Is a Little Jealousy Okay?

[greenmonster]

I guess I still see this as if I am at the pub with my girlfriend...and I am there with her because I want to be with her, talk to her, have some drinks, dance, laugh with some friends...and when I am making plans for the evening I don't include "sit back and watch her get hit on by scummy dudes" as part of my fun or entertainment....its an annoyance that takes away from the fun of the evening out.

 

even though I trust her...even though I know nothing is going to come of it...why wouldn't I just get rid of the guy by giving my girlfriend a simple hug or smack on the butt or something so that we could get back to having our evening out?

 

plans for tonight:

go pick up Brad and Nikki

go to the new sushi joint for dinner

head downtown to the pub

sit and watch girlfriend get hit on by scumbags

drink some cocktails

play some pool

watch girlfriend get hit on by more dirtsacks

Dance

drink some more

go home

 

what two of these things don't belong? I mean....to me it seems pretty simple that the watching random dudes hit on my girl just doesn't fit into the plan...its not entertaining and I have no reason not to trust that my girl can fend them off herself, but rather why should she have to? why not solve the problem and move on instead of watching it and testing your SO?

[Batya33]

Because once I step in and do that draping all over thing that Natty described I am making the following impression:

 

One, I don't trust my partner.

 

Two, I don't think my partner knows how to handle the situation and I am making his decisions for him.

 

Three, I look very insecure and clingy.

 

Four, I am letting the other woman see that I have lost control and I don't like feeling that way.

 

Just to be clear - the OP said she drapes herself all over her bf and does similar actions. I would have no issue walking over to my bf and joining the conversation, introducing myself to the woman. I am talking about behavior that goes beyond that - the draping and similar behavior that the OP described.

 

So when I said I would watch, I meant I would watch rather than go over and do something other than simply join the conversation. The behavior the OP was desribing went beyond that to a degree where I would feel uncomfortable, for the reasons above.

 

And I would add especially if I had just left to go to the ladies room, I am sure he would expect me to find him when I got done.

 

It is annoying when others hit on the person you are with. That is one reason I don't like being around drunk people at a crowded bar - not just the hitting on but other annoying behavior.

[greenmonster]

go back and read the un-edited original post...she says "drape her arm around him"...not "drape herself all over him"...

 

to me that means she would simply put her arm around her man...which to me is nothing more than a shift in posture if you want to be really sly about it...

 

I don't think she all of a sudden starts hugging all over and pours her whole body over and starts rubbin him up and making out right there...

 

and I think thats part of our not seeing eye to eye batya...you think we are talking about something more than simple jestures that people do without even thinking about them...putting your arm around your sweetie, giving him/her a hug, sittin on thier lap...little things...the little things that when that person is gone you end up missing more than you ever knew because we always take em for granted...but in reality they mean SO much...and they are SO important.

[Batya33]

Well, no in later posts she described the behavior in more detail and it sounded far more clingy to me. And no I wouldn't do any kind of PDA in that situation - if I went over I would be subtle and classy - wouldn't want to stoop to the other woman's level or show any signs of clinginess. So I wouldn't drape my arm over him, kiss him (which I think the OP said she would do) or similar. I want to show her that it doesnt' bother me and that I am secure. My joining the conversation is probably fine/normal - that wouldn't reflect poorly on me.

 

As far as not trusting him - no, I would not trust a situation where I saw him standing that close to another woman as Natty described and he wasn't trying to get away or trying to move away, etc or he wasn't looking around for me (if that would help). Obviously there are exceptions - if it's the boss's daughter, etc but if it's some random stranger, I would doubt his intentions in behaving that way and that is why I might just stand back and see what happened next before deciding whether to go over there and join. And if was that crowded that I'd have to fight through the crowds to get to him and it would look that way, I might choose not to.

 

The difference here is I believe that sometimes we have to choose not to act on our insecurities by wearing them on our sleeves and making them obvious. Other women are free to flirt with or throw themselves at my bf - that's not part of the "relationship/commitment deal." I might not like it, just like I might not like his boss keeping him late one night when he is supposed to see me, etc - but I have no real standing to "enforce" my relationship by shooing other women away. All I care about is how he responds and reacts and that comes down to our personal feelings and values on what is appropriate and what is inappropriate. If he behaves inappropriately, it's not "her" fault - it's his so there's no point in my dealing with "her" at all.

 

I've certainly wanted to act like the OP has - I just choose not to because it goes against who I am and my self image.

[Natty7]

No GreenMonster...Batya is right~ I prefer to proceed to have sex with him right at the bar... Pull, no RIP his clothes off and just go at it man!!! Then she will really know what's what! Bet the tramp will take a few steps back, hmmm... or maybe join in because we look so hot doin' it right there on the bar... hmmmm.....

 

[insert porno music here]

[JadedStar]

I guess I don't understand why you would sit back and watch your boyfriend get hit on...aren't you at the bar to have fun with him and be with him? whats the point of watching some strumpet rub her cans on your man in a crowded joint? what if he just stands there...says nothing...but just lets her keep "bumping" into him with her sweater kittens while he ignores her and acts like nothings happening...you gonna allow that?

 

I mean...c'mon...

 

OH...and.... there is ALWAYS someone better looking than you, me, her...everyone...and thats ALWAYS going to be the truth.

 

Joe Dimaggio dumped Marilyn Monroe...someone will dump you too.

 

I think most of us would not encounter this because if they are out and some girl is doing what you said above the guy would remove himself from that area.

 

Not sure what kind of weak men you guys are talking about but most men who are out with their girl and some drunk fl00zy is making a scene that is uncomfortable he'll pick up his drink and coat, take his lady by the arm, and say excuse me and go to another end of the bar.

 

Are people serious here? If i am out with my SO and this sort of thing happened and he just stood there laughing about it and eating up i will be more angry at HIM for not removing himself from that corner.

 

I think this sort of thing only happens, however, to those who are in the bars a lot, and particularly after 9pm. I try to make it a habit not to surround myself with drunk people.

 

Those who make the choice to surround themselves with that kind of person is obviouisly going to tackle this dilemma a lot. If I found myself having to do this hanging on the arm thing and running interference i'd ask myself "why am i encountering this so much" and if the answer is because i am spending too much time in bars with drunk people then i either decide to stop doing that so often or deal with it.

[Natty7]

Because once I step in and do that draping all over thing that Natty described I am making the following impression:

 

One, I don't trust my partner.

 

I trust my partner. He trusts me. We go out separately and have no qualms about it. I love him and he loves me. We go out together we are like glue, and if that glue gets a little undone because I have to make a trip to the bathroom, or he does, or whatever~ we find our way back to each other and once again, focus our 100% attention on them.

 

Two, I don't think my partner knows how to handle the situation and I am making his decisions for him.

 

My boyfriend most certainly does know how to handle the situation, but he can count on me that I will be there so he doesn't have to get his hands dirty, and vice versa.

 

Three, I look very insecure and clingy.

 

Again, not a bone on my body is insecure... and I am most certainly not clingy. You assume just because you think like that everyone does... sweetie it's a very big world with a lot of different view points and a lot of different stances. Rejecting them all to portray one as naive as yours... well, enough said. I.E. I think that some things you write on here are completely ludicrous! But I realize you live a different lifestyle. I mean who gets drunk twice a year or less? To me, in my world, that's a little square and maybe a convent is where I might find this. But then again, you KNOW they're getting trashed on that holy wine. I know you have gone on-line in the past to find men~ I would NEVER dream of doing that. But I am not judging you or saying you have to meet a man in person or you seem insecure and desperate. I would never say that, but if I were you, I would say that and not only apply it to you, but to everyone that does those actions. Stop judging Batya! Just take a deep breath and stop. You want to say you are just giving your opinion~ in everyone of my threads don't you see a trend as I do? Are you really gonna put up the blinders on that? You don't have to reply just think about that. And if you don't realize that you are trying to hurt my feelings by continuing to write that a person (i.e. natty) is insecure and desperate and clingy and not trusting and unhealthy and and and... you have made your point have you not??? You have stated that you think a little jealous is okay (yet you have not defined exactly what you mean ) but you don't think that women (natty) should interfere with their boyfriend's flirting life... none of her business... fine. I don't think that way.

 

Four, I am letting the other woman see that I have lost control and I don't like feeling that way.

 

See in your eyes, that's the way it is. Perfectly fine. I don't see that one. I don't EVER give up my control to ANYONE!

 

Maybe I don't think like you because I don't judge like you.

 

The point is... from the first day (and I have said this and I will continue to say it until it is no longer an issue) I got on here and you and some others found out about my b/f, you have just been so judgmental of our relationship. Which is fine because you are a stranger and why would I give a f***... but you are ruining my threads I tell you! Maybe I should do away with Natty7 and begin posting as someone else with no picture... I betchya you would have different things to say... that is just my hypothesis though.

 

I want to get other people's opinions, but you run off trying to twist and twist my words so that you can place judgment on me in other ways... that's fine I don't mind, my brother calls those kind of people "haters" too funny right? But try and keep it short so that other people will not be so scared off. The title isn't called a debate between ultra conservatives and groovy radicals... you put your two cents in right?

 

The fact is my b/f and I are very happy and we have a very healthy relationship. I am in heaven!!! He holds me close every night as I fall asleep and he kisses me on the nose every morning telling me how beautiful I am. I love him and wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. I have no problem standing up for my man with a (you say vamp) I say tramp.... that's just the way it is. So if you think that's unhealthy, "Frankly [batya,] I don't give a damn." Gotta looooove Gone With the Wind!!!

[JadedStar]

Again, not a bone on my body is insecure... and I am most certainly not clingy. You assume just because you think like that everyone does... sweetie it's a very big world with a lot of different view points and a lot of different stances. Rejecting them all to portray one as naive as yours... well, enough said.

 

Natty, can I ask you a question? Why is it when Batya or other very level headed members raise a different viewpoint from yours you begin to become very condescending? Calling her "sweetie" and "naive" almost seems indicative that she must have touched a nerve.

 

Batya is certainly not naive.

 

Your last post seems to be convincing yourself of something more than us.

 

This is not a dig, just an observation I have noticed frequently in your responses to people who have a different opinion. There is no need to become condescending with people just because their views are different than yours. Batya clearly stated why the behavior you spoke of seemed clingy to her. I absolutely agree with it. If you don't, fabulous! But i can promise you that when you are out and acting that way others will think you look like an insecure little girl. I have seen women do this and that is what pops into my head. SOmetimes we can't help these little things that we think of during certain situations. We are trying to give you this information to take under advisement, or not. But lying about how we think it looks would be a waste of everyone's time.

 

I just wanted to weigh in because you said she twisted your words, yet what I saw was a post that very logically spoke of how SHE would handle the exact same situation. There is no word twist, she is speaking about how she would handle this in the same situation.

 

Believe it or not people are trying to help and when you get that defensive it is completely unproductive.

[Batya33]

Yes, JS thanks. I guess that is where I was having difficulty with the hypo and these real life situations Natty and GM are describing. They just sound inconsistent with being in a committed adult relationship - especially since the OP describes her bf as 40 and an educated professional. I live in a major city, too and those are my peers. They are a blast and like to have a great time but not in a crowded bar or club with any regularity.

 

Obviously there is temptation everywhere, every day, not just at crowded bars and clubs, which is why trust is essential, but if the specific situation described - a drunk floozy hitting on my bf at a crowded bar - happened often enough when I was with him or when I was not that I would need to think up some strategy or approach to prevent it, stop it, or somehow "assert" that it was my bf, I would have to seriously re-think why I was with a person who enjoyed doing those activities, whether I was continuing to enjoy being in those situations regularly (almost reminds me of rush hour commuting on a crowded bus or train - we have to do it to earn a living but we wouldn't choose to be in those situations unless we had to), and if I was well, then, why - there must be some "kick" one or both of them get out of watching the other be hit on because they're so "hot" - and I can't relate to why that would be intriguing or interesting in any way.

 

When it happened to me, in my 20s, both ways, it got old very fast and at some points it felt almost dangerous.

[Natty7]

Anyhoo~ this is going on and on: for new comers to this thread~ this is ACTUALLY what was being addressed

 

My boyfriend and I had a huge discussion on jealousy last night... he believes that a small amount of jealousy is okay and shows you care.

 

For instance, he always has women flirting with him or being very overly attentive... if I witness this or see some woman trying to flirt with him I kinda get into that jealous mode. Sometimes I feel like I am a dog and am obligated to pee on him in order to mark my territory. Of course, I don't act on these feelings and my common sense tells me that he doesn't belong to me. lol. So I just kinda drape my arm over him or pull him aside of the conversation she is trying to start and give him light kisses. He loves when I do this, he says that it is incredibly cute to see me get all red and he knows what is going through my mind. He knows that that kind of jealousy stems from me caring about his so much.

 

He gets his little jealousy tantrums too and I try to accommodate his feelings as he does with me. Actually, he gets kinda cute when he gets a little jealous.

 

So, what do you think? Is a little jealousy okay? Do you think that if you carry that twinge of jealousy at times it just means that you are passionate about your significant other and have certain feelings when it comes to people of the opposite sex invading your territory?

 

[i am sure there are better words to say, but don't take too seriously, I don't mean territory as you own the other person, just trying to be descriptive.]

[midnightrambler]

logic would tell me that if exhibiting jealousy shows you care, then a healthy relationship would include trying to make the other mate jealous, so the jealous feelings come out. Dr. Phil may have issues with that relationship tactic.

[Natty7]

To answer my own question, again:

 

I think it's cute and endearing if it is a little jealousy. I would be afraid if someone didn't feel any jealousy.

[JadedStar]

logic would tell me that if exhibiting jealousy shows you care, then a healthy relationship would include trying to make the other mate jealous, so the jealous feelings come out. Dr. Phil may have issues with that relationship tactic.

 

I totally agree.

 

I would never use jealousy as a barometer to measure how much someone cares. Some people have more of a jealous streak than others, that is all it tells me.

 

Now if a partner has ZERO jealousy period that is a warning sign as some jealousy is going to occur if they love the person but to say it is a measure of someone caring...that sounds a bit unhealthy.

[Natty7]

logic would tell me that if exhibiting jealousy shows you care, then a healthy relationship would include trying to make the other mate jealous, so the jealous feelings come out. Dr. Phil may have issues with that relationship tactic.

 

Dr. Phil~ lol....

 

I don't think you should make someone jealous though. Not at all. I would be pissed to find out he was doing it on purpose, then it would not be so cute.

[midnightrambler]

To answer my own question, again:

 

I think it's cute and endearing if it is a little jealousy. I would be afraid if someone didn't feel any jealousy.

 

 

how much is a little?

[Natty7]

how much is a little?

 

I would consider a little not making a scene... I would consider it a twinge of jealousy you feel in the belly... like when you are out with you guy/girl and some trampy looking girl in the corner of the room won't stop eye-f'ing your guy... you know, you feel that steam rise to your cheeks.

 

That's a little jealousy. You don't go up to her and say hey woman~ eyes off... You feel hot in your face and that's the extent of it.

 

Now, if she started flirting with him and wouldn't stop~ that's a whole other scenario in my book.

[midnightrambler]

I would consider a little not making a scene... I would consider it a twinge of jealousy you feel in the belly... like when you are out with you guy/girl and some trampy looking girl in the corner of the room won't stop eye-f'ing your guy... you know, you feel that steam rise to your cheeks.

 

That's a little jealousy. You don't go up to her and say hey woman~ eyes off... You feel hot in your face and that's the extent of it.

 

Now, if she started flirting with him and wouldn't stop~ that's a whole other scenario in my book.

 

 

i am not sure if i would feel comfortable feeling that.......but i would be more worried that bf is eye-f'ing the hottie accross the room

[greenmonster]

Well, no in later posts she described the behavior in more detail and it sounded far more clingy to me. And no I wouldn't do any kind of PDA in that situation - if I went over I would be subtle and classy - wouldn't want to stoop to the other woman's level or show any signs of clinginess. So I wouldn't drape my arm over him, kiss him (which I think the OP said she would do) or similar. I want to show her that it doesnt' bother me and that I am secure. My joining the conversation is probably fine/normal - that wouldn't reflect poorly on me.

you consider putting your arm around your SO to be some kind of unacceptable PDA then I feel sorry for you...thats not a sign of insecurity or clinginess. if there is something wrong with a light little kiss or something of that nature too then I definitely don't want to live in your world. jesus...what are you...Amish? when did society become so conservative that two people who are dating/married cant give eachother the slightest kiss in public without being flamed for insecure and clingy PDA behaviors that reflect poorly on someone? I knew that you and I live in totally different groups of people, but I didn't think that it was THAT different...

As far as not trusting him - no, I would not trust a situation where I saw him standing that close to another woman as Natty described and he wasn't trying to get away or trying to move away, etc or he wasn't looking around for me (if that would help). Obviously there are exceptions - if it's the boss's daughter, etc but if it's some random stranger, I would doubt his intentions in behaving that way and that is why I might just stand back and see what happened next before deciding whether to go over there and join. And if was that crowded that I'd have to fight through the crowds to get to him and it would look that way, I might choose not to.

this is the second time you have mentioned work related events associated to this subject...that seem pretty abstract and outta left field...so basically your saying that if his bosses daughter was hitting on him that thats ok and he should play along? thats REALLY unprofessional on his part and I cant even dream up a situation where that would be a good thing.

The difference here is I believe that sometimes we have to choose not to act on our insecurities by wearing them on our sleeves and making them obvious. Other women are free to flirt with or throw themselves at my bf - that's not part of the "relationship/commitment deal." I might not like it, just like I might not like his boss keeping him late one night when he is supposed to see me, etc - but I have no real standing to "enforce" my relationship by shooing other women away. All I care about is how he responds and reacts and that comes down to our personal feelings and values on what is appropriate and what is inappropriate. If he behaves inappropriately, it's not "her" fault - it's his so there's no point in my dealing with "her" at all.

again, your labeling this as insecurities, which is pretty much the opposite of what we are talking about and yet you still don't see it. oh well. it takes someone that is more secure in themselves to stand for something than to just sit back and bide their time hoping that things go their way. it takes more self confidence to walk over and get noticed than to just hang out in the shadows. I'm sorry...but if anything, by you not willing to stand up and do anything shows massive ammounts of insecurity and timmidness. and to the "her" fault part...c'mon...are you kidding me? so its HIS fault that she hit on him? its HIS fault if he tried to back away from her yet she continued? its HIS fault that she's a skank? don't you and your SO have any kind of team personality together? do you not work together on things? do you not try to act as a unit? or are you just two people that hang out, do whatever you want to do with no regard for the other person, and then every now and then use eachothers bodys to masterbate with? because without thinking and acting like you are together then your just two people...thats missing the point of relationships entirely.

I've certainly wanted to act like the OP has - I just choose not to because it goes against who I am and my self image.

I guess I dunno what self immage you're after. someone who just lingers back behind the scenes without ever standing up for something, or having the confidence to act on what you feel, and an image that is completely free from human contact in public...

 

sheesh...good image...

No GreenMonster...Batya is right~ I prefer to proceed to have sex with him right at the bar... Pull, no RIP his clothes off and just go at it man!!! Then she will really know what's what! Bet the tramp will take a few steps back, hmmm... or maybe join in because we look so hot doin' it right there on the bar... hmmmm.....

 

[insert porno music here]

Bowm-Chicka-Wow-Wow

 

I think most of us would not encounter this because if they are out and some girl is doing what you said above the guy would remove himself from that area.

 

Not sure what kind of weak men you guys are talking about but most men who are out with their girl and some drunk fl00zy is making a scene that is uncomfortable he'll pick up his drink and coat, take his lady by the arm, and say excuse me and go to another end of the bar.

bars get full...at some of the places I regularly attend they are standing room only from 8pm till close. when you have a table and your friends are all sitting around and your enjoying yourself why should you have to move when you can just get rid of the problem instead? and what does that show by not being capable of dealing with the problem and just running from it? besides that...by what right does the man have to just snatch up his girl and relocate her to another section of the bar anyway? what if she is sitting there enjoying some time with her friends? does it not make more sense for said girl to turn around and put her arm around her man or give him a little kiss on the cheek or something which would cause said skank to disperse instead of having to relocate to another section where she could just show up again?

Are people serious here? If i am out with my SO and this sort of thing happened and he just stood there laughing about it and eating up i will be more angry at HIM for not removing himself from that corner.

like I said earlier...guys are pretty dense sometimes and we don't even realize we are getting hit on...which is why our girlfriends DO get mad at us when the chick finally leaves and we give her a blank look and say "What? What did I do?"...besides that most people do just try to get along and be friendly and often times it can be difficult to disperse with someone in a way that no one gets embarrassed or insulted.

I think this sort of thing only happens, however, to those who are in the bars a lot, and particularly after 9pm. I try to make it a habit not to surround myself with drunk people.

well then you have probably never had to deal with this situation then and your views on the matter mean very little. I'm in the bars a lot...particularly after 9pm. I go out basically 2 nights a week...sometimes 3...and I am around drunk people. I don't have any problem with that...nor do I see any problem with that. I enjoy my time out, its how I have fun, and its what I do to unwind and enjoy my life. I meet up with my friends out on the town...we enjoy eachothers company at bars because its what we like. and normally we aren't at loud dark techno/rap dance clubs...we go to martini/cigar type bars, piano bars, wine bars, sports bars, laid back lounges, bars that are also resturants(called a pub or a tavern if you will), bars with live music(do this a lot), comedy clubs...etc... the wide variety of bars in bigger cities opens up a world of possibilities that people from smaller towns don't even realize is available. but hey...thats just me...I like to go out...I enjoy drinking...don't see a damn thing wrong with it...and I have a great set of friends that do the same things I do and I love being with them. the problems people like natty and I face at these bars past 9pm are far different from the problems that you face at wherever you are and whatever your doing past 9pm. and thus...I wouldnt offer my opinion on something I don't know about. or pretend to know how I would handle a situation I have never been in or don't face on a regular baisis.

Those who make the choice to surround themselves with that kind of person is obviouisly going to tackle this dilemma a lot. If I found myself having to do this hanging on the arm thing and running interference i'd ask myself "why am i encountering this so much" and if the answer is because i am spending too much time in bars with drunk people then i either decide to stop doing that so often or deal with it.

the last three words here are basically the entire meaning behind this thread...HOW would you "deal with it"...not stop going to bars or whatever...but put out a logical answer to this problem. one thing to keep in mind to is that a lotta times these girls aren't drunk...they are just the golddigging type that hang out at the more classy type bars looking to latch on to a sugar daddy. trust me...I've delt with these sharks. they might have 2 drinks all night and yet act like they are totally wasted....but then again...you don't frequent places like this so this may just be all new news to you.

 

anyways...keep on rocking people

[Natty7]

i am not sure if i would feel comfortable feeling that.......but i would be more worried that bf is eye-f'ing the hottie accross the room

 

ha... me too man! But I guess I don't run into that thank God. My guy knows how to keep his hands and eyes to himself, or he's hiding for my sake and then I still say that's fine. He can look. I highly doubt he would ever eye-f anyone but me... glance yes, steamy glance nah. Not like him.

[JadedStar]

.but i would be more worried that bf is eye-f'ing the hottie accross the room

 

This is a point I tried to make earlier.

 

Why is this guy just standing there laughing while a drunk girl is rubbing herself on him or just being very flirty or suggestive(this is what one person described on this thread)?

 

I'd be more worried about the guy and the fact that he continues to be in these situations. Normally the only men who encounter this situation often are the ones who 1) give off body language and signals to other women that says he is open to it and 2) are frequently out in venues that are loaded with intoxicated women.

 

The average guy I'd have to guess doesn't find himself in this sitation often enough to have to even worry about how to handle it.

[JadedStar]

like I said earlier...guys are pretty dense sometimes and we don't even realize we are getting hit on...

Guys can be dense but i think most can spot a drunk flirtatious gesture when they see it unless they themselves are also drunk and their sensibilities are taxed.

 

well then you have probably never had to deal with this situation then and your views on the matter mean very little. I'm in the bars a lot...particularly after 9pm.

 

This is exactly why I said that if a person finds themselves having to ward off drunk flirty girls that often than either re-evaluate where you spend your time or realize this is just going to happen and deal with it without looking like a clingy little girl.

[Natty7]

sheesh...good image...

Bowm-Chicka-Wow-Wow

 

MY GOD!!! GET OUT OF MY MIND!!! I WAS GONNA WRITE THAT BUT REALLY DIDN'T KNOW HOW~ I WAS SITTING HERE TRYING TO SOUND IT OUT!

 

NICE WORK!!! LOL

[midnightrambler]

This is a point I tried to make earlier.

 

Why is this guy just standing there laughing while a drunk girl is rubbing herself on him or just being very flirty or suggestive(this is what one person described on this thread)?

 

I'd be more worried about the guy and the fact that he continues to be in these situations. Normally the only men who encounter this situation often are the ones who 1) give off body language and signals to other women that says he is open to it and 2) are frequently out in venues that are loaded with intoxicated women.

 

The average guy I'd have to guess doesn't find himself in this sitation often enough to have to even worry about how to handle it.

 

 

 

i have to agree with that.....i bet Tom Brady's woman isn't jealous

[midnightrambler]

ha... me too man! But I guess I don't run into that thank God. My guy knows how to keep his hands and eyes to himself, or he's hiding for my sake and then I still say that's fine. He can look. I highly doubt he would ever eye-f anyone but me... glance yes, steamy glance nah. Not like him.

 

uh huh........

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i think it is natural to feel a little jealousy about someone you are attached to. there's something hormonal or primeval about that. even my dogs are jealous of each other and don't like it when i pay too much attention to the other dog... and kids don't like it if mommy pays too much attention to another kid.

 

so i think it is quite natural, and a sign of attachment. i actually knew i should divorce my husband when i realized i wasn't even the least bit jealous that he might be with someone else, in fact was RELIEVED in the sense of, here, you take him and he can be your problem now... i knew i just wasn't attached to him anymore because i didn't care if he was with someone else and saw it as freeing rather than upsetting.

 

so recognizing it is a natural emotion, the question becomes what to do with it. as long as the person doesn't become a raging lunatic over jealousy, or start making false accusations or attacking someone else, i don't think it is problem. it can become tiresome though if the person is trying to build a wall around their partner to 'guard' him from other women, like a dog guards a bone. a little bit of jealousy shows you care, a lot comes off as controlling.