my blood is boiling right now !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DN]

For me, it's not about the money. It's about what the FACT that he wouldn't spend the money says about him and his willingness to make sacrifices for her.

Well, again -those swords cut both ways.

[Greggie]

Well, again -those swords cut both ways.

 

Are you saying she should sacrifice her whole trip so that he can get there for free? Doesn't make sense in my world...

[cheekychic]

well he will be getting his own way as usual anyway so the matter between me n him is pretty much closed. he gets it the way he wants and i go without and if i mentiong it again it will no doubt turn into an argument so i know i just have to keep my mouth shut.

i will just have to accept it and try not to feel that upset when i know he is there and when he talking about it after

[mca1975]

ok yep.. i am a gold digger and all i care about is myself and getting money off of people and manipulating people to spend thier money on me and try to pull the wool over everyones eyes as to why i am doing something when the real reason is to get something for myself.

f-it ,that may as well be it then if that's what i am going to get told my reason for doing something is .. maybe i don't even know my own mind. maybe i am just crazy and i can't even see my own movites n really i am just a scheming money grabber???

who knows? find out in the next thrilling instalment

 

ha ha, yep, shame you didn't get your hands on that extra £12.50 from him eh, you gold-digger, (lol). I've never known anyone so selfish and cunning as you, "plotting away" to get your hands on £12.50 of his money!

 

(Joke)

 

Hope you break up with this guy.

[Greggie]

well he will be getting his own way as usual anyway so the matter between me n him is pretty much closed. he gets it the way he wants and i go without and if i mentiong it again it will no doubt turn into an argument so i know i just have to keep my mouth shut.

i will just have to accept it and try not to feel that upset when i know he is there and when he talking about it after

 

I doubt you'll be happy in such a relationship... One day, if he keeps acting like this, the glass will finally spill over and you'll have had enough, and it'll be too bad for him, because he obviously doesn't know how people in a relationship treat each other or even cares to try.

[Greggie]

ha ha, yep, shame you didn't get your hands on that extra £12.50 from him eh, you gold-digger, (lol). I've never known anyone so selfish and cunning as you, "plotting away" to get your hands on £12.50 of his money!

 

(Joke)

 

Hope you break up with this guy.

 

Hahaha, this is hilarious!

[hockeyboy]

so if the roles were reversed and she could go for free, she shouldn't?

[DN]

Are you saying she should sacrifice her whole trip so that he can get there for free? Doesn't make sense in my world...

I think that is an odd argument. What she is asking is that he make the sacrifice so she can attend. And he is saying 'no'.

 

That doesn't make him a generous man. But that is my point - no one has a right to demand generosity in others. Especially when that generosity cannot be reciprocated.

 

I repeat that I don't think this couple are well suited - money, or the lack of it, seems to be a recurring issue between them.

[Scorpion Fury]

well he will be getting his own way as usual anyway so the matter between me n him is pretty much closed. he gets it the way he wants and i go without and if i mentiong it again it will no doubt turn into an argument so i know i just have to keep my mouth shut.

i will just have to accept it and try not to feel that upset when i know he is there and when he talking about it after

 

sounds like this is about more than the train fare

[cheekychic]

LOL i like the 'plotting away' bit... first time i have laughed all day.

 

oh my head is severly frazzled... i don't know if i am coming or going. i seriously don't even trust my own thoughts or beliefs any more and am constantly qustioning everything i think. i need a nice big vodka ;o)

[Greggie]

so if the roles were reversed and she could go for free, she shouldn't?

 

Not if they had originally planned to go together, no... And ESPECIALLY not if her going for free, wound disable him from going at all (and HE was the one who originally suggested it and was really interested in NLP)!

[cheekychic]

if i could go for free i wouldn't do that coz i would much rather be with him then go for free any day

[Greggie]

I mean, it's not difficult to see what's right here. There are two options:

 

1) He sticks to the agreement, has to spend 25 quid or whatever (POOR HIM!) and they BOTH get to go.

 

or...

 

2) He acts like a selfish * * * * * , thankfully saves 25 quid which I'm sure somehow will make the sole difference of whether or not he is happy in life, and his gold-digger (NLP-loving) girlfriend (who originally suggested it) stays home.

 

Which makes most sense to you?

[mca1975]

so if the roles were reversed and she could go for free, she shouldn't?

 

well she could still go.... but if he really wanted to go on the course (as she does) and she knew this (as he does), then I would think she was also an unfeeling b***h for not agreeing to go along with the original plan and go together...

 

So if roles were reversed, it would be the same outcome for me, but it's not role-reversed. Why do a lot of men posters feel that this is a dig at men in general? its a dig at "this guy" for being totally selfish and unfeeling basically.

 

A woman is not a money-grabber if she is just trying to save money on travel (to the tune of £12.50) by travelling with her boyfriend, plus making it a chance to spend a couple of days together. He's obviously not bothered.

[mca1975]

I mean, it's not difficult to see what's right here. There are two options:

 

1) He sticks to the agreement, has to spend 25 quid or whatever (POOR HIM!) and they BOTH get to go.

 

or...

 

2) He acts like a selfish * * * * * , thankfully saves 25 quid which I'm sure somehow will make the sole difference of whether or not he is happy in life, and his gold-digger (NLP-loving) girlfriend (who originally suggested it) stays home.

 

Which makes most sense to you?

 

I go for Option 1 anyday, but I wouldn't bank on him buying her a can of coke for the journey up there.....

[cheekychic]

i feel that when i have the money though... i will do what i can do reduce what he has to pay.... for example... 3 weeks ago we went out to a big indoor rave festival in london... i had a guestlist and i felt bad that he would have to pay the full 23pounds for a ticket if i was going in for free so i asked him to give me 10 pounds and i paid for the rest of his ticket. so i basically paid for over half of his ticket even though i could have got into the rave for free and made him pay the full 23 pounds entry himself

 

if i can then i will help out so i am not this gold digger type you so think i am

[ProtestTheHero]

Why do a lot of men posters feel that this is a dig at men in general?

 

We like to think that we're more than a wallet with legs. Silly, I know.

[mca1975]

i feel that when i have the money though... i will do what i can do reduce what he has to pay.... for example... 3 weeks ago we went out to a big indoor rave festival in london... i had a guestlist and i felt bad that he would have to pay the full 23pounds for a ticket if i was going in for free so i asked him to give me 10 pounds and i paid for the rest of his ticket. so i basically paid for over half of his ticket even though i could have got into the rave for free and made him pay the full 23 pounds entry himself

 

if i can then i will help out so i am not this gold digger type you so think i am

 

Everything has just been totally cleared up here by that one single post. He's a tight-a*se.

[hockeyboy]

if i can then i will help out so i am not this gold digger type you so think i am

 

Now your putting words in posters mouths.

 

We don't know the whole situation. We don't know how much money he has/doesn't have..how much he spends on you in general. It sounds like he does pay for things for you and you help when you can, no?

 

If he's paying for you for a lot of things but not this one, then I don't think it's fair for people to say just because he's not paying one time, he's selfish etc.

 

Again, I don't know that it's the case, but that's the impression I'm getting. Correct me if I'm wrong and he never pays for anything for you.

[mca1975]

We like to think that we're more than a wallet with legs. Silly, I know.

 

Well I certainly don't think that men are "wallets with legs". I quite like to pay for myself as I'm too independent and have never really been 'treated' to things by men ie. presents/extravagant gifts, but this situation explained here is just plain hurtful and, to be honest, is something I would most certainly do for my boyfriend if he was short on money. This post is not about the money, it's about what he is NOT prepared to give up for her, it's the principle of it. He is not prepared to give up £12.50 in order that she can attend the course he knows she really wants to go on. Lame.

 

I got my own money.

[Silvery]

Breaking promises will boil me over any day, and i'm not even touching the money issue.

 

Just ignore the people who toil over the "gold digger" and "money generosity" issue, OP you have every right to be angry about this. Its still a month away, i think you can save up enough to go alone. Sorry that you have to, though. I feel for you.

[mca1975]

Breaking promises will boil me over any day, and i'm not even touching the money issue.

 

Just ignore the people who toil over the "gold digger" and "money generosity" issue, OP you have every right to be angry about this. Its still a month away, i think you can save up enough to go alone. Sorry that you have to, though. I feel for you.

 

Here here. He shouldn't break promises and let you down. I know how you feel OP, it hurts that he is prepared to go without you when he knows that you really wanted to go, its just horrible. Hope you get to go.

[Greggie]

Well I certainly don't think that men are "wallets with legs". I quite like to pay for myself as I'm too independent and have never really been 'treated' to things by men ie. presents/extravagant gifts, but this situation explained here is just plain hurtful and, to be honest, is something I would most certainly do for my boyfriend if he was short on money. This post is not about the money, it's about what he is NOT prepared to give up for her, it's the principle of it. He is not prepared to give up £12.50 in order that she can attend the course he knows she really wants to go on. Lame.

 

I got my own money.

 

I think Mca1975 summed it up perfectly in this post.

[DN]

A few days ago you were posting that you got unexpected electricity and gas bills and that you weren't sure that you were going to be able to put food on the table for you and your daughter because you had to pay these bills off over the next while.

 

 

 

This course in self-improvement costs 50 pounds ( does that include food and accommodation?).

 

I don't understand how you can even afford the 50 pounds plus half the gas money in the first place.

[Silvery]

Honestly, you are aggravating things DN. Can we just PLEASE drop the money issue? stop haunting her with that because thats NOT the priority of this thread.

 

Its about compromise and and promises. She was angry at him for breaking a promise which he sworn full heartedly, the money thing was only a deal that she asked in the very beginning because its beneficial to both party. She's angry because he'd rather go alone and not come up with any solution to the thing that she desire much, if you want to break a promise, make sure you have a plan B so you wont appear to be a hurtful selfish * * * * * .