Feeling your thirties

[LAYAAN]

As a 30 something male there are similar pressures, not so much from my biological clock but more from eager friends and family that relish weddings and christenings. I have now got the stage where if I meet the women of my dreams then great, if not, I can also live with that.

good post... I never knew men also feel the same way (I'm not saying men are less human and are new to the area of feelings) but you never hear it as much as you hear women going "oh my god! I'm in my 30s" I think you have the right attitude. You will find woman of your dreams.

[StrawberryYogurt]

I've accomplished just about everything I wanted to at age 30. I just need to keep it up.

[Mr.Zombie]

I have met women in their forties who are bitter about where they ended up...yet they had the so-called fairy tale of the white picket fence, 2.1 children, husband, BBQ grill, minivan....the the fairy tale crapped out and they are left alone with kids who are starting to become self-sufficient. Sometimes it is better to be a "late-bloomer" and have things last into your golden years then have everything fall into place in your twenties and early thirties only to have it crap out in your forties.

 

In my opinion, the "American Dream" is . It's really more about someone else telling you what you should have instead of allowing yourself to fulfill your goals. I agree with the late, great George Carlin's comments on the American Dream in that it's essentially a means of maintaining the status quo. It's about making sure people keep buying stuff and remain submissive worker drones for most of their lives. Of course, marriage and children play a big part in this also. Societal pressure to marry and have children is enormous. It's all part of the plan. Ultimately, it all comes down to money and power.

 

I applaud anyone who takes things at their own pace and doesn't feel the need to live up to anyone else's standards. If being married with kids at the age of 25 works for you, then great. But not everyone is like that. We should just slow down, take a deep breath, pace ourselves and enjoy the time that we have. There's no need whatsoever to be in a big rush unless perhaps early menopause is a factor. I feel somewhat rebellious being single at 28. My sister was married at 23 and had her first child at 27. Many of my twenty-something friends are getting married and having kids. But that doesn't worry me. I'll stay single until I'm 55 if I want. I've only had one relationship in my life which was 6 years ago, but I'm honestly in no hurry. I would like to have a lady eventually, but I want to make damn sure she's the right one. I will wait a lifetime for her if necessary.

 

I don't know if this was helpful at all, or even on topic. I apologize if I've gotten off track. I just felt like I wanted to say a few things.

[joebloggs]

good post... I never knew men also feel the same way (I'm not saying men are less human and are new to the area of feelings) but you never hear it as much as you hear women going "oh my god! I'm in my 30s" I think you have the right attitude. You will find woman of your dreams.

 

In my twenties I did a lot of looking but never really found the “one”. If I had settled down in my mid twenties then the chances are that I would be divorced by now because my outlook on life has changed so much. From my experience, it really is all about timing. Some people’s personalities appear fixed from when they are teenagers, others are constantly evolving. I appear to fall into the latter category.

 

I have a lot more success now that I am no trying so hard. Life is beginning to fall in place, if anybody had told me that ten years ago then I would have seriously doubted that things would improve.

[joebloggs]

hello everyone,

great thread. I will turn 30 soon. sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and wonder where the hell all these years go. I'm not in a relationship. I understand the importance of having a companion in life but I'm not yet convinced that I want kids. I feel like I haven't lived my life yet. I want to complete my doctoral degree, get a job. I have no educational/credit card debt what so ever My worry is b'coz I'm not yet sure about having kids its turning men away from me. sigh... I can surely use words of wisdom.

 

Words of wisdom? I am not so sure, just my male perspective.

 

It sounds like you know what you want from life and that is an incredibly attractive quality to have. Things will start to happen for you, at thirty I was in a similar kind of predicament, believe me, the pieces will start to fall into place.

 

Regarding children and your relationships. I think you are reading too much into that. Let things develop and see where it takes you.