I have lost the perfect woman. Hepl me get her back PLEASE

[ertman420]

I hung out with Katie as friends for months before we got together. She dumped her fiance to be with me. We were together for a year and now she is with another guy. I have tried everything to forget about her and absolutely nothing works. I still fall asleep thinking of her, I dream about her EVERY night and I wake up thinking about her. I have never had a connection with another person so perfect and unique as our relationship. She's with another guy and I moved about 45 minutes away from her but I want her back. Every fiber in my being is screaming for me to go and get her back, but I don't even know where to begin. We have barely spoken since last summer and I made it a point while trying to forget her to not have any contact with her whatsoever for several months. I think I really ***ed up this time and I am thinking about writing her a letter and maybe burning a CD for her for Christmas. Think this is a good idea? Or anyone have another idea for me to get back in touch with her? PLEASE HELP

[phil1981UK]

Elbobowolobski got it just right i reckon.

 

If you call her or see her it has to be for a casual reason, dont go overboard with anything romantic, you have to make it look like you have moved on. This is the only way there may be a chance you'll get her back cos she'll start to wonder how good your life is going and what your up to.

 

But you need to stay realistic sadly, the fact is she has form, she dumped to be with you and she dumped you to be with someone else, not a good record!

 

My honest advice (but the hardest to do) is to forget her and move on, get out and try and get some dates, maybe even a new girlfriend, you will have to be strong and force yourself to do it, but the feelings for your ex will fade and one of your dates maybe the REAL one for you!

 

Hang with your buddies, dont sit indoors being depressed.

 

Stand tall, be strong and move on, until you do your life will be in limbo, thats a waste of YOUR life.

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

You dont see it now, but hopefully when your emotions are more in control you will see the patern that this dear ol' Katie seems to have. She hops from one man to another but not without stringing the soon to be dumped man along. I am sure her FIANCE thought she and him had this great connection then you came along and she left him for you. She left you for another, and she will continue to do this until she feels like stopping. Pick yourself up and try to see the whole story. This women can't make up her mind, that is not a good match for any man who is looking for stability.

[The Morrigan]

I have to agree with everyone here - she seems to be enthralled with the earlier stages of a relationship, but not ready to make a healthy committed relationship (looking long term) with anyone. The initial connection, getting more intimate, when things are the most dynamic and changing is when she's involved - but when it gets to the more stable and I hate to say it, maturing part of being able to say you want to work for something more permanent - she's plain not ready or willing to try yet.

 

I don't know how long she was in the relationship with her fiance - but I would guess less than 2 years, and I'd lay odds he asked her to marry him within the first year. I doubt her new interest will fare any better.

 

Unfortunately, you can't make someone grow into their emotions and be ready for the next step. That's something she's going to have to find her way on herself.

 

You're best off taking a step back and looking at what you want from a relationship and from yourself, take the time to heal from this one, and work on your own goals, and find someone on the same level you are. Being on two different levels like this only leads to one person ending up heartbroken and disillusioned when the other isn't ready to match up on the same level.