decibelx

Thank you for this. I feel so stuck, but this made me feel heaps better knowing there's a way out of it although it might be hard to even take the first step.

I was looking into joining the volunteering club on campus, but their activities have been altered a bit cause of Covid. Will join regardless.

Right now my time is mostly spent on coursework, which of course gives me no joy whatsoever. In my free time I just watch movies and spend time on YouTube, so yeah I should probably look into a more productive hobby. Just have to figure out what I like doing cause I've been stagnant for so long due to depression. 100% agree on your last point-- my attachment style is likely anxious due to my parents being emotionally negligent.

I've spent too much time alone and single, I think that's the problem. When someone shows interest in me it's like a whole new world of emotion has opened up.

I don't. I'm an introvert and struggle with social anxiety, so its been rough.

We put an end to that situation some time ago, actually. This is more of some inward reflection on my behaviours that make me unhappy.

Actually does, loads. If I were to be really honest with myself, I'm pretty insecure being on my own and I latch on to external validation whenever it's presented to me. I don't know how to develop the self-love that I need, considering I grew up in an emotionally distant familial environment. I guess there's a part of me that craves affection and intimacy from the lack of it in my childhood.

As far as I know, it has never resulted in a positive outcome. Just a lot of hurt on my end.

It went well actually, but other than mutual interest, we didn't have much else in common. And as multiple people on the post mentioned, it was apparent that we aren't at the same stages in life.

Hey Bluecastle, yeah I remember you from my other post. This isn't about that girl in particular though. I've accepted our differences and am not pursuing that anymore. I guess this is just me venting my frustrations from previous dating experience. It was the same with women around my age as well. And yeah, I only recently decided I wanted to start dating more actively. I did take a more passive stance before.

I truly don't have a type. I only respond to attention from women who initiate as it lets me know they're interested, but somehow they are the ones who are ever ready to play me. I haven't outright rejected anyone either, because I wasn't actively seeking before as I am now.

Either my luck is rotten, because I seem to attract people who are dead set on taking advantage of me, or these people have some secret formula to a successful dating life. I've tried dating apps, but I find them superficial and the people on there to be typically be flaky. Where do adults above the age of 25 actually meet each other?

If a girl keeps cancelling, it's because she's flat out not interested. Once is understandable, but three times... the signs are all there.

So, the date went well and we had fun but a lot of what you guys mentioned about the differences in where we are in life proved to be true. She didn't outright say it, but from some of the things she did say, it's obvious she's at the stage where she wants to party and date casually, while I'm almost at the end of that chapter and am looking for something more stable. I don't think it's going to work out in the long run, but it's all good. Just gotta soldier on.

Yeah you're right, guys. I think I jumped the gun a little bit. The date is tonight and neither of us canceled, so I will keep you guys updated on how it went. Just going to go with the flow.