Bob3000 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 First the background... My ex, Rubiya, broke up with me two months ago, after three years together. She said she didn't feel the same about me any more. She loved me like a friend. She wanted to see who else was out there. And to try to find someone more culturally similar... We did have our issues, but mainly these were outside the relationship. The cultural issue was always hanging over us: her parents would have had a hard time accepting me, and may have cut her off instead. I was having some personal problems: my dad had died, and I'd been badly hurt by my so-called friends. I hadn't sorted out my living arrangements - which also meant my previous ex was still too involved in my life. And I was needy. But I was always good to her. I always went the extra mile. And I hadn't seen this coming at all. So I was devastated. I got a little angry and a lot upset. We talked on and off for a few days, then I went NC. Two weeks later I called her. I told her I was sorting out my issues, that I could see where I'd gone wrong and how I could do better. She said she didn't want to be talked into taking me back, but we had a good chat. I asked her not to contact me unless she wanted to talk about getting back together, and she agreed. I've been full NC ever since... Now the plan... In a little over a week there's an event I'm sure she'd like to go to. One that we've been to (and enjoyed) together before, and I'm not sure who else she'd go with. So I'm thinking of asking her to come with me, and showing her that I'm the best version of me ever. My hope is that, even if she doesn't fall back in love with me, then she'll at least be left with a more favourable impression than the last time we met, and may reconsider in future. But I'm torn. I think I'll regret it if I don't do this. But I think that if we do get back together I'll find it very hard to feel secure in the relationship. (This was the second time she'd broken up with me.) It's possible that there is someone else in her life. She has denied it, but I know that a guy that she was interested in before me, and who she stayed in touch with, became single again shortly before she broke up with me... Any advice? Not just on whether or not to do it, or how to behave, but on what to do if she says "I don't think it's a good idea", "I can't make it", "I don't want to", "I'm seeing someone else", etc. Thanks, Bob Link to comment
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