guys always look but

[Gratsy]

One thing though that happens a lot to me

 

A hot guy will look at me. Thats it. Nothing ever happens beyond that. What does that mean? Does it mean I'm imagining it? Does it mean they're attracted? How come nothing happens beyond his looking at me? Do I respond to it?

 

 

There was a time after my break up where I felt like I was ugly. I gave up on men and stopped caring because it became too hard. But all of a sudden, it seemed like guys started to notice me again after I decided I was not going to try.

[Samedy]

Well what do you do after they notice you?

[Gratsy]

Well what do you do after they notice you?

 

Just look back. Then he turns away and I go away to. Usually I look back b/c I'm amazed that a hot guy is looking at me and thinking that I must be imagining it and so stare a little longer to see if its true.

 

Sometimes I lift my eyebrows to seem innocent and try to play off that I am unaware of him looking at me.

[Samedy]

Do you smile at all? A blank stare could be giving the signal to "buzz-off" to the guy.

[jcrisph]

Yeah try to smile. Some normal looks give off a bad vibe even if you dont mean to.

[May_It_Be]

I agree. They might have actually approached you if you had smiled. Try smiling next time, and see what happens.

[Cassie]

When you catch his eye, smile and try to appear friendly and approachable. You may unknowingly be giving off a vibe that's spooking them from doing anything.

[Gratsy]

Its hard for me to smile. I've smiled before and the guy turned away and rejected me. I am afraid of smiling. Plus, I want to look a little longer at him to find out for sure if he's looking at me or if he's, you know, looking at some hot girl behind me or something like that.

[Samedy]

Well then don't smile at him. Smile about something else. Is there a scene in a movie or tv show that always makes you laugh? Think of that scene when a guy looks at you. That will make you seem a lot more approachable.

 

I think for some people, shyness can come off as snobbyness. Especially if the shy person is attractive because it's not expected for such a person to be shy.

[Cassie]

They're sensing hesitation from you, I bet. Do you consider yourself insecure?

 

I only ask because I've struggled with this problem before. Guys would look (hell, some guys would gapingly STARE like they were trying to stare me down, lol) - and it made me extremely self-conscious and nervous. Once I was able to relax and muster the courage to playfully smile (not at them, just about anything), the guys responded by approaching.

 

I tend to attract 'watchers', too. My friends tease me about it all the time. Watchers tend never to approach and seem more content to just silently watch your every move from accross the room. I still haven't quite figured these guys out yet.

[Batya33]

A man looking at you and finding you cute/attractive doesn't mean he's interested in getting to know you or dating you - he might just be admiring the scenery. I agree though that if you don't smile he has no incentive to approach you and may lose the motivation he had to begin with. I never think that a man who checks me out is presumably interested in getting to know me. Sometimes it's a non-event, sometimes it's flattering, sometimes I file it away to see what happens down the road, but it's a blip on the radar, if at all.

[Shudder]

If I look at a girl (no matter how good looking) and she looks back but doesnt smile and has an ice cold look, I tend not to do anything and probably won't look back. however if she flashes a genuine smile, then its more welcoming and I know she won't mind me talking to her.

[May_It_Be]

Its hard for me to smile. I've smiled before and the guy turned away and rejected me. I am afraid of smiling. Plus, I want to look a little longer at him to find out for sure if he's looking at me or if he's, you know, looking at some hot girl behind me or something like that.

 

If you keep staring at him to confirm that he is still staring at you, then the moment is going to pass and you'll miss an opportunity. What is so scary about a smile? Just because some guy turned away from you in the past does not qualify as rejection. Maybe he was just shy and didn't know how to react to your smile. Also, if he "rejected" you, so what? That's PAINLESS rejection, because it's coming from an absolute stranger and involves no talking or interaction. DEFINITELY worth the risk.

 

If you're so terrified of smiling at attractive men, how on EARTH are you going to be able to TALK to them if they DO approach??? For that matter, how on earth are you going to be able to enter into a relationship??? You're going to have to actually BE with that person. Scary stuff.

[LanceVanceDance]

Positive eye contact is a VERY common first step in approaching someone. Looking back without smiling can definitely be understood as a "don't bother" signal. You should smile and then turn your head away a few seconds later and return to your business. That way he'll catch your positive signal but the ball's in his court. And if he doesn't come talk to you, why would you feel "rejected"? All you did was smile after all.

 

I personally dislike girls who never smile and do not ever approach them.

[Clarity]

In what setting is this happening? I consider myself an attractive guy and I often make eye contact with women passing them by on the street, but even if they smile at me, I'm way too shy to make anything of it in a random pass-by in public...

[D_Lish]

I think some people are just 'smilers' by nature....and because someone simply looks at you on the street and smiles, doesn't mean they fancy you.

I smile a lot at complete strangers I pass, if they smile at me....it's known as being 'friendly'

 

In a different setting however, a bar, a club for example and a guy looks and is looking a lot, if I find him attractive, yeah I'd smile. I mean if you don't smile, it is sending the signal 'keep away'.....nobody is gonna approach you, if you don't look approachable.

But a bar or club is where I would expect a man would make a move on me, not in the street as I'm shopping....hence is why if men look on the street, I think nothing of it.

I never assume anything until he's there in front of me chatting and asking me out....

[george237]

Go up and talk to him. Ask him where the bus stop is or where a store is.

[ghost69]

are you sure this eyebrow thing you do isn't more like the Rock and you are intimidating him. 'smell what i'm cookin?' lol

 

but just make sure you smile back like 'yeah i see you.' and make sure it's nice and innocent. reel them in.

[Gratsy]

They're sensing hesitation from you, I bet. Do you consider yourself insecure?

 

I only ask because I've struggled with this problem before. Guys would look (hell, some guys would gapingly STARE like they were trying to stare me down, lol) - and it made me extremely self-conscious and nervous. Once I was able to relax and muster the courage to playfully smile (not at them, just about anything), the guys responded by approaching.

 

I tend to attract 'watchers', too. My friends tease me about it all the time. Watchers tend never to approach and seem more content to just silently watch your every move from accross the room. I still haven't quite figured these guys out yet.

 

Yes, I'm very insecure. Thats why I tend to try and figure out if they're actually looking at me or not, which causes the time to fly by.

 

A man looking at you and finding you cute/attractive doesn't mean he's interested in getting to know you or dating you - he might just be admiring the scenery. I agree though that if you don't smile he has no incentive to approach you and may lose the motivation he had to begin with. I never think that a man who checks me out is presumably interested in getting to know me. Sometimes it's a non-event, sometimes it's flattering, sometimes I file it away to see what happens down the road, but it's a blip on the radar, if at all.

 

See, I'm not sure if they're even looking at me. Maybe I'm imagining it. I don't know if he's actually thinking that I'm attractive.

 

If I look at a girl (no matter how good looking) and she looks back but doesnt smile and has an ice cold look, I tend not to do anything and probably won't look back. however if she flashes a genuine smile, then its more welcoming and I know she won't mind me talking to her.

 

I don't give an ice-cold look, I probably give a confused look, "ME?"

 

If you keep staring at him to confirm that he is still staring at you, then the moment is going to pass and you'll miss an opportunity. What is so scary about a smile? Just because some guy turned away from you in the past does not qualify as rejection. Maybe he was just shy and didn't know how to react to your smile. Also, if he "rejected" you, so what? That's PAINLESS rejection, because it's coming from an absolute stranger and involves no talking or interaction. DEFINITELY worth the risk.

 

If you're so terrified of smiling at attractive men, how on EARTH are you going to be able to TALK to them if they DO approach??? For that matter, how on earth are you going to be able to enter into a relationship??? You're going to have to actually BE with that person. Scary stuff.

 

The way I've gone on dates before is just waiting for some very aggressive guy to come up and ask me out. I've been asked out over AIM a lot after they've talked to me in person.

 

 

are you sure this eyebrow thing you do isn't more like the Rock and you are intimidating him. 'smell what i'm cookin?' lol

 

but just make sure you smile back like 'yeah i see you.' and make sure it's nice and innocent. reel them in.

 

The other day I was at teh beach and this absolutely gorgeous guy seemed to be looking at me in my eyes. So, I put my head down. Then, I waited a few minutes and looked at him again, to just observe him. Then, he looked at me again, in my eyes. He was with a girl though, don't know if it was a sister or something...b/c it was with a group of people, including grandmotherly types.

 

 

--

Common consensus seems to be that I smile. But some of you are saying that random passer-bys aren't going to normally come up to you. Thing is, I'm still unsure if I'm imagining it? HOw can you tell if they find you attractive or if they're just looking at you like they'd curiously look at a tree or osmething.

[ghost69]

stop looking away and looking back. when you first notice a guy looking, keep eyeballin him. not in a crazy way of course.

[Gratsy]

stop looking away and looking back. when you first notice a guy looking, keep eyeballin him. not in a crazy way of course.

 

But when I do that, they just turn away.

[ghost69]

But when I do that, they just turn away.

 

either they aren't attracted to you and just looked to check you out, or they are weak.

[D_Lish]

HOw can you tell if they find you attractive or if they're just looking at you like they'd curiously look at a tree or osmething.

 

You can tell if they find you attractive, because men tend to stare at a woman they find attractive, it's not just a look. If you catch them looking at you, they don't look away, they hold your gaze...

 

In my experience of men anyway...

[Gratsy]

either they aren't attracted to you and just looked to check you out, or they are weak.

 

Well almost every guy on the planet does that so I'd say that since every guy isn't weak, maybe its the first.

[Gratsy]

You can tell if they find you attractive, because men tend to stare at a woman they find attractive, it's not just a look. If you catch them looking at you, they don't look away, they hold your gaze...

 

In my experience of men anyway...

 

I know the look you're talking about. I keep staring at them sometimes to see if its that look or if they were checking me out, and then they look away. So they look at me for a prolonged time but its not a love-look, its a look. In my eyes.