LAYAAN Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 if you are thinking of dating a man that always seems to be going here n there with females, calls them his friends, but you have never seen him with a male friend, he doesn't talk about his male friends, what do you make of it? Is he insecure around males? Is he gay? I don't know what to make of this. I'm not sure whats going on. Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 do you KNOW he doesn't have any male friends? Maybe you've just caught him at a time when he's been doing things with his female friends. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted March 13, 2009 Author Share Posted March 13, 2009 he never talks about his male friends. I've always spotted him with 1 or more of his female friends. going to movies, sitting in class, at the gym. I've never seen him with a guy yet. Why? can't he stay away from females? why only female friends are needed? This doesn't seem right. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Tinu - and so the cycle begins anew... Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted March 13, 2009 Author Share Posted March 13, 2009 okay Ariel, why a sarcastic remark? Link to comment
Samedy Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I don't see it as a big deal because most of my friends are female... Most of my longer term friends are male though. I dunno. Ask him about childhood friends. Ask him about stupid childhood experiences, that should illicit some stories of mischief with old school mates. Link to comment
Maverick32x Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I would say 80-90% of the friends I have are females..... I don't know if this says anything about me... I really try hard to make good "male" friends.. but its not easy.... I have trouble starting that friendship..... "hey want to go get some drinks?" sounds weird to me to say to a guy... but I feel like I can call a bunch of girls I know and be like, lets go!! and it will be strictly platonic... I wonder what that says about me.. hmm... Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I would say 80-90% of the friends I have are females..... I don't know if this says anything about me... I really try hard to make good "male" friends.. but its not easy.... I have trouble starting that friendship..... "hey want to go get some drinks?" sounds weird to me to say to a guy... but I feel like I can call a bunch of girls I know and be like, lets go!! and it will be strictly platonic... I wonder what that says about me.. hmm... it means you probably understand women better!! And i say you probably know how to treat woman too. In my experience, men who are good and having completely platonic female friends know how to treat a woman well! Link to comment
grymoire Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Tinu - and so the cycle begins anew... yea.. same here... Tinu please tell us for the love of the dear lord why you have to analyze this BEFORE going on dates with him? Have you had a date with him yet? And what's up with the "if you are thinking of dating a man"?? As mentioned earlier this is probably one of your problems. People do not check backgrounds of someone before they begin Dating. The very purpose of Dating is to know the other person. It is pretty clear that you first want to check the guy's background and then go on dates with him. You are shooting yourself in the foot Tinu. So what if that guy is seen with females often? It just means that he has lot of female friends. Big deal I guess one fine day you will fall head over heels for a guy and he is gonna be on some forum asking a question that goes like "If you are thinking of dating a girl that is on http://www.enotalone.com often" Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted March 13, 2009 Author Share Posted March 13, 2009 ah, okay, thanx for explaining, gry. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 he may not have male friends, or perhaps they all live out of town. in any case, like grymoire points out, as you get to know them, you will see what it's all about. Link to comment
Yodabell Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 It's possible he just gets on better with female friends and maybe finds them easier to be around. Perhaps go out on a couple of dates with the guy first, get to know him a bit. You do seem to analyse lots of things about a person before you really even know them. I think you're putting alot of pressure on yourself to meet someone to have a relationship with. I found that when I relaxed, when I accepted that I was all ok with not being in a relationship, I enjoyed myself more on dates and didn't put pressure on situations or on guys. And that's when guys started asking me out more and taking more interest in me. It was nothing I said or did. If you shift in how you feel about yourself- that you're happy with or without a relationship, so if you started to date someone it's not the end of the world if it didn't work out. Link to comment
sosilver Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 He may have more female friends because women are easier to talk to? This was the case with this guy I knew. He said that he wanted to "talk" and his guy friends were only into ykno hanging out and doing guy stuff, not much for conversation. He said his guy friends were always goofing around....It was easier for him to have a conversation with girls - regarding school, work, family or future plans. So maybe this guy you are asking about has the same thing going on? You wont know til you get to know him as all the other pointed out. Link to comment
Samedy Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I would say 80-90% of the friends I have are females..... I don't know if this says anything about me... I really try hard to make good "male" friends.. but its not easy.... I have trouble starting that friendship..... "hey want to go get some drinks?" sounds weird to me to say to a guy... but I feel like I can call a bunch of girls I know and be like, lets go!! and it will be strictly platonic... I wonder what that says about me.. hmm... I never really thought about it, but pretty much all of my recent male friends are either a SO of a female friend or closely connected with one of my female friends (I hope that made sense). Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I don't really think I'd date a guy that doesn't seem to have any male friends. Did that before. A guy that is friends with many girls and as chatty as a girl. As flightly too. And temperamental and on and on. He's still in our lives - always will be a bit. And I'm still trying to figure out why he has no male friends. None. Are there other things about him that ring a bell for you Tinu? Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 ^^^ I wouldn't date a guy that didn't have any male friends either Link to comment
jcrisph Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 whats wrong with guys having all girls as friends or like just a few male friends Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 yeah, i agree that it's suspicious if the man posesses a 'harem.' but like i pointed out, maybe he has male friends out of town or something? i'd get to know him better before making judgements. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 i would think absolutely gay or 007. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted March 13, 2009 Author Share Posted March 13, 2009 Thank you, atleast 2-3 posters here can understand why I'm concerned with this. Now, I know people are gonna blast me for saying this, but I've tried to observe him from distance, asked some of my friends from his school about him (through someone else, not me directly). Everywhere, they have seen him with female friends. Class- sitting with a female, grocery shopping, asking for a ride from a fellow student, studying together with a female, going to a conference, even at the gym. What else remains? I know that he lives with males but he doesn't get along with his apartment mates. He himself said that to 1 of his friends. Like others have said, yes, I agree, I need to relax n take things as they come, but when this is in your face, everyday, something inside me is stopping me from responding to the coffee offer. Now, I don't know if I go out with him am I just one of those females or I'm considered a date? Nothing wrong in having female friends, but its obvious to a point that I've not seen him ever by himself or even talking with a man. Why? is he too afraid to interact with men? Is he so insecure that he constantly needs a female's approval that he really is worthy to be around? forget about a man or woman. Can't he function on his own some time? I've a female acquaintance just like him. She never got along with any females. Never had a female friend that she trusted. When I interacted with her, my reading of her was that she was annoying, clingy, n insecure. You ask any female in my school about her, all of them would say the same thing. She even said to me, "oh, girls trouble me a lot. I stay away from them." She was always with 1 or more males. That made her feel that she was really beautiful n worthy of getting a man's attention. Later on, someone told me- she eloped and got married. In case you don't know, a man can read other man very well. Same goes with females. When it comes to reading opposite gender, many people don't get it right. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted March 13, 2009 Author Share Posted March 13, 2009 i would think absolutely gay or 007. Yes, he admitted this to 1 of his female friends. She asked him "are you gay?" Now, on a side note, do you see how things leak out if all you have is female friends? If he had male friends, I bet you, I wouldn't know this. I know too much about him before going on a date with him, why? women, women. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted March 13, 2009 Author Share Posted March 13, 2009 he may not have male friends, or perhaps they all live out of town. in any case, like grymoire points out, as you get to know them, you will see what it's all about. can't he find new males to hang out with in town? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 i have a lot of female friends, but only hang with my guy friends when doing things. if i was to hang with a girl one on one, i'm either bangin her or datin her. or want to do one of those. if i was going to meet girls out with the boys, i don't bring girls. he's gay. how does he act, sound, etc? i know that would be a stereotyped question, but it might have some clues. Link to comment
sosilver Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Yes, he admitted this to 1 of his female friends. She asked him "are you gay?" Now, on a side note, do you see how things leak out if all you have is female friends? If he had male friends, I bet you, I wouldn't know this. I know too much about him before going on a date with him, why? women, women. Lol, this is true...you wouldnt have known anything about him if he didnt hang out w/ girls. And you are right to wonder if his offer for coffee is a date or not. After knowing this it would be hard to figure out. The question I have is, whats the point of seeing him? If you end up liking him then you have wonder if you will be ok with his girl friends in the future.... And it is not hard for guys to find guys to hang out with! In fact I think its easier for guys to make friends than girls.... Link to comment
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