sademma Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 hi For many of you NC has been a relatively simple thing to do (not meaning that in ANY derogatory way at all) but when my husband left me we HAD to stay in contact because of the kids... anyway.... i asked him yesterday if eh wanted to stay over for the night as i was going out adn i would stay at my mums. he accepted that and as he had the kids in the afternoon he brought them back here and stayed here while i popped out to get some bits, basically he was here from about 3 until i left at 7.30. which i had no problem with. it was REALLY hard but things are amicable between us and i felt ok doing that. while i was out we texted a little bit and is resulted in him asking if i wanted picking up s i didnt have to walk home, i accepted and came back to here and was going to get some bits then walk to my mums. so we ended up talking just about stuff really. nothing in particular. i asked him if he thought what we had as a family was worth fighting for, and if he thought so then he knew what he had to do.... went to mums. we hugged and just seemd quite close, he told me he really didnt get distant to me, he has thought about coming home, but nothing really more than that. i had sent him a text saying i hope one day there might be room in his heart for me. he also said he felt i was pressuring him, which to be fair i probably was. and it was the last thing i wanted to do. went to mums. came home this morning and he was a bit distant again, i said i felt angered by his sister constantly texting him every time she knows he is here, every time we try and start talking his phone beeps and its REALLY annoying. i said i felt she was interfering in our relationship and that i thought if something is said, it should be between us, no one else. he just said, she doesn’t annoy him, she’s just very overprotective of him. Anyway, he stuck around and we played with our son for a bit, we even went on the trampoline together and just generally had a laugh. i asked him if he meant what he said last night when he said he has thought about coming home, but he said "if you are asking me to come home, i cant" that was left at that, i said i just don’t understand if we are both so unhappy why are we apart.. He said he thinks things will go back to the way they were, but i KNOW they won’t. We ended up talking my son out to the park together (bad move, i know but my son gets very upset when one of us goes) thought i could handle it but it was REALLY hard. Ended up going off for a walk on my own while he was pushing Sammy on the swings. i had to go and view a house so he ended up dropping me at the house and waited in the car with Sammy while i looked. when i got back in the car we had to drive into town so i could collect mine as left it there last night, on the way i just started crying, it hit me again hugely that i have lost pretty much everything. My husband, my home, my dreams, my future. we parked and he just asked if i wanted him to take Sammy for 5 minutes round the shop, i just said yes, got in my car and absolutely sobbed my heart out. he knew i had been crying but when he came back we literally just said good bye to each other, he said goodbye to sammy and just stood and watched me drive away. Normally we hug goodbye but i just couldn’t do it tonight, i wish i had but i was just so upset. i sent him a text later saying I’m sorry for him seeing me upset it was just that everything got a bit much and as i had said i wont contact him unless its to do with the children now. he replied with "don’t apologise, you can contact me without it having to be about the kids" i simply replied. i cant and i wont, im sorry. im REALLY struggling now, i felt like we were getting somewhere last night now i feel he’s back to his "i know this is right" thing. im just very very hurt and needed to write down what had happened because i feel so god damn awful tonight. its going to be a very long evening and im still so so sad Link to comment
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