Batya33 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 looks are important is my point. maybe not as important to batya, but everyone has a limit. it's my point. not arguing with batya. don't be so concerned. Looks are very important to me but I don't define looks as limited to physical features. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Looks are very important to me but I don't define looks as limited to physical features. ??????????????? what else would looks be? or are you talking about everything you see: -facial features -body type -swagger -hand gestures and movements ?? that's all part of physical attraction to me. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 ??????????????? what else would looks be? or are you talking about everything you see: -facial features -body type -swagger -hand gestures and movements ?? I wrote what I meant in my post. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 I wrote what I meant in my post. i did and you put intelligence and humorous. my question was what you considered looks. i guess that would be everything else you listed. a simple yes or no to my question would have sufficed. looks are basically everything you observe with your eyes. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 i did and you put intelligence and humorous. my question was what you considered looks. i guess that would be everything else you listed. a simple yes or no to my question would have sufficed. looks are basically everything you observe with your eyes. When I wrote about intelligence I meant intelligent looking. To me looks are not limited to the physical features one sees in a photograph - it includes eye contact, body language, posture, presense, the way he carries himself, and the way he speaks - those are all part of looks to me. As between two men I would consider dating, where one has physical features that I find more handsome (in a vacuum) and one has physical features I find less handsome but the rest of his looks are superior in my subjective opinion to the first guy, the fact that guy number one has superior physical features (in my opinion) will not carry the day for me. I am not someone who checks men out from accross a room and decides just based on physical features whether I find him attractive for purposes of dating (I might respond "yes he is attractive" if someone asked me in general whether I thought he was good looking). That's the difference - the way I judged "looks" for purposes of suitability for dating was far different than the way I judged who I found good looking in other contexts. This thread has to do with how important looks are for purposes of dating and that is what I responded to. When I was a teenager and probably in my 20s I evaluated it differently becasue back then it was more important to me to have someone on my arm who others found very handsome (based on physical features). I was confusing "looks" with "attraction" and I had different priorities. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 so your definition of looks is different than mine. to me looks is the physical. it's the exterior, their movements, physical features, clothing and things of that nature. isn't looking intelligent still looks? what does an intelligent person look like? i'm not doubting one second that you must have looks to have some attraction, THEN you must find out by communicating and interacting with them if they are compatible enough for dating. i will never deny this. Link to comment
PoisonIvy Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Aren't looks the exterior, and personality is the interior? At least, last time I checked. Link to comment
grymoire Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 these type of threads usually confuse me..... at one point i thought that women go for more than looks and not just looks alone... but then again i have been rejected because i am not tall.... .... its like me saying 'i do not choose based on looks alone' and then turn down a girl because her boobs were a tad small Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 these type of threads usually confuse me..... at one point i thought that women go for more than looks and not just looks alone... but then again i have been rejected because i am not tall.... .... its like me saying 'i do not choose based on looks alone' and then turn down a girl because her boobs were a tad small everyone bases something on looks. everyone. except blind people i guess. BUT, you didn't make it past the initial 'viewing' if you will. so they didn't even get to the part to get to know how great you really are. but yeah, like you said, we size up girls just the same. Link to comment
grymoire Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 everyone bases something on looks. everyone. except blind people i guess. BUT, you didn't make it past the initial 'viewing' if you will. so they didn't even get to the part to get to know how great you really are. but yeah, like you said, we size up girls just the same. that's the key thing there ghost... it does not matter if it is a great guy or a great girl... if he/she is not perceived as 'attractive' by the opposite sex they get ruled out right at the doorstep... that stops their personality and character and sense of humor from making any impact at all... Link to comment
COtuner Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 I will always like to remind all the guys who harp on the importance of looks, never underestimate the importance of financial status as well. If you have a good profession/career or have a significant amount of assets, it can always compensate for having below average looks. Ummm.... no....not always.... I can always earn more money, I can't make the guy more attractive to me..... Link to comment
COtuner Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 isn't looking intelligent still looks? what does an intelligent person look like? It's in the eyes usually. Not sure I can explain it, though. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 that's the key thing there ghost... it does not matter if it is a great guy or a great girl... if he/she is not perceived as 'attractive' by the opposite sex they get ruled out right at the doorstep... that stops their personality and character and sense of humor from making any impact at all... that is exactly what i said man. isn't looking intelligent still looks? what does an intelligent person look like? It's in the eyes usually. Not sure I can explain it, though. but isn't that looks? exterior? Link to comment
grymoire Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 but isn't that looks? exterior? seriously this is a confusing topic, isn't it?!?!? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 i guess i can quote websters... look: -to gaze upon; the act of looking -aspect: appearance -looks: personal appearance that's always been the way i understood it. Link to comment
girl68 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 They instantly draw me closer or push me away based on looks. But there have been exceptions. Even if he wasn't what I'd usually be attracted to there is something that I do find attractive, which leads to me thinking he is cute even if it is in a "dorky, geeky" kind of way. But I do have to find him attractive in some way. Link to comment
grymoire Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 They instantly draw me closer or push me away based on looks. But there have been exceptions. Even if he wasn't what I'd usually be attracted to there is something that I do find attractive, which leads to me thinking he is cute even if it is in a "dorky, geeky" kind of way. But I do have to find him attractive in some way. thx for a very clear reply Link to comment
girl68 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 thx for a very clear reply You wanted me to be honest, I'm honest. There is nothing that is set in stone about men with regards to relationships, nothing. Shall I be more straight forward? If you're ugly, you don't stand a chance in hell. Now, doesn't that make me superficial? Link to comment
grymoire Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 You wanted me to be honest, I'm honest. There is nothing that is set in stone about men with regards to relationships, nothing. Shall I be more straight forward? If you're ugly, you don't stand a chance in hell. Now, doesn't that make me superficial? haha calm down girl68.. your reply was a bit confusing... kinda roundabout way of saying things.. i was just joking about that.. that is all.... i am not expecting you to date an ugly guy... and i am also not the person that started this thread Link to comment
CAgirl Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Yes, looks are important to me. You can tell by looking at someone if they take care of themselves and if they are comfortable in their own skin so that's what I "look" for and what attracts me. Link to comment
COtuner Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 that is exactly what i said man. but isn't that looks? exterior? Yes, I would say it's an exterior identifying feature, but a reflection of the interior How's that for confusing!! Link to comment
grymoire Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Yes, I would say it's an exterior identifying feature, but a reflection of the interior How's that for confusing!! you guys are so enlightening Link to comment
madmarten Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Well in fact now you are not talking about whether looks matter or not...just about where to draw the line. Well isn't this what it is really all about? Looks matter OK so the question is how much? It seems if you are above average looking you get to hold the bar higher, and if you are below average looking you either lower the bar a bit or wait a long time. Looks matter to me, of course but being a below average Joe, I decided it is more beneficial to focus on the inside. Link to comment
madmarten Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Yes, I would say it's an exterior identifying feature, but a reflection of the interior How's that for confusing!! It is confusing, I gets its a womans way of delivering sympathy and/or justifying that looks are very important to them. In other words it's either a good looking guy, and he is or must be nice so its OK, I am not shallow. (justifying) OR If the guys not as good looking then well he is probably nice so that helps makes up for it (sympathy) Link to comment
somethngwrng Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Unfortunately looks are very important and if they weren't I'd definitely have a lot less problems with my love life. I have had plenty of women express undeniable interest in me, however, extremely rarely one that I am attracted to physically. I even tried to get over my shallowness by dating women I didn't consider attractive. The problem is I just end up feeling sorry for them, and sorry for myself. I'd rather remain a dateless virgin for the rest of my life than date someone I am not attracted to. I hate being this shallow, but it's just unfortunately the way I am. Link to comment
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