BeStrongBeHappy Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 One other thing... men who do this kind of thing to women, lie and cheat and make promises they don't fulfill, have tricks as old as time... Many, many women go through this, and they do go on to find love with some honest person.... He was just a 'false true lover'... you thought he was true love, but he was false... There's an old ballad, hundreds of years old called 'Fair and Tender Ladies...' Check out the lyrics, i think you will recognize this. this ballad has been sung and saved for hundreds of years, because it is so true: Come All Ye Fair and Tender Maidens - Traditional, arr. G. Weiser Come all ye fair and tender ladies. Be careful how you court young men. They're like a star on a summer's morning. They'll first appear and then they're gone. They'll tell you some loving story They'll declare to you their love is true Then they will go and court some other And that's the love they have for you Do you remember our days of courting When your head lay upon my breast You could make me believe with falling of your arm That the sun rose in the West I wish I was a little sparrow, And I had wings with which to fly Right over to see my false true-lover, And when he's talking I'd be nigh. But I'm not a little sparrow, I have no wings with which to fly So I sit here in grief and sorrow, To weep and pass my troubles by. If I had known before I courted that love was such a killing thing I'd a-locked my heart in a box of golden and fastened it up with a silver pin. The thing that is important here is that you can and will love again, but you have to be very careful about giving your love away to someone who is a liar, selfish, cheat. It always ends this way with someone like that. i know because it has happened to me too, where i fell in love with a false true lover who lied and cheated. he's off having a fun old time, and you're at home crying so confused and devastated at his callousness and apparent lack of feeling and concern for you... he was just empty promises, and it is time to really grieve, recognize that he was a false true lover, and you need someone who is a TRUE true lover... so see this as a healing and learning time, and you need to let it go. You just can't make sense of someone who lies to you, nothing they say is true, and they don't really love you, so don't bother. you are stone cold serious about your love for him, but he's just toying with women, and his words give the illusion of love, but it isn't true love on his part. so let it go and recognize he can't give you what you want and need for more than a short while before he's off with someone else. if you really accept this, the truth, you will find peace. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 i live in a small town. you can run into anyone you know ... it wasnt hard. we bumped into eachother at the store ...... and she told me this. and i have been busy with friends ...... but then i heard this and it really hurts me. how can he say he doesn't want a relationship ... yet he may already be in another one. its heartless. He is in another relationship, Barbie. His mother knows it, and she tried to tell you it's true. But you should celebrate that you are rid of him. Now he is her problem. Link to comment
maegkitty Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 just wanted to say that on myspace to view somethings you must be logged on. he might have been just messing around wanted to view something so created an account real quick. this happened to me and i found that if you don't set up your profile it automatically selects single. i felt like an idiot when i accussed my bf of putting single on there and realized i did the same thing lol. since you both were members before it would be logical for him to do this since he probably has friends on there he might have wanted to check up on something. try making an account real quick don't fill anything out and see it will mark you single too. Link to comment
Firedancer03 Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 He doesn't even care. How can he just canoodle around with her like this?!??? How can he tell me he doesn't want to be in a relationship .......and then do all this with her?// it makes NO sense to me. It hurts .... it hurts sooo much. how could he NOT want to be tied down but want to be with her? I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know it hurts so bad. But he said that to you because he is a liar. He lied to you in the past and this is just another lie. Many people who wish to end a relationship really don't come right out and say the real reasons why they don't want to be with that person anymore, so to avoid stirring up the waters too much they say something along the lines of "I just want to be single right now..." You see, its just a way to let you down easy. He probably does want to date other people, but he wasn't about to tell you that to your face. He is a cold and heartless jerk, but now you are rid of him and he is someone else's problem! It will take awhile for you to see that and really believe it, but trust me, you will! Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted March 9, 2008 Author Share Posted March 9, 2008 it's hard to see him for who he REALLY is. because the only thing that crowds my mind are the GOOD things. he kept like following me lastnight while i was out. my friends and i were parked in a parking lot ... just chatting and then one of my friends all of a sudden said, isn't that **** ? we're just like omg. and once he saw us look he drove off all crazy...... then we passed him ...... and he turned around all crazy ... and then passed me going like 80 in a rural area...25mph no passing zone. why is he acting like this?????? cause now he see's me out ... i don't know Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 He's acting like this to see if you've also started "canoodeling" or to see who you where with. Not b/c he loves you, just to be nosey I guess.. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted March 9, 2008 Author Share Posted March 9, 2008 He's acting like this to see if you've also started "canoodeling" or to see who you where with. Not b/c he loves you, just to be nosey I guess.. he was acting like a little boy. and yes, i was with my guy friends and he was probably talking all kinds of crap. i don't know why he cares so much. he's out doing his thing ... and im finally picking myself up off the ground and doing MINe. he shouldn't care - this is what HE wanted. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Push/pull behavior like this is VERY common amongst very immature men. They push you away then when you are gone and seem to be recovering and getting on with life they often try to pull you back. This has happened enough now for you to know what the deal is so i hope if he does come back around you don't take him back. He's in it for the chase....once he gets too comfortable again or you get comfortable the cycle will repeat. Again and again. Like i said VERY common behavior for immature people. Please don't take this following you as flattery. It is disturbing behavior and nothing i'd find complimentary. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted March 9, 2008 Author Share Posted March 9, 2008 Im not going back him. I've had enough of his games. He can play his games with someone else. I almost HOPE he comes crawling back JUST so i can tell him HELL no. he is verrrrry immature. chasing me around ...... it's stupid. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 it's hard to see him for who he REALLY is. because the only thing that crowds my mind are the GOOD things. he kept like following me lastnight while i was out. my friends and i were parked in a parking lot ... just chatting and then one of my friends all of a sudden said, isn't that **** ? we're just like omg. and once he saw us look he drove off all crazy...... then we passed him ...... and he turned around all crazy ... and then passed me going like 80 in a rural area...25mph no passing zone. why is he acting like this?????? cause now he see's me out ... i don't know Hopefully this doesn't impress you. Sounds like a teenager to me. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted March 9, 2008 Author Share Posted March 9, 2008 It doesn't impress me at all. All it did was leave us talking about how childish it was . . . Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 This should really be helpful to you, Barbie. You should cry much less now, hopefully no more at all. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted March 9, 2008 Author Share Posted March 9, 2008 he was acting like a child. . . he isnt a man. he didn't love me. no man, or man in love would act this way. his behaivor amazes me to no extent. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted March 9, 2008 Author Share Posted March 9, 2008 let me scratch that ... this ENTIRE relationship ...... he was a child. he left me like a child would. now he's reacting to HIS actions in a childish manner Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 i think he thought he'd walk away, then after a few days you'd cave and beg to take him back... now he's starting to get mad realizing you're NOT chasing after him and worshipping him anymore. stupid twit! Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 The infamous push/pull behavior. ^^^ Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted March 10, 2008 Author Share Posted March 10, 2008 i think he thought he'd walk away, then after a few days you'd cave and beg to take him back... now he's starting to get mad realizing you're NOT chasing after him and worshipping him anymore. stupid twit! that's EXACTLY right! he is sooooo used to me chasing him down ... crying ... and begging for him everytime he does this .... and this time i let him go and he doesn't like it. im proud of myself. i really am. compared to all the other times, wow. ihaven't gone to him ONCE . all the other times i was pathetic ...... its a sense of relief. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 You are wonderful! You have been so strong and true to yourself through all of this, even though you were hurting badly. You will be so much better for the right guy when he comes along. Keep going, girl! Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Yay! You're doing great Barbie! Living well IS the best revenge... keep going out with your friends, re-discovering the people you cut off because of him... You know, the most interesting thing about this will be that you are realizing that he LIKES that game where you are anxious and chase after him. In the past, you thought you were just trying to find the right thing to do to make it right and have him calm down and have a normal life, but he doesn't want that, he wanted you totally wrapped around his little finger and chasing after him. Who's in charge now... you baby! Enjoy your indepedence, and go find a man who wants you to be HAPPY, not anxious and catering to him. Link to comment
Girl79 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 I am not going to be surprised at all if he dates this girl for a bit and then realizes how awesome a thing he had with you, and dumps her and tries to get back with you. Just keep being strong and when the time comes, it's going to feel soooo good to tell him that he can't come running back to you this time. Link to comment
jazzykat Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 it's hard to see him for who he REALLY is. because the only thing that crowds my mind are the GOOD things. he kept like following me lastnight while i was out. my friends and i were parked in a parking lot ... just chatting and then one of my friends all of a sudden said, isn't that **** ? we're just like omg. and once he saw us look he drove off all crazy...... then we passed him ...... and he turned around all crazy ... and then passed me going like 80 in a rural area...25mph no passing zone. why is he acting like this?????? cause now he see's me out ... i don't know -You said you live in a small town (when posters asked you if you were seeking him out, when you said you kept seeing him/his family around) -Maybe it's because you live in a small town, -that's why he's been 'bumping' into you as well...? I wouldn't read too much into it, just like he shouldn't read too much into it if he/his family sees you out and about.. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 you tend to notice people you already know in huge crowds. so a small town i bet would be even more limited. sounds like the following you around is in your head. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted March 10, 2008 Author Share Posted March 10, 2008 no, it's NOT my head. it's NOT in my head at all. when he is parked in a parking lot .... see's my car and immediately gets behind me .... how is that in my head? how is it all in my head when IM parked in a parking lot and he parks beside me only to stare and drive off when i look. . . DON'T think it's in my head! I'm over that though. It's not the point. I'm doing okay guys, I am. I still think about him and yes, I still think about them. I wonder are they together? I can't help but think about it. I can't help but think about ... if he's had sex with her and I cannot help but thinking about making love to him . . . and how different it will be with someone else. I still think about it. But I REALIZE now . . . Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted March 10, 2008 Author Share Posted March 10, 2008 he has made such a mess of me. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 he has made such a mess of me. Only as much as you let him. It stops when you take control of your life and say 'enough is enough' and stop wasting every breath thinking about him and wondering what he's doing. How much time is he wasting on you when he was with this girl before you even broke up? Link to comment
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