She's beautiful, but dumb...oh the humanity!!

[greenmonster]

ok...so last night I took this girl out that is seriously beautiful...I mean...I'm more than willing to admit that this girl is outta my league when it comes to looks...but as we get to talking I realize that she is quite literally the mental equivalent of a box of hair...or an empty brown paper bag...maybe a fence post.

 

She likes me...shes actually still at my apartment from last night...and I actually like her too...and its fun hanging out with her because she says some of the funniest things I've ever heard...but she isn't trying to be funny...kinda like Jessica Simpson when she asked if Tuna was Chicken or Fish because its called "Chicken of the Sea"...

 

my question is...should I pursue this relationship further with this girl? or will her dumbness eventually drive me insane? she's really nice & sweet...and I know she is wanting a serious relationship and not just a fling...whatta ya think? test things out and see how long I can last? or cut ties now before things get too far along?

[Weeblie]

Well since you're already thinking she's dumb, I'd bail out now.

It'll only get worse.

[someguy88]

I think you're the only one that can answer this question. If you have fun with her and you laugh together, why not stick around for a bit?

[Merrick]

I agree with someguy88...if you like the girl then see where it'll go. She might drive you crazy in a month, or, you can laugh and have fun and enjoy eachothers company...as long as you aren't expecting some deep, meaningful conversations, you may have a chance.

[CandyKins]

There are more then just looks.

 

I'll say be friends and see how that goes.

[Weeblie]

Yeah but if her dumbness is so bad that he has to post about it...

I don't know.

 

What if the looks fade away? What if she gets real annoying...Jessica Simpson was pretty bad about that...

 

I mean if he was charmed by her dumbness that's another story. I don't believe he would even call it dumbness if that was the case. It'd be like innocence, naive sense of humor, unaware or something more flattering sounding.

[greenmonster]

There are more then just looks.

 

 

Oh I agree...

 

but are "deep intellectual" conversations honestly needed in a successful relationship? I mean...as long as we laugh, have fun, and get along...cant I just save my discussions on molecular physics & string theory for other people?

 

I guess what I'm asking is....Is it best to date a person that is your mental equivalent? or do people on different ends of the spectrum have a chance at success as much as like minds?

[ghost69]

only you can answer this. does it bother you? do you want substance?

[vagrant]

Does a dumb girl really bother you??

 

Myself, I really don't care that much. As long as I am attracted to her, have fun with her, and she likes me... that's all I'm worried about.. you can't have everything...

[ghost69]

think of it this way. do you think you can handle not having a conversation the rest of your life? if not, fun is all you got. not a real connection though.

[breath.o.fresh.air]

I agree with Weebile. I tried dating a guy once that was not the brightest, to say the least. It drove me insane after the first date. But at the same time, he ended up dating another friend of mine, and they've been together for about a year now. If you can have fun with her, and enjoy her company, maybe try being friends with her for a bit first? That way you could get to know each other better, etc, and see how things go. It really depends on what you want out of the relationship.

[melrich]

I don't see how a relationship can work if you think the other person is dumb. "I love her to bits but she is so dumb"....doesn't work for me.

[someguy88]

I was just thinking about a really thick woman that I dated years ago. She was also drop dead gorgeous and I was initially attracted to her strictly in a physical sense. At first I did find myself rolling my eyes at some of the things she would say, but it didn't take long for me to warm up to her on an emotional level. I think what's in people's hearts is more important than what's in their heads.

[greenmonster]

Yeah but if her dumbness is so bad that he has to post about it...

I don't know.

 

What if the looks fade away? What if she gets real annoying...Jessica Simpson was pretty bad about that...

 

I mean if he was charmed by her dumbness that's another story. I don't believe he would even call it dumbness if that was the case. It'd be like innocence, naive sense of humor, unaware or something more flattering sounding.

 

actually...I kind of am "charmed" by it...its intriguing...I guess the battle of this is something I'm going to hafta answer for myself...figure out if that ingrigue is just going to turn into irritation in the long run...or if her "naive sense of humor" combined with her charm and sweetness is enough to make this a real connection.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

your 30 years old asking us should you date a dumb woman? i dont know.......is she "pull my finger" dumb? or do you question weather shes retarded?

[rocio]

why don't you leave this poor girl alone? You're writing trash about her while she's still in your home? That's not cool.

[CandyKins]

Yes deep intellectual (doesn't have to be to extreme) converations is the golden key for a long lasting, healthy and successful relationship.

 

She would be good for a friend, right? After all love is nothing without friendship.

[EQD]

i think you should get away, if you are already referring to her as a box of hair then you already dont respect her for who she is.. in a sense you are already looking down on her and you wont see her as an equal.. eventually you will need someone who equally as responsive and intellegent as you, but you will be stuck with a paper bag..

Of course i cant count how many times i wondered why in the hell that guy is with that girl.. i being pretty deep and down to earth.. i always wonder what they see in them.. and its clear to me now.. its the simplicity

[Weeblie]

See that's the thing. I like light people too. But if I'm that aware of their mental prowess, that's going to be a problem. It's one thing to meet someone and think oh cute, how simple of them, but then it's another thing to realize...wow they're riding on that school bus.

 

Knowing myself, I couldn't handle that. I'd always feel like a parent taking care of a child and that would bother me. BUT that's just me. When it comes to relationships, I want someone that can fight me (and possibly win), someone on the same level as I am because I will try them. It's like those couples that like to playfight. Some people love it, some people hate it.

 

So I suppose hanging out with her can't hurt. Since you're unsure of how you'd react to her, it's probably best that you hang out with her some more and see where it goes.

[jettison]

There are more then just looks.

 

I'll say be friends and see how that goes.

 

Yes, but if what he's getting out of it are her looks and the physicality of the relationship then why be "just friends"?

 

If she's truly Jessica Simpson dumb, then this is a tough call. Knowing that you have no respect for her in this way would mean that you'd likely come to have no respect for her period sooner then later. However, if she's just silly and unrefined then I wouldn't hesitate to date her.

 

Lots of people do not need to date their mental equal, and in fact, many people get a long much better with those that won't challenge them on a daily basis. If you still have your friendbase then it's often true that you don't need your partner to fulfill those requirements.

 

If what you're looking for is a "deep, spriitual connection with an equal" however, then maybe it's best to cut this girl loose, especially if you imagine that she might be serious about you. No use in hurting someone just so you can get your kicks.

[pinkelephant]

i come off dumb a lot of the times, lol. most guys are surprised when they find out how smart i actually am. and then they become really impressed haha probably because i come off stupid before.

 

i think you should give it sometime. lol.

[pinkelephant]

another thing is, mental challenge doesnt always mean who can do the fundamental proof of calculus faster. i dont know why people would think that way??

[Miss Firecracker]

In my experience, some of the "smartest" people are really stupid.

[Pegasus]

actually...I kind of am "charmed" by it...its intriguing...I guess the battle of this is something I'm going to hafta answer for myself...figure out if that ingrigue is just going to turn into irritation in the long run...or if her "naive sense of humor" combined with her charm and sweetness is enough to make this a real connection.

 

I kind of have a feeling that you're more concerned what other people will tell about it like - look at this dude, his gf is really dumb. Or you're just confused about why do you like her so much when she's dumb. Maybe even scared you're dumb too because of that? ;-)

[Miss Firecracker]

I once read that the most common regret is marrying someone who is not beautiful. So I think you should go for it. You don't want any regrets when you get older.