His mom died while I was there and he wasn't

[Alezia]

Oh, yeah ok that makes it more clear. I guess it was just the bad choice of words... =)

I did get the same feeling from the OP.

 

Best of lucks at keeping busy though, I know how hard it can be.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Sounds to me like you are trying to equate your situation with the OPs ex boyfriend. Sorry...read her other posts about how this guy treated her. Do not assume that your situation is exactly the same. You are projecting your own experience on something that is completely different...and you are also ignoring the fact that she herself had a bond with this guy's mother and family. I think you are taking this ownership and stalking theory to ridiculous proportions under the circumstances.

[MercuryRetro]

Sounds to me like you are trying to equate your situation with the OPs ex boyfriend. Sorry...read her other posts about how this guy treated her. Do not assume that your situation is exactly the same. You are projecting your own experience on something that is completely different...and you are also ignoring the fact that she herself had a bond with this guy's mother and family. I think you are taking this ownership and stalking theory to ridiculous proportions under the circumstances.

 

The only thing I see about his behavior is initial hemming and hawing, likely inspired by a desire not to hurt her.

 

Then they decide to be 'just friends' and the OP does something heinous. Like I said, having gone through the experience of having my mother die of lung cancer, I would find this kind of behavior deplorable.

 

I'm afraid it's despicable to intrude on a family going through something like this. She may have had a relationship with his mother(although it sounds more like she USED her relationship with his mother to stalk him) but it will never be as close as family. Not only that, it will always be contingent on his relationship with her.

 

I think if the OP was male and talking about a girlfriend, you would never have supported him.

[lady00]

I do agree with the sentiment that closeness with an SO's family is highly dependent on the relationship with the SO and after it's over, the person often needs to break up with his or her SO's family as well. At the very least, if still having a relationship with the family makes the ex-SO (person who's family it is) uncomfortable, then the other person must back off, IMO.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

The only thing I see about his behavior is initial hemming and hawing, likely inspired by a desire not to hurt her.

 

Then they decide to be 'just friends' and the OP does something heinous. Like I said, having gone through the experience of having my mother die of lung cancer, I would find this kind of behavior deplorable.

 

I'm afraid it's despicable to intrude on a family going through something like this. She may have had a relationship with his mother(although it sounds more like she USED her relationship with his mother to stalk him) but it will never be as close as family. Not only that, it will always be contingent on his relationship with her.

 

I think if the OP was male and talking about a girlfriend, you would never have supported him.

 

Wow, you make major assumptions all over the place..not only with this situation, but with me as well. I absolutely would have supported him if the OP was a male. This is not a gender thing..this is a humanity thing.

[VtecQueen]

Based on what happened at the funeral I am glad I went, my ex came out and told me was glad I was there as well. I wasn't "intruding" on the family by any means, for 4 years I was apart of that family, and even tho me and him broke up, I still wanted to show my support for the family and for his mom, who was a BIG part of my life as well. My ex was not mad at me, he was hurt by the loss of his mother, and took his frustrations out on me like some of you posted in here before. He still calls me, and says he loves me, which is uber confusing to me, but it's ok. I just think that things he's done to me in the past, I could not go back to him, so I've decided to move on, but we have a strong bond and I plan to be there for him if he ever needs anything as a friend. I don't know what the future holds but everything happens for a reason.

 

And the other girl whoever she is, was no where to be found the day of the funeral. He claims he doesn't want her, but he talks to her when he can't talk to me. I don't know if that's good or bad, but I'm not worried about it anymore. Whatever happens happens. I don't want to look like a fool for still wanting to be with him, if he doesn't want to be with me/has someone else (idk what's going on really), but I want to let it go and let life take it's course.