men, he signs off

[Zeitgeist]

Thanks but I like my posts as is. LOL gotta love the members who want to be a post coach. lol What one person deems as unsympathetic another might view as golden. Everyone has their own style.

*shrug* You're free to post however you like. I was only making an observation.

[Caterina]

When you say on reserve: you mean as a plan B? Like I don't matter, he's just keeping me as a side thing b/c he knows I like him and maybe he can get in my pants or something? I don't think he was like that, but hey, I could be wrong. None of it really matters anymore. If he really viewed me as that- then *uck him.

 

On the girls you were involved with, the relationship with the guy wouldn't last forever b/c shes still talking to you, hoping you'll hook up with her. If she really cared about the guy, she wouldnt' give a flying flip about you and you'd never hear from her. So you're right that it will probably end.

 

I guess I really shouldn't really even speculate over this stuff--- its pretty useless. Its over, and I accept that--- as long as I never talk to him again--- he can't ever hurt me.

[Caterina]

Yes, contact. But again, how hurt will you be if he hasn't changed his mind about ONLY being FWB? After all, you initiated NC for a reason.

 

 

You're right, I did. I will NEVER contact him ever again. Thats firmly placed in my mind.

[Caterina]

how about act like you never see him online and send him a message asking how he's been cause you haven't seen him online? see what he says.

 

have you ever met this person 'in-person'?

 

probably a whole different thread, but why do you want marriage so badly?

 

1) Nah- its all over. I really shouldn't speculate.

2) Yes, he was my best male friend.

3) Ghost, don't be mad-- but I couldn't even begin to explain that to a guy like you.

[Caterina]

You say maybe he just signed off to get your reaction?

 

I'm just not getting this.

 

You lied about having a boyfriend.

 

I suspect to get reactions out of him.

 

And ya say you don't play games.

 

What do you call lying about having a boyfriend and then wondering about peoples reactions then?

 

You're not getting it b/c you actually gotta read things I posted. I told this to another poster: there are some things I"m not really interested in when I posted this thread: women who feel the need to pick me apart. The thread isn't about me, its about him. I wanted to know what HE was thinking, and that was it. That is the ONLY thing I was asking. I just want to know what he was thinking, preferably from male views.

 

I never said I don't play games. There aren't very many games these days. I am a notorious game player, unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on who you're talking to).

[Caterina]

Heres what I think so far: he likes to play games. Meaning, he likes to do things that he knows will get a reaction, for this reason: his aim is to land an fwb with me.

 

If he actually thinks he could get an fwb from me, he's a fool- but I don't think he is.

 

Yes, its best that he hasn't contacted me. And its best that I delete him from my list. He's gone.

[Blue Spiral]

On the girls you were involved with, the relationship with the guy wouldn't last forever b/c shes still talking to you, hoping you'll hook up with her. If she really cared about the guy, she wouldnt' give a flying flip about you and you'd never hear from her. So you're right that it will probably end.

 

Yikes? From what I've seen, a woman getting into a relationship doesn't mean NC with her previous male friends.

[Caterina]

Yikes? From what I've seen, a woman getting into a relationship doesn't mean NC with her previous male friends.

 

Why do you guys keep bringing up stuff I don't want to talk about but ignoring the thing I am trying to figure out?

 

It doesn't mean NC, but it means a huge LC...its just normal- but if you don't think so, I don't really want to talk about that.

 

So you think I am jus tnothing but a sex possibility to him?

[browneyedgirl36]

I know that you don't want my opinion, because I'm a woman, but I'll give it anyway, because it might help someone else who might be in a similar situation.

 

There are MANY reasons why someone (a guy) might sign off when you sign on to MSN. The only way to know for sure would be to ask him and have him tell you the truth. Otherwise, it's just pure speculation. Some possible reasons, though, based on my experiences with men (particularly exes) and the whole "signing off" thing:

 

1) He doesn't feel like talking to you right then;

2) He doesn't feel like talking to ANYONE right then;

3) He's been online for a long time and was just getting ready to sign off anyway when you signed on, so he just goes ahead and signs off.

4) He's mad at you/hurt and wants you to know that -- i.e. maybe he's mad that you didn't want to be his FWB, or that you stopped being friends with him;

5) He's trying to draw attention to himself -- to make you wonder why he's signing off when you sign on. This doesn't necessarily mean that he wants to continue your friendship/relationship -- he might just be being petty/childish -- like "SEE! You broke off our friendship, so now I don't want to talk to YOU!"

6) He didn't even notice that you were online when he signed off;

7) He had something else he needed to do, so he signed off.

8) It's just a coincidence -- he didn't sign off just because you signed on -- it just looked that way.

9) There's someone in the room that he doesn't want to see him chatting with you.

 

You asked in an earlier post why he wouldn't just delete you. Well...again, I'm a woman, but I don't think that precludes me from giving an opinion based on my own experiences: I have no plans to talk to my ex on AIM anymore at this point (he is with someone else). However, I have not blocked him, nor has he blocked me. Though I have no plans to chat with him, I haven't blocked him because a) I don't want him to figure out somehow that I've blocked him and feel bad about it -- I'm not sure that it would hurt his feelings, but it might, and I certainly don't want that; I don't dislike him or anything. b) I don't want to chat with him right NOW, but I may want to at some point in the future, so it seems to make sense to leave him on my list. At this point, we're usually not online at the same time -- by the time I sign into AIM, he's asleep, usually, because he goes to bed pretty early, and I don't. At some point, though, I may sign on earlier, and if he IM's me, fine, but if not, I'm not going to worry about it.

 

Maybe this wasn't helpful, but my list above is just reflective of the fact that there could be MANY reasons why he signed off, some of which have nothing to do with you. I know that my ex and I used to chat online all the time, but there were a few times that I signed on that he signed off, and I didn't worry about why he was doing it. It didn't have any particular significance. I figured he just felt like going to bed, or he was done being online for the night, or he didn't feel like chatting.

[Caterina]

Actually, it was pretty helpful. I wanted speculations...I can't know for sure why he was doing that. I haven't talked to him in four months, so he wasn't signing off b/c he didn't want to talk to me, since thats a given...but the other ones are less clear.

[ImThatGirl]

Okay - I'll give you an answer to the question.

 

Why does he do that?

 

Maybe he doesn't want anything to do with you because he thinks you have a boyfriend now and are gloating about it. He liked friendship with you but it's became too much and he's no longer interested in communicating with you.

[Caterina]

Okay - I'll give you an answer to the question.

 

Why does he do that?

 

Maybe he doesn't want anything to do with you because he thinks you have a boyfriend now and are gloating about it. He liked friendship with you but it's became too much and he's no longer interested in communicating with you.

 

I don't think it became too much b/c we don't have a friendship.

 

In any case, I really shouldn't be thinking about this: I was curious, but there is a point where overanalyzing takes place:

 

It doesn't really matter anymore what he does.

[ImThatGirl]

I don't think it became too much b/c we don't have a friendship.

 

In any case, I really shouldn't be thinking about this: I was curious, but there is a point where overanalyzing takes place:

 

It doesn't really matter anymore what he does.

 

 

Yes, overanalyzing can be stressful and exhausting. Sometimes I choose to go with the "it is what it is..." Especially when recent history points towards things never working out with someone.

[Caterina]

Yes' date=' overanalyzing can be stressful and exhausting. Sometimes I choose to go with the "it is what it is..." Especially when recent history points towards things never working out with someone.[/quote']

 

As time goes by, I realize it wouldn't have worked out anyways. Sometimes you just don't get what you want. And thats not necessarily a bad thing, because something better may be around the corner.

[ImThatGirl]

As time goes by, I realize it wouldn't have worked out anyways. Sometimes you just don't get what you want. And thats not necessarily a bad thing, because something better may be around the corner.

 

Absolutely.... ! Good positive thinking!

 

I'm sorry though that this guy caught your attention and thoughts and affected you, Cat...