greensleeves Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 You are making excuses to call him...STOP!!!! You've come too far...he's manipulating you. Link to comment
vouge_idea Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 You are making excuses to call him...STOP!!!! You've come too far...he's manipulating you. i won't call him. i just can't help but wonder what the he!! he wants. it can't be 'oh baby, i want you back' it's something more. i really won't call him. Link to comment
vouge_idea Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 He didn't sound sad or upset. He sounded fine and I could tell he was with his friends. Im almost scared ... hes got something up his sleeve. Link to comment
greensleeves Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Good for you It probably isn't "oh baby I want you back", but whatever it is it is something that will keep you strung along just enough so that he has the security of knowing you are there in the background for him. Don't play into his games. You've done really well and should be proud of the progress you've made over the last little while. It will pay off for you in a much brighter and better future. Hang in there and keep posting when you feel your going to "crack" again. We all know how hard it can be. Link to comment
greensleeves Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 You have nothing to be scared of. There is nothing he can do to you unless you allow him to. Be strong and have faith in yourself. Link to comment
vouge_idea Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 no im scared of what he has to say ....... he probably just wants to talk crap or something ....... i don't know. as much as i wonder, i won't call. that's the first step in letting him know that i don't care. i know what i'll do ....... i won't call. he'll wonder why, so he'll call again and i wont answer Link to comment
Hope75 Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Vogue, I just caught up with this thread and I want to tell you how pleased I am that you finally ended this. About him calling you and acting like nothing happened- he is so used to controlling you and having you under his thumb he is feeling that loss of control over you, and he isn't liking it. He's been so used to you running after him and begging him to stay and be with you, and that has been such a dig ego boost for him. Now that you are taking control of yourself and your choices he doesn't like that. He's sniffing around to see if he can get you back on his string. I think he honestly likes jerking you around. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Do not answer him...the test is to see if he can still snap his fingers and have you running. Many of these controlling, manipulative types like to play that game....break up with you but dangle carrots so that you hope they will be back. It doesn't matter that you left him showing that you are fine with it...he doesn't believe you are fine so he contacts you and wants you to call back..so if you do call back he will have a self-satisfied smug grin on his fact knowing that you still want him. It is for his own ego boost. Do not contact him...ignore all of his attempts to wear you down. Do not believe him. Link to comment
vouge_idea Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 i just thought of something .... even if i did call (which im not) he probably won't even answer ...... just wants me to call ...... to see if i will ........ but has no intention on answering. maybe, maybe not. definetly a possibility tho! ugggh he makes me ill. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 i just thought of something .... even if i did call (which im not) he probably won't even answer ...... just wants me to call ...... to see if i will ........ but has no intention on answering. maybe, maybe not. definetly a possibility tho! ugggh he makes me ill. Exactly. He's fishing. Don't fall for the bait. He's a jerk- read over you thread here if you have any doubts or a hard time remembering. Link to comment
vouge_idea Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 This is so lame. Im glad I was (and still am) at work while he called, it gave me a distraction I don't know why he is doing this to me. He told me he didn't want to be with me anymore. I finally gavve him what he wanted. Now he needs to leave me alone. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 This is so lame. Im glad I was (and still am) at work while he called, it gave me a distraction I don't know why he is doing this to me. He told me he didn't want to be with me anymore. I finally gavve him what he wanted. Now he needs to leave me alone. He's just looking to see if he still has power over you and can still control you and keep you at his whim. Be strong. Don't fall for it. Link to comment
vouge_idea Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 Got home, I didn't call. After an hour ... he called ... I didn't answer ... he left a big 'ole voicemail ... hmm ... Link to comment
RayKay Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 VI - I am very proud of you for not calling back as I can understand certainly how hard it was not too! Others are right, he is trying to make sure he still has you on a puppet string. This is not just based on this breakup, but your other posts - he does get an ego boost out of knowing you will do "anything" (which is not healthy of course!) and putting you down to build himself up higher...and now suddenly he realizes you have had enough.... Do not call, he does not deserve you. You are the one that needs to put the stop to this toxic relationship, and believe me while it is hard now, you will look back and be so proud of YOURSELF too. Link to comment
wiser Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Got home, I didn't call. After an hour ... he called ... I didn't answer ... he left a big 'ole voicemail ... hmm ... vougue...I am not thrilled with the "hmm" at the end of your post. It seems to me as if you are "considering something". Maybe not. I hope not. I can see the temptation there. I would be shocked if you didnt listen to the voicemail. If you didn't, great. If you did, then let me guess what it said. "I miss you, what's the problem, why don't you call me back, I love you, we can work it out". He will tell you everything he knows you want to hear, and he knows what to say because you were together for a while and he knows how to push your buttons. If his actions were somewhat understandable before, now he is just being a real a-hole. I hope you realize that and you are staying strong. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 i agree with wiser. did you listen to the message? you did, didn't you? you should have deleted it. why are you so hung up on this guy? this is the prime example of why girls wonder why guys are jerks. good guys end up looking bad cause of these punks. put this guy out of your head already. please. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Vogue, Think of him as a stray dog. He's used to getting fed gourmet meals from you and all of the sudden his food source had stopped. What? No more food on the porch?? He's going to come sniffing around the porch for awhile because he thinks the more persistent he is, the more likely you are to crumble and leave him a few scraps. The thing about stray dogs is that once you stop feeding them for good, they eventually go away. Let him sniff- he's having trouble believing you can live without him because he thinks he's so 'wonderful' since you were hanging on his every word before which is a HUGE ego boost for him. This guy needs to be taken down a notch. He needs to learn that when you treat a woman like that- she leaves. Show him that it is unacceptable to treat someone like that. Don't give him the satisfaction of thinking the way he treated you was OK and correct. Link to comment
beauty21 Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 You remind me of myself. That guy wants you, but he only wants you because you are someone that he feels is always going to be there. Someone he can do any and everything to and still love him no matter what. This relationship is not going to work out. I'm glad you are realizing this because you will be mad at yourself 5 years from now when you are still going thru the same things, you will wish you have gotten out sooner. Believe it or not, all of this is happening to you for a reason and you will be a much stronger young lady when you get thru this. I used to be the same way as you. Clingy, chasing him down streets, sneaking in his basement waiting for him to come home. I had to be around him 24/7 and when I wasn't my mind was wandering cause I knew what he was doing. And yes, his cheating made me insecure. You are too young to be revovling your life around a man. A man that is obviously immature, and disrespectful. Now, today I am so different than I was before. I have learned to give my bf space, and I trust him so I don't hassle him when he wants to do things on his own or with his friends. He gives me enough security to know that he is in this just as much as I am. Things will get better. You ARE going to find someone else, only next time God will bless you with a real man. You'll see. For now, ignore his calls and don't listen to his messages. I wouldn't even give this guy the satisfaction. And for cripes sake, DO NOT HAVE ANY MORE SEX WITH HIM! And yes, it is easier to say those things to us, but from the way he has been acting you should have already built the courage to tell him what you told us. Nothing about this is going to be easy. In fact you have some of the hardest days ahead to look forward to so let's leave "easy" as just a word. Lose yourself. Tell this guy to get lost and when you do mean it with all your heart. He will realize one day just how lucky he was but then it will be too late. Link to comment
vouge_idea Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 I did listen to the message. It was a whole speal of how much of a mistake he made. It was basically ME a week ago. Telling me he loved me ... and all that. Again, me a week ago chasing him. I listened to it and then deleted it. Haven't called him ... and he hasn't called me. Im going to go do a little christmas shopping and then i've got drinks w/the girls tonight. I can't believe where I am compared to where I was over the weekend. I never thought it would be OK, but it is. I love him and I certainly miss him ... but there is just too much damage. Link to comment
beauty21 Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Glad to hear you deleted the message and not returning or answering his calls. You are doing the right thing and you are going to be fine. Yes, go shopping and take your mind off him. Hang out with your girls, you will need them now. Wow, Vogue I am impressed. Keep it up. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Keep yourself VERY distracted. Going out with girlfriends is great. Going out christmas shopping is great. STAY BUSY! An idle mind is going to be your worst enemey right now. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Wow, Vogue I am impressed. Keep it up. dittoo. very proud of u and where you are at the moment... definitely way beyond a 180 Link to comment
greensleeves Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Way to go VI!!! Have fun with your friends....you are doing an amazing job, be proud of yourself Link to comment
vouge_idea Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 Thank you ALL sooooooooooo much! You've all been wonderful to me. I didn't think I'd get to this point, and with all your help I did. Should anything happen w/him ..... I will post Link to comment
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