THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Puckdog27]

Day 7

 

Her birthday is Wednesday. If I get past that without contacting her, Im free and clear. I was the dumper in ths situation and dont know if its guilt or that I just truly miss her. She has been NC for about 6 weeks now. Maybe she is using it waiting for me to come back along? Maybe not. Oh well

[imjgh]

i made my decision to move on....she will NEVER contact me again even though she said to my face a week ago that she would.

 

my life has been hell for 8 weeks now, today i make my own decisions and they are based on what i choose to do....

[looking4ward]

6 days since I contacted him, 3 since he last contacted me. With this LC/NC thing it becomes easier each day not to put them on a pedestal. I am realizing the amount of crap I put up with- I wasn’t perfect myself but if he really thinks he is going to find a girl as laid back and amazing as me very easily then he had better think again… I probably shouldn’t have ignored things that were a problem- if he wants to try and work things out these issues are going to have to be addressed from his side as well. Yay, feeling strong! It’s so weird- we devalue ourselves so easily when we are rejected but I’m starting to feel good about myself again and the NC helps me view things more realistically- instead all “Woe is me!” blah blah blah stuff. After my last incredibly awful break up, and finding this forum, it has become easier to handle this “smaller” break up in the correct way, keep it up people, the perspective you gain is refreshing!

 

-K

[Jinky]

Its really funny i started this over a year ago and it worked. But funny how these girls creep back into your lives again. And now, maybe i'm back- the exact same way i was before. Same girl too.....

 

She is the most beautiful girl i know. Trully.

 

Just hopes this N/C thing can numb the pain and take it away again.

 

Back on the road again. I need a cigarette.

[imjgh]

again...

 

the first time was much harder...

 

this time i'm focused on ME!!!! and so far i like the results....i feel free, i let go of the hope....

 

if she called me right now it would be different.....not sure i would even answer it.

 

the thing is I KNOW she won't contact me, today, tomorrow or 3 months from now. she's running away from something and i can't help her with it, she wouldn't let me be there. so in the end she got what she wanted.

 

this time i followed my head instead of my heart. i made the decision for myself--it's been 8 weeks of sheer torture and i just want to move on and be happy....and i am

[ellie999]

finally actually counted....day 63 since i last initiated contact. * * * * thats a lot of days. i miss her like crazy still. know though its not a good idea to contact her. still wishing she would contact me. today was kinda tough. still just cant believe that shes gone. but im keeping active and busy and doing alright. workin on me. just wish she was still in my life.

[Puckdog27]

Day 8

 

Decided Im no longer counting days.

[joethe]

super dave, i want in but i cant exactly go NC because i have a 2 year old son together. What are the rules and regs on my situation?

[jarias2311]

Day 12.

 

Still miss her but finally exercised and had a good time last night. I will b playing bball again tonight.

[wish_on_a_star]

Only day 3..minutes seem like hours, hours seem like days, and days seem like years...will it get any easier? the pain is unbearable

[Jinky]

Yes. Not only WILL it get better NC is the only way it does get better. I was in the exact same place- a year to the day. NC got me free of her, eventually got her back in my life; the irony is im back here. Same place. Same girl. But it worked.

[Jinky]

Day 1, easy peasy. I know this works... so i'm sticking to it. Thank You Dave...

[ellie999]

day 64, doing alright. happy with life. getting out there, but i am absolutely in no way close to over her. i see a picture of her and my heart absolutely melts. still head over heels in love with a girl who doesnt want to be with me anymore after 3 years

[lionquack]

DAY 7 (24 days technically - foolishly broke NC on day 17)

 

Don't miss her anymore Think her about very little and when I do its out of hatred. I finally realised she is a bad person and I am too good for her.

 

She has also left the country so out of site out of mind.

 

Going NC and ENA have helped with healing considerably.

 

 

Also met a new girl who I really like and am in the process of wooing her.

[imjgh]

DAY 7 (24 days technically - foolishly broke NC on day 17)

 

Don't miss her anymore Think her about very little and when I do its out of hatred. I finally realised she is a bad person and I am too good for her.

 

Also met a new girl who I really like and am in the process of wooing her.

 

good for YOU lion....keep going and don't look back, it's not worth it

[imjgh]

i feel the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders when i accepted that it's over. i am moving on and although it's technically 3 days it's been 8 weeks since things forever changed.

 

in a way i am lucky things didn't keep lingering on....

 

ours was a relationship that was sooooo good i ask myself how it all happened and i know the answers--i am comfortable with the fact i couldn't change things, it was just meant to be and I made EVERY effort i could to be there and support her....but it just wasn't the answer....

[lionquack]

i feel the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders when i accepted that it's over. i am moving on and although it's technically 3 days it's been 8 weeks since things forever changed.

 

in a way i am lucky things didn't keep lingering on....

 

ours was a relationship that was sooooo good i ask myself how it all happened and i know the answers--i am comfortable with the fact i couldn't change things, it was just meant to be and I made EVERY effort i could to be there and support her....but it just wasn't the answer....

 

Good luck to you too. Accepting its over is the best thing for YOU. Eventually you will see the grass is greener too

 

I did not think i would meet someone else who I would find more interesting and concentrating my efforts on her has made it 100% easier to move on. No use flogging a dead horse.

[lionquack]

Only day 3..minutes seem like hours, hours seem like days, and days seem like years...will it get any easier? the pain is unbearable

 

 

If it makes it easier ...yes the pain will subside but will take time. keep busy. Come on ENA to vent. It helped me sooooo much.

[wish_on_a_star]

day 4, and I'm already getting those urges just to send him one email, its such a weird feeling but I just feel so empty whilst doing this NC thing...the worst part for me is, right before starting NC, my ex made it clear that in a few months, he wants us to talk again, see how we both feel and whether at that point, it will be worth saving our relationship, so these two months of NC is going to make me SO restless!

[imjgh]

day 4, and I'm already getting those urges just to send him one email, its such a weird feeling but I just feel so empty whilst doing this NC thing...the worst part for me is, right before starting NC, my ex made it clear that in a few months, he wants us to talk again, see how we both feel and whether at that point, it will be worth saving our relationship, so these two months of NC is going to make me SO restless!

my ex asked for 30 days nc...i gave it to her and hoped and prayed she would come back...she didn't. don't kid yourself, 60 days from now he might not even contact you. it was the worst 30 days of my life bar none...DO NOT MAKE the same mistake i did.

 

i want to paste something mrsoandso2009 posted elsewhere, i wish i had done this myself...read and then reread this, there is much wisdom in his words:

 

"Here's what you will do. You will be letting go, moving on, and also assessing the relationship in a more objective manner, in the days, weeks, or possibly months to come. Don't say that to her; what you say is: 'I see that you need your space and freedom right now, so I am letting you go with love. This means we can't be friends because that will get in the way of healing and letting go for both us. I want you to know that I am not abandoning you, but that this is really the best way to do things because you really need your space, as it would be selfish for me to be in your life right now as I cannot offer the kind of friendship you might be looking for. I'll leave the door open if you change your mind, but I'm not going to be able to put my life on hold for you. I'll be moving on and doing my thing." You do this in a sincere and loving way, and you really do it and stick to your guns. You don't give in until she gives in, which means you're not going to accept letting her have her cake and eat it, too.

 

We don't know what the outcome of that will be, but I can promise you the worst thing you can do is pursue her. This means you cannot take actions to try to be with her because you miss her, or want to hear her voice, or want to get back together, etc. Don't do those things because that would be pursuing. Any hint of you wanting to get back together will be a threat to her and will trigger those stressful feelings that actually push her further away.

 

Also, very important, is that you don't want her to think she has you dangling from a string. If she says she misses you, you say "thank-you" and do likewise in other similar situations. (i.e. she writes you an e-mail to say you are a great guy and she misses your friendship -- you say, "thank-you for the nice comments, I hope you are doing well, too). Get it?

"

[wish_on_a_star]

I just read that, it really helped me understand that yes, maybe he has gone forever. I can't even tell my ex all of the things mentioned above about me not wanting to wait around, because he has now deactivated his email and I dont have his number, he lives abroad so there is no way I can get in touch with him, until he decides to..the only thing I can do is tell my own mind, that I have to let go of all hope

[Qut81]

I called him today. It wouldve been day 14. I cant do anything right.

 

I was doing so good. I didnt check his myspace/facebook until today. Why am I doing this to myself? I hate myself so much....Im soooo angry. Anything sets me off these days. I dont know why God wont let me be happy.

[jarias2311]

Day 13..

 

Slept great. But when I went back to sleep again I dreamt of her and I broke NC. Thank god I woke up and realized that I didn't do that.

[hulk7280]

I called him today. It wouldve been day 14. I cant do anything right.

 

I was doing so good. I didnt check his myspace/facebook until today. Why am I doing this to myself? I hate myself so much....Im soooo angry. Anything sets me off these days. I dont know why God wont let me be happy.

 

dont victimize yourself..

 

be happy with yourself.. tell yourself.. im freaking fantastic..

 

maybe your pretending right now.. but some day soon you will be great.. and everyone will be wondering why your so freaking happy!

[Ekips]

Day 16,

 

Harder today than the last few days... I guess progress takes time. I'm trying to accept that this is over. I've realized I may have not been perfect, but I was always me.. the good and bad. I never cheated or thought of cheating or neglected him. I simply loved him for all that he was and more for everthing he wasn't... I know people are not perfect when they fall in love.. I do know that they must accept and are willing to grow with that other person. If he chose to look at everything I had to offer and decided that this is not what he wanted... I will respect that because it is his issue, not mine. It took me a while to realize that. Everyone has their faults... but it is never all one person's.