Will not ask a guy out again

[desert_rose26]

Actually, will not put myself in the driver's seat again. It's just too much for me to handle. I understand now when people say girls should leave it to the guy to ask them out. It's more right that way. My recent situation...isn't even that big of a situation compared to others on here but heck, it's bothering me and I don't like it. He probably got scared of my voice or something..I have a low voice sometimes..not a girly girlish one. Anyways, that's that..the feeling of rejection all over me. gosh, it feels bad. thereforee, never putting that on myself again. It will take a few days for this freakin feeling to wash off.

 

I have been trying to keep myself busy..watched 2 movies, gone out with friend to a festival, planning on going out again next week (recently quit my fulltime job so that doesn't help) my family has a few birthdays...picking something up at work..and STILL not enough to keep me busy. I need to overwhelm myself in something...but WHAT? I can I do something to make this feeling wash off of me?

 

I'm NOT putting myself in this position again. Actually I won't even ask any guy out again...I will give him the chances instead!!

[desert_rose26]

I have come to the realization that having CALLER ID could have saved a lot of situations for me including this one. Why don't I have caller id...thought I could have done without but now I think since everyone else has it, I might as well view it as a necessary thing in life.

[annie24]

hey, don't feel badly! it's his loss. don't take it too personally. if anything, now you know how guys feel when they ask out girls, and that empathy will probably make you understand what guys go through now. don't let this get you down, just move onto the next one.

[DaBladeRoden]

Now you know how we feel when you reject us!

[desert_rose26]

thanks for the replies. But guys don't get emotionally attached easily...so isn't it a little easier for them to handle rejection? I get emotionally attached way to easily.... so it's double the pain.

 

So who here does not have caller id on their cell?

[thejigsup]

How do you think you will feel when a guy responds with, "Wow! I thought you'd never ask! I'd love to!" I've gotten that and the "No thanks." many times. You will never score a bulls eye if you can't handle a few misses. It's all in the game, don't personalize it. I like asking guys out, and for the most part, they like it, too.

[JadedStar]

How would caller ID have prevented you from asking this guy out? What am i missing here?

 

As for rejection being easier for guys, now come on...you aren't serious? They can take rejection hard too> They just end up experiencing more of it and over time develop a thicker skin. Same thing you can do unless you are serious about throwing in the towel.

[desert_rose26]

It's all in the game, don't personalize it. I like asking guys out, and for the most part, they like it, too.

 

I don't like the game...thanks though..just don't see myself putting myself out there like this again. Oh well, everything happens for a reason and I'm not just saying that, it's true. I'm not the outgoing type..I'm the shy quiet type so being upfront playful and flirty is extremely difficult for a girl like me. This experience has taught me to push myself to be more outgoing in situations like these and not to be a fool when it comes to guys I think I may be interested in.

[desert_rose26]

How would caller ID have prevented you from asking this guy out? What am i missing here?

 

 

I mean..if I had CALLER ID, I would have called him back. But I didn't because I wasn't 100% sure it was him although all my senses were telling me it was. Instead, I texted him. It's been 4 days since he called and hung up due to cell phone connection problems. I should have called back but I couldn't...caller Id would have given me the verification I needed to call back. So now he's not answering my text either. But if I called back that day, things would be different even a little bit ya know?

[Batya33]

I didn't find the rejection too difficult but I found that it was ineffective - for me and for everyone I knew/know to do more of the asking out. Asking out for the first date was not such a big deal but it was rare it was effective if the goal was a relationship. continuing to do more of the asking was completely ineffective.

 

I believe men experience rejection in the same way as women - no gender difference.

 

As far as your voice, if you don't like it, work on it - work on modulating it, do breathing exercises that improve tone (I am sure there are books on this subject - no need to get a voice coach) and make sure you smile every time you answer the phone and say hello. I work on my voice tone - it wasn't unpleasant but I do focus on making it as pleasant as possible. Definitely was an asset for me in dating.

[desert_rose26]

During the faulty bad connection phone call from him, I said "hello..hellooo??" and when I hung up, my family was around me and said I sounded like a guy. It's not the first time they've said that to me...it's been a reoccurring thing. It's ironic because I used to work at a call center and they said I had a very professional and confident telephone voice..and I DO, but only when I tell myself to sound professional. At casual times, I forget to make my voice sound good...but now I'm working on it....it will be hard for ex: sunday morning, sleeping in and hearing the phone ring.

 

I strongly believe the way I handled the phone call was a big reason for me to getting rejected. He got turned off by my voice! It's sad because the rest of the time, my normal voice is great. I just wasn't THINKING at the time.

[Batya33]

I doubt it had to do with your voice. I have rejected potential dates based on their voice (mean, too effeminate, depressed), but not when I've already met them in person.

 

 

Don't beat yourself up about this - what you can do is simply screen phone calls when you just wake up and can't modulate your voice.

[desert_rose26]

maybe, it could be anything but I'm still pretty sure it had a lot to do with my voice at the time. Anyways, yeah, lesson learned and am moving on now. thanx.

[littlestar]

his loss, dont stress to much over it.

[bostonbruins24]

maybe, it could be anything but I'm still pretty sure it had a lot to do with my voice at the time. Anyways, yeah, lesson learned and am moving on now. thanx.

I don't think it had anything to do with your voice.If you sent him a text message[are you sure he got it?]he should have responded right?If he hasn't I guess he isn't interested .