Will I regret settling down without too much experience?

[madmarten]

I thought about the last thread I started and it was pretty much a disaster.](*,)

So, I thought about what I am feeling, and I think I have a better idea of how to express it, that hopefully won't get me flamed out. My gf and I have recently gotten serious and talked about marriage in the future. But the thing is well she was the first person I slept with. I have dated alot that last couple years, but well nothing panned out. Anyway, we get along great and love each other, but will I regret not sowing my wild oats as it were?

 

Thanks

[SapphireNoir10]

Ah I posted a similar thread, but from what might be your gf's point of view. I was my boyfriends first and I often wander wont he regret not sowing HIS oats, and playing the field.

 

It depends on the person. Do you feel like your missing out? Do you want to sleep with other girls? If not its not a big deal.

 

Plenty of people stay with their firsts. You dont need to sleep around to be happy. Imagine if you dump her to sow those oats, and then you never find anyone as great who makes you feel as ahppy.

 

If you think shes the girl for you, and she fulfils you sexually then you should be fine. I mean I'd rather be happy and with one person than unhappy sleeping around.

[redhearts]

If you think about it too much, if your having doubts or curious about it, your going to end up cheating because its in the back of your mind. So just be careful and really think about this for a second. Do you love your girl? Do you see her being the only woman? If so then why do you need to go just have sex with others, its not that big of a deal.

[anggrace]

Im not so sure that's something you can predict. Some people who settle down when they're much older later find out that they're still not ready to stick with one person. It's always a risk when you choose to commit to someone. A risk that you might one day regret it. Id say the chances are greater though if you are already asking yourself these questions. I've recently become engaged and it's only because I feel 100% sure that I've found the right person for me and my future family. If I had any questions like yours, I wouldn't of made that commitment. Can I ask how old you are?

[StrawberryYogurt]

Only you can answer that question. Some people don't need to experience a lot of people/things before they marry, others do. But if you doubt, do not marry yet, that is for sure.

[madmarten]

Ripe old age of thirty.

[testcase]

Hmmm yea that is a tough one. I mean is it really what you want? I only wonder because as Blue said if you really love her and think shes the girl for you.. what would being "around" accomplish? I mean I know what your saying but I think it's different for everyone and ultimately it's up to you and what you obviously think you need to have a fulfilling life. If you don't think you can have one without getting "that" out of your system don't marry, also though you have to accept that fact that you will most likely lose her from your life.

[_Asti_]

I think it entirely depends.

I have only ever been with one person, and ending the relationship to date other people, be with other people, be wild and party, won't do anything for me. It would be the worst and stupidest thing I could do, especially since I know what I have is pretty damn awesome...

 

I know myself, I know I am not a promiscous person. Sexual activity is a private intimate thing for me. I have great sexual chemistry with my partner, and things are great. And the relationship as a whole is great, and mutual and I love it.

 

Going out to experience other people won't do anything for me. I know I will have no regrets. I don't need to know whats out there because I already have what I would be out there 'trying' to find.

Being random and promiscous and being with other people is not who I am, and never was. I know I will have no regrets about not having any other experience.

 

You need to decide how you feel, ultimately.

What is it you want to get from being out there, care free and spreading your oats.

What will more experience get you? What will that accomplish?

You just need to figure out what exactly you would achieve through doing this and if its something you want to do, and for what reason.

 

Is it worth losing something amazing...odds are once you get yourself out there, its only going to reinforce the fact that you're crazy about this girl, she's the one, you can't imagine sleeping with someone else, etc.

 

People gain 'expereince' and have experience because they search for what you already have.

[tangi39]

You can't plan when you are going to meet the right person.

 

You may meet them before you've had a lot of experience or after.

 

But I truly don't see why you'd feel regret about not having a ton of meaningless relationships if you meet the love of your life.

 

Conversely, do you want to give up the love of your life for a bunch of meaningless relationships ?

 

There's nothing wrong with having experience and dating people to find out what you want. But if you find it right away, what's wrong with that ?

[madmarten]

Thank you all, I definitely don't want to throw away a good thing. The sex does seem very good, and there is plenty of so far. I guess I shouldn't worry about it.

 

Idk, its weird, its just finally acheiving some success just puts the failures in perspective.

[MattW]

I guess you've already come to your conclusion, but yeah, that's something you'd have to figure out for yourself. Me, I'm 19 (20, in a few months), and getting "around" has absolutely no appeal to me. If I found the right girl, I'd have no problems settling down.

 

But, for me, there's probably a lot of factors that contribute to that. For one, I've never been in a relationship, never really found a girl I REALLY wanted to pursue (well, there's one, right now, but things are pretty much up in the air, with her, at the moment and having such low confidence, if I can even find one girl that'd go out with me, that'd be a big enough accomplishment in and of itself. The other thing is, I don't like the "unknown". There are too many random, unknown factors with chasing after a bunch of girls, it's just too chaotic, and that's not for me. At least if you find some one and you both make each other happy, you could probably last a long time, and you don't have to worry much about "Will I get rejected? etc.".