WlknCntrdiction

Day 2. Yesterday I wasn't feeling so good wondering if I had done the right thing. Today there's no doubt in my mind that it was the right thing to do, I had to get out of there before I lost my mind and stayed around even though nothing was going to change. At least now I haven't fallen in so deep that it's hard for me to get out. She still has me on msn as I saw her online when I got on, didn't have the urge to talk to her like I used to, I put my foot down and said we can't talk, if I did I would go back on myself and appear weak, I tell myself this everytime I get the feeling to want to talk to her. I'm going out with other girls so it's not like I don't have other things to occupy me, she's always in the back of my mind though, however she's right back where she belongs, in the deepest, darkest reaches where I won't think of her so much. All in all I feel good.

Does it specifically have to be upto 30 days? Because it just feels good to post how I'm feeling each day, well at least until I'm completely over my ex, which I think I am to a certain point but am not sure. Day 34: Met friend I hadn't seen in a long time, reassures me the "honeymoon" period for my ex and my "friend" is almost certainly over by now, or if not at least by the end of the month. Puts a smile on my face but I tell him it's not my problem anymore and that I'm "improving" myself. I would be lying if I said I didn't still miss her but right now I'm just rolling with the punches, strictly NC. Though I think about how we left things, we left them so badly and I'm afraid that will affect her coming back but then I reassure myself that she will, she needs me, I don't need her. I can move on without her even if she doesn't come back, and that's what I have to do now. Be strong Mat, you've lasted this long, you can go even further

Day 31. I'm going to skip ahead to now if you guys don't mind, I'll put down what I can remember from how I felt over the past month. Day 1. Day after she initiates NC, feeling gutted that I'll never speak to her again, she's most likely taken me off msn so at least now I can really move on without any distractions. Day 8. She pops up on msn after I thought she almost certainly would have deleted me from it. I'm not going to talk her, she told me never to contact her again so I'm not going to go against her word now, especially when it could make things alot worse. Day 15. Whilst on msn and seeing her come online I don't have that feeling in my heart whereby I want to talk to her, even when I pull up her window I have no feeling. I'm cured Happiest day of life. Day 22. Been having alot more fun out with the lads, dancing(something I thought I would never ever do), talking to new people and just generally being myself, I feel F'ing great and nothing can get me down. Day 29. Starting to miss her slightly but every time I think of her I tell myself I'm better off without her and the thought is gone, though I still remember all the things we used to do and it makes me sad we're not together anymore I don't feel the need to contact her. Listening to some music will help Day 30. The thoughts are coming back again but again they're not very strong and diminished straight away. I so wish she was here now My heart keeps overriding my head, now it needs to stop once and for all. Day 31. Today. Miss her greatly. Hope she's happy with my "friend". I keep Zorbas advice in my head about rebound relationships and know deep down she will be back soon. Until then I have to be strong, and not just physically speaking either, but then again I shouldn't be waiting for her, I should be moving on. Got alot of parties coming up in the month, the girls at all of them will keep my mind off her

Man, wish I'd found this site and thread a month ago lol. It's actually a month to the day today that I've not made contact with my ex, she hasn't contacted me either but tbh I couldn't care less, I'm having too much fun with myself.