How important are looks to you???honest!!!

[Ganjette_69]

Do you ladies focus more on facial features? Or do you factor in the man's body structure to determine his physical attractiveness? For example, you are looking at a pair of good looking identical twins; one is out of shape, the other is well built. Which are you going to do with? I know it sounds like an obvious question but you never know.

 

I look at personality first. I had a friend who had a thing for me. He is not the best looking guy but at first I did want to get to know him as a friend and I found him really sweet until I saw a two faced side to him

[CaptainPlanet]

A lot of this is just vanity in some women. They want to feel like they are better. Which is not fair because it puts down unattractive men making them feel like they're bad people. The truth is they're just not good looking.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

I can honestly say that yes you need a physical attraction. But no you don't have to think there all 10s. And as i've said many times over, physical attraction means less and less as you get to know the person. Sure for picking people up at bars you're just looking at the exterior. But in general if you are attracted to someone emotionally they will appear alot more attractive to you.

 

Besides, it isn't about settling, it isn't about being realistic. Its about finding someone who just clicks with you. If they aren't the prettiest creature, why should that matter? As long as you're not repulsed by them..

[solacean]

A lot of this is just vanity in some women. They want to feel like they are better. Which is not fair because it puts down unattractive men making them feel like they're bad people. The truth is they're just not good looking.

 

I think there is truth in this. I don't think women do it deliberately, and would shy away from the words "vanity" or "better"; I think it's just that women (like anyone else) want to believe the best of themselves, and who can fault them for that? But the end result is the same: guys who aren't sufficiently good looking to attract women end up feeling like there has to be a whole lot more wrong with them than just that, since supposedly "women don't care about looks".

 

There have been a number of times that a woman who has gotten to know me (usually through work, but not always) has said "You're such a nice guy - I'm sure there's a woman out there who is looking for you." The unstated part of that sentence is "I'm not that woman, of course, but there must be some other woman out there." It seems clear to me that when every woman says this, there isn't going to be one woman left who really is looking for me. In a way I find it humorous, very much like the squad leader who calls upon his squad for a volunteer for a suicide mission, and each man in the squad looks to the guy to his left until they get to the last guy in the line, who realizes there's no one else at his left to look at and goes "What? Wait, not ME!"

[JeckyllNHyde]

When you're dating...how much do strictly looks play a role in your interest level?

Probably 75% of my interest level. I need to be attracted to the person.

But alot of times if the person wasn't THAT attractive to me at first, their looks kind of grow on me and they become more and more attractive. Usually when we're just casually trying to get to know each other.

All the other times when a guy I was not attracted to persued me actively, it turned me off more and made it hard to see past their exterior.

[Kinetics]

Looks are subjective. She could be one of the most beautiful/hottest girl that every guy agrees. Or she could be someone who looks attratctive to me but not to someone else, and by that, doesn't mean she is not good-looking or unattractive.

 

For example, my friends find some girls in our social circle to be cute, pretty, hot, etc. Sometimes I just don't find the attraction, and again, that's not to say they are not good-looking, they're simply not my type.

 

A long-winded answer, but yes, looks does matter.

[solacean]

Being attracted to someone probably has some subjective aspects, but it turns out that pure physical attractiveness appears to be objective, just as I have always thought.

 

A few days ago I found a news story from last year (linked below) about a computer program that was written to analyze faces for their beauty, and it proved to be very accurate in predicting how attractive various faces would be perceived to be by a wide variety of test subjects.

 

link removed

[l0vel0rn]

This is a tricky question. Initially, very important. I usually will not consider dating a girl unless there is an attraction there. This means, if a girl were to try and hook up with me, it would only happen if I were attracted. I would not ask her out unless I was attracted. It’s a tricky question because I have had situations where I did not start out attracted, but over time I got to know the girl and began to develop an interest. Sometimes it comes from knowing that she finds me attractive. Other times it comes from simply spending a lot of time together and getting to know each other. Chemistry can develop, I am convinced of that. It will not happen in every situation with everyone, but it can happen. In the situations it has developed, it usually grows out of a friendship or some relationship where we spend a lot of time together. There is no pressure to be more than friends initially. So you just let your guard down and really get to know the other person. After a while, you really start to care about them. If it’s going to happen, that’s usually when cupid strikes. However, if any of those girls had approached me initially and tried to ask me out, it would not have happened.

 

Having said that, I agree with those who say looks have become less important to them. I no longer consider someone based solely on how they look. I did when I was younger. I’m not ancient or anything, but I do feel I have matured, and I look for so much more than simply a pretty package. I've found so much ugliness underneath some of those pretty packages. Honesty, loyalty, sincerity and integrity are a must.

 

No first date if I'm not feeling that physical attraction..... I'll add to that, though. If it's someone I've known for a while that I've grown to really like, the attractiveness level takes a bit of a dip because I've established a bond. But they'll still be within a certain range of my tastes.

 

So you’re saying you’ve thought someone was hot before, but after getting to know them you found them less hot?

[shy2cool]

Do guys looks really matter when just meeting/seeing random people during your daily life?

 

Some days I just feel really ugly, and others I feel rather good looking.

[afc_2_dj]

Wow, so much honesty on this thread, I'm shocked!

 

Now maybe we can have more honesty in the "looks matter" threads than the usual "oh no, women go for personality not looks" bunk.

 

Sure personality matters, but as this thread evidences .... not-goodlooking == no, not interested in giving your personality a chance, good-looking == yes i'll give you a chance.

 

Interesting the number of posters in the begginning where the male indicated that looks matter less as they god older as opposed to the females that said it got even more important!

 

Someone mentioned having financial status to compensate, but has anybody ever considered how many good-looking guys are also well-off? Theres no need for women to give a well-off unattractive guy a chance when theres plenty of good-looking richer guys to choose from.

 

Also, there was mention of whats more important, facial or body?

From my experience, facial features. I am athletic, not hugely built but not bad, but have an unattractive bone strucure, hair, etc. Hence no interest. I've seen women with guys ranging from bulked to fatish, the one thing they all had in common was a good-looking face.

 

On that subject, I regularly see better-looking men with less to much-less attractive women, its rare to never that I see an attractive women with anything less that a tall, dark, handsome guy.

[Batya33]

"On that subject, I regularly see better-looking men with less to much-less attractive women, its rare to never that I see an attractive women with anything less that a tall, dark, handsome guy."

 

In my experience it's the opposite, as a rule, but I don't consider "tall, dark" to be essential attributes of "handsome" or even preferable, so we probably have different ideas of what "handsome" is.

 

I never dated someone I did not find attractive just because he was well off. Fortunately I always had my own money as an adult because of my career choices. And that's typical of most of the women I know as far as their choices -- and why -- when they were dating/looking for a serious relationship.

[tina-rocks]

The most important part of any relationship is a mutual love for one another.

 

Initial reactions for people can be the look but that look depends on personal taste and preference. Each to their own....

 

I would look past the initial look of the person and go into the deeper side of things such as connecting souls. Eyes are the windows to the soul they say and I have always looked into the eyes as they can tell you so much.

 

If you feel better when you are with that person and they have the ability to make you smile. Laugh even and you feel joyful in their company. You feel equal with them not inferior. These things are more important for me then their initial appearance.

 

x

[SayWhen]

Physical attraction is important, but I find personality compatibility to be 100x more important than looks. He could be the hottest guy in the world but if we didn't mesh personality-wise then the attraction towards having a relationship would be absent.

 

I find that the less attractive men generally make better partners, because they put a lot of emphasis on personality. I actually was scared to start a relationship with my BF because he is a tall, dark and handsome type. Turned out that he also has an amazing personality...just got lucky I guess

[jammin_james61]

On that subject, I regularly see better-looking men with less to much-less attractive women, its rare to never that I see an attractive women with anything less that a tall, dark, handsome guy.

 

This!

 

Guys care a lot less about looks when a girl isn't accessable. A 10 (guy) would rather have a 7 that puts out than a 10 that is a touch-me-not; sometimes they will go lower.

[COtuner]

This!

 

Guys care a lot less about looks when a girl isn't accessable. A 10 (guy) would rather have a 7 that puts out than a 10 that is a touch-me-not; sometimes they will go lower.

 

But maybe the 10 is more relationship material because she isn't "putting out". I personally don't always trust the best looking guys because I assume they want sex more than a relationship, just because of the ones I've been around. It's a rare thing to meet a guy under 30 who is a 9 or a 10 and has his brain out of his jeans at least 50% of the time. (thank god I no longer browse that age group)

[jammin_james61]

Why does not putting out make the 10 more relationship material?

 

There's nothing wrong with a guy expecting sex if he puts most of the work in the relationship; sex is usually how women reciprocate, doesn't always have to be the case though. If a guy doesn't feel like he's getting out what he's putting in he'll move on; mostly likely a 7 who will appreciate him.

[yankeefan74]

But if you are in the average range, you'll be fine. Most guys are in the average range.

 

Unless there is a self-esteem or self-image issue which will pretty much wreck a guy's dating life.

 

if an average guy thinks, for whatever reason, that attractive women are not going to be interested, he's shooting himself in the foot. It's likely he's going to blame his looks, or blame women for just wanting Johnny Depp or money, whatever...the real issue is himself.

 

Christina Aguilera, Kate Beckinsale, or Jessica Biel may not beat down an "average" guy's door just because he's confident in himself, but confidence and personality are a huge factor in dating.

 

I think a huge percentage of guys are their own worst enemy. If women dont' throw themselves at them, or they have some tough luck on a dating site, they start believing nobody is going to be interested in them...they aren't attractive enough, don't make enough money, whatever. Those issues are going to be a far bigger obstacle to dating than his actual looks.

 

Why the heck would an attractive woman who is happy with herself, likes her job, has good friends, and is just looking for someone to spend time with and have fun with while getting to know him better choose a guy that has the self-esteem and confidence of a turnip? She might meet several guys who are equally physically appealing, but the guy that makes her laugh, that she has fun spending time with - even if it's a short, 5 minute conversation at a bar while he's waiting for a drink, is going to stand out.

 

This is one reason why women say confidence and personality are so important. It's because as you say, most guys fall into the "average" range. What will set a man apart to her is a guy that makes her laugh, expresses himself well, doesn't dress like he's in high school (unless, of course, he actually IS in high school...lol), gainfully employed, independent, etc.

 

If you spend years telling yourself you're not attractive (and it's obvious there are people on this site that have), then your behavior, actions, etc, will pretty much ensure that a woman isnt' going to find you attractive no matter what you look like.

[kamila]

I feel that looks matter a lot more to guys than to girls .. I feel strongly about that .. although they might not admit it .. very few guys will date someone who is "unfortunate" when it comes to looks (I don't have a better way of saying this) .. females generally seek strength and power in their partner more than they seek physical attractiveness .. my opinion!

[madmarten]

I feel that looks matter a lot more to guys than to girls .. I feel strongly about that .. although they might not admit it .. very few guys will date someone who is "unfortunate" when it comes to looks (I don't have a better way of saying this) .. females generally seek strength and power in their partner more than they seek physical attractiveness .. my opinion!

 

I am a guy, but think the opposite. I think girls like to "think" they are more forgiving than guys in the looks department , but in reality they are just as selective if not more so than guys. Guys may be more visual, but girls are more selective.

[jammin_james61]

I feel that looks matter a lot more to guys than to girls .. I feel strongly about that .. although they might not admit it .. very few guys will date someone who is "unfortunate" when it comes to looks (I don't have a better way of saying this) .. females generally seek strength and power in their partner more than they seek physical attractiveness .. my opinion!

 

I wish this were the least bit true; I've heard my sisters pick apart guys when it comes to their looks, cruel stuff.

 

A lot of women will trade of their preferences for looks for a guy with power and/or money. Some guys will trade their preferences for an accessible girl; for guys this remains constant throughout their lives. For most women they base their partners off of looks for the first 30 years of their life or so, and then the power/money factor comes into play.

 

It’s too bad that the only way I’ll be able to get a woman interested in me is with my money.

[corvidae]

Men are more openly interested in looks, and men like to talk a big game, but in the end most women can date no matter what their looks are like.

 

Women are the opposite: they often say looks aren't important, but then they will turn down men based on looks. Women are certainly fussier than men, and looks are one way this is expressed.

 

Believe me, this is true.

 

I feel that looks matter a lot more to guys than to girls .. I feel strongly about that .. although they might not admit it .. very few guys will date someone who is "unfortunate" when it comes to looks (I don't have a better way of saying this) .. females generally seek strength and power in their partner more than they seek physical attractiveness .. my opinion!

[KittenKaboodle]

When you're dating...how much do strictly looks play a role in

your interest level?

I won't date a guy unless i am physically attracted to him, otherwise he would end up just being a friend. And if there is no physical attraction, then there is usually no sexual attraction either.

I can't get turned on unless i find a guy to be easy on the eyes. Personality alone isn't enough for me. I kinda prefer the whole package. It's like keeping an essential ingredient out of a recipe.

 

Now don't get me wrong. Inward qualities are just as important, if not more. Because let's say a guy is really good looking but has no substance or lacks good character. Then it's like, what's the point? Its like a pretty gift wrapped package with nothing inside. What a waste indeed.

 

And what I think is good looking may not be the conventional ones. When i say i want someone good looking, i mean, according to ME. They may or may not be the conventional ones. Usually they are not. In fact its more rare that they are.

Physical attraction doesn't grow on me though, it has to be there from the beginning. But looks will get your foot in the door, i admit that. Then we can take it from there.

[ay0_x]

Extremely. I can't date someone I'm not physically attracted to. No one can.

 

I agree with this 100%.

 

I have tried. It has failed. My friends have tried. They've told me looks don't matter.. they've dating people they weren't attracted to, they've ended up thinking "Man, my ex was so hot".

[Jpo]

Very important unfortunately. I find there are only certain types of women that I am attracted to sexually, otherwise there is nothing. If there is nothing there for me, you may as well be a guy. I would love to be your friend, but nothing more.

[iLiveWithMyMom]

lol. Where are all these old threads coming from?

 

And who the heck would answer in the negative to this question? lol. It's like asking, "Straight guys, how important is it that your SO has a vagina?"