smackie9

IMO if he doesn't stop, doesn't care to stop, that is the person you are marrying. You are stuck with him and his attitude.

His snide remarks about your mother says other wise. My advice is to rent for the month he is back, not for the whole duration of your stay there.

Look we are outside looking in trying to give you some perspective that you may not see. OK so have you put your foot down and told him to zip it?

I say get a temp hotel room type place when he gets in from fishing. He goes back out, you go back with your mom.

So why not get your own place anyways? He wants privacy when he gets home. I wouldn't like it either...I like my space and my privacy. There's noway I could live with an in law, and feel comfortable about it.

A lot of organizations, businesses offer the public alternatives for fun activities to get people back out socializing. It's all there on their websites. Put on a mask and go out.

Is it in fact you have limited experience and you are dating an adult? Kinda hard to fit in with his friends them being more mature. You feeling since they are more mature, their expectations of you would be quite high, hence why you put yourself down, call yourself dumb. You feel like a fish out of water.

I think he's resentful because your actions/behavior to him, seems like you care way more for your mother than him. Just wait til you have babies...it's only going to get worse. When there are "ups and downs" those bumps in the road get bigger over time.

Why are you living with your mother? Fishermen make pretty good coin.

Some people say it was good, BUT you have to be cautious. Chatrooms can have unqualified people being abusive, sexually explicate, etc. As a community, some say they have made friends. Use at your own discretion.

You didn't reciprocated enough to reassure him you were very interested. I guess along with the rumor, he got out of there quick. Why not get in his space and say hi, ask him to hang out.

if you are feeling down about your life, hire a life coach. You can call them and they will re-enforce your confidence level, boost your esteem, etc. Give you some guidance on the fly.

Just tell him your fiance is getting upset with all those messages. It worked for me.

depends where in Canada. Where I live you can't get an apartment for under half a million.

Stop looking through or at his phone.

This won't work sadly. Ya sure it's "amazing" and all that but for a solid long term relationship this has no foundation because you both don't share core values, the age different(opinions may differ), both are at different stages of life and her family hates you. Rip the band-aid off quick.

You were both drunk and out of control. Looks bad on both ends here. Time to move on.

Some people just assume they are exclusive, but why not just have that conversation..you had a few opportunities there to bring it up.

That's addiction to the chase...dopamine is what you actually chase. It's what's released in the brain when we fall for someone. And yes I agree that's your focus is that hit of dopamine that creates what you are feeling in the moment, and has nothing to do with the person you are with. To fix this, you need to rein in these emotions, and actually get to know the person. Learn to admire them, like how pretty her eyes are, the sound of her voice, her laugh, etc. Discover and slow savor. Find your feelings through those little things of attraction. It's true we desire most what we can't have...it's in all of us, but what happens to you is on a different level. This should be looked into by a therapist to help you control it better. You obviously are noticing this, and you are concerned. We can only advice, and not provide you treatment of any kind to resolve this.

So much fuss over money and stability, IMO it will iron itself out without all the intense worry...how about relax, be romantic, and just be happy with each other. Remember she's in a foreign country, no family support, language barriers, she's scared and a little nervous with her new surroundings.

So what does she do for work? I know that most workplaces don't accept dress that would be inappropriate for their business. She work as a waitress?

Mental illness and substance abuse go hand in hand. He lacks proper coping skills, so he uses alcohol and gives abuse to cope with his demons. You staying with him only enables his issues. He holds you hostage emotionally. You already offered help, many many times. He still won't take it. The next step is to leave.

So she was all you have ever known and the unknown when she's gone scares you. I get it, it's life changing. I assure you, you will get through it and grow as a better person. You will meet someone that will blow your mind because she wants what you want. It will happen.

If you want to change your behavior then make changes in your life instead of turning to an addictive activity. Counseling is what you both need right now.

I hate to say this but, she wants out, it's that financially she can't, so she puts on a charade that she doesn't know what she wants...be friendly with you as you don't kick her out. She does know what she wants...she just discovered how difficult it is to make this happen. If she came into some money, she be down the road already. So as she sits there in the house, sleeping in your bed, she's weighing her options, and biding her time. It take two to repair a marriage...she's not a willing participant so what do you really have? Me personally wouldn't lift a finger, that she can figure this out on her own. In the meantime contact a lawyer. It's tough, and very sad. Take time out for yourself, and take care of YOU and the kids.