? play hard to get/ she wants a challenge-help

[monty44]

So I have been dating this girl for about 11 months and she said she needed a break from me for awhile( a week maybe) so she could miss me.

 

She said that she needs more of a challenge/ a guy that gives her a challenge. I do a lot of nice things for her/ buy her things / help her with things around her house/ pay for dinners/ etc, which I love to do because I love her, but she acts like I am to far up her ass

 

I am confused because after 11 months aren't these things I do the right thing, it is not like we just started dating and doing eveything for her.

 

And when i dont do things for her, like a few months back she was sick one day and wanted me to come down to take care of her, I almost didn't and she got mad and was like you are my boyfriend, you are supposed to do that stuff

 

And i love to see her because I do miss her so if she wants to see me i say of course, but then I am thinking ok, maybe she wants me to not see her, or maybe I should say no, I am busy doing other stuff

 

I am just confused because she wants a guy to give her a challenge/ (play hard to get?) but also be nice and do things for her, but not to nice, etc

 

I mean that is a fine line, so my question is what do I do, how do I continue to do nice things/ but giver her a challenge at the same time.

 

Thank you any advice would do and I wonder if other women feel this way.

[DN]

Tell her you don't play silly games. If she wants someone to play with she should find someone else.

[annie24]

And when i dont do things for her, like a few months back she was sick one day and wanted me to come down to take care of her, I almost didn't and she got mad and was like you are my boyfriend, you are supposed to do that stuff

 

she sounds wacky, like she doesn't know what she wants. she wants you to be there for her when she wants, and not when she doesn't. she doesn't sound like a great gf, frankly. i like to do nice things for my partner too. i think my head would explode if i had to figure out what the perfect balance of 'being there' and 'not being there' was.

 

i suggest you go LC. let her initiate (and pay for!) and plan any dates in the next few weeks. and let her call you also. and play hard to get yourself. like just turn off your phone for a few days and hang out with your friends. that might change her tune a bit. i bet as soon as you aren't there, she'll be coming back to you crying. give her a taste of her own medicine.

 

or you could always break up with her and come clean my place and buy me dinner!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

It sounds to me like she is playing games with you...it sounds like no matter what you do it won't please her because what pleases her is watching you squirm, walk on eggshells and be forever second-guessing yourself. I would tell her that she can miss you all she wants because you are out of there. When she calls and tells you she misses you and wants you back, it is time for you to set some boundaries. If she wants a challenge, give her one...show her that you are not dancing to her tune and if she wants you SHE better clean up her act.

[greywolf]

I hate it when girls do stuff like this. They complain when the guy treats them so nice. They say he's boring, there's no challenge... blah blah blah

What do they want? A guy that treats them like crap?? Then they find that guy and they complain about how he's not nice.

 

Find a girl that has a higher level of maturity than this.

[CallingAllAngels]

Tell her you don't play silly games. If she wants someone to play with she should find someone else.

 

ditto what he said.....

[scarew]

Yup, ditto.

 

I've been a girl that doesn't know what she wants, and until she is put in her place, she will never know.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Tell her you don't play silly games. If she wants someone to play with she should find someone else.

 

I agree, she sounds like bad news. She's pretty much telling you to be there when she wants you (which you'll need to read her mind to know) and to know when to say no (another mind reading trick there). Just break it off, that should be a big challenge for her.

[george237]

I think a lot of girls are like this. By you doing everything for her she somehow seems you as weak. When she was sick and you didn't come over it probably made her want you more. She likes someone to be a richard to her on one day and three days later send her flowers.

[amtjrtcet]

she's playing games....that's immature....how old are you guys?

 

Stop being so nice.

[ghost69]

you are a little ring on her finger. her pinky finger it sounds.