I think my lack of libido ended our relationship......

[Need_to_know]

I'm 19 and was just dumped out of my first relationship after 7 months. I even lost my virginity to her. There were a lot of excuses for her breaking up with me like focusing on school. She did mention she wasn't feeling wanted when she broke up with me...

 

I was talking to one of her friends and I was told that one reason she broke up with me was because I never wanted to have sex.

 

I did want to have sex though, but I could not get it up for the life of me... it was the most embarrassing situation I've ever experienced... it happened everytime we tried. And when I would get it up I couldn't maintain it.

 

It makes no sense to me... before we had sex I would get a great erection when we would just kiss... and depending on how passionate the kissing was, I would even get the dreaded "blue balls" which says SOMETHING is going on down there.

 

Then we make the move to have sex about 4 months into our relationship and it was pretty successful the first few times then it went sour... I couldn't get aroused, couldn't get an erection... nothing... I've also never finished during sex, even when I could keep it up... but the "blue balls" I mentioned before didn't even happen when I had sex with her. And obviously "blue balls" come when you have been aroused, but don't finish.

 

 

I was really upset when I found out this is why she broke up with me, but I can easily see how it could hurt thinking your partner isn't interested in you anymore. Everytime my "organs" would fail in the moment, she would ask me "do you not think I'm attractive anymore?", "are you sure you still love me?"

 

 

I don't know how to solve this problem... this low libido is going to be an issue in the future with other women... what can I do to increase it??

[SapphireNoir10]

Its not a low libido. Its nerves. I knew a guy with the same problem. Your just not comfortable with sex yet. You have to try and be more confident and try your best not to think too hard about keeping it up and just go with the flow.

[solariseclipse]

It might just be that you aren't attracted to the person sexually.

[psychoanalytical]

honestly, if a girl dumped you for such a lame reason then either 1. she is way too h0rny, 2. It was an excuse to send u on a guilt trip so she can ditch you on the grounds that it was your fault, which would get it off her conscience, or 3. You guys didn't agree on things. I say good riddance.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

honestly, if a girl dumped you for such a lame reason then either 1. she is way too h0rny, 2. It was an excuse to send u on a guilt trip so she can ditch you on the grounds that it was your fault, which would get it off her conscience, or 3. You guys didn't agree on things. I say good riddance.

 

 

Yep, I totally agree. She was immature and made this issue all about HER rather than trying to be understanding of YOU. Good riddance to her..maybe you couldn't perform with her because subconsciously you realized she was not right for you....and the way she reacted proves it!

[Blue Streak]

Ditto to what the above are saying. Else, were you anxious in the process? Libido is based 100% on mentality. Your mind has the ability to sour the situation based on however you are feeling at the moment.

[psychoanalytical]

And BTW, "I even lost my virginity to her". Lol man, I suspect girls would be the ones who complain about lost virginity. I say you got a good deal getting laid (unless it was a traumatic experience for you). Look on the bright side, now you have experience and you're not a virgin anymore. There's always a silver lining. Unless you're Christian of course.