top bloke Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 Everyone is an individual and should be answered on individual merits. People post similar problems a Similar times because they were reluctant to do so? I am not sure? Link to comment
ErikT Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Everyone is an individual and should be answered on individual merits. People post similar problems a Similar times because they were reluctant to do so? I am not sure? It is also that when you read a post, you think, "Yeah, I have that same issue, but never realized it. My situation is similar, but different. Let me see what people have to say." On the original question, I also have come to realize that when I read/help other peoples problems, it helps put issues I am having into perspective. For example, how can I complain about my 2 year old waking me up in the middle of the night, when there are people out there that have been trying for years just to get pregnant? Or how do I complain about my wife (I hardly ever do!) doing (insert complaint here) when I read about husbands who get NO support/love from their wife? I don't know if it right to say this, but some of the problems people post are MAJOR ISSUES and it makes any that I have seem small and minor in comparison. It makes me feel a even better about my life. As well, when I read some of the truly trivial (to me) issues that people talk about and complain about, it makes me realize that all-in-all my life is good. my family is great, and I have a job..Again, as I write this, I almost feel guilty that my helping others is helping myself just as much. Link to comment
easyguy Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 When you say that you like helping others, you are assuming that what you say is going to be helpful. Maybe it won't help them, maybe it will. I like to think of it more as an offering. We are all under different conditions, so perhaps some things are just not possible. But I feel it is important to at least give someone the opportunity to refreshing mindset. Just my two cents. Link to comment
top bloke Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 When you say that you like helping others, you are assuming that what you say is going to be helpful. Maybe it won't help them, maybe it will. I like to think of it more as an offering. We are all under different conditions, so perhaps some things are just not possible. But I feel it is important to at least give someone the opportunity to refreshing mindset. Just my two cents. I like the thought of helping others as trying is the first step towards a solution. Link to comment
top bloke Posted February 21, 2009 Author Share Posted February 21, 2009 Guys... Someone pmed me today and asked me to telephone a third party and maybe visit them. They were in trouble . The only problem is that I am in Australia and they were in America. I couldnt help this young girl i could not help... I felt helpless but I am just flesh and blood... Forgive me as I do my best ..... Link to comment
NowandZen Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Service is the highest calling. Link to comment
top bloke Posted February 21, 2009 Author Share Posted February 21, 2009 But we can only give what is humanly possible .. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 In many ways I like the anonymity of helping through the internet rather than in person, it is easier to stay disattached from difficult situations. One of my friends just went through a crisis and I had to stay with her 40 hours straight and try to be both strong for her and firm with her. In those situations it's very hard for me not to poor all my energy into my friend and (so to speak) keep some for myself. At least here on ENA, I can log off and don't have to be afraid that I am abandoning any one in particular, because there are enough other people who'll be here. Link to comment
quirky Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 it just makes me happy to help, that what I say possibly matters, that i offer something. Makes me content Link to comment
sosilver Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Its easy to get caught up in our lives, but when I come to this forum, its a chance to help someone, a way to offer support, even if it doesnt make a huge difference atleast they know that someone is reading and maybe their insight will help. Link to comment
top bloke Posted March 1, 2009 Author Share Posted March 1, 2009 Guys I received this pm yesterday and I wanted to share it with you all.The author who I will keep anonymous wrote this to me out of the blue and I must say that I have received quite a few messages in recent times this just really went to my heart and uplifted me farther in my resolve to help others. I hope you guys like it.. I also want to thank the lady who sent it to me..you know who you are and they do say it takes one to know one. Link to comment
stella74 Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 I've learned that getting positive feedback and recognition for being of service is very valuable, but at the end of the day the motivation to help has to come from some sort of value system that values giving of oneself to others. Like TOV, I value teaching, learning and growth. I've had enough experience to know that giving is not always selfless, nor should it be. It's also important to know when your resources (emotional, intellectual, physical, financial) are limited. Someone can have the best intentions in the world, but no one does any good if he/she isn't taking care of him/herself. So I come here to help when I can and when I feel like it. I give advice and I ask for feedback when I need an objective perspective. I admire those who only come here to give support, without ever asking for help. But I'm assuming those people get their needs met in other ways. Link to comment
lost1607307474 Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 I like helping others and responding to people who need advice because I know sometimes I have been in the same situation as them and at the time probably wished that someone had given me some advice! More selfishly though, I also think I can learn quite about myself by the way I find myself responding to others. And top bloke you have given me quite helpful insight in a couple of my posts so I'd just like to thank YOU for helping! Link to comment
top bloke Posted March 1, 2009 Author Share Posted March 1, 2009 I like helping others and responding to people who need advice because I know sometimes I have been in the same situation as them and at the time probably wished that someone had given me some advice! More selfishly though, I also think I can learn quite about myself by the way I find myself responding to others. And top bloke you have given me quite helpful insight in a couple of my posts so I'd just like to thank YOU for helping! You are very welcome and yes I think your posts are always helpful to many people too I've learned that getting positive feedback and recognition for being of service is very valuable, but at the end of the day the motivation to help has to come from some sort of value system that values giving of oneself to others. Like TOV, I value teaching, learning and growth. I've had enough experience to know that giving is not always selfless, nor should it be. It's also important to know when your resources (emotional, intellectual, physical, financial) are limited. Someone can have the best intentions in the world, but no one does any good if he/she isn't taking care of him/herself. So I come here to help when I can and when I feel like it. I give advice and I ask for feedback when I need an objective perspective. I admire those who only come here to give support, without ever asking for help. But I'm assuming those people get their needs met in other ways. Good on you Stella. Thank you. That pm though was such a nice thing to see as I stay here trying with good intentions giving giving and giving more... I feel good to do it. Link to comment
stella74 Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 That pm though was such a nice thing to see as I stay here trying with good intentions giving giving and giving more... I feel good to do it. Yes, it was a really nice PM and I'm glad you received it. If you're not feeling good giving help, then that's a sign of burn out. I've been there! I taught inner-city teenagers for years until one day I couldn't do it anymore. I was too burnt out. Link to comment
top bloke Posted March 1, 2009 Author Share Posted March 1, 2009 Yes, it was a really nice PM and I'm glad you received it. If you're not feeling good giving help, then that's a sign of burn out. I've been there! I taught inner-city teenagers for years until one day I couldn't do it anymore. I was too burnt out. I feel regenerated by this type of feedback. . Link to comment
stella74 Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 Great top bloke! I was going to call you TB, but then I realized it sounded like the abbreviation for tuberculosis. LOL Link to comment
top bloke Posted March 1, 2009 Author Share Posted March 1, 2009 Great top bloke! I was going to call you TB, but then I realized it sounded like the abbreviation for tuberculosis. LOL Hahaha trust me in Sydney traffic ive been called worse lol Link to comment
capbit Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 I mainly do it because I know from past experience how difficult it can be for someone to have to go though a difficult time without any support. It's nice to know you're contributing something to help them get through the day. Link to comment
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