Is it okay to have friends of opposite-sex?

[Cognitive_Canine]

So i take it you are not a sex in the city fan? LOL

 

I just dont' get that one. I cna't say i like it. LOL samantha's antics just remind me of a tramp. LOL And carrie is too wishy washy.

 

I don't really understand:

 

girly vampire flicks (seriously, what happened to vampires?! Why are they every preteen awkward, shy girl's wet dream lately?)

 

Most romantic "comedies". I liked "the Wedding Singer" and "Just Friends"....that's about it....

 

Bachelorette parties with penis shaped cakes, suckers, candies, etc....

 

Shows like "Sex and the city", "gossip girl", "the hills", the "OC"......too much drama.....when I turn on the tv, I want to kind of escape reality. I don't want shows about people I try to avoid in my every day life.

 

Personally, I'd rather be playing Halo 3, talking about cars (which I grew up with by the way), talk about/play soccer, and listen to hard rock.

[Mythical_Suicide]

I don't really understand:

 

girly vampire flicks (seriously, what happened to vampires?! Why are they every preteen awkward, shy girl's wet dream lately?)

 

Most romantic "comedies". I liked "the Wedding Singer" and "Just Friends"....that's about it....

 

Bachelorette parties with penis shaped cakes, suckers, candies, etc....

 

Shows like "Sex and the city", "gossip girl", "the hills", the "OC"......too much drama.....when I turn on the tv, I want to kind of escape reality. I don't want shows about people I try to avoid in my every day life.

 

Personally, I'd rather be playing Halo 3, talking about cars (which I grew up with by the way), talk about/play soccer, and listen to hard rock.

 

We could be sisters!! LOL

[Cognitive_Canine]

Don't get me wrong. I like plenty of girly things. I love to dress up, own and love pink bras, love shoes, and value my femininity and gracefulness. However, all those things are things only I can enjoy by myself. It isn't something I can really share with a group of girls.

[JadedStar]

I don't really understand:

 

girly vampire flicks (seriously, what happened to vampires?! Why are they every preteen awkward, shy girl's wet dream lately?)

 

Most romantic "comedies". I liked "the Wedding Singer" and "Just Friends"....that's about it....

 

Bachelorette parties with penis shaped cakes, suckers, candies, etc....

 

Shows like "Sex and the city", "gossip girl", "the hills", the "OC"......too much drama.....when I turn on the tv, I want to kind of escape reality. I don't want shows about people I try to avoid in my every day life.

 

Personally, I'd rather be playing Halo 3, talking about cars (which I grew up with by the way), talk about/play soccer, and listen to hard rock.

 

OMG i know we digress but you mentioned one of my personal pet peeves. I simply CANNOT giggle over those things. I just can't do bachelorette parties. LOL

[Cognitive_Canine]

OMG i know we digress but you mentioned one of my personal pet peeves. I simply CANNOT giggle over those things. I just can't do bachelorette parties. LOL

 

I would find it disrespectful if my fiance had vagina shaped cakes, candies, suckers (if that is even possible) at his bachelor party. So, how is it more acceptable for women?

 

I just don't think it's classy nor something a bride-to-be would want to be remembered for.

 

I guess I'm a bit more innocent in that my idea of a good bachelorette party would be a very nice dinner all dressed up, ending with drinks back at a friends place (not drunk though). Basically a girls night out but a bit more expensive than usual.

[JadedStar]

Dang i feel like i need to start a thread to see how many other women hate bachelorette parties as much as i do. LOL

[ProtestTheHero]

I guess it's ok. It's not something my ex had to deal with because most women-oriented stuff is boring to me. I dislike Indie bands, chick flicks, slow music, drama, etc., so I just don't mesh with many women my age.

 

It wouldn't bother me if my gf had guy friends, but one of my ex-gfs felt the need to kinda assimilate into my group of friends. I adhere to the George's "separate world" philosophy on Seinfeld. There's "Relationship Tyler" and "Tyler the friend"...so as long as my gf isn't trying to invade/buddy-up with all my friends, I'm cool with it.

 

I don't see a reason to put these sorts of limitations on a SO.

[JadedStar]

I guess it's ok. It's not something my ex had to deal with because most women-oriented stuff is boring to me. I dislike Indie bands, chick flicks, slow music, drama, etc., so I just don't mesh with many women my age.

 

It wouldn't bother me if my gf had guy friends, but one of my ex-gfs felt the need to kinda assimilate into my group of friends. I adhere to the George's "separate world" philosophy on Seinfeld. There's "Relationship Tyler" and "Tyler the friend"...so as long as my gf isn't trying to invade/buddy-up with all my friends, I'm cool with it.

 

I don't see a reason to put these sorts of limitations on a SO.

 

 

See that type of mentality i can't deal with. I don't like the segregation. I DO like my own time with my friends, but never do i have the 'this is jaded friends and SO is not allowed in this circle". I think that breeds insecurity or mistrust.

 

My friends have become my SO's friends and vice versa. We are totally cool with that. In fact we encourage it. Our friends are a big part of our lives and i like to share these things.

 

If the Costanza mode works for a couple it's fine, but not all people will be able to deal with it so if you get an SO who is not able to mesh well with that hopefully a compromise can be agreed upon.

[ProtestTheHero]

See that type of mentality i can't deal with. I don't like the segregation. I DO like my own time with my friends, but never do i have the 'this is jaded friends and SO is not allowed in this circle". I think that breeds insecurity or mistrust.

 

My friends have become my SO's friends and vice versa. We are totally cool with that. In fact we encourage it. Our friends are a big part of our lives and i like to share these things.

 

If the Costanza mode works for a couple it's fine, but not all people will be able to deal with it so if you get an SO who is not able to mesh well with that hopefully a compromise can be agreed upon.

 

I don't know what she'd have to be insecure about when I'm hanging out with a bunch of guy friends. I like time with just the guys sometimes. Being around someone all the time and then bringing them along everywhere would get annoying. It's not that they "aren't allowed," it's just that I personally have no interest in hanging out with all her girl friends, so I'm not going to drag her around to go places with me and the guys if she's not up for it.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I'm with Jaded on this.

 

My boyfriend has some friends I've never met. But, most of his friends are also my friends. It's nice because it means that he is the same person all the time. If a bf acted differently when around friends, I would be alarmed.

 

The friends he hasn't met of mine, and those I haven't met of his is due to a lack of ability to meet them. Given I live so far away.

[ProtestTheHero]

lol, Idk why you'd be alarmed. For instance, I will swear a lot more around my guy friends than I will when I'm around an SO or females. I'll talk about things that my SO might not be interested in, go to places my SO might not be interested in, etc. I just don't feel the need to meet all her friends unless she really wants me to because the process at times is catty. In my first short relationship my gf's friends hated me, so I think that's turned me off to the whole "come meet my friends" experience, lol.

[Cognitive_Canine]

lol, Idk why you'd be alarmed. For instance, I will swear a lot more around my guy friends than I will when I'm around an SO or females. I'll talk about things that my SO might not be interested in, go to places my SO might not be interested in, etc. I just don't feel the need to meet all her friends unless she really wants me to because the process at times is catty. In my first short relationship my gf's friends hated me, so I think that's turned me off to the whole "come meet my friends" experience, lol.

 

Yeah, but if my bf is a too different person around friends, it would make me wonder which one was the real one....

 

My bf tends to be geekier around his friends. But, since he goes to the same college as pretty much all my group of friends, he's been hanging out with them a lot more. It makes me really happy that they mesh so well. That way I really don't have to chose. Unless it is a girl's night, that is.

[JadedStar]

I don't know what she'd have to be insecure about when I'm hanging out with a bunch of guy friends. I like time with just the guys sometimes. Being around someone all the time and then bringing them along everywhere would get annoying. It's not that they "aren't allowed," it's just that I personally have no interest in hanging out with all her girl friends, so I'm not going to drag her around to go places with me and the guys if she's not up for it.

 

the unknown always breeds a tiny amount of insecurity.

 

For me, i would be so hurt by this because i have the MOST fun when i am with my SO and his guy friends. As stated in prior posts i really love hanging with the guys. I can get rude and foul mouthed like the rest of them. I'd be feeling pretty cut off it this were an area i was not really invited to or wanted at.

 

I guess i am in a fortunate circumstance because he loves me hanging out with them as well. I am a bonafide one of the guys when i am with them and there is an unspoken rule that they do not act differently because a "female" is present. I knowingly realize i have entered a guy zone and they can talk raunchy and discuss the NY Giants all night long if they so please. LOL And i will happiliy join in.

[ProtestTheHero]

I suppose. Damn, that's one thing I definitely don't miss, though. My ex's friends were unbearable to be around. Plus, I like to have a life and people to chill with outside mutual acquaintances. Having the same friends can at times lead to a lot of awkward drama if a few people in the group are immature because at times people are taking sides and there's nothing you can do to get away from it. That's why I like to roll with my own crew -- I already know I can trust them with anything.

 

Now, JS, you are different then. I haven't dated anyone like that. If a woman is willing sit around with my friends and not get "offended" by small stuff or some dude swearing at the TV when freaking Gus Freotte throws a pick then I wouldn't mind it. Some of my ex gf's have thought that even when we're all with the guys that I should be paying special attention to them, and would act hurt if I didn't focus on them as much as one of my guy friends. That's why I wasn't really into the whole idea.

[JadedStar]

I suppose. Damn, that's one thing I definitely don't miss, though. My ex's friends were unbearable to be around. Plus, I like to have a life and people to chill with outside mutual acquaintances. Having the same friends can at times lead to a lot of awkward drama if a few people in the group are immature because at times people are taking sides and there's nothing you can do to get away from it. That's why I like to roll with my own crew -- I already know I can trust them with anything.

 

I do understand the value of being out with them alone sometimes tho. I do really really enjoy hanging with them, but sometimes i like to hang with my 'own' crowd. He has hung with my crowd too> But my crowd is not 100% females. It is an ecclectic mix of people ranging from the ages of 27 on up. Guys and gals. And the gals in the group are probably more raunch and love football more than the guys. LOL

Our topics range from politics, to football, to who can burp the loudest. LOL I do not partake in the burping contests but find them funny to watch. LMAO

[Cognitive_Canine]

 

Now, JS, you are different then. I haven't dated anyone like that. If a woman is willing sit around with my friends and not get "offended" by small stuff or some dude swearing at the TV when freaking Gus Freotte throws a pick then I wouldn't mind it. Some of my ex gf's have thought that even when we're all with the guys that I should be paying special attention to them, and would act hurt if I didn't focus on them as much as one of my guy friends. That's why I wasn't really into the whole idea.

 

That would bother me. I don't ignore my bf when around friends, but I would be annoyed if he depended on me for entertainment. Also, I don't believe in PDA.

[JadedStar]

When i hang out with the guys, i am one of the guys. LOL

 

They all know that and love having me around because of that. I don't like the picky female who has prerequisites for behavior when she enters man world. LOL

[ProtestTheHero]

Yeah, it's just awkward sometimes. One dude was dating a girl we knew from HS, and he was gonna come over and bounce some breakdowns/riffs off of us, so 10 or so of us set up our stuff and told him to come over. His gf wanted to come, he warned her that we were gonna be playing heavy stuff, and she said "It's cool, I like Nickelback and Daughtry." Needless to say, it made for a hilarious 90 minutes. I just tend to make judgment calls on certain activities that I feel most women would not have a good time doing, lol. If we're going to wing house/hooters to watch a game, that's probably another time I'd use a judgment call, lol.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Yeah, it's just awkward sometimes. One dude was dating a girl we knew from HS, and he was gonna come over and bounce some breakdowns/riffs off of us, so 10 or so of us set up our stuff and told him to come over. His gf wanted to come, he warned her that we were gonna be playing heavy stuff, and she said "It's cool, I like Nickelback and Daughtry." Needless to say, it made for a hilarious 90 minutes. I just tend to make judgment calls on certain activities that I feel most women would not have a good time doing, lol.

 

That isn't because she is a girl. It's because she is a dumb girl.

 

Okay, maybe that was a little mean....but...

[JadedStar]

Yeah, it's just awkward sometimes. One dude was dating a girl we knew from HS, and he was gonna come over and bounce some breakdowns/riffs off of us, so 10 or so of us set up our stuff and told him to come over. His gf wanted to come, he warned her that we were gonna be playing heavy stuff, and she said "It's cool, I like Nickelback and Daughtry." Needless to say, it made for a hilarious 90 minutes. I just tend to make judgment calls on certain activities that I feel most women would not have a good time doing, lol.

 

LMAO! see i would have laughed at a girl saying that too. Not that i am particularly into heavy stuff, but i KNOW nickelback and daughtry are lightweight.

 

Its funny because i refer to them as NickelDaughtry. They are so interchangeable LOL

But i am still female enough to like them both. But also know that GUYS do NOT normally like them, so i don't go there when in certain crowds.

LOL

[ProtestTheHero]

LMAO! see i would have laughed at a girl saying that too. Not that i am particularly into heavy stuff, but i KNOW nickelback and daughtry are lightweight.

 

Its funny because i refer to them as NickelDaughtry. They are so interchangeable LOL

 

I wish I could have taken pictures. Her bf plays lead and from the first note I knew she was NOT into it, lol. I was trying really hard not to laugh because in my head I count to 20 before I come in with the most ungodly scream I can imagine before heading into a clean vocal chorus, and she looked like she was ready to perform exorcisms on all of us.

 

Granted, my pool of females are pretty limited and at times I'm guilty of painting them with the same brush, but I try to give em all one chance lol.

 

I know a lot of women I could bring to football games, but not many that I could bring to rehearsal, lol.

[Mythical_Suicide]

.

 

Completely off topic but I like your avatar. Heh Hayden Christensen is sexy!

 

*resume discussion*

[ProtestTheHero]

Completely off topic but I like your avatar. Heh Hayden Christensen is sexy!

 

*resume discussion*

 

lol. I use it because I feel like him right at this point in the movie sometimes -- right at that brink where you can love and hate just as strongly simultaneously and you have to make a decision on what kind of person you're going to be.

 

On topic:

 

Obviously, I at times will make generalizations because I don't know any females like the ones on ENA in real life. If one would show up and shatter the stereotypes I'd be the first one to eat crow, lol. Unfortunately most I meet are the ones who never stop talking, they ask 50 questions an hour trying to keep up with conversations they know nothing about, and sometimes they try too hard and try to mimic behavior instead of just being themselves.

[JadedStar]

lol. I use it because I feel like him right at this point in the movie sometimes -- right at that brink where you can love and hate just as strongly simultaneously and you have to make a decision on what kind of person you're going to be.

 

On topic:

 

Obviously, I at times will make generalizations because I don't know any females like the ones on ENA in real life. If one would show up and shatter the stereotypes I'd be the first one to eat crow, lol. Unfortunately most I meet are the ones who never stop talking, they ask 50 questions an hour trying to keep up with conversations they know nothing about, and sometimes they try too hard and try to mimic behavior instead of just being themselves.

 

 

Man, dude, you need to hang in better circles.

 

Signed,

 

ThugLife Jaded

 

LMAO

[ProtestTheHero]

Man, dude, you need to hang in better circles.

 

Signed,

 

ThugLife Jaded

 

LMAO

 

College ain't the best of places to form/create meaningful friendships with members of the opposite sex because most assume you're trying to spit game and be manipulative or it ends up leading to something else. If you've got any tips on where to find NORMAL people, I'm all ears, but I'm surrounded by all sorts of craziness around here. I think that's saying something coming from me.

 

I always knew you were an OG, JS.