He Spit On Me!!!

[barbielovesmac]

maybe i was more in love with the idea of being in a relationship. the comfort of it all.

 

i thought we were so happy, but it was all lies. my smiles were based on lies. thats all it was.

 

you know what else he said ... that im a you know what for flaunting my guy friends because he is keeping her a secret. he said that to me. i have seen them out so many times. i saw them together freaking two days after the entire mess. sitting next to eachother .............. oh my god. his thinking is totally freaking OFF.

 

i dont know. but he has had a huge effect on me.

[midnightrambler]

maybe i was more in love with the idea of being in a relationship.

 

i dont know. but he has had a huge effect on me.

 

it happens...some people think the more abuse you take from a guy the more it shows your love for them

[Lana0120]

It sucks that this happens to you, but it has to be asked...

 

1) Why give him the opportunity to speak to you, let alone spit on you?

 

2) Why arrange to meet him, knowing what he is like?

 

I don't think it's just a restraining order you need, you need to restrain yourself. Deep down a part of you wants him back and you have to fight it and move on with your life. Good luck.

[Lionel Hutz]

Barbie you need a vacation somehwhere far away. Preferably a big city. Get out and see there are many attractive beautiful people everywhere who will treat you well. If you want to leave for good I know your make up experience will get you really far here in Los Angeles.

[barbielovesmac]

It sucks that this happens to you, but it has to be asked...

 

1) Why give him the opportunity to speak to you, let alone spit on you?

 

2) Why arrange to meet him, knowing what he is like?

 

I don't think it's just a restraining order you need, you need to restrain yourself. Deep down a part of you wants him back and you have to fight it and move on with your life. Good luck.

 

You're right a small part of me wants him back. I've admitted it. But I can't. I couldn't do it. There is SO MUCH damage. Not just between us now, but our families. MY family no longer like him ... they used to love him .... after everything I've told them they despise him. I don't have it in my to tell my mother that he spit on me ..... she'd kill him. I did tell one of my sisters and she flipped out and told me to file a report ....

 

Lionel, I am moving to San Diego in a week. Im a bit scared to take the leap ... a little afraid of the unknown. But im going to do it.

[Lionel Hutz]

Lionel, I am moving to San Diego in a week. Im a bit scared to take the leap ... a little afraid of the unknown. But im going to do it.

 

S.D. is awsome. I got a buddy who does tattoos down there and he loves it. You can drink on the beach too. Good for you!!!

[midnightrambler]

Lionel, I am moving to San Diego in a week. Im a bit scared to take the leap ... a little afraid of the unknown. But im going to do it.

 

S.D. is awsome. I got a buddy who does tattoos down there and he loves it. You can drink on the beach too. Good for you!!!

 

go to the US Open at Torrey Pines and meet a golfer, Barbie

[barbielovesmac]

im scared to make the move. in a way it will be good and ill be moving on .... but i can't say that i'll let it go.

 

i need to let this evil toad go ... i just can't accept that this is WHO he is. even though i know this is who he is. im still trying to find the good in him . . . .

 

this move will make me or break me.

[Lionel Hutz]

Pomise us you will not tell him where you are or where you live. This is the leap that is really going to reenforce your independence. Toadboy can go bully someone else now. Best wishes lil lady.

[hers]

how far is san diego from him? get as far away as you can. good luck!

[barbielovesmac]

he knows that i am going. . .not by me. . .but from our town.

[Mavh25]

Its hard to bring yourself to realise that a person you invested so much into took you for such a fool.. Its hard to sit and think to yourself, "wow... how did I not see this?" you have to realise it's nothing to do with something you did wrong, it was him.

 

Right now your main focus should be your move, this is going to be a brilliant experience for you. I really hope it goes well. You've been put through enough from this guy, he sounds absolutely horrific.

 

You're beautiful and talented, you can make it without him. He is merely a chapter that now needs closing. You're taking those first steps by getting out of this town, stay away from him.

[barbielovesmac]

im about to log off for a few hours. i copied and pasted all the advice i got ....... i take it home with me and i read it .............. i really do. cheesey or whatever ......... but it helps

 

im going out with a girlfriend tonight .......... im going to tell her whats going on.

 

it's all just a big mess. i want to ball up and hide FOREVER. ill be back soon.

[bigheart09]

I know you seem scared to move, but it will be exciting to start new in a fun place like san diego. I moved away from my ex when i was your age and it was the best thing I did.

[Lionel Hutz]

go to the US Open at Torrey Pines and meet a golfer, Barbie

 

Meet a REAL golfer.

[HeartGoesOn]

If a guy ever spit on me, or said he wanted to beat the crap out of me, I would run fast and far! Please don't take this kind of treatment, and think better of yourself.

 

You can do it! Take care...

[barbielovesmac]

im a little better today.

 

i had a long conversation with a girlfriend. we talked .... i cried a little .... drank some wine and just laughed.

 

she was upset with me after i told her that i went to meet up with him after he spit on me.

 

but overall she pretty much said all the same things that everyone else is saying here.

 

that he's immature .... and it's obvious that he misses me because if he didn't he wouldn't be acting out in anyway. but that he is just a little boy who cannot be upfront about his feelings. that he has to play games and act like a phsyco. it's clear it's hurting him ....... but he's immature and this is how he handles it.

 

we just had a really long talk. its time for me to grow some you know what .... and forget about him.

 

it's just a little hard.

[metrogirl]

I don't think he is hurting and I don't think he is acting this way because he misses you. He is a classic 'If I can't have you, no one should either'

 

People that are hurting and missing someone don't act out and cause further harm and annoyance.

 

He is a bully.....He plays on your weaknesses, not because he loves you or misses you, but because he knows that he can. That makes him feel like a bigger better man..... He's a pig.

[barbielovesmac]

I don't think he is hurting and I don't think he is acting this way because he misses you. He is a classic 'If I can't have you, no one should either'

 

People that are hurting and missing someone don't act out and cause further harm and annoyance.

 

He is a bully.....He plays on your weaknesses, not because he loves you or misses you, but because he knows that he can. That makes him feel like a bigger better man..... He's a pig.

 

You're right, Metro. His actions are the actions of one who loves, misses or wants me in his life.

 

I guess part of me wants to believe that maybe he is hurting and maybe he does miss me in his own little pshycotic little way

 

You're also right, he knows he can. He knows that I will pick up that phone, he knows that I will let him in ... and that is MY bad. Im enabling his behaivor and NOW he knows he can get away with it. I need to STOP. I need to stop letting him do this.

 

But everytime that phone rings my heart DROPS and i get weak and answer ... thinking maybe it will be different. But it never is

[metrogirl]

I was in the same boat as you.....I was weak when it came to him. I would tell him I didn't want to be with him and he always was able to hoodwink me into believing that this time would be better. I was constantly suckered into his web of charm and lies.

 

Usually within 2 or 3 days I would give in and we would be right back to where we started.

 

It has now been as long as it has been since your breakup. I am proud to say I have not given in. Not this time.. Not ever again. Why?? What's different now??

 

I see that for all the love I gave him, for all the time and effort I put into the relationship, he is not capable of loving someone, nor is he capable of recieving love. He doesn't know what to do with it. So he does only what he knows best and that is to lash out at me and I see now after 3 very long unsettling years that he can't ever change that. He can't ever change himself. I can't change him. Nor do I want to..

 

It hasn't been an easy road. Sometimes I am somewhat tempted to just talk to him, hear him out. But the thoughts of how evil he was to me supercede all of that. I make sure to remind myself that he was the sick one, he was the cruel one, he was the one that put the relationship in peril and I don't EVER need to go there again.

 

Somewhere in this world, there is someone that is going to return my love and kindness tenfold.

 

You have to believe that about yourself as well. Don't you think it's time that you RECEIVE love from someone that is kind, loving and compassionate an apposed to trying to give love to someone that just doesn't appreciate it?

[barbielovesmac]

Don't you think it's time that you RECEIVE love from someone that is kind, loving and compassionate an apposed to trying to give love to someone that just doesn't appreciate it?

 

Yes, it is time. It's time I be loved the way I love. I deserve to be loved. I am not the PERFECT person, nor do I try to be. But I have a good heart and I can love fully with it.

 

I gave him MY ALL and NEVER, EVER got the same in return. At the time, while we were together I didn't want to believe that. Looking back on it though, it was ONLY ME in that relationship. He was physically there, but his heart was not.

 

I wish I would've saw it sooner. I would've spared myself this world of hurt. But oh-well, I cannot go back. What's done is done.

 

HE is who he is. He needs help.

[metrogirl]

But you see it now......You saw it a month ago Barbie.......

 

Remember how we spoke in PM about how everything happens for a reason and people come in and out of our lives for different reasons, sometimes the reasons aren't clear to us why they are here. I have firmly believed that these are our life's lessons.

 

We get hurt, we grieve, we learn not to repeat those mistakes again. You now know what to look for, what to avoid, and hopefully how to make your next relationship better and healthier than the one before.

[midnightrambler]

Yes, it is time. It's time I be loved the way I love. I deserve to be loved. I am not the PERFECT person, nor do I try to be. But I have a good heart and I can love fully with it.

 

I gave him MY ALL and NEVER, EVER got the same in return. At the time, while we were together I didn't want to believe that. Looking back on it though, it was ONLY ME in that relationship. He was physically there, but his heart was not.

 

I wish I would've saw it sooner. I would've spared myself this world of hurt. But oh-well, I cannot go back. What's done is done.

 

HE is who he is. He needs help.

 

 

and you can't be the one to help him

[barbielovesmac]

i tried to be the one to help him. i tried to see the best in him. i never wanted to see him for who he really was. he lied oh so well. he was two different people, he was living a double life.

 

came home everynight to me ... as if we were happy. i didn't know a thing. i was clueless. like i said before ... I RATHER CRY OVER THE TRUTH THEN SMILE OVER A LIE. It's true.

 

You're right metro. He came into my life for a reason. He hurt me, but now I know. He's just another chapter in the book and it's time for me to flip the page .......... but my hand is STUCK.