zachtos

Well, I thought I would chime in 2 years later now. I am the happiest I've ever been in my life. I recently bought a beautiful engagement ring for my current girlfriend and have it at the bank waiting. I am actually dating a different girl then the last post, that I met about 10 months ago. We met from link removed and come from very similar past relationship backgrounds. We are so alike, it's so strange. I've dated nearly 20 different women in the past 2 years and played the field quite a bit before stumbling accross Julie. She is just amazing. I'm so happy I got over my insecurities. I am a 100% different person now, for the better, and am told that by everyone I know. Social, outgoing and happy. These online forums, and third party outsider opinions really helped open my eyese and re-evaluate my life. I now have a real chance at happiness.

I came back to this site for some dating tips out of boredom today... I never mentioned that I did in fact leave my G/F of 8 years last June-06. It has been nearly over a year. *My feelings of depression and anxiety disspeared overnight and everyone I know says I seem like a totally different person now. I am much more social and outgoing now. A real busy body. * It was a very messy breakup to just leave overnight. Believe me. All that done and over with. I have been on over 20 dates in the last year. Got a new job, moved further up state, bought a house, a dog and have made new friends up here. I do admit that there was some post break up fooling around on the side for a good 6 months here and there... weakness I know. But I finally stopped that after I moved up here. I have found that I have developed a real bitterness about dating already and have grown to hate it and distrust nearly all women. I really try not to take out what happens with each on the next, but it always sneaks into my mind. I seem to have the best luck in my new dating world when I show extreme disintrest in another girl, or especially when I start dating a beautiful one now. Right now I'm dealing with insecurities of myself from all of the immature rejections I've received or given in the past. The woman I'm dating now is absolutely amazing for a long term relationship, but appears to hop around (she is 27) and she has had maybe 10 relationships, divorced once after 6 months at age 19, realized it was a mistake, and dated a few people a year there and here. She claims that either moving away or the guy being too immature comes into play. I consider myself a very mature individual for my age (26) and a great catch to any woman. I have grown so accustomed to the dating game already that I can't work past the 2 week mark in a relationship anymore. I can secure dates, get a few going after that, but then screw it up when I try to long term them. I come off my confidence chair and become 'weak' when I try to get them to be something long term. So here it is a year and 2 months later or so, and I'm still single, and am starting to get lonely/depressed/sick of not having someone to give love to anymore. It's starting to make me klingy and I can't hide/fight it anymore. I'm not sure what to do about that. But, I am 100% happier then I used to be in my old Rut of a relationship.

I will need to think about this more. It's hard. I'm confused about what I really want and am worried that it could be a huge mistake. After the first few times we broke up it made everything so much worse, that it was a mistake to come back.

*** Read my 2 year update on page 2, after this *** I have dated the same girl for going on 9 years now. I am 25, we started dating at 16, neither of us have been with another person. Over the last 4 years I have been having major problems going deeper into the relationship. I don't want to marry her because I am too unsure. she has lied to me ALOT in the past, but she was young. We have broken up several times over the last few years, because I'm mostly unhappy dealing with all of her "how do you feel about me etc?" questions. I'm worried that I suffer from "grass is greener" on the other side complex. I constanlty find myself wanting to be with other girls physically. It's so hard for me to want to stay. I feel so shallow because I want a younger, prettier girl or one that has some sort of future. I hate her family and she hates nearly everything that is funny to me. I feel stressful around her but can't leave because I'm afraid to be alone. I have stayed with her too long and feel like I can never find another now. All of our friends and families on both sides tell us to split up because they can see we are not happy... I'm just so worried that I will not be able to find another girl better then her. She really is obsessed with me and I'm afraid she will kill herself if I leave. She has said this in the past and I believe her. I really just want a break to see other people and possibly return in the future. She said this is cruel and she could not handle it. To top it off, I'm 25 years old and have problems getting erections with her already... I think it's because she gained 50 pounds and I'm bored of her or hate her truly... In her defense: she is very sweet and innocent she would be good with children she is fairly pretty, chubby, not really fat more background: my parents and her parents was us to break up and so do all of eachothers friends she hates all of my friends neither of us are really active or do much outside of dinner,movies occasional vacation neither of our hobbies coincide, but not many girls like pc games/marine life and boring techincal ******, nor do men really enjoy crafts and shopping online we do like alot of the same movies we argue about finances AND WE DONT EVEN LIVE TOGETHER by the way. I dont really know if I love her. Past breakups: immediate feelings no crying from me, I actually usually felt relieved around 2 weeks of being alone, I start to flip out, get drunk and get incredibly horny and call her... this results in it starting all over again. How do you even break up with someone after this long? What if I broke up, dated other girls and realized that I really did love her? I need advice, preferably from older men with longterm relationship experience