ellie999
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Everything posted by ellie999
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day 64, doing alright. happy with life. getting out there, but i am absolutely in no way close to over her. i see a picture of her and my heart absolutely melts. still head over heels in love with a girl who doesnt want to be with me anymore after 3 years
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finally actually counted....day 63 since i last initiated contact. * * * * thats a lot of days. i miss her like crazy still. know though its not a good idea to contact her. still wishing she would contact me. today was kinda tough. still just cant believe that shes gone. but im keeping active and busy and doing alright. workin on me. just wish she was still in my life.
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day 16 since she last contacted me, like 60 since i contacted her. miss her a lot tonight. saw some new pictures of her and she looked so great. i still really do love her with all my heart. i really wish shed contact me again. i know i cant initiate anything, as badly as i want to. i mean im in a great place and my life has been awesome these last few weeks, just missing her. would love to be able to show her that and how great im doing, but guess i just have to keep worrying about me and stay nc. id love to know shes thinking about me and misses me and cares about me like i do for her, but i dont see that happening. getting over someone you love with all your heart is just no fun
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day a lot.... well 11 since she last contacted me, 50 or so since i contacted her went skidiving today. just had an urge to do it. unbelievably awesome!
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day 42 had a slight relapse this morning. it always sucks waking up alone. just hurts so badly about her having a new guy. she was my baby for soooo long and just knowing this is actually happened sucks so much. but have a fun busy day planned out today so should get my mind off her.
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day 41 doing fine. still think about her constantly. miss her in the mornings the most when i wake up alone. wondering how someone who i loved so much and wanted to be with forever could break my heart the way she did. wondering why she doesnt want to be with me or talk to me and wondering why shed rather be with this new guy. i know im a great guy and dont deserve this. its just tough. i loved her with all my heart and she knew it. and i know she loved me too, still just dont understand. im trying to let go still just consumed by these thoughts. anyway off to the gym.
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day 7 since she last texted me...other than birthday texts its been like 40+ days. miss her like crazy. she really sucks right now though, saw pictures of her at the beach with her new guy. not happy. oh well, i deserve better. ya i loved her very much and want her back and am feeling very lonely but doing ok i guess. her best friend (who im not really good friends with) called me today because we were going to the same graduation party and she wanted someone to go with so i spent the afternoon with her. i looked great, acted happy, didnt say one word about the ex. so guess thats good because im sure it will get back to her. but i guess it doesnt really matter.