Getting back together really does happen!

[SeanCages]

Yeah. Me and my ex from long long back. We dated on and off but the last stretch was well over a year. In total it must've been 2 years. Anyways, she cheated on me, so she broke it off to be with the new guy. This was really hard, and it took me a very long time to get over it and actually getting something done about myself. Once that happened though, I was like, I'm never having that girl back.

 

So now, 5 years later, we sometimes meet up. She has been cheated on as well in the meantime, and she just did so much self reflexion, it's really fascinating to talk with her. We still have that amazing connection we had before, and if what happened, didn't happen, I might consider giving it another shot. Just because we both changed alot for the better. It took years though.

 

With my current breakup, I'm 100% sure that if we get back together within the month, we are destined for failure. She hasn't changed a bit and I wasn't very happy during alot of our relationship. I haven't changed enough either. I would give it a shot, because I miss her and am afraid to lose her. But nothing should happen before I'm ok with losing her.

[Improving123]

I wish people wouldn't say the promotion of the belief that one can reconcile is false hope. False hope is telling a kid that santa exists. Whether getting back with your ex is false hope depends on the relationship. If the one person is totally ready to move on then yes, it's false hope but honestly it's impossible to know. Overall this thread has been really helpful. I'm going through my first break up and I am both the dumper and dumpee in a sense. I posted about it under the thread "Can we reunite." I hope I can get back together with my boyfriend because he's amazing and I never wanted to lose him. I just sabotaged my own happiness really and put the break up in motion.

[Belenchi]

Bump bump ***

[Skins21]

Hey Ya'll. I've read through quite a bit of these posts and I've found that a lot of these relationships as well as the reconciliations happen in the early to mid 20's time frame. What about situations where an ex starts dating someone in their late 20's (27ish on). Do you think there is less of a chance of them coming back after something like this? That's one of my fears, that when ppl start dating at this age and if their new relationship lasts any significant period of time(6 months plus), that they are most likely in it for the long haul because they feel the new person could be the one they end up with. Would love to hear thoughts on this or hear any examples of reconciliations happening in late 20s early 30s.

[LovelyDani87]

Clearly there are no current stories of actual people on here getting back together. Everyone is posting about their grand parents or a friend's cousin sister getting her ex back lol has anyone on here actually got their ex back and are still together today?

[BrokenGator]

Clearly there are no current stories of actual people on here getting back together. Everyone is posting about their grand parents or a friend's cousin sister getting her ex back lol has anyone on here actually got their ex back and are still together today?

Anyone who eventually got back together probably stopped posted here! Haha

 

Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk

[LovelyDani87]

Lol that's true

[West Coast]

I have a friend whose boyfriend broke up with her. He didn't know what he wanted and wanted space. she did the usual, begging and pleading but she found the more she pushed the farther away he went. She then respected his wishes and let him be, as hard as that was for her. Six months later they were back together and have now been married for five years, very happy. He just needed to be sure it was what he wanted. It seems to be a theme, that the push, pull effect happens. They can smell desperation and it's a turnoff.

[Betteralready]

Hi All!

 

Haven't been here in a while, but back in April a close friend told me a story about her sorority sister:

 

Boy and Girl met in college and fell in love. Both are very attractive, sociable people.

Boy didn't have it together and constantly cheated on Girl. She was semi-aware and hung in there for a while, but finally, it became too much. Boy and Girl broke up.

During the breakup, Girl carried on, dated, and even had 2 boyfriends. Boy became alarmed and begged for Girl to take him back.

Eventually, Girl did. They've been married for several years now, and appear happy. Since being told the story, I've met them both.

Do with that what you will. I don't know timelines or details, but I also don't believe they matter.

 

Also, there is some truth to the theory that you hear less reconciliation stories because people don't always come back to report. As much as I love and relied on this forum during dark times, several months ago when I went "on-again" with my ex, I was so caught up in that (and life) that I didn't come back to tell the tale!

 

However, I don't plan to until I'm good and married, either to him (not looking likely as of now) or to someone else, lol. That's my finish line.

Anyway, hope this bump helped someone tonight : )

[mhowe]

Clearly there are no current stories of actual people on here getting back together. Everyone is posting about their grand parents or a friend's cousin sister getting her ex back lol has anyone on here actually got their ex back and are still together today?

 

Yep. See my thread "Reconciliation --- my Masters program"

[dilaroe]

I dont know if its me but I didnt see any story where gf dumps bf because of his bad behaviour and get back together with him.If she doesnt love and care anymore,its done IMO.Thats what happened to me.I read whole thread and I didnt get any hope,because I didnt see anything like my story.But I learned very good lessons...I learned to live my life and move on at this point.I have been in NC for 2 weeks now.I can see that she doesnt care anymore,its obvious(we're in the same faculty).But I am not that sad anymore.Because I deserved it,alot.Sometimes things need to happen so you can realize whats wrong with you.I apologized and confessed my mistakes to her,she didnt want to take me back.And I cant blame,she's a wonderful person,deserves better than me.Thanks for this thread and lessons,helped alot!

[Humbl3M1nd]

dilaroe,

 

In situations like that you can't expect someone to want to return if nothing have changed. Yes, we all apologize for our mistakes but that don't mean you've changed. "Actions speak Louder than Words", I don't know how long ya been together but Love don't just disappear but she prolly gave up hope that you become a better person and force herself to move on. I don't know exactly what bad behavior you've done but all I can say is time heals MOST wounds and you can't expect a band-aid to heal a bullet wound, so give it some time. Use this time to reflect on yourself and make changes, give her space and maybe she'll notice but don't force it on her.

[dilaroe]

dilaroe,

 

In situations like that you can't expect someone to want to return if nothing have changed. Yes, we all apologize for our mistakes but that don't mean you've changed. "Actions speak Louder than Words", I don't know how long ya been together but Love don't just disappear but she prolly gave up hope that you become a better person and force herself to move on. I don't know exactly what bad behavior you've done but all I can say is time heals MOST wounds and you can't expect a band-aid to heal a bullet wound, so give it some time. Use this time to reflect on yourself and make changes, give her space and maybe she'll notice but don't force it on her.

 

Thanks for your comment.We were together for a 11 months(we were close friends before that).I cant force her at this point,she made it very clear(although before that she was thinking to give me another chance) that her love is DONE.And I dont want her to be honest.If you truly love someone you cant be selfish,and I would be selfish if I accept her back.Because I cant just change in 2 months not even 6.Im progressing though,reading books,getting help and trying to read as many articles as possible about relationships.I truly loved her,did everything I could,showed her my love,supported her in everything,she was happiest person in the world at some point...But I did some mistakes,not cheating or physical abuse but mistakes that can hurt alot.There is actually no chance we get back together because she cant see if Im changed or not.And Im not sad.I hope she can find happiness again with another guy that treats her very well.

[BrokenGator]

Thanks for your comment.We were together for a 11 months(we were close friends before that).I cant force her at this point,she made it very clear(although before that she was thinking to give me another chance) that her love is DONE.And I dont want her to be honest.If you truly love someone you cant be selfish,and I would be selfish if I accept her back.Because I cant just change in 2 months not even 6.Im progressing though,reading books,getting help and trying to read as many articles as possible about relationships.I truly loved her,did everything I could,showed her my love,supported her in everything,she was happiest person in the world at some point...But I did some mistakes,not cheating or physical abuse but mistakes that can hurt alot.There is actually no chance we get back together because she cant see if Im changed or not.And Im not sad.I hope she can find happiness again with another guy that treats her very well.

All relationships have ups and downs.

Thanks for your comment.We were together for a 11 months(we were close friends before that).I cant force her at this point,she made it very clear(although before that she was thinking to give me another chance) that her love is DONE.And I dont want her to be honest.If you truly love someone you cant be selfish,and I would be selfish if I accept her back.Because I cant just change in 2 months not even 6.Im progressing though,reading books,getting help and trying to read as many articles as possible about relationships.I truly loved her,did everything I could,showed her my love,supported her in everything,she was happiest person in the world at some point...But I did some mistakes,not cheating or physical abuse but mistakes that can hurt alot.There is actually no chance we get back together because she cant see if Im changed or not.And Im not sad.I hope she can find happiness again with another guy that treats her very well.

All relationships have ups and downs. I think it takes two mature people to keep the relationship going.

[Stilllovehim54]

My friends broke up for 8 months and she dated someone else. She thought it was over though she had been devastated at first. They got back together and now have been together over two years and live together.

 

Other friends broke up because the guy thought he needed to experience single life. It was really hard on her and she did not move on. I think they still kept in contact and I don't think he actually dated anyone else, and just partied a lot with his guy friends. He must have realised that she was too good for him and got her back after 6 months just in the nick of time before she had completely given up. They got engaged 18 months after getting back together and if you ask me, he is one lucky guy.

[evam]

My friends broke up for 8 months and she dated someone else. She thought it was over though she had been devastated at first. They got back together and now have been together over two years and live together.

 

Do you know why they broke up in the first place?

[West Coast]

Found this:

I once had a boyfriend I adored. He ended it; I thought it could work; I persuaded him back; he ended it again. Double heartbreak. Later I another partner left me for his ex. I told him that I understood that it was complicated, and to follow his heart. Within months he was back, saying that it was me he loved. Years later, after a difficult time for all sorts of reasons, he decided to walk away. Although totally in pieces, I tried very hard to move on with my life and let him do the same. This gave him the chance to work out what he wanted - and it turned out, it was still me. Once he'd made a mature decision in his own time and his own way, we had counselling... years on, we're happily married.

[West Coast]

and another one:

Having had a break from my girlfriend (now my wife) and got back together again after spending time apart we have now been together 12 years and have two lovely children. I decided that I needed to have my own space as we were arguing, I wasn't happy and didn't see how things could change for the better whilst I remained in the relationship. There was no-one else. So long as you don't try to rush or force things you'll be fine. Maybe you will find someone else, maybe he will, or maybe you'll end up back together. But absence does make the heart grow fonder and although you may not want a break you cannot force the other party to do what you want. And seducing him would only provide a temporary respite as the underlying issues (whatever they might be) haven't been addressed.

[Hopelessdevote]

I posted a bunch of stories of people within he mid-20 age range on page 188. There are tons stories in this thread of people around that age group.

[Hopelessdevote]

Clearly there are no current stories of actual people on here getting back together. Everyone is posting about their grand parents or a friend's cousin sister getting her ex back lol has anyone on here actually got their ex back and are still together today?

 

The stories I posted back on page 188 are all current stories of people in mid-20s. Quite a few stories on this thread are current.

[Savsavsav]

This thread has really given me hope through my last breakup. I hope something gives with him, I would love to try again.

 

Almost every one of my exes has tried to make their way back into my life in some capacity.

 

Here's the thing, though-for those of you considering PLEASE think long and hard about it.

 

Trust me I NEVER saw this dude coming back. Horrible breakup. My ex ex and I were together for about a year, give or take. He was VERY emotionally abusive. I was devastated...I groveled, I cried, I begged, I pleaded for months. I would tell him I wanted to be friends, turn around and freak out at him. I lost over 30 pounds (A scary amount for my size) It was a nightmare.

Finally I started to resent him enough to cut ties. It took a few months. I went on a few dates, nothing special and dated someone for a little bit-also nothing serious.

Just when I was getting back on my feet again, along came douchebag. He was apologetic, showed up at work with my favorite things, said all the right things. Well we caught up and I found out he slept with one of my best friends and I STILL took him back. I hated him but for some reason I let him back in. I think it was a power move. Low and behold, dude vanishes out of nowhere again and who ended up hurt? Me.

 

 

 

Just be careful and make sure youre taking someone back for the right reasons. One thing I've learned about breakups is you've gotta watch out for yourself over anyone else at this time.

[Savsavsav]

That said...I've gotten back together with an ex "successfully" before.

 

I was in love with this guy, we had been dating for a short amount of time but it was very intense and real. I broke up with him because I needed to focus on school and so did he. It was extremely hard to do but I saw both of us losing eachother in this relationship.

6 months later, I went to a show, sat down at a table and my ex comes waltzing in. He looked amazing. The fire was immediately rekindled. I don't even think we had a conversation, we just eased back into it. He had been with other people, so had I but we didn't dwell on it.

Unfortunately while we were apart he had applied to transfer to Michigan. It was very hard to say goodbye but I'm glad I got a little more time with him and I certainly don't regret it.

[DeadInSid3]

OK so i heard this one from a good friend of mine. In my honest opinion, i do not think that reconciliation was the best option for her but anyway here we go.

Her sister was involved with this guy for quite some time(not exactly sure on most of the details as she just tried to comfort me on a dark day). She was engaged to this guy getting ready for the marriage. He moved away for work and not long after she moved to be with him. Not exactly sure on when or how this happened, but she found out that he was cheating on her, needless to say they broke up for a while. I do know they saw each other every once in a while at mutual friends party's and what not. 2 Years later they are back together, but she is not very happy in the relationship at the moment but she is still sticking around for some odd reason.

 

Again this just goes to show that even when all things look hopeless, there might always be the possibility for some sort of reconciliation.

[West Coast]

I keep remembering these stories! Two friends dated in college, he pursued her like crazy and she finally relented. They dated for a couple of years and got married. They separated for a year, they were under a lot of external stressors and let it get the better of their relationship. They stayed in LC but didn't file for divorce. He had moved away for work and after several months went back to see her for a visit. Two weekends visiting and they decided to give it another go. It's been hard work for them, they took a lot of intense couples workshops together and even went to some tantric workshops. They have been back together for about six years and their posts on Facebook are amazing. He travels for work quite a bit and they post really sweet loving posts to each other about how much they appreciate each other and both feel like they fall in love with each other again every time he returns from his work trips (which are definitely not suspicious as he goes out on deep sea oil rigs). They have a beautiful spiritual relationship now and that year or so apart helped them realize that they really do want each other. Sometimes you just need to step away from your relationship to appreciate what you had and realize that it's worth fighting for. Not for everyone and I'll admit, these two have a very high level of emotional intelligence and are spiritual.

[Jusstme1977]

bump!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!