For the guys. Be the selector. It'll help

[Lastlaugh637]

Since me posting techniques seems to cause an uproar I'll stick to certain attitudes and beliefs guys should have. With a few examples. I do this to help out you lonely guys. I'm actually in that position right now. Being in a foreign country where I know no one. I just arrived yesterday so I'll see what I can accomplish from scratch. Anyways.... Let's move on

 

Be the prize! No matter what people tell you. You should not chase the girl. Make her chase you! Nothing is ever 50/50. If you look around in the media you'll see the message that men should chase women. We have to buy her drinks, take her to expensive dinners, buy her jewelry... Etc to prove ourselves to her and eventually she'll be happy and say yes!

 

Many of you know that is BS. Complete BS. Buying a woman most of those things kills attraction. I'm not saying never buy a woman a drink or spend any money on her. You can sometimes...but it much better to show her you think about her through other means.

 

Never try a list your qualities to a girl in hopes she will approve and you'll meet your standards. Completely wrong attitude.

 

You need to make her chase you. Well how do you to that? Let her know you have standards and you are picky. And occasionally in a flirty way let her no that she is losing points with you and quickly. This is key. You want to say these things in a way that makes her think. Is he serious or joking?

 

Example. If a girl says she "hates people" I know a few that say this. Respond with something like. "You know at first I was beginning to like you, but now I don't know. I only like girls who are social"

 

Make her qualify to you. Make her explain why she is cool interesting person. This flips everything around and suddenly it seems she is the one trying to win you over.

 

Example

Ask her something like this.

 

"You know I'm curious about you, so help me out. If you had to name 3 good qualities about yourself what would they be? And they can't be about your looks or what you do.

 

Or

 

To be more direct say something like

 

You seem cool, but I'm still not sure. So you have 20 seconds to convince me you are fun and interesting person.

[HeartGoesOn]

My advice to you is..."Don't quit your day job."

[raffi_FL]

I agree with this partially. I think it is good to believe in yourself and let others come to you instead of running around trying to impress them. It is healthy to stick to your own standards and not look for approval desperately.

 

However, if a guy said things like you suggested above to me I would probably have a big urge to kick him and leave. First example sounds like a job interview and the second sounds like a * * * * * .

[jettison]

You seem cool, but I'm still not sure. So you have 20 seconds to convince me you are fun and interesting person.

 

If some woman said this to me, I'd get up from the dinner table, thank her for the brief conversation and the pointless pleasantries, and then walk away. This is so obviously some game that you'd have to be quite dull not to pick up on it. And, since dull women aren't all that interesting to me, if I feed her those lines, and she chomps down on the bait, I'm going to lose a little too much respect for her.

 

Many of you know that is BS. Complete BS. Buying a woman most of those things kills attraction.

 

Right and wrong. If you're buying a woman gifts that aren't appropriate for your level of established intimacy in an attempt to win her favor, then you will get disrespected. Afterall, you're trying to win a prize, not communicate with a flesh and blood person who is just as smart, and in the case of a guy feeding her lame lines, likely much smarter then you are. However, if the bond is established, and the attraction is there, I can buy a woman anything I'd like to buy her, and I can assure you that she's not going to be losing her attraction for me.

 

Also, what happens when you aren't yourself, when you've fed her your set of empty, remembered phrases, when you've played the pick-up artist, when she's fallen for your sly tricks..... what then? Now, you're just yourself. Lines gone. Pretenses gone. Now what? I'm thinking that if all that wasn't you, you're likely to be a pretty big disappointment for her. Afterall, you promised her Ricco Suave, which is apparently what she digs in this case, and all you're able to present to her now is Senor Normal Guy.

 

Was this whole charade put in place just to bed her?

[rosephase]

Has this ever worked for you? Because I would just laugh in your face if you tried to pull that crap on me. And I would be disgusted if I saw a woman doing it to a man. That is just ridiculous. You know dating isn't really a game, but if it was this would be like advising someone to start using dice in a card game.

[teknoise]

You seem cool, but I'm still not sure. So you have 20 seconds to convince me you are fun and interesting person.

 

oh god, i can see that ending in a trainwreck..

 

 

I think we all agree on the same principles but your execution is pretty harsh and I doubt you are going to get the success you are looking for. You need to ease up and let women prove themselves naturally rather than putting them on the spot a la interview styles and forcing them to describe themselves. It just reeks of trying too hard.

[Lastlaugh637]

Well I made it a point not to just list "lines" to use on girls. But If you have nothing better to debate then so be it.

 

I listed examples to explain my thoughts. The point is to understand the attitude not memorize the lines. And yes they do work. The reason... People and especially girls love talking about themselves. I'm not trying to get girls into bed. Just open them up and let them display their personality.

 

The reason people are surprised I think is because they are confusing a girl liking you and a girl being attracted to you. They are separate. I'm not saying be a jerk and get her to hate you and be attracted to you at the same time. No. Not at all. Just don't confuse the two.

[Shudder]

this looks like it was copied and pasted from somewhere lol

[Lastlaugh637]

No. Not at all. I wrote this myself.

[drewciouS281]

I can see some of this working because i use it in my own way. The part about telling the woman "i was diggin you at first but now i dunno" if its said in a playful firty way, its not taken badly. In all of the times ive used sarcasm in this way it was never offensive, if anything it made the girl try harder.

 

I agree things arent 50/50 even after being with someone for 4 years i still play a bit hard to get. I dont let her get every which way she wants! I rarely buy women drinks at the bar because they know they can get them. I have had many women friends tell me this. When i go out, im loud, fun and just hang with the group of friends im with. staying confident but not cocky and usualy i get aproached.

[leo_s84]

this looks like it was copied and pasted from somewhere lol

 

Definitely David DeAngelo material...or someone like him

[zachtos]

I think this is pretty good advice for the dating game... But waiting for women to come to you won't work. Unless you are a very good looking man, you will still need to go after them to start out. But after that, I have found that being too forward or too 'easy' will ruin the fun of the chase. The hunt is a big part of dating, if you extinguish it too soon, it may ruin the thrill for both parties (been there over and over for the girls that throw themselves at you, just doesn't seem fun then).

[Crush85]

 

Be the prize! No matter what people tell you. You should not chase the girl. Make her chase you! Nothing is ever 50/50. If you look around in the media you'll see the message that men should chase women. We have to buy her drinks, take her to expensive dinners, buy her jewelry... Etc to prove ourselves to her and eventually she'll be happy and say yes!

 

I completely agree with this part.

 

I don't like the idea of chasing her, buying things for her, focusing all my attention on her if she's not willing to do the exact same for me.

[bijoux27]

Too many games for me.

[doyathink]

From the sounds of your post, going on a date with you would be about as exciting as going to a job interview.

[Lastlaugh637]

I think this is pretty good advice for the dating game... But waiting for women to come to you won't work. Unless you are a very good looking man, you will still need to go after them to start out. But after that, I have found that being too forward or too 'easy' will ruin the fun of the chase. The hunt is a big part of dating, if you extinguish it too soon, it may ruin the thrill for both parties (been there over and over for the girls that throw themselves at you, just doesn't seem fun then).

 

Very true. Glad you brought this up. You cannot just wait for women to come to you, unless you look like Brad Pitt. 99 percent of the time it will lead no where. What you need to do is actively display signs of disinterest and not being impressed. Passively displaying this stuff doesn't work. Such as waiting in the corner and not looking at her. The problem is she doesn't notice you. If you go up to her and engage her for a few minutes and then say what little amount of personality she's shown doesn't cut it with you(non offensive flirty way) it'll be much much better.

 

Also I can understand the anger over the examples but trust me they work. You should really see this stuff in action because words only account for 7 percent of communication. 93 percent is done with voice tonality, body language, eye contact, posture...etc

[jettison]

Also I can understand the anger over the examples but trust me they work. You should really see this stuff in action because words only account for 7 percent of communication. 93 percent is done with voice tonality, body language, eye contact, posture...etc

 

This is totally true. Did you also know that 64.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot?

 

I can appreciate your desire to woo the lady, but I don't understand how guys think that they can "trick" someone into thinking that you're someone that you're not. If I'm not looking at some woman, it's probably not because I'm playing a game. It's because I don't want to look at her. And if I'm interested but pretending not to be interested then I'd have to think that the object of my affection is a little bit slow upstairs if she can't even read me well enough to know that I'm playing a game... that I picked up some advice from a book or from the internet, and I'm experimenting on her.

 

Whatever your actions, they need to be who you are or else this cover gets blown very, very fast. How many times have you heard women complain that, "Yeah, he seemed so great at first, but then he turned out to be such a total creep." This, my friend, is why. If you're just genuine then you don't have to fake anything, and there is no charade that need be played.

[doyathink]

Actually, you have that figure wrong. It's more like 67.4%

[Lastlaugh637]

Sigh.. The point of the post is the attitude and belief you should adopt. Not the examples I posted. This isn't going to turn into a 9 page flame fest on why lines are tricking women .

[Pegasus]

How many times have you heard women complain that, "Yeah, he seemed so great at first, but then he turned out to be such a total creep."

 

I heard it a lot with one little line after it "....he's bad for me... but I love him....and can't leave him".

[Pegasus]

Sigh.. The point of the post is the attitude and belief you should adopt. Not the examples I posted. This isn't going to turn into a 9 page flame fest on why lines are tricking women .

 

There is no point of this thread - you should re-read heloladies21 post from your previous thread.

[RedWingsFan]

Funny story (short version):

 

A few nights ago at a bar I was with my mate, his friends, and their friends. About 10 in total. From accross the table, I see one girl and one guy, seemingly, hitting it off. I see her laughing, making light physical contact, etc. The females leave to smoke. The guy then says, "Have you guys read The Rules of the Game?" "...No, what's that." He explains it's a method to hook up with women by putting them down, making yourself more of value, so thereforeee, the women want you. 20 minutes later, the men are gone, women are back, and the woman says to me, "That Pat guy...he is a real {edit} jerk!" I told her what he told us...she laughed, but was also upset. When the guy came back, she confronted him about it (thus putting me awkwardly on the spot lol), and said "No, it's not working...you're being an {edit}. Let's go have a smoke and talk about it, okay?" I see her two days later and ask her what happened outside, as they were there for 30+ minutes. The guy was still in denial about his method (after all, he said he was on mission/day 13 or so). She slapped him.

[Clarity]

You know one thing that never works? Acting authoritative regarding a subject that you are clearly not an authority on.

[princess_summer_blue84]

ok if a guy said something like that I would 1) laugh in his face 2) slap him and kick him where the sun doesn't shine. 3) Never have any socializing with him ever again.

[Shudder]

these lines probably work when people are all drunk and happy. but when sober, they'd probably look at you or tell you to f off. lol