too, it cant get harder!

 

Sure write them, just don't send them. I hear ya on the withdrawal, it is tough! It does get easier in time. Hang in there!

 

Oh and I'm on day...14 or so...again...

[coolchick64]

I have not contacted him at all either. I don’t know what to do...

 

I would let things go for the time being. You have a lot of conflicting feelings, like anyone would. Take a few weeks to sort all of it out in your own mind. Then decide if contacting him makes sense.

 

I know I say this a lot, accross different threads, but I think in your case I'd try to read about people with commitment phobia. Some of what you've said here sounds like it applies. It might help you understand your ex.

 

Good luck!

[lotus26]

Day 5.

 

I thought it would get easier...nope its getting harder.

as the days go on i realise he is not really missing me like i thought he would at the start. I am starting to think this NC is not worth it.

But then again what do i have to gain from contacting him....nothing!

[rigguy]

Day 5.

 

I thought it would get easier...nope its getting harder.

as the days go on i realise he is not really missing me like i thought he would at the start. I am starting to think this NC is not worth it.

But then again what do i have to gain from contacting him....nothing!

 

Girl there is nothing you can do. If he loves you he will get around to you. NC is not a strategy to get someone, it is however the best way to pave the way for them to come back, if they want to. You right it does get worse for a while but at some point you will get passed it. If you made your feelings straight to him already there is no reason to contact him. Rooting for you!

[lotus26]

I dont know of he does realise how much i do love him and if he does know my true feelings.

I feel like he will think this NC thing is me just giving up cause its so out of character for me to just drop of the radar and when he text me a few days after he dumped me i played it cool and sounded fine and happy even though my heart was breaking.

I dont know, maybe i am just doing my head in.

Thanks for the support

 

 

 

 

Girl there is nothing you can do. If he loves you he will get around to you. NC is not a strategy to get someone, it is however the best way to pave the way for them to come back, if they want to. You right it does get worse for a while but at some point you will get passed it. If you made your feelings straight to him already there is no reason to contact him. Rooting for you!

[frangimond]

Lotus you can do it! i know you can!

 

go get that book off amazon! trust me it will help!

 

keep up the NC! trust me....i was not a pretty sight yesterday curled up weeping on my bathroom floor after breaking NC! and I am not letting that happen again!

[frangimond]

ok my turn for help........can someone ask her to come back for me......am i psychophrenic or what......

[Anonybrit]

Beginning of Day 2, easier than Day 1. Called my mobile phone provider to block her number but evidently didn't work, will try again and leaving my phone off for now. Could O2 be any more useless?

 

Keeping busy.

 

My aim is to move on and I can tell NC is the only way.

[frangimond]

pining....................

[BlueRizla]

Blaming myself again. Getting quite used to this now after breaking NC three times over the last 2.5 months. Still little acknowledgment on what I have achieved. She wanted me to change and told me I didnt want to. Really love? I was already changing. Have been for years. Didnt you ******* notice? I told you often enough. Its what I do..move forward..part of who I am...just not at your pace. What has she changed? Nothing! Absolute denial.

 

I tried my best to make amends. In fact i went beyond that. She still refuses to accept any blame as she would have to look at herself and then there would then be much less justification for her actions. In fact since i took the blame she hangs it all on that. I put it to her straight 4 days ago. I may as well have been talking to the wall Shirley Valentine styleee. I accept I will never see her again. Or maybe its at the point where she will never see me again...

 

Fed up trying. I'm happy to take blame.. just not all of it. I have made every mistake in the book. And at my age..what a way to learn.

 

I cant get out of bed today. Yuk.

[Lonewing]

This is now day 2 - I had to go back to Day one after seeing her thursday, running into her on Friday, and getting a good complete conversation in with her on Saturday. Things are much calmer now, especially for me; I have my closure. It is not how I had wanted it, if I ever wanted it, but then we wouldn't be here if this was just me. She's a person too.

 

And now she's cut off. I will receive messages, but that is all. I don't have to worry about that, though, because I know she won't be sending any!!

 

As the Op long ago said, you sat there and held her hand while she was breaking up with you - and now that she's done, what has she done? Gone and dumped you holding nobody but yourself, and you have yourself to blame!!!

 

Hehe, I also deleted her on Facebook. She keeps her long term friends there, she says. now why on earth do I want to be just friends, after I wanted to be so much more?? this is jsut letting her have her cake and eat it too No, she can't have her Cake and eat it too!!! I OBJECT!!!

 

Out withthe old...out with the old, and on to the new!!

[coolchick64]

Day 17

 

Thought I was doing better, but I woke up feeling fragile and edgy. Got to work, had a few meetings, and now I'm sitting in my office bawling. I have no idea where this came from. I want to go home but I can't walk out of the building until I pull myself together. I can't believe I can still feel so sad after this much time (almost 7 weeks since the split) and all the water under the bridge, my anger towards him. I feel like an absolute idiot. He doesn't care about me at all. He barely notices I'm gone and if he does, he's probably glad. Why can't I be like him? What's wrong with me?

[BlueRizla]

Day 17

 

Thought I was doing better, but I woke up feeling fragile and edgy. Got to work, had a few meetings, and now I'm sitting in my office bawling. I have no idea where this came from. I want to go home but I can't walk out of the building until I pull myself together. I can't believe I can still feel so sad after this much time (almost 7 weeks since the split) and all the water under the bridge, my anger towards him. I feel like an absolute idiot. He doesn't care about me at all. He barely notices I'm gone and if he does, he's probably glad. Why can't I be like him? What's wrong with me?

 

7 weeks isnt long by anyone's standards. Dont be so hard on yourself. There is nowt wrong with you. I'm 10 weeks post split, broken NC 3 times..If there's anything wrong with anyone its me! You're doing well. Have another look at that anger and see if you're blaming yourself again. My ex is great at NC. I don't even think she's doing NC..it just comes naturally to her as she doesnt want to be with me.

[ackerman]

been about 7 weeks for me now too and im still hurting so im in exactly the same boat as you coolchick and i feel exactly the same way. even though my last message was slightly bitter, it was hurt talking and how i felt at that moment. part of me wants to message her and say im sorry for the way I handled things on breakup. she kept me away, telling me not to talk for a while, saying she'd email me but didnt, being on her profile almost every day, it got me so upset. sometimes i wake up and still think im with her, only feels like yesterday im surprised i havent picked my phone up and sent her a morning text. i try to keep away from it but shes on my mind 24/7. im constantly wondering if she still thinks of me and if she misses me at all.

[frangimond]

ditto cool chick.......i'm not feeling very good at all.....

 

 

Day 16 bleh

 

just feeling very angry today. I was lied to, manipulated, and tossed aside. I didn't deserve any of this . . .

[coolchick64]

sometimes I'm tempted to contact him just so he can kick me in the teeth again. I'd rather hate him than miss him.

[lotus26]

Day 6... yuck!

Think i am realising he does not really care one bit, like nothing has even happened.

i hate this, i am getting in to the anger phase

[greyarea]

day 2. not long. but getting drunk

[frangimond]

day 2.......i want to be with her so badly........i might break today....i just might.....

[frangimond]

Yes i agree with the just friends thing. I think that is the cruelest thing ever. and so having cake and eating it too. I think that if you break up and still love each other it has to be cold turkey. clean slate. adios. good luck. its all about buidling back self esteem me i reckon!

[bravebird]

day 10 of the second round of NC. first round was approx. 1.5 months, then he broke it with an email, to which i stupidly responded. i'm having an especially difficult time as my daily commute and daily activities take place mere blocks from where the ex lives. i live in constant fear of bumping into him or hearing about him from mutual acquaintances coupled with the depression and sadness from him not signaling he made a mistake and misses me and wants things to work. today is really hitting me hard. for every mediocre day i have, there are four rock bottom days.

[frangimond]

i am gonig mad......i am only on day 2.......how is this possible? how is it possible to not contact the person you love the most in the world? its not possible.....it just is wrong....its just not right, my gut instinct is in agony.....