Can he be her bestfriend and nothing more?

[Sir Tristan CA]

I have to say, I'm going through a similar situation, and there's nothing that you can do. There really isn't, I know. You love her too much to simply dump her, but at the same time you feel as though she should at least understand that you feel threatened by this guy. My GF has a guy friend that she has admitted to me she had a crush on before I cam in to her life. Every time I see them hang out she is very flirtacious, but I know it's only because she doesn't quite understand what types of things are flirty. If she did, I'm sure she wouldn't do it anymore, but that's besides the point. The thing I'm trying to say is, we had HUGE arguments over it, and in the end I realized that if she really wanted to be with this guy she could just drop me and be with him... I also realized that he's practically retarded (he's normal, but VERY stupid), so if she actually liked him then she would no longer be the girl I fell in love with.

 

Just remember that she's with you for a reason. I know it seems like they have a lot of fun when she might not with you, so bring that up. Just let her know that something's bothering you about it, and tell her exactly what it is and why, but remind her that you aren't suggesting she drop her friend.

[lost_dreamer]

I think its really bad that she puts plans with this other guy before plans with you. I see what shes saying about having a good friend, but at the same time you are there for her as her boyfriend and she seems to be saying that time with him is more important.

It must be really confusing and hard for you and I kind of know how you feel, but at 17 you are in a good position to learn from this

[blindfold]

if she'd rather be with him than with you, walk out, simple as that. she made plans with him - fine if it happens once, but getting in the way of you two being together constantly is not right. and if she'd rather he do those "little" things you took pleasure in doing, that means smt wrong is happening here... be careful...

[Rabican]

I would have to say that the fact that she prefers his friendship to yours shows that there is seriously something wrong in your relationship.

 

Secondly, she shows a serious immaturity to drop you for him, and then go back again.

 

Thirdly, constantly texting him and calling him while with you is disrespectful to you. Try this, the next time she comes over call some girl you know or text her back and forth for an hour and see how your girl reacts. She wont be happy.

 

My vote is to kick her to the curb, she sounds like a piece of work, and definitely isnt ready to settle down, or treat you with respect.

[Rabican]

When I was 17 I had a boyfriend who always got mad because I hung out with my friends all the time. It got to the point that I started lying to him about it. Please let her live her life. She is telling you the truth. If you keep pushing the issue, she will break up with you eventually.

 

You can tell her that you are uncomfortable with the situation but you can't force her to change.

 

As long as she is living her life, and yet still being respectful to her boyfriend thats fine. However preferring this other guys affection/time/friendship to her man isnt a good thing. Texting all day long while with the bf isnt good. Leaving the bf for the 'friend' isnt good... my point.... break up with her. let her live her life... without all the drama and without the boyfriend.

[Brooke657]

I'm usually the one who's saying that they could definatly be just friends and I still think that. I also agree with Rabican though. Maybe you should just let her live her life. If she wants to spend more time with him then let her but you shouldn't have to stay around for it then.