FreedomRing Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 A great way to do that - to get perspective - is to integrate him into your life at a reasonable pace - right now, it's artificial/ fantasy like in the sense that you're getting to know him at lightning speed through the lens of this euphoria. If you saw him once or twice a week and spoke with him briefly a few times a week otherwise - (and for me it would also mean delaying sex since for me that clouds the brain too), you could see whether in the context of your real life - and his real life - you two are compatible - and especially how he is over time and how you are over time. Everyone can take a vacation from reality and be charming, adorable and yummy. Agree with you Batya...we actually talked last night about doing just that...one of the things I am appreciating, is the openness and honesty we're displaying at this very early stage....I'm scared and overwhelmed, while also excited as much as he is....and we have only done heavy "petting"...we both are well aware of where quick sex leads, and we want no part in that, although it is difficult becuase hte physical desire is very strong...most of our activities have been outside of the home....and in public places, something we're both insisting on...because it IS so early in the game..... Thanks for your angles..it really does help, and keep me considering all facets...while i'm on this ride..(however long it lasts).. Oh and the pregnant thing was def a joke..lol..imagine that...I have way too many other things going on in my life at the moment to get totally caught up, and I won't let any of that stuff get jeopardized for a relationship...my head is not THAT much in the clouds..lol.that love won't pay my bills or get me my degree...so no worries, I'm still very grounded... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Once again be careful about defining traits based on one week together. "Open and honest" is really easy when a relationship is new and there is this high infatuation. Obviously it's a good sign but not all that relevant to whether he is open and honest in good times and in stressful times. Link to comment
longhaircats Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 OP is lucky to have met someone who makes her this way and that's what I was talking about. There are so many girls waiting for a romance but it doesn't happen often. Seems that having a long-term relationship is the only "success" or "goal" for some people, but I don't think there is nothing wrong with having a passsionate short-term relationship. Risk makes life interesting in my book. I agree with your last point---enjoy those delicious feelings, that's all I meant. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Yes I meant that too-- of course she should enjoy this - it is yummy and exciting stuff! - but "congratulating" someone as if it is an accomplishment to meet someone you are head over heels for for one week just sounds....well, odd. If you mean congratulations as in "you won the prize - you found a man who is head over heels for you for one week and you feel the same way" well, ok, I can see where some people might see that as an occasion for "you are SO lucky!" I have to say, if I really felt that I would feel so lucky to find someone who was head over heels for me for one week (so far) I would work really hard on getting a life. I would hate to see the message conveyed to women that they should dream of being so lucky to have some man crazy about them for a week. I didn't mean that an LTR is the only goal but when it comes to loving relationships I don't see it as an accomplishment to be congratulated that you manage to remain in a relationship and feel head over heels for one week. But I do see it as yummy and exciting! Link to comment
MorbidMetalHead87 Posted February 2, 2008 Share Posted February 2, 2008 Is it love? I dunno cause I once felt exsactily the same you did for a guy I knew. And we never were a couple or anything but it did take a year to die down. Very slowly aswell. And I kept asking myself. "is it love?" and everyone else said it was more like obsession. For you I reckon you should at least see where it leads. Link to comment
AutumnBorn Posted February 2, 2008 Share Posted February 2, 2008 If you have to ask, no. Link to comment
hugmeup Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Perhaps I should slow it down, and not see him everyday....I have been toying with that idea precisely because I AM aware of the risks I wonder if that is what happened to my marriages. From the day we met we spent almost everyday together. First marriage lasted 13 years Second marriage lasted 17 years Hmmmmm Link to comment
FreedomRing Posted February 4, 2008 Author Share Posted February 4, 2008 Well, things are still pretty intense...we've cooled off a bit with the heavy conversations(lovey dovey type) but we've still seen each other about every day of last week as well...and I spent the night 4x last week..including last night...no sex...just lots of cuddling and talking... We'll see what happens... Hugmeup, Surely seeing each other frequently wasn't the main contributor to your failed marriages, right? I'd hate for that to be true.. Link to comment
TropicalParadise Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 Sabreen81, I know exactly how you're feeling right now - it feels great, doesn't it? I met a man while I was out with friends, spent all night talking to him...and sparks FLEW. I never knew what people meant when they said that they could almost see fireworks when they kissed another person, but I did that night. I can't really explain it, but I just KNEW that I met him for a reason. We spent everyday together for 2 weeks until I was unfortunately moving accross the country for school. It sounds crazy saying it now, but we kept in contact everyday, and he ended up driving accross the country to see me. I left school 2 months later because I was very homesick and wanted to attend college closer to home. Well, 3 years later, here we are still together. And although our relationship has settled and our relationship feels more comfortable now, I'm still in love with him and glad I took the chance to move back home although I didn't know him for that long. I say, keep doing what you guys are doing, because you never know where this thing will take you unless you take the chance. I wouldn't say you're in love yet, but the chemistry you're feeling now could definitely turn into real love later on. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 The title says it all....Met someone just last week.....and we've hung out everday since....I can't eat, or sleep....can't concentrate at work...we've been emailing and texting throughout the day....is it love?? Throughout my 26 yrs of existence, and 3 failed relationships....I have NEVER felt this way before??!!! I now know the true meaning of all those corny phrases, "weak in the knees", "love at first sight", "felt it in my toes" etc....could it be L-o-v-e?? That sounds more like intense infatuation and attraction. I doubt its love. Link to comment
digitaldiva Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 The title says it all....Met someone just last week.....and we've hung out everday since....I can't eat, or sleep....can't concentrate at work...we've been emailing and texting throughout the day....is it love?? Throughout my 26 yrs of existence, and 3 failed relationships....I have NEVER felt this way before??!!! I now know the true meaning of all those corny phrases, "weak in the knees", "love at first sight", "felt it in my toes" etc....could it be L-o-v-e?? Most people feel like that in the beginning of a relationship. I felt like that as well. Both of us try really hard to keep our individual lives ongoing and not become obsessive about each other. You need time to miss one another and I'm sure you know why. Link to comment
FreedomRing Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 Yeah it may not be love...but it's an interesting feeling nonetheless, definitely one in which I've never felt before, with ANYONE....but I'm still going with flow of things and seeing how things unfold. Like I said, we've cooled down a tad...lots of heavy "petting", but we're both very committed on not rollin around in the hay, until we both feel it to be the "right" time, to avoid getting caught up in a whirlwind, and primarily, physical relationship...although it is hard not too!!! So for now, just dates, and talking occasionally throughout the week, and we're both pretty comfortable with the pace... I'll keep ya'll posted, and thanks for all the advice...because be it love, infatuation, lust, whatever, it feels nice and I feel in control(of my actions--that is) Link to comment
JadedStar Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Just roll with it. Infatuation can make you feel happy, giddy and floaty. Just have fun with it! Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 OOOHHHH damn I can't resist If you were the therapist you claimed to be then you would know that the feeling you got is LUST-not love and neither infatuation because it's on;y been a week. It's obvious that you are lonely and you actually love to love-not the actual person but it seems to me that you are missing the feeling of being in love-and that is natural--we all go through this in the healing process. My suggestion is to just let it flow and it will all be alright. Link to comment
FreedomRing Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 OOOHHHH damn I can't resist If you were the therapist you claimed to be then you would know that the feeling you got is LUST-not love and neither infatuation because it's on;y been a week. It's obvious that you are lonely and you actually love to love-not the actual person but it seems to me that you are missing the feeling of being in love-and that is natural--we all go through this in the healing process. My suggestion is to just let it flow and it will all be alright. Thanks for the insight Kat, surely the day I solicit advice from you, would be when h e l l freezes over and pigs fly Isn't there some cake you need to be baking Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Thanks for the insight Kat, surely the day I solicit advice from you, would be when h e l l freezes over and pigs fly Isn't there some cake you need to be baking Naw-no cake Armani sounds better got more time to prep myself and buy a V-Day outfit to seduce my REALTIME dude-hahaha Best served cold! Get Focused and stop being so darn NEEDY! Only fool falls in love over night-or in one week and damn i know that so what's your function>? Taste your own meds-bittersweet isn't it- Link to comment
FreedomRing Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 Chirp, Chirp..I see the birds are out... I love all the attention you're giving me btw...thx for gassing me I now see where they came up with the term "dirty" jerz..eww! Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Chirp, Chirp..I see the birds are out... I love all the attention you're giving me btw...thx for gassing me I now see where they came up with the term "dirty" jerz..eww! WOW--you dealing with feelings and emotions aren't you-you know better you see me--JERSEY is here and you can call me what you want-Babe I am a living LEGEND so please don't knock the hustle. I met guys once go on two dates and get platinum gifts without obsessing or giving up the noochie-so what drug are you off of? You see my photo no bird here, no dirty shi* either boo-boo. Don't hate the player hate the game for leaving you out in the cold! You are so funny to me! No one even says that anymore you are so off---BRICK City Babe--NEW Jerz that is---please stop being a hater!!! Link to comment
avman Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 This thread closed for flaming. Link to comment
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