I might Die

[DragonGirl724]

Dark One,

 

I would first like to say that your strength is admirable. And we all feel total empathy for you and we want to extend our compassion for you with the option of talking to me or any of us through the forum or through PMs anytime!

 

For all any of us know we all could have 1 month left or we can die tomorrow. Death comes to us all. We shouldn't fear it. My suggestion to you is not to dwell on the how much time you have left...none of us know for sure how much time we have left.

 

I thought leprocy is cured with the proper antibiotics, though it takes time-1 to 2 yrs?

 

My heart and prayers go out to you & your loved ones. I hope you find the strength to keep positive and hold onto faith.

 

you are in all our thoughts.

(and your mask IS very cool)

 

-DG724

[TANKGRL]

Out of curiosity what do your parents do for a living?

[Spugly Fuglet]

humm some thing deeper I think, I poem.

 

[iF]

 

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you

But make allowance for their doubting too,

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

 

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,

If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

 

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

 

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

 

If all men count with you, but none too much,

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

 

--Rudyard Kipling

[Cimmie]

Since Spugly has introduced the poetry, DarkOne, here is a poem about defying death by the great English poet John Donne. It's nearly as brave as you are!

We are all thinking of you

 

 

 

DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee

Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,

For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,

Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,

Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,

And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,

Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.

Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,

And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,

And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,

And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;

One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,

And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

[DragonGirl724]

FOOTPRINTS

 

One night I had a dream. I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and accross the skies flashed scenes of my life. In each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One was mine, and one was the Lord's. When the last scene of my life appeared before me,I looked back at the footprints in the sand, and to my surprise I noticed that many times along the path of my life there was only one set of footprints, and I noticed that it was at the lowest and saddest times in my life. I asked the Lord about it:

"Lord you said that once I decided to follow you, you would walk with me all the way. But I notice that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why you left my side when I needed you most."

 

The Lord said: "My precious child, I never left you during your time of trial.

Where you see only one set of footprints, I was carrying you."

 

 

 

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Psalm 23

[simply complicated]

Hey DarkOne

 

I can't help but be taken by your situation, I was thinking about it all day a work, I really started putting my own life into perspective, like DragonGirl said, it could be our time anytime, 1 month, 1 year or a single minute, we don't really know, you've made me appreciate each moment in life.

I'm sorry to hear about what your parents have put you through, they don't seem to appreciate the kinda person you really are. Could'nt imagine neglecting someone like that, especially if I had a son like you.

Your truly an inspiration to everyone. Although you wear a mask, I think everyone has worn a mask deep down, people go through life with such pretences which distract us from what is truly important, you have made me come to realize how important life is.

 

P.S. System of a down is amazing \,.,/

[Belgian girl]

Just read about your situation. Wish I found the words to say something with a deep content but I don't at this moment. Think you needn't be afraid for dead. Hope to hear from you soon, saw it's already several post ago since your last one, and if you have other questions or like others said, if you want to complain about your pain, that's just normal, we will understand that. I like Rammstein very much as well.

Thanks very much for sharing, it's something so personal and now I started paying more attention to priorities in my life and by doing that I think about you. I guess 'We are all flying over the time'. I believe in it that we will see you back at the other side. There, I guess there are already a lot of people (and animals) I love with whole my heart. You sound like a very good person so no way you need to worry about a 'hell'. I think about my passed friends about every day so it's like I carry them with me whole the time, they are in my thought, gave me inspiration, made me for who I am so it's like a kind of collection of those good people/animals. I just keep carrying the good things with me inside. I also know someone who has had an almost-dead-experience and it wasn't something to fear for at all (a sound like angels who are singing and the other things I can't remember or have never known (I'm sorry)). One of my aunts has been very sick b/c of cancer not long ago and she took a lot of positivity by using her believe in her religion (sorry for my bad english).

I think you are very couragous, you still keep having your sense of humor and that's already worth a lot!

Maybe it also 'works' (to get a better feeling) to think about nice things that has happened and you still remember, for me it usually helps me feeling better. And the thought of good things that I've shared with beloved people and the feeling we understood each other.

I do have that feeling as well, like I will die some day without having done anything 'special' (that will be remembered in history..) so I think that's just normal and for me, little things are usually the most special and I won't forget them.

From now on I will take a look here very often just to see how you're doing and b/c I'm interested. Can't wait to hear how you're doing at the moment. I would like to know about you as a unique person so feel free to tell what's on your mind. What's your real name (if you prefer not to mention, no problem!)?

Wish you as much comfort as possible!:smile: Best wishes from Belgium..

 

P.S. Simply complicated, I like your subscription!

[sidehop]

I hope you're feeling a little better.

 

Are there other people like yourself at the hospital you're in?

[TANKGRL]

Hey kiddo!!! How are ya doing?? So I read you get to go out on occasion with your buddies... what kinda things are you into and able to do?? I was in the hospital for a week when I had my gallbladder out and I thought I was gonna die I hate hospitals... you are one tough kid!! I really admire that!!

[Spugly Fuglet]

Yep hows things,

 

Spissssed I think ^^^ Tank thinks you cool but dont tell her I told ya

[TANKGRL]

lol I do!! He's the kinda person I'd be proud to have as a brother

It's funny... I've been in pain due to an accident at work where I injured my knee(got hurt in 2005 and had Surgery May 4th 2007) and yet it seems so insignificant after learning about DO.

[Spugly Fuglet]

And heres some thing more

 

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The pattern

[Tigris]

Dark One the good people always die young.

 

My cousin stubbed his toe answering the telephone. He was told no broken bones. Three weeks later when he was x-rayed he was told he'd been walking around on a broken foot. They put a plaster cast on his leg and waited until it was time to have it removed. It hadn't healed. When they investigated further they discovered cancer. At 15 he had his leg removed below the knee. We all thought he was going to die soon. He managed to live until he was 21 and got secondary cancer.

 

He was the most placid boy you could ever meet. He was never any trouble to his parents. He had 2 sisters who were always causing problems.

 

Like you Michael made everyone else feel comfortable visiting or talking to him. It's the greatest gift you could give to us.

 

I believe that everyone is born for a reason and once they have done their intended work it is time to move on to the next stage.

 

When you get to heaven you will no longer look the way that you do now. Your body will be healed. Once there you will be given choices. You either take on a job in heaven which is allocated to you. Some people are given the job of being a Guardian Angel. Other people decide to return to earth to teach people more lessons. You won't necessarily be a human you could be an animal, etc. Even in heaven you don't stay in the same job. You learn stuff and get promoted to harder tasks.

 

Frequently I have visits from members of my family. I don't know who visited me last night, but it was definitely someone who was mischievious they were driving me crazy. They were playing with my hair whilst I was on the computer. Yes it was very late and I wasn't sleepy, but obviously someone was telling me it's 3am and you should be in bed. When I went to bed they left me alone.

 

Sometimes my dvd/video player turns itself on and then after a while it turns itself off. I know who that is...it's Grandad! When he was very ill he would want to turn the channel over on his portable tv with the remote control. He was ALWAYS hitting the volume button. I would have to run upstairs at my grandparents house and turn it down again. I used to say, 'You can touch any button on there except that one.' A few minutes later I had to run back upstairs again. The whole street could hear what he was watching. lol.

 

If my Nanna (grandmother) visits her home when I visit my father you always know it's her. I hear a tinkle of a teaspoon in a cup or mug. When I go into the kitchen there's the teaspoon in an empty cup. She'd been stirring it again. When she was alive she was always making cups of tea. Another habit she has it turning the electric kettle on and off even though it isn't plugged in.

 

I've had people sitting on my bed before. I hadn't a clue who that was. I've had beautiful pink, yellow and white twinkling lets in the shape of someones head. I felt a lovely warmth of love that night. I felt so peaceful.

 

If Denise, one of my sisters is going to cause me problems or there's going to be an argument when she sees me I know in advance because my Great Aunt comes to visit me. I know it's her because I smell her. I know that sounds funny but I'll try and explain. When people wash their clothes they smell of washing powder and softener, but when they've worn them you can smell their personal smell, e.g. the perfume, aftershave, soap, deodorant, etc. Anyway the stronger the smell the more trouble is brewing. I never know what I've done to warrant a visit from my sister but everytime I've had the warning she's said something to me.

 

I've even had visits from animals. I've thought it was my 2 dogs behind me and when I've looked they've been downstairs in the garden.

 

Dark One you can visit your friends whenever you want when you learn how to do it. Even your pets will know when you're around.

 

There's one thing I'd like to suggest to you or maybe you've already done it. You seem like a very thoughtful person. Some parents when their children die set up organisations to help other children who have the same illness. It could be research or stuff to make the children more comfortable in hospital. Maybe give them a last holiday to remember so the family have a good memory of the child being happy. I realise you haven't had that chance and I'm sorry for you.

 

Your memory could live on in thousands of people if your parents started an organisation up in your name. Maybe you could discuss it with them and start the process whilst you're here?

 

It's obvious that their priority has been money and themselves and you haven't seen very much of them.

 

Maybe that's the lesson they have to learn and your job is to show them?

 

I'll try and send you some healing help. I seem to have a gift but don't know how to control it yet? It's worked by accident in the last couple of years. My friend is trying to explain how to do it.

 

God bless you.

[Brooke657]

wow, I know exact how you feel. I have cystic fibrosis and I don't have long either. All I can say is enjoy your time left. Waiting sucks but at the same time it's amazing because you have time to say the things you've always wanted to to people. Some people die instantly and then things are left unsaid and that's the worst thing ever. The thought of death is scary but I think we all have to go through it eventually. I'm really sorry it's happening when your only 16 though.

Tay they still might find a transplant donor then you wouldn't die and you could keep raging with me for years.

[Brooke657]

Dark One the good people always die young.

Not always but alot of the time that's true. I definatly agree people are here for a reason.

[DarkOne180]

Hi ya All I am DarkOne's m8 Dean,

 

He stop breathing last night he his now sleeping in some kind of special room.

I cant wait till he wakes up.

 

The Doc said he should be awake later today.

I will let him answer the Questions.

 

He keeps talking to himself I can see him through the glass.

 

Been reading about when he talks about his Mother and Father,

I think it is really sad But he gets what he wants all the time : )

Some times he Say Mutter in is sleep Thats German for Mother : (

 

Cant wait until he wakes up.

[Belgian girl]

thank you for keeping in touch

I hope he will get awake in a while and doesn't feel too bad

maybe a stupid question but where does m8 stand for (maid or mate)

BTW he needn't answer all our question if he's for ex. feeling too tired just what feels good for him

[DarkOne180]

He love answering all your questions

His all ways on this thing the doc said his fingers will fall off!

 

Any way to answer you question I am both maid and mate I help him get out of bed to go to a party and when it comes to it help him eat and drink and a mate

I do love him and I really don't want him to die dont really want to think about it.

[TANKGRL]

It's very sweet of you to take care of him!!! I am sure it means the world to him to have someone there for him. I hope he's doing better!!!! We all look forward to hearing from him again!! My prayers go out to him.

[DarkOne180]

Hmmmm he has got his head up but I cant see if his eyes are open coz of the mask but it looks like he is looking at me and the rest of his friends I think I shell tell the nurse.

[DarkOne180]

He is a wake again now (Thank you god)

 

his nan is here I cant talk German so dunno what they are saying soo see ya

DarkOne Said he will talk to you all in a min

[DarkOne180]

TANKG!RL Thanks for saying I am cool and my Mother and Father dont have a job they buy land and build hotels and places like that they also buy old things and sell them or keep them they might buy this Skull on the news Dimand.

 

SideHop There are no other people in the hospital I think.

 

I cant remember who ask my name my memory is not as good as it was I can

remember it saying if I dont mind,

And I really dont mind My really name is Fritz : )

[Belgian girl]

It was me asking your real name

Guess you were dreaming about your Mother or something b/c of you were saying it (like the m8 said)

Do you still have contact with real-life friends?

Hope you don't feel too much pain

[Spugly Fuglet]

TANKG!RL Thanks for saying I am cool and my Mother and Father dont have a job they buy land and build hotels and places like that they also buy old things and sell them or keep them they might buy this Skull on the news Dimand.

 

SideHop There are no other people in the hospital I think.

 

I cant remember who ask my name my memory is not as good as it was I can

remember it saying if I dont mind,

And I really dont mind My really name is Fritz : )

 

 

Good to see your talking to us still old chap, yep that skull comes on at a cool

£50,000,000 nicker, Damey baby has done it again, so hows the room servace

[Daddy Bear]

It's great to see that you have good mates like Dean who stick by you no matter what. Some people live to be very old, and yet never know that kind of close friendship their entire lives.

 

A short video, for your amusement:

 

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